Jerking Small Boy Dick

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10 Celebrity Men Who Are Known For Having Small Penises
10 Celebrity Men Who Are Known For Having Small Penises
Say what you want about the "motion of the ocean," but when it comes to certain body parts, bigger is usually better. (Just ask these famous fellas!)
However, having a small penis doesn't necessarily doom a man to a lame sex life. In fact, according to NY Post, one of the world's most swaggering lady-killers, Mick Jagger, was totally called out by his band-mate Keith Richards for having a "tiny dodger." (That would be slang for a "small penis," for those of us not fluent in Cockney.)
Surprisingly, Mick isn't the only guy in Hollywood walking around with a small penis (yep, plenty of small penises to go 'round).
Say, it ain't so!? Does Brad Pitt really have a small penis? 
According to his ex-girlfriend, Juliette Lewis, sleeping with Brad in the 1990s was no "big" deal, she told fans at a concert, with extra emphasis on the "big" part.
Even Brad's BFF, George Clooney, once slapped a "Small Penis Onboard" sticker onto the side of Brad's car.
But that's most definitely some type of joke (er, misunderstanding?), right? Right?!?!?
Thanks to the work of one sneaky paparazzo back in 2005, we didn't have to rely on hearsay to determine whether or not Jude Law's penis is small after catching a glimpse.
Thanks to those NSFW photos that surfaced, we were able to evaluate Jude's penis size for ourselves.
Even if Shia LaBeouf hadn't admitted to Playboy that he wasn't "extremely well-endowed," we probably would have figured it out on our own.
No man who wears a large size condom would have thrown a cup of coffee at a photographer on the street and then run away without explanation.
Beware of the scorned ex-girlfriend, ye men of small penises!
Jon Gosselin's ex, Hailey Glassman, got back at him by telling the whole world what Kate Gosselin already knew: that Jon's penis was "tiny, tiny, tiny!"
Although, Kate was slightly more generous when she referred to her ex's penis as "stubby."
Ohh the things we women do to stroke a man's ego — no matter how small.
According to sources, Daniel Craig used a penis body double for his nude scenes in Casino Royale! Did his real-life teenie-weenie not measure up to the "James Bond" ideal?
Ten years ago, singer Enrique Iglesias admitted to having a small penis, but then he took it back — so, is he big or small?
We guess only his girlfriend Anna Kournikova knows the true size of Enrique's penis.
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Although Em may rap as well as any other well-known rapper, evidently, he's not as well-endowed as most. "If you’re going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work," ranted his ex-wife Kim Mathers.
Jessica Simpson's virginity pledge may not have been worth the wait, as Nick Lachey's small penis evidently did not impress the singer on their wedding night.
In 2006 (following their split) she revealed, "Nick Lachey didn’t pack too well if you know what I mean, but I got over it."
Geez, Jessica, we hope your new husband, Eric Johnson, is more well-endowed.
Back in 2008 on the Letterman show, the late Brittany Murphy joked about her relationship with Ashton Kutcher and his (now) ex-wife Demi Moore, saying, "I suppose the crux of their relationship basically means to him that age doesn't matter, and to her size doesn't matter."
Kutcher never denied (or rebutted) the accusations — gotta say — we admire his confidence. And ugh... class. 
Apparently, not even the likes of a Hogwart's wizard has enough talent to fix a major (or minor) problem like this — so it may come as a surprise that our favorite Hogwart's star was forced to, sadly, blame his small wand on "shrinkage" upon shooting full frontal for Equus.
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Jerking Small Boy Dick