Jealous Step-Mom Needs Son's Giant Cock
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Jealous Step-Mom Needs Son's Giant Cock
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Television
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Goldie Hawn spilled the tea on her son's manhood on "Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen" in hilarious detail.
The "Snatched" actress and costar Amy Schumer were guests on the Bravo series Thursday night, when the host asked about Oliver Hudson's bare booty Instagram photos .
While most mothers might avoid the question, Hawn proved she's not like regular moms -- she's a cool mom -- and not only talked about his behind, but took it a step further.
"I laughed so hard. That guy makes me laugh. Doesn't he have a gorgeous tuchus?" Hawn said with a laugh. "When I had him circumcised, the doctor said, 'You'll be happy to know I had to get a bigger clamp.' A bigger clamp! Of course, I was crying too, because I knew he was going to cry."
"It was a double edge sword, so to speak," she added. "This isn't televised, right?"
Oliver wasn't the only one of her children Hawn was asked about during the show, as a caller also wanted to know what she thought about daughter Kate Hudson dating Nick Jonas.
"As long as the kids are having fun, I don't care," she revealed. "He's a very nice guy, a good person."
When asked if she ever cooked him dinner, Hawn said she hadn't ... but "would have, if it lasted long enough!"
While Hawn was game for anything, Schumer had a hard time playing Plead the Fifth. She easily answered Cohen's first question, but avoided the final two.
Up first: "What's the rudest thing you've done in the bedroom?"
"Well it was when I saw that a guy had an uncircumcised penis and it was too big and I went, 'Peace!'" she replied. "I was like, I'm not going to be deformed because I had sex with you once. That's what 'Get Out' should have been about!"
She was then asked to play a round of Shag, Marry, Kill with a trio of male comedy mentors -- Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock and Louis CK -- and to reveal the most "offensive or bizarre thing a male comedian has said" to her.
Hawn and Schumer's film, "Snatched" is now playing in theaters.
Posted on May 13, 2016
- By
MommyNoire Editor
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
There is no visual more horrifying for me than catching my child in the middle of a sexual act in our home.
My son has a beautiful girlfriend who I adore. They have been dating for a while, and I understand how it is to be a 21-year-old with raging hormones. But the rule in this house is NO SEX AT ALL…and that includes me (unless I’m married). There is another rule: no drugs under this roof. This is the second time I caught my son and his girlfriend in the act. I lost my mind and threatened to throw everyone out for not obeying the rules. I was so upset at the blatant disrespect of his actions that I needed to leave my house and cool off, so I wouldn’t end up doing bodily harm to someone!
Sexual behavior can be animalistic and reckless or done with feelings of love, longevity and respect. I realized that I didn’t have a conversation with my son about which way he views sex and felt a conversation was in order. I am not the “cool mom.” I am not going to put condoms in a jar and allow girls to come “hang out” with him in his room. I am more of the if-you-have-time-to-hang-out-then-you-have-time-for-work-and-school mom. I am not comfortable knowing that my son is having sex in his room. Nope…can’t do it.
I called him into my room the next day to find out why he made this poor decision once again. This is how the conversation went:
“First off, I wanted to apologize for the way I behaved yesterday towards you and your girlfriend. I said many things I meant, but I shouldn’t have said them out loud. As a parent I have to show restraint even in difficult times, because I would want you to think before you speak. Ok?” I said. He looked shocked and slowly shook his head
“Is this a joke? You are apologizing to me because I broke the rules?” he said.
“No I am apologizing for the way I behaved regardless of the situation. I can’t allow you to take me to a place where I am out of control. Speaking of control, are you in love with your girlfriend?”
“I don’t know, I guess so, maybe,” he responded.
“Let me explain something to you about the responsibility of having sex. I understand that you want to get it on and be very physical due to your hormones raging out of control. But most women see sex differently than men. Your girlfriend loves you; she was still googly-eyed yesterday while I was cussing you both out. She traveled over here to see you and displayed every action indicating she is very interested in you. If you are having sex with her without your heart in it, then do her a favor and stop immediately.”
“What do you mean my heart, Mom? What are you talking about?” he said.
“Women take men “IN” we hold you FIRM and try not to let you go. Do you understand that statement? Women are sensitive creatures who, for the most part, have a direct connection between the vagina and their heart. It is your responsibility as a man to spend your time with those you want to really spend your time with. I don’t want you being a man just slinging your thing at every hole that comes your way. It is irresponsible and it hurts women. It hurts us to know that we have let you “IN” yet, you never wanted to be there for more than that moment. Sex should couple emotion and love; it should be done with thought. I hope you are thinking about her heart, or anyone else’s for that matter, before you give them your penis.”
His attitude during the conversation went from laughing nervously to being pensive. Then he said, “I love her, but I didn’t tell her yet.”
“Ok, well, if you love her, treat her with kindness and use thought. Please don’t be a man whore. I will be disappointed if I spent all this time acting like Mother Teresa around you to find out you are an ultimate whore.”
“Mom, OKAY. I understand; I got you. I am not all over the place; it’s not my way, Not everyone can get this.” He said as he walked away
It was the first conversation I had with him about feelings and what to do with them and how to manage them with sex. He is 21. After I spoke to him, I felt like this should have been something I spoke about all along as I do with my daughter. Raising thoughtful young men who are sexually responsible creates men who have a slimmer chance of treating women like a pieces of meat. In a perfect world, he would take that information and be the best boyfriend/husband the world has ever seen, full of compassion and romantic gestures, sweetly in love with his partner. That is what I wish for him.
What do you think about your children having sex in your house? What message are you sending to them while allowing them freedom to express and grow? I would love to know!
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Posted on December 11, 2014
- By
Rich
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
Here we go again. When a picture of a mom and son in the bathtub with her son made its way around social media, the internet went crazy. Words like inappropriate, child pornography, and abuse infiltrated the comment sections of Facebook posts and forced everyone to hit the share button and call this mom out on her actions. And those who did not have as much of a problem with her in the bathtub with her son had a problem with someone taking the photo and posting. Let the judgment begin.
So the first question a lot of people probably asked was the age of the boy. He looked to be at least four or five, but it’s hard to say what his exact age is. Now, unfortunately for “tubmom,” in order for this behavior to have been acceptable by internet mafia standards, said boy should have been no older than two for her not to be condemned for her actions. Not to mention, from the looks of the photos, they both looked cramped and there wasn’t enough room for them to properly bathe. So not only were they inappropriate to everyone, there was a chance they were both not even fully washed. But I digress.
Seriously though, we can’t continue to think we can tell other parents how to raise their kids, or decide the decency line for everyone else. To each his own.
As long as there is no harm done to the child, there shouldn’t be any real issue. Like many others, I saw more harm done by posting the photo.
We know the type of backlash something like this could get so this was a bad decision by tubmom or the anonymous photographer (maybe dad?). Truthfully, I highly doubt there was anything inappropriate going on, and it really did just look like she was taking a bath with her child. The exposed boob that was covered was probably a bit much. But hasn’t this woman learned that social media is the devil?
Admittedly, I have taken a bath with all of my kids at some point up until they were about two. Not because I wanted them to infiltrate the only time that I had alone, but because it just seemed like the only way I could preserve time back then. I know a lot of moms who do this. As the kids become more aware of things and get curious about body parts, it makes things uncomfortable. So it eventually stops. For some, it stops a little later. For me, two was the age where it felt as if they could start remembering these things. Therefore, since society (and my husband) deemed it inappropriate, I made sure to stop. By three years old, I actually started locking the bathroom door. They bang on the door until I get out of the tub and unlock it so they can ask me something that could have waited. My seven-year-old has now figured out how to take a penny and turn the bathroom lock to make her way in. I say all this to say that no matter how hard I have tried to cover up or shield them from my own nakedness, they have caught a glimpse here and there. They usually don’t even think twice about it. I yell at them to shut the door. They don’t. Instead, I’m left exposed in the tub with a cold draft. It’s inevitable.
No one wants to scar their kids with visions of naked adults, but it’s not as uncommon as the comments on tubmom’s photos would have you believe. What is uncommon is posting a photo like that. Now that the photo has made its way onto everyone’s timelines, there’s a smh type feeling. Judgment awaits.
Is it a little weird? Kinda. Inappropriate? Maybe. Should she have posted it on the internet for the world to see? Absolutely not.
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