Jeans Worship

Jeans Worship

Worship Leaders With Ripped Jeans Show Significantly Higher Levels Of Authenticity, Study Finds

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Dec 16, 2016 · BabylonBee.com

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U.S. - According to a brand-new, peer-reviewed study published in The Christian Journal Of Worship Science, worship leaders who wear ripped, shredded, or otherwise irreparably altered jeans have shown a tendency to have much higher levels of genuineness and raw, real authenticity.
The findings, revealed Friday, confirm what worship leader experts had long thought.
"We'd theorized for years that exposing vast swathes of one's own skin on the upper thighs, knees, and calves had to have some kind of correlation with just how legit a worship pastor is," Dr. Wesley R. Ross of Harvard University told reporters Friday. "Now we have solid evidence - baring one's legs is a sign of baring one's very soul. Most intriguing."
Nationwide, worship leaders were unsurprised by the report.
"I totally called it," local worship leader Jeremiah "Master Chief" Peterson told reporters as he picked at his skinny jeans, attempting to enlarge the holes near his left kneecap. "I see my jeans as representative of the mask we all hide behind, you know? The real me is underneath."
At publishing time, researchers had begun a new study attempting to find a correlation between authenticity in pastors and preaching off cafe tables rather than pulpits.
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We don’t have to dress like Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse when going to church, but isn’t something other than shabby chic appropriate?
There it was — right in The Wall Street Journal . Daniel Akst, a writer in New York’s Hudson Valley, apparently got fed up with it and spilled his mind out in an opinion piece to the WSJ:
The “it” is denim . “Never has a single fabric done so little for so many,” he wrote.
“Denim is hot, uncomfortable and uniquely unsuited to people who spend most of their waking hours punching keys instead of cows. It’s time denim was called on the carpet, for its crimes are legion. Denim is an essential co-conspirator in the modern trend toward undifferentiated dressing, in which we all strive to look equally shabby no matter what the occasion.
“Despite its air of innocence, no fabric has ever been so insidiously effective at undermining national discipline,” he wrote. Or, dare we say, Sunday church attire.
Now I don’t know if Mr. Akst regularly goes to church and especially to a community church, but he’d be absolutely outraged if he did so these days.
For where are blue jeans worn most proudly but in church? On the platform. Behind the podium. Among the worship team and backup singers.
Denim and church are two words that now go together — the denim church. Where is our pride in serving our Lord? Isn’t dressing better a way of honoring Him?
Where did this fashion trend begin? Certainly not at Willow Creek Community Church, where Bill Hybels is usually outfitted in business casual and a preppy look. Probably not even Rick Warren does the blue jeans thing. (And on his “trademark” shirts, Warren says: “I haven’t worn a Hawaiian shirt in two years. I don’t even own one.”)
Sure, both preachers and their legions would say: “Come as you are. Your warm body is more important than what you are covering it with,” but can’t we expect better from those who lead us?
Somewhere along the way down church lane preachers and music leaders wanted to be sure that nothing separated them from the unsaved and unchurched — and that included dress. Alas, blue jeans became the cloth of choice, the conversion fabric — church shabby chic, if you will.
Now no one would ever put syndicated columnist George Will in blue jeans, but Daniel Akst’s article stirred Will to produce his own views. He suggests that “For men, sartorial good taste can be reduced to one rule: If Fred Astaire would not have worn it, don’t wear it. For women, substitute Grace Kelly.”
Well, okay, George is an old fuddy-duddy, conservative in every way. (Maybe this writer too.) This country isn’t going back to the days of dressing with class, even if we still enjoy the moves of Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse in those classic movies.
But church ? I wince when a pastor wears ragged jeans. Often torn, with fringes at the bottom. Hasn’t anyone at least heard of Dockers? And there are the backup singers who might have flip flops on their feet — if anything.
The pastors of today don’t want to set an example higher than what the unchurched think of themselves, and heaven forbid if they asked something of God’s people that might honor Him. Dave Browning (who wears jeans to church) of Christ The King Church in Washington State writes that “the average person in America owns eight pairs of blue jeans, so I consider them to be the least common denominator of fashion.” (E-mail me below for a copy of “The Pastor in Blue Jeans” that was anonymously placed in his offering bucket.)
Christian merchandisers are no example either. There is a company called 316 Jeans that is lasering scriptures on high-quality denim these days. “The fitted, handmade Diesel Denim cotton used for the jeans has detailing and is vintaged,” reports Christian Retailing on one product. “The front, right hip pocket includes the lasered Bible reference, and the written-out Bible verse or saying is lasered down the middle of the left front leg.”
No, you don’t need to be dressed to “the nines” to attend church — or preach from the pulpit — but I’d settle for the sixes or sevens.
It is sad and really pathetic that Church pastors..worship team members think they have to look like the world! Especially in leadership..pastors should set themselves apart and dress in at least a dress shirt and tie..preferably a suit! This should not be taken as a criticism..only an observation! In Jesus name, Ken Howell

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While much of the Internet is filled with ridiculous listicles, joke stories and various types of tomfoolery, we at RELEVANT have decided to take the high road.
Instead, we’ve elected to run a valuable piece of journalism and insight to edify and enlighten our readers: After months of research, investigation and study, we’ve uncovered an issue that the Church must reckon with: Our team of reporters and theologians has finally been able to determine what your pastor’s jeans say about their theology.

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This pastor’s sermons are likely filled with lots of cool, overly elaborate illustrations and clips from Braveheart , but this motorcycle-driving cool guy is likely theologically conservative (despite what his be-dazzled denim would have you believe). Like his jeans, his messages are flashy, but not too flashy.

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Unless the holes in the jeans are only found on the knees—a sign of a jeans-wearing prayer warrior—this pastor’s messages are likely similar to his pant choice: NOT APPROPRIATE FOR SUNDAY MORNING.

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Sure, they may not be as fashionable as they once were, but Jesus was a carpenter, so this pastor is probably pretty solid.

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Back in the ’90s, this minister was likely the coolest youth pastor in town. However, his choice of jeans is an indication he has not moved on from his 1994 Aquire the Fire heyday, and that his preferred method of outreach is probably still free ska concerts in the sanctuary. He has frequently wondered why attendance is dropping.

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This individual is clearly a heretic. Run from this church.

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Your pastor does not care about what other people think if they are wearing overalls in the pulpit. In some ways, this can be a positive trait and a sign of a strong leader. But at some point, accountability from more fashionable elders should take place.

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If your pastor is not actually some sort of ranch hand and is wearing bootcut jeans for fashion reasons, not practical ones, then they may be prone to trendy church movements and lack the substance and self-assurance of some teachers. Either that, or they just like Old Navy.

Comfortable. Practical. Can be used in all occasions. We’re not just talking about the jeans, we’re talking about the sermons from these denim wearers. Expect a lot of messages based on a quick seven points or some sort of acronym.

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Watch out for these hipster, tight-jean wearing youngsters. They’re probably reading a Rob Bell book and listening to secular music.

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There is no good reason for button fly jeans to exist. Zippers are perfectly adequate. What’s this pastor trying to prove, anyway? They are also likely a heretic.

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The blazer, jeans, black shoe combination has long been the unofficial dress code of aspiring evangelical megachurch pastors.
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Jesse Carey is a mainstay on the weekly RELEVANT Podcast and member of RELEVANT's executive board. He lives in Virginia Beach with his wife and two kids.
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