Jessica Simpson Fake Pics

Jessica Simpson Fake Pics

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This is just a quick thing, but how drunk was Jessica Simpson last night? You be the judge. Jessica and her husband Eric “Big” Johnson went to Craig’s in West Hollywood, and these are photos of their exit from the restaurant. Or should I say, falling out of the restaurant. Jessica had that glassy-eyed boozy look that I recognize from my own boozy days (ah, memories). She lost her balance in the few yards it took to get from the door of Craig’s to the door of her car. She also made a perfect drunkface as she got into the car, sticking out her tongue at the paps.
Jessica has always enjoyed her booze, and before she had her babies, she was well-known for liking to down several cocktails with her dinner. She talked about it a lot, how much she liked a Scotch on the rocks, or whatever else was around. I don’t think she’s much of a beer drinker, but she probably drinks wine. And heavy liquor. You know what’s remarkable? Jessica has never gotten a DUI. She gets sh-tfaced on the reg, but maybe she’s self-aware enough to know that she should never get behind the wheel. Good for her on that, at least.
Anyway, are you judging her? I’m not. I have no idea if she’s a raging alcoholic or if she’s merely a happy drunk/social drinker/whatever. I do think she looks like she’s been boozing a lot lately – those are a lot of empty calories in those cocktails, and I guess she’s not under contract with Weight Watchers anymore.

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Why did I click on this? Nostalgia.
Seriously, I thought I was back in 2003.
She must have watched DWTS and saw how great Vanessa looks while she still looks like Queen of the Trailer Park. No offense to those who may live in trailers, jk…lol
Oh I wonder if that played a part in her outing??
They’ve been divorced for over a decade, I doubt they are on the radar of one another at this point.
yeah, both have moved on with marriages and multiple children. I doubt they’re checking for each other anymore.
Oh you know she is hating this season of Dancing with the Stars!
Wow. She looks like a mini trailer park Mariah Carey. Bloat and too long extensions are not the friend of someone 5 feet tall.
OMG I know!!!!! I am super bloated today, and at 5 ft. tall, there’s nowhere to hide
I’m not judging her for being drunk. I’m judging that horrible orange spray tan, that hair, and choice of outfit.
Lol, it is quite a trashy look, and homegirl has so much damn money it’s ridiculous. She can afford a much better look all around.
Yup was going to comment on the make up.
thank you, she’s stuck in 2001. the worst part of it.
I am so over fake tan. It NEVER looks good. Why are white women painting themselves orange for god’s sake?
Just some white women. And men.
She looks soooo orange and so stupid. Definition of white trash gone orange.
I may sound harsh but i do hate alcohol. Shes not a kid, she should know better
But at least our leaders are dignified and don’t appear in front of the UN with orange tans.
The closest thing to a fake tan I’ve done is mix some of that light sally hanson airbrush legs with moisturizer… I don’t even use the full ‘dose’ of the lightest version of that stuff out of fear of being streaky and orange. I will say the slight tint on my legs looks better than the blinding white shade they normally are. My arms will freckle a bit and maybe have some semblance of color not seen on a corpse during summer – and giving my legs a slight tint looks less strange than the two different colors of limbs. But mainly I’m like death-like pale. Finding foundation is hard.
Why do women of color bleach and wear foundation way too light? who knows…
It’s her way of showing solidarity to 53 percent of her closest friends who voted for 45.
@clover/Jessica/Ashlee Oh for real? *eye roll*
Her shoes are noticeably too small. Maybe she needs to reconsider not have wide width shoes in her line.
Pretty bad pictures, but I’ve seen tons of drunk people looking worse in person and in pictures
Oh dear.
I’d like to give her a makeover.
lol she looks so tiny in that last picture. like she’s being picked up by the arm by a giant.
Poor thing. I think she’s got issues. I believe she’s genuinely a nice person with some talent and a lot of beauty but her life got away from her and she knows it. She needs a parent (or to start parenting herself).
I’d go for cocktails with her, she looks like a fun drunk.
Nah…..too messy. But she would make anyone next to her look good….lol
I am getting serious Anna Nicole vibes from these pics and I love it. No shade from me. Live your best life, Jess!
I wondered who,it was she reminded me of…
You mean Anna Nicole, who died at a young age from substance abuse? Okay.
@poorlitttlerichgirl: I REALLLY don’t think that Anna Nicole, who died young of a drug overdose after living as a serious drug addict for years, was “living her best life.” In fact, she was living one of the worst possible lives that a woman–or anyone–can live, one of lack of self awareness and sense of self worth, severe addiction, dramatic reversal of fortune and almost inevitable seeming tragedy. If she’s your idea of “living your best life,” then you have no idea what the term actually means.
hahaha oh Jessica! Eh no judgement but as soon as she sees these pics hopefully she reconsiders getting wasted with paparazzi nearby. I see pics from after a few too many drinks and I always try to remember what a bad look that is.
LOL I limited my alcohol while out in public when I drank, too. After a few, you can’t walk properly or talk properly and your mouth says the stupidest things.
Well, at least her husband looks amused and like he doesn’t mind taking care of her. I tend to hope they work out, even if he is her K-Fed.
I can’t help but like her, I don’t think she’s bad people by any stretch.
I’m less worried about her being drunk and more worried about her awful fashion choices lol
Always thought she was kind of adorable, and had great comedic timing with Nick Lashay on their tv show. She sure looks wasted in these shots.
Her husband reminds me of Tory Spelling’s husband.
That’s what I thought when I saw the pictures too! He looks just like Deam McDermott.
Heh. These pics make me like her. They remind me of me (minus the spray tan, but definitely with the belly coming out from under the shirt, LOL).
Without any other evidence, I’d just say she was having fun and tied one on that night. I do that once in a blue moon.
like my birthday one year, where I fast drank G&T for the buzz, didn’t realize just how much I actually drank. ended up sitting in a puddle after having to leave the bar because I was so drunk I couldn’t walk and got kicked out. My poor best friend had to call my BF (now husband) to come get me.
he wasn’t pleased I was wet from the puddle *sigh*
Not so sure, guys. My mother was an alcoholic and it was H E L L – even when she was sober (between 8 and 11 AM). I don’t like shitfaced moms.
I’m with you, Belle Epoch. I’m an alcoholic so there’s no judgement from me, but she drinks to get drunk it appears. She might be a fun drunk, but I bet the worm turns one day. It turned for me, and I’m damned lucky I quit when I did.
I agree. It’s one thing to get silly drunk in your early twenties, or at a bachelorette party or maybe New Years. This is a near middle aged mother who was presumably out for a romantic dinner with her husband, in a regular restaurant. Then she got loud, unruly and fall down drunk. That’s not normal, and yes, I’m judging, unlike many here.
The only thing that gives me pause is she has looked messy in public a lot lately but Idk. *shrug*
*shrug* She’s a grown adult, this isn’t a weekly thing, she wasn’t drunk at work, her husband seems amused instead of frustrated or pissed which leads me to think this isn’t an issue they’re dealing with… I like to get boozy too, I just do it in the privacy of my fire pit with my friends, after the kids go to bed.
Now, if we want to get snarky, I have a few thoughts on her styling…
Good point about husband being amused. I remember an uncomfortable picture of Katy Perry looking just like this, having a rollicking good time, with Russel Brand next to her looking annoyed as hell. Divorce was announced the next week.
Russell Brand is a teetotaler, who never liked his partners’ drinking. Eric here likes a party. You can see he’s not sober himself, silly grin and all. I wonder how much moneybags, I mean Jessica, would have to drink before he put his foot down.
You’re right. He’s not going to bite the hand that feeds him. He’ll just party hearty too. I hope it never goes completely off the rails for the whole family’s sake.
Jessica Simpson has been drunk multiple times “at work” recently. She was drunk on the Home Shopping Network and she was drunk on Ellen. The only time I hear about her is when her messiness goes public. And if that’s how she is in public, I would assume it’s the same or worse in private.
Omg, I saw that interview with Jess on Ellen. It was painful to watch, she wasn’t making any sense at all.
Oh, SHIT, I forgot about that. Well, that does give it some context…Hmmmm….
I was all prepared to defend her and then read this comment – and rewatched the Ellen bit. Totally aligned with your assessment. It’s a little scary.
Certainly not implying anyone who likes to have some fun round the fire pit is an alcoholic, so please don’t take what I’m about to say that way. I really am not, but you don’t need to drink weekly, daily or any other time frame to be an alcoholic. Some people can do that and not be alcoholics. Some people drink one or two times a year and are alcoholics.
It’s not frequency. It’s how you react to the alcohol that is the issue and I don’t care what people say, if you’re an alcoholic, deep down you know. I did, although it took me quite a while to quit because I really didn’t want to be what I knew I was.
This is true. My ex would “only” drink a couple of times a week, but once he started, he could. not. stop. Cue belligerence and embarrassing scenes. He would often complain about his alcoholic father, and was blind to his own issue. Hon, your blood wants out, and so did I.
bluhare, no offense taken. And there’s definitely a difference between having a few around the fire pit, or even getting silly drunk once in a while, and not having a meter for alcohol or an ability to stop once you start. I sincerely hope Jessica is more the first and less the second, but as someone pointed out above, she was drunk or seemed drunk on Ellen, and when it’s bleeding over in a way that impacts your professional life or your ability to function, I think there could be something further to discuss. None of us are in her life, but hopefully Eric can have those conversations if they’re necessary.
Thank you, LLGM. For what it’s worth I love being around *social* drinkers enjoying themselves; it’s bumps my mood up too, so I probably would love hanging round your fire pit!
I have fears Jessica isn’t quite like that, though, and it’s her kids I worry about. Her husband can take care of himself, although I think he likes her money a lot. There, I finally judged!!
Ankhel: exactly. God, it’s embarrassing to think back on who I was.
Bluhare, it takes a lot of honesty and strength to face one’s own demons. I hope your embarrassment over the past is soothed by pride in your great accomplishment. Best of luck going forwards.
I just saw her Ellen interview, and I think you are right. When I used to go out a lot I got drunk sometimes but, I never needed it or would have shown up on national television drunk much less anywhere else. I imagine she was plied with pots of coffee before and it shows in Ellen’s face how uncomfortable she feels.
Drinking is fun, and I love to have a few or even be a little tipsy at a party now and then, but this seems more than that.
I hope she gets a handle on it if that is the issue.
Whatever argument she had with Ken Paves, she needs to call him and take the first step in repairing their relationship. Man, him leaving really made a difference.
Agreed about Ken, but that hair could be fixed by a lot of hairdressers. I mean… the color, the extensions, the everything – all a big fat no.
She’s an adult woman who got drunk while she had people to help take care of her and was responsible enough to not be the driver. *shrugs* It’s not the most flattering look on a person, but it happens. Provided it’s not a consistent thing (i.e. alcoholism), I think her family will be fine.
I’m just thankful that I’m not famous because I’ve definitely had nights when my legs stopped working and I didn’t even drink more than a few drinks, either–sometimes alcohol can do that.
But yeah I agree that as long as it’s not a regular thing, I’m not judging.
I don’t have the time or lifestyle that allows for regular drinking anymore, so I’ve gotten pretty unintentionally drunk once or twice with friends because I didn’t realize my tolerance had gone down so significantly. It’s somewhat embarrassing the next day, but what can you do? She didn’t get behind the wheel of a car, and she wasn’t publicly sick, so damage wasn’t too severe.
It happens, but it tends to happen a lot with her. Fall around drunk on a Tuesday night with kids in school? Keep it classy, lady.
When she was CBS Sunday Morning a few weeks ago, she seemed off. I don’t think she was drunk, but I think there might be some prescription drug abuse going on.
That orange tan isn’t helping the bad makeup situation.
She might need lower doses. She’s not very big. Doctors don’t always take proper account of size differences and individual tolerances.
You’d be shocked how often doctors don’t take that into account. Took FOREVER to get some of my meds set up correctly because they were going off ‘average’ American women size… who are 5’6-5’8 and supposedly 150lb and I’m a few inches over 6 feet and weigh (cough) a bit more. Same deal in the opposite direction for my mother in law – they had her taking enough pain killers to knock someone the size of my husband (a 5’10 power lifter at 400lb+) sideways and she is 4’6! It’s a major reason she is essentially a prescription opiate addict and doctors are now desperately trying to get a 76 year old woman down to ‘reasonable’ doses after 50 YEARS of major prescription malfeasance. A lot of meds can go screwy with even a single drink and if she isn’t dosed correctly to her size she could honestly not realize the problems and interactions. (If you are told a med ‘might’ make you drowsy or a bit loopy you might not think you are actually wasted) Her rapid weight changes can play merry hell with prescriptions and drinks too. What you might tolerate at 200lb can knock you ass over teakettle at 120!
Getting shitcanned at a regular dinner on a Wednesday night… she’s not 25, she’s got two little kids at home, it’s not a wedding or a party or her birthday, it’s a dinner with hubby on a Wednesday.
If you’re seeing this in public, just imagine what’s going on behind closed doors. It’s probably not good.
I had to look up her age…37?! Where has the time gone?
I agree, but I’m not going to judge. I’m going to hope she figures it out one day.
I’m sure I read on a different article that it was HIS birthday…
She crossed the line and it’s pathetic. She needs to get it together. Maybe stay on the sofa at home next time with that glass of wine?
Think about it. She works for herself, so she prob. has a pretty chill schedule. She prob. has a nanny and, of course, a maid. She has a lot of free time, fame, money – it’s prob. hard not to get drunk frequently. That being said, seems like pics of her staggering out of bars and restaurants are pretty common, so there may be an issue with alcohol here. And she may have been drinking while she got dressed!
Agree. Every interview I’ve seen she seems impaired in some way regardless of the time of day. I’d place bets on a pill deal acquired after all the post baby surgery work done. Bless her heart!
At least N Lachey hustles work. Her husband doesn’t appear to even fake some sort of “project” work. I wonder how that gravy train thing impacts their power dynamic??? I can see it working to have it not matter….but it seems like on some level of you are running a giant company and your partner is basically a manny how it would maybe get to you on some level.
Jessica needs to grow up! She is now a mother, NOT some drunk 20 year old college student.
NOTHING is funny about this. She clearly has a problem with alcohol.
It is very pathetic and sad and IF she does not get help she will end up like Anna Nicole Smith.
She’s got Mae West written all over her.
A few years ago I would have said whatever, it’s her life, she’s not hurting anyone. But as someone who struggles with alcoholic in laws and as the mother of a small child I seriously hope she gets her act together. I personally don’t think children should have to witness an adult being this drunk. If she let’s her kids see her in this state she is setting a horrible example.
She was so pretty when she first became famous. She looks larger than life here (but tiny at the same time, like a munchkin. How short is she?)
I normally love the tan look, but this tan doesn’t look real. Too orange. Not flattering.
However, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her going out and having a drink every now and then. She’s an adult out on a date night with her husband! Do you not know of people who drink socially? As long as someone is looking after her kids for the evening, and she’s not getting drunk at home in front of them, let her live! The mom shamers are too crazy.
I’d be inclined to agree with you were she not a celebrity. The problem is that she goes out and gets trashed and pics like this happen. The internet is forever and no teenager should be able to look back at pics of mom wasted, forever immortalized online. Even worse for the kids’ friends to see this.
Maybe the trick is if she feels like getting sloppy once in a while, do it in a safe space–like home for instance–where paps can’t get their snaps in.
Kitten, I disagree. The problem with someone, and especially a parent, finding it hard to turn up all sorts of places sober, is not whether or not others see it. It’s that they probably has an addiction, with all that entails.
That’s a good point @Kitten. I guess if she wants to enjoy a few drinks, it would be better to do it at a friends house or party where there will be no one snapping photos for all to see. I do think she deserves a night out every now and again to let relax and do adult things. I don’t think this makes her a bad mom, as some others have suggested. I guess part of the downside of being famous is having these embarrassing moments captured and held up for criticism.
@ Ankhel-She has come forward and said she’s an addict? If so, then yes I would agree that’s a bigger problem. But if this is just people speculating that she has a drinking problem, then no I won’t call her an addict because I’m not in the habit of armchair-diagnosing people I don’t know. JMO.
@ Tim H- ITA that moms deserve a break like all of us. Also agree about the OTT Mommy-Shaming Brigade.
Kitten, have you not read this thread? Jessica has repeated
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