Japan Ass Hole

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Japan Ass Hole
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ES

Eva Sandoval shares her tips on how to avoid having a Japanese schoolkid give you an embarrassingly intimate gift.
People say that being targeted as the recipient of kancho is a mark of acceptance among Japanese schoolchildren. That’s sweet; I’d still rather get a box of chocolates.
You drop a flashcard behind the desk and instinctively bend down to get it – KANCHO. Your students bring you candy so you let down your guard – KANCHO.
If you scream, she will have won. If you ignore it, she will only do it again.
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I WAS ELEVEN YEARS OLD, growing up in Florida, and my fifth grade teacher was the toad-like and perpetually pissy Mrs N.
Once, on a field trip to Tallahassee, I was perched alone on a bus seat when Mrs N came scowling down the aisle. The bus jerked, and Mrs N stumbled and fell onto the empty space next to me… right on my hand. She didn’t seem to notice, and ground her warm, blubbery cheeks onto my fingers. I began to sweat, beyond repulsed. Finally – like a wolf in a trap gnawing its caught leg – I yanked my paw free from her ass. Mrs N snapped her head around to face me, her eyes giant with scorn. She got up. She sat in a different seat. I never looked her in the eye again. And I never forgot the atrocity of that moment: her old ass, my innocent hand.
So when – fifteen years later, as I was preparing to move to Japan to teach ESL – a friend suggested I read a blog called The Gaijin Chronicles , I was flabbergasted to learn about kancho . I hesitate to explain this – no one ever believes me – but here goes:
Kancho is a common schoolchild prank in Japan. Schoolchild A clasps his or her hands together so that his (or her) index fingers point outward, and then sticks said index fingers into the unsuspecting anus of Schoolchild B. Also? Sometimes Schoolchild B is not a schoolchild. Sometimes Schoolchild B is an ESL teacher.
Now look. I’m the bi-racial child of immigrants and have lived in four countries ; I am down with the cultural relativity. But I will never understand what could make children want to touch their teacher’s ass, let alone penetrate it with their fingers. Leave a tack on your teacher’s seat. Put Visine in her coffee. Throw her overboard and listen to her scream. But your fingers in her ass? Back in my day, we didn’t want to know our teachers even had asses. No , I told myself, while packing up my apartment, kancho can’t be real .
Seriously , I told myself while riding the Osaka Loop Line to my first day of class, there’s no way a kid would ever want to get near their teacher’s ass .
Kancho, as I’ve had to explain to many horrified friends and relatives, is real. It’s not about sex; the chief elements of kancho are surprise and fear. It’s simple childhood fun, and while you are teaching English in your Japanese city of choice, kancho will be part of the student behavior buffet.
To reiterate: It’s not enough that you actually have to teach; you have to dodge fingers up the butt as well.
People say that being targeted as the recipient of kancho is a mark of acceptance among Japanese schoolchildren. That’s sweet; I’d still rather get a box of chocolates. For those of you who’d rather encourage alternative means of “acceptance,” here is how to protect your ass in a Japanese classroom.
Rule number one for keeping your nether region innocent is to discourage all potential intruders. (Ladies, some of you may remember your mother teaching you this technique in Save it for Marriage 101 .) The easiest way to do this is to face front at all times. Smart ESL teachers in Japan learn how to walk and write on a board backwards – face front, write with your arm swung out to the side, and move across the board like a turtle on its back. Smart ESL teachers keep all of their materials in front of them, so they don’t have to turn their backs for a second.
It may be tempting to play with your Japanese children – they are, after all, deceptively cute and silly. But beware of courting violence. I once tempted a kancho attack by asking my five-year-old students what costumes they planned to wear for our Halloween lesson. Sassy young Miho said she planned to be Belle from Beauty and the Beast . She’d been annoying me all lesson so I attempted revenge: “Sorry, Miho, but I’m already dressing up as Belle. You’ll have to be the Beast.” She shrieked in outrage and lunged toward my groin but – natch – I was facing her so she made do with yanking my shirt open. How to protect your hooters from Japanese children? That’s a different story, but you can start by not having such, ahem, rage-inducingly attractive ones, like me. And it’s probably not wise to taunt a five year-old when you’re an adult.
Japanese children tend to plot in pairs, and since they think you – a foreigner – don’t understand them, they’ll plot right in front of you. If you’re not planning to learn Japanese while living in Japan, then at the very, very least learn the Japanese words for “teacher” and “kancho.” That is, sensei and kancho . (Fun fact: kancho is the Japanese medical term for enema.)
Fellow teachers with high levels of Japanese reported thwarting attacks this way. Sean-sensei overheard his students say: “Why don’t we kancho Sean-sensei?” – BUSTED. More disturbingly, Bob-sensei was overseeing a holiday crafts project when he overheard his student say: “Look, I have a pair of scissors. I will kancho Bob-sensei with them!” I don’t think I could make a stronger case for learning Japanese while teaching ESL in Japan.
By the way, the Japanese word for scissors is hasami . Pencil? Enpitsu . Knife? Naifu . You have been warned.
During your time as an ESL teacher in Japan, you’ll come to know your students well, and hopefully learn to recognize the look of Kancho Intent. You’ll see it in the creeping eyes, sly and impish. You’ll notice a set of little hands drifting close together, fingers intertwining. Lots of whispering and crafty looks in your direction might mean the kids are making fun of your holey socks… or that a kancho attack is imminent. The highly evolved ESL teacher might also learn to sense a tension in the air behind them – a gathering of tremendous power. Sly like a ninja, cut like a razor blade? For the love of Pete, turn around!
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, kancho happens anyway. You drop a flashcard behind the desk and instinctively bend down to get it – KANCHO. Your students bring you candy so you let down your guard – KANCHO. What is there to say? You chose to be awesome. You chose to wear form-fitting pants. You chose to turn your back. This is entirely your fault.
So what next? Japanese attitudes towards finger-driven assault are different than those in the West. Therefore, you will not drag your assailant out of the classroom by the ear and deliver him to the hands of the school director. Why? Because kancho is just a prank – why you ESL teachers always got to be bugging?
I had a young student who enjoyed spanking me every chance she got – a light love tap delivered with joy. She once did this in front of her mother. Her mother’s response was to laugh and say, as if explaining her daughter’s behavior: “Pretty.” It’s diff’rent strokes, homes – so you will not beat the child (although you might want to), but you will also not reinforce the behavior by laughing. So what can you do? Here’s what worked for me:
It was March of 2009 and I was mere weeks away from completing my two-and-a-half years of ESL service with a big English conversation school. I had worn the suits, and rejoiced with students when they passed their exams. My apartment was decorated with crafts from Western holiday lessons; my pockets full of candies from sweet little students. I’d repeated the difference between “l” and “r” so many times I could barely tell the difference myself anymore. I’d been spanked, flashed, and poked in the bosom more times than I could count, but I’d made it through almost two-and-a-half years with my kancho virginity still intact.
That fateful day, I was teaching a mixed group of eight-year-olds. Juuho – a spunky little girl with an old woman’s voice – had been shooting me looks of Kancho Intent all lesson, but I was focused on the lesson, focused on marking off another day in my mental countdown to Freedom-From-ESL. I should have known better. But I turned my back, bent low to pick up a rubber ball that had become lodged behind a cushion during a vocabulary learning game. There: a strange sensation in my right cheek. Gentle, but insistent, and easy to ignore, as I dug between the cushions for the rubber ball. And then: bullseye. Oh, bullseye.
Time stood still. Her young hand, my innocent ass. Giggles crowded around me. I began to sweat, beyond repulsed. If you scream, she will have won. If you ignore it, she will only do it again. You will get no help from the Staff. You are on. Your. Own!
I turned around. Calm. Calm . I walked past my students, picked up a Sharpie, and wrote Juuho’s name on the board: Warning . And then I calmly walked back and continued the lesson. Juuho and the rest of the students were immaculately behaved for the rest of the class, watching me nervously out of the corners of their eyes. Juuho did not get the customary “Well done!” sticker at the end of class; nor did she get the satisfaction of making me jump. Zero incentive to try again. Teacher: 1, Schoolchild: 0.
Of course, when I related this story later to my brother back home, he said: “So let me get this straight, sis. A child put her fingers up your ass, and you wrote her name on the board?”
Yeah. I guess that’s what happened.
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https://www.thebody.com/article/anal-intercourse-aftercare
When it comes to anal sex, we often discuss preparation (aka the three Ds: dieting, douching, dilating), but we rarely mention what to do after engaging in anal sex. As fantastic as it is, anal sex can be traumatic to the body. If we engage regularly, we need to know how to properly care for the area before, during, and after the fun is said and done.
“Anal sex is a high-pressured act with significant forces at play, all of which can be quite traumatic,” Evan Goldstein, D.O., CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a medical and wellness practice for queer men, tells TheBody. “The anal cavity encompasses skin, muscles, and blood vessels, each of which can be restrictive and limiting. What that means is if someone goes beyond their capacity (i.e., their hole is opened up too wide or with too much force), any of these components can tear or develop other complications.”
The bum doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina, and, since spit doesn’t contain the proper lubricity to ease penetration, one must invest in a quality lube (and lots of it) for a more pleasurable sexual experience and to prevent injury.
I favor a thick, water-based lubricant or silicone lube for anal sex, and applying it to the penis or toy, the b-hole, and inside the hole, since penetration often reaches deeper than the rim area. Lube can be applied with a finger (which makes for great foreplay) or, if your toy or partner is large, a lube injector . You can even play with a lubricated toy to both lube and dilate your hole before the action begins.
Goldstein says “overaggressive anal douching” (i.e., douching with too much water or force) and the angle of the top and bottom’s pelvises are additional factors to consider. “Some people like to get creative with complex sexual positions (which are fine, but only once everyone is comfortable) or they’re simply too aggressive when they’re thrusting before the bottom has opened up,” Goldstein explains. “Unfortunately, there are many variables to think about that can increase the chances of potential anal injury—and they all need to be taken into consideration to minimize possible complications.”
Some people, such as myself , favor CBD suppositories when planning for longer, more intense sessions. These rocket-shaped pills ease inflammation and help relax the area––whether a bum or vagina––prior to intercourse. Some CBD oils offer similar benefits.
Whatever you do, do not use numbing lubricants. These have a reputation of masking pain, which is your body’s way of telling you to stop and reassess the situation. “It’s also going to numb his cock as well, which could result in you getting fucked for a very long time and further irritate the area,” adult actor Dallas Steele adds.
After you’ve bottomed, the area will be more sensitive than usual, so run a nice warm bath, spill in some Epsom salts, and bliss TF out. The warm water and Epsom salts will quell the area and relax your muscles. This makes for an opportune time to replay those sexy moments in your mind and clean the area. While a gentle soap will do the trick, you can be extra and purchase a bum exfoliator to clean and buff your booty hole. If you’re still feeling a little raw after your bath, pop an ibuprofen to help with inflammation.
“If, after four hours, you discover going number-two hurts, try using CBD oil, an anal numbing solution, or just regular dental numbing gel like Anbesol,” Steele recommends. “This will lessen the pain while your hole recovers from the pounding.”
After you’ve pooped, inspect the stool for blood. A little bleeding can be expected from time to time, but excessive pain, bleeding, or discharge should not, and you may want to consult a physician.
If you witness any of these symptoms, abstain from anal intercourse until they’re gone. This can take anywhere from a few days to a week to heal. In the meantime, take some Metamucil before bed, and drink plenty of water, so bowel movements are as smooth as possible, and take a sitz bath three to four times a day to keep the area clean. For good measure, use this time to consider how things can be done more carefully next time.
Moving forward, you may also want to reevaluate how you clean your bum after a bowel movement, since wet wipes are no good for your rear, especially if you engage in regular anal intercourse. Due to their ingredients, their moisture, and their material, wet wipes can irritate and even infect your precious booty hole .
Toilet paper can be similarly abrasive, especially when you wipe instead of blot. That’s why you should be using a bidet. They’re a bottom’s best friend and offer a spa-like experience for your tuffet.
To keep your hole in tip-top shape, do some Kegels to tighten your pelvic floor and teach your hole some new tricks. Just insert a toy into your bum, flex, and repeat—it’s as simple as that. Additionally, many adult actors swear by vitamin E to keep their holes camera-ready. Dolf Dietrich , who is no stranger to a gangbang, applies vitamin E oil once per day, both in and around his hole.
Some bum injuries require surgery. At Bespoke Surgical, the most common injury is an anal fissure, a tear in the skin that’s incredibly painful. Other potential consequences could be dilated veins (hemorrhoids), skin tag development (residual hemorrhoids or scarring from tears), anal infections (abscesses), and/or the development of an infected tunnel (anal fistula). All of these can be treated—just make sure you see a sex-positive, queer-friendly doctor who is knowledgeable about the bum.
As you can see, there are a lot of things to consider even after you’ve had butt sex. While these suggestions may not be as important as the planning––Steele insists, “The key to not being sore or even hurting after sex is to be prepared before, and to know your limits and experience level”––anal aftercare is good practice. We put our bums through a lot, and it’s time we give back.
Bobby Box is a freelance writer and certified sex educator. He's currently Grindr's sex columnist and his work has been published in Daily Beast, Playboy , Askmen, Elle , NewNowNext, The Advocate , and more.
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