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The cover of Secrets of the Jedi , an old EU short story collection dedicated to Those Times Jedi Boned. Image : David Mattingly and Keirsten Geise ( Scholastic )
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Siri, as she appeared as a Jedi Master, well after her brief romantic tryst with Obi-Wan came to an end. Image : Tommy Lee Edwards ( Del Rey )
Qui-Gon and Tahl on a variant cover of the Dark Horse-era comic series Star Wars: Jedi—The Dark Side. Image : Stéphane Roux ( Dark Horse/Marvel )
Asajj and Quinlan on the cover of Dark Disciple . Image : Matt Taylor and Scott Biel ( Del Rey )
Etain meets her future husband for the first time. Image : Chris Trevas ( Del Rey )
Bastila, just after it’s implied that she and Revan got some sexy times in. Image : Bioware
The Male Jedi Knight and Kira begin their relationship, which eventually can become a secret marriage. Image : Bioware
Arguably the most influential boner on this list. Image : Lucasfilm
Look, they made him kiss his sister TWICE in these movies. Give Luke a break. Image : Lucasfilm
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The Jedi Order has long been an establishment of hypocrisy . It’s what le d to its undoing across generations of its existence multiple times. Its hubris is what brings about the fall of Anakin Skywalker and its destruction in the Star Wars movies . One such hypocrisy? Those infamously loveless warrior monks sure did have a lot of sex.
The conflicting ideas of the Jedi Order’s establishment of the very idea of “attachment” has long been up for debate. In the past, George Lucas has said that the Jedi weren’t celibate —it was just very specifically the concept of love, and long-term attachments to a person, that the Jedi Order forbade its members from engaging in. That has consistently thrown up a lot of questions (because Star Wars fans love nothing but talking about, well, jizz ?) about where the limit lies. Especially given that Star Wars as a movie saga, and the Order’s downfall, is predicated on keeping an intimate relationship secret.
It’s finally upon us: The Rise of Skywalker is here. If you’ve had the chance to see it, the Star…
Is there such a thing as sex that doesn’t, on even a minute level, constitute forming an attachment to a partner? How much is too much for the Jedi? Is there a limit, a hierarchy, to the sexy times? Which one of these crusty old robe-wearing grognards is on the committee that decides that limitation, anyway? And have they ever had sex?
With the release of The Rise of Skywalker , and the lingering questions of whether or not the Order as it was should even come back in the first place—and the potential for romance between its heroes and villains —we thought we’d look back at whether a few Jedi, in the old canon or current, defied one of the Order’s many hypocrisies and absolutely, unequivocally, boned.
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So, here’s the fun thing: in the old Expanded Universe, there was literally an entire novel dedicated to basically going “Hey, you know those Jedi you like in the prequels? They totally fucked .” It’s hilarious. A junior novel penned by Jude Watson, Secrets of the Jedi told three different short stories about Anakin (who of course, we’ll get to later), Qui-Gon Jinn, and Obi-Wan Kenobi, revolving around secret romances they had. And, most interestingly here, the latter two were relationships with other Jedi .
Let’s start with Obi-Wan, who fell in love with a fellow apprentice, Siri Tachi (the padawan of Jedi Master Adi Gallia, who Obi-Wan would serve on the Council with...a wkward!). With Qui-Gon and Adi going on missions together, Obi-Wan and Siri spent plenty of time with each other, with their friendly rivalry eventually blossoming into feelings for each other. The two acknowledged their love after a particularly dangerous mission to rescue a young child from bounty hunters but immediately decided to put their love aside, telling the council about their attachment and moving on from it. Obi-Wan would eventually drift away from Siri, who went off on her own path (including a period of time away from the Order which, because they’re a bunch of assholes, convinced Obi-Wan and his fellow Jedi that was because Siri had betrayed them, but it was in fact part of an elaborate undercover mission).
But even if Siri was Obi-Wan’s first love, it’s heavily implied that he had a much more involved relationship not in the old EU, but in the current canon. Clone Wars established that a young Obi-Wan had a secret romantic relationship with Satine Kryze, the future Duchess of Mandalore. Just as with Siri, Obi-Wan developed feelings for Satine while on a mission with her, protecting her from assassination attempts—but once Satine was returned to Mandalore, Obi-Wan ended their relationship, choosing to stay with the Order. When they eventually reunite as adults during the events of the show, Obi-Wan even tells Satine that, if she had asked him, he would’ve abandoned the Order to stay with her. That charming devil!
Really, Obi-Wan was only taking after his master. Secrets of the Jedi also delved into the romantic relationship Qui-Gon had with a fellow Jedi named Tahl, an important character throughout the Jedi Apprentice series of novels. A Noorian who came to the Order at the age of six (which was considered an advanced age for an inductee), Tahl shared a path through the Order alongside Qui-Gon as apprentices, Padawans, and eventually Knights. The two established a close bond that eventually blossomed into romantic feelings for each other.
The two mostly kept it flirty for much of their lives, but after Tahl (now not only a Master, but blinded during a previous mission and moved to the Archives as a Jedi Librarian) went on an undercover mission that saw her investigating an attempted coup on New Apsolon, she was captured and eventually tortured. This lead to Qui-Gon, despite council orders, going after her. They reunited, but Tahl’s captivity had left her near death. With him at her side, Qui-Gon and Tahl “pledged their lives to each other”—with the implication of potential consummation—before she eventually passed away, a loss so painful it nearly set Qui-Gon on a path with the Dark Side.
In either canon, Vos’ brushes with the Dark Side as a double agent for the Republic lead to him developing romantic attachments. As a trainee in the old EU, he had a romance with a fellow Padawan, Shylar, but called it off, with the two eventually tragically crossing paths once more in the Clone Wars while Vos was on his deep undercover mission as an alleged Jedi traitor.
In Dark Disciple —a Disney-canon novel adapted from unused scripts for the Clone Wars animated series—during Vos’ time as an undercover agent tasked with assassinating Count Dooku (yeah, very Jedi move, that! God, once again: they’re hypocrites!), he developed a close relationship with Asajj Ventress, first as allies and eventually as lovers.
Saved, the Clone Wars are! The shocking news from Comic-Con that the beloved animated series would…
In fact, Vos briefly succumbed to the Dark Side after failing to assassinate Dooku, when the latter revealed Ventress’ responsibility for the death of Vos’ Jedi Master, Tholme, shattering his trust in their relationship in the process.
A major character in the excellent Republic Commando novels, Etain was a Jedi Knight at the height of the Clone Wars, who fought alongside the titular Commandos of Omega and Delta Squad. Eventually, she fell in love with one of the troopers, Darman, and the two consummated their relationship on Coruscant while on an assignment together. Etain became pregnant with Darman’s child during this, and eventually gave birth in secret to a son named Venku.
Etain originally decided to leave Venku to be raised on Mandalore with Darman’s adoptive people, because the Jedi would never accept her relationship, let alone one with a subordinate in the Grand Army of the Republic—but, feeling her code of ethics and the declining morality of the Jedi Council were at a divergence, she ultimately decided to formally leave the Order to raise her son with Darman. Awww...well, that is, until she died fleeing Coruscant in the wake of Order 66 that is. Womp, womp.
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