Janet Pornstar

Janet Pornstar
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List your movie, TV & celebrity picks.

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I have been putting off making this list for many years; the idea of a fat(ish), middle-age, white man, drooling over his keyboard, listing women according to their "sexiness" - ecchs, right?
Well, guess what? Drumpf is president of the USA and leader of (those parts of) the free world (that would still talk to him), so, basically - we won (the popular vote, too - if you discount those millions of bad hombres who voted illegaly)!! I can finally stop pretending to be this wishy washy, left-wing, emasculated male-like puddle, and allow my inner Billy Bush to spread its wings and come out, roaring!
Mu-Ha-Frakkin`- HUH! Rules:
* Orthhodox Jewish rules - because I might as well go full deplorable, right? So - Jewish by maternal heritage, only (For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been, Jessica Alba')
* No convertees - pure, Jewish genes only (but you were Da Bomb in Some Like It Hot, Marilyn!)
* My list, my tastes!

Sigourney Weaver was born Susan Alexandra Weaver, on October 8, 1949, in Leroy Hospital in New York City. Her father, TV producer Sylvester L. Weaver Jr. , originally wanted to name her Flavia, because of his passion for Roman history (he had already named her elder brother Trajan). Her mother, ...
A buddy of mine keeps needeling me re that famous Alien bikini briefs scene: "...but she has no ass!". My answer: "how have we been friends for [27 years as of this writing]?!" Ms. Weaver might not have dem killer curves, but what she does have are beauty and intelligence that have kept her in the top 5 of my favourite sexiest actresses for 4 decades (and going).

Jennifer Connelly was born in the Catskill Mountains, New York, to Ilene (Schuman), a dealer of antiques, and Gerard Connelly, a clothing manufacturer. Her father had Irish and Norwegian ancestry, and her mother was from a Jewish immigrant family. Jennifer grew up in Brooklyn Heights, just across ...
Still a strikingly beautiful (though a bit too anorexic for my own taste) woman well into her 40's, the young Jennifer Connelly was one of the most beautiful women alive. Two Of my favorite movies - Dark City and The Rocketeer - were very much enhanced by her presence. And, if you think you can survive 2 hours of Don Johnson as a Noir hero - do check 1990's The Hot Spot, for some prime Connelly!

Rachel Hannah Weisz was born on 7 March, 1970, in London, U.K., to Edith Ruth (Teich), a psychoanalyst, and George Weisz, an inventor. Her parents both came to England around 1938. Her father is a Hungarian Jewish immigrant, and her mother, from Vienna, was of Italian and Austrian Jewish heritage. ...
This woman radiates beauty and intelligence. When you are the one element that makes a real turd of a movie worth seeing (e.g. The Mummy Returns, The Bourne Legacy, Constantine), you definitely deserve top ten consideration.

Alison Brie was born in Hollywood, California, to Joanne (Brenner), who worked at a non-profit child care agency, and Charles Terry Schermerhorn, a musician and entertainment reporter. Her mother is Jewish and her father has Scottish, Dutch, English, German, and Norwegian ancestry. Brie grew up in ...
Well, she's not in the top three's league as far as actressing (is that a word?) is concerned, but...! Had a crush on her since sometime towards the end of Community's first season (I'll go with episode 20, when Annie out-badassed fellow deputy campus cop Shirley), and she was amazing in Sleeping With Other People - one of the best (also the only) two rom coms I have enjoyed this decade - so, here we are...

Scarlett Ingrid Johansson was born on November 22, 1984 in Manhattan, New York City, New York. Her mother, Melanie Sloan is from a Jewish family from the Bronx and her father, Karsten Johansson is a Danish-born architect from Copenhagen. She has a sister, Vanessa Johansson , who is also an actress, ...
Well, DUH!! There are just too many instances of her being World's Sexiest Woman Alive (she even made a Michael Bay movie watchable!!!), but it's telling that she was perhaps at her most amazing in a movie (2013`s Her) where we only hear her voice... This woman is just a great actress. Why isn't she in first place? My list, my quirks...

Offbeat, unconventionally pretty, and utterly mesmerizing, Ellen Barkin was born on April 16, 1954 in the Bronx, New York, to Evelyn (Rozin), a hospital administrator, and Sol Barkin, a chemical salesman. Her parents were both from Russian Jewish families. Raised in the South Bronx and Queens, New ...
She is what is known as "an off-beat beauty" - which, in this case, means "incerdibly hot". Placed a bit high, mainly because of being the heart of 1982's Diner, one of my all-time faves.

Winona Ryder was born Winona Laura Horowitz in Olmsted County, Minnesota, and was named after a nearby town, Winona, Minnesota. She is the daughter of Cynthia (Istas), an author and video producer, and Michael Horowitz, a publisher and bookseller. Her father's family is Russian Jewish and Romanian ...
You broke my heart, Winona!! I know she had her reasons, but, dropping out of Godfather III, making way for poor Sofia Coppola to derail her father's masterpiece... Unforgivable. But I still love you, baby (call me).

Julia Louis-Dreyfus was born on January 13, 1961, in the New York City borough of Manhattan, to Judith (LeFever), a special needs tutor and author, and Gérard Louis-Dreyfus, a billionaire businessman. Her parents divorced when she was young, and she spent her childhood in Washington, D.C., and New ...
Yeah, Eileen Bennes dancing was probably the greatest boner-killer in TV history, but, still - weren't we all George Constanza when she had that (off-camera) nip slip? And didn't we all lose our s--t when president Meyer boned (again, off-camera) that magnificently sexy bastard Tom James (the disturbingly-alluring Hugh Laurie)? JLD (as we Old Christine-heads call her) brings her sexy A-game, every time!

Actress |
Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Phoebe Belle Cates was born on July 16, 1963 in New York City, New York, and raised there. She is the daughter of Lily and Joseph Cates , who was a Broadway producer and television pioneer. Her uncle was director/producer Gilbert Cates . Phoebe is of Russian Jewish, and one quarter Chinese, descent. ...
Prime-Cates was mainly about the cuteness, but - come ON! That scene, that one scene, THE scene - in which universe does it not get her into my top 10 (or ANY top ten, really)!

Lauren Bacall was born Betty Joan Perske on September 16, 1924, in New York City. She was the daughter of Natalie Weinstein-Bacal, a Romanian Jewish immigrant, and William Perske, who was born in New Jersey, to Polish Jewish parents. Her family was middle-class, with her father working as a ...

French actress and model Eva Gaëlle Green was born on July 6, 1980, in Paris, France. Her father, Walter Green , is a dentist who appeared in the 1966 film Au hasard Balthazar (1966). Her mother, Marlène Jobert , is an actress turned children's book writer. Eva's mother was born in Algeria, of French...
2006's Casino Royale, of course, but for me she really brought the hotness in TV's Penny Dreadful.

Rashida Jones was born in Los Angeles, California, the younger daughter of media mogul, producer, and musician Quincy Jones and actress Peggy Lipton . She has an older sister, Kidada Jones , and five half-siblings by her father's other relationships. Her father is African-American and her mother is ...
Daughter of Jewish Hotness HOFamer (and Yatz57 teenage crush) Peggy Lipton, Rashida was great in The Office and in Parks and Recreation, but for me she was a real revelation in Angie Tribeca, where she was allowed to be both beautiful AND funny - a killer combo.

An incredible piece of 1960s eye candy, Jill St. John absolutely smoldered on the big screen, a trendy presence in lightweight comedy, spirited adventure and spy intrigue who appeared alongside some of Hollywood's most handsome male specimens. Although she was seldom called upon to do much more ...
Wasn't going to pur her in the top 20, but my 13 years-old self made me do it. Check her out as the coolest Bond girl ever in 1971's Diamonds Are Forever.

Milena Markovna "Mila" Kunis was born to a Jewish family in Chernivtsi, Ukraine. The spoken language in her family is Russian, not Ukrainian. Her mother, Elvira, is a physics teacher, her father, Mark Kunis, is a mechanical engineer, and she has an older brother named Michael. Her family moved to ...
Who would have guessed that that annoying brat from That '70s Show would make it into this list?! And this over my red-haired amazonian crush from that show, sorta-Jewish Laura prepon?! (hint: Scientology is another boner-killer). Anyway: Mila Kunis was great in movies like Ted, and sexy as all hell in Black Swan (which gets her in ahead of that movie's star). Jupiter Ascending? What is that? No idea what you're talking about.

Natalie Portman is the first person born in the 1980s to have won the Academy Award for Best Actress (for Black Swan (2010)). Natalie was born Natalie Hershlag on June 9, 1981, in Jerusalem, Israel. She is the only child of Avner Hershlag, an Israeli-born doctor, and Shelley Stevens, an ...
Like her as an actress (prequels? What prequels?), and she IS very beautiful, but I'm not quite sure why I put her here... There WAS something, can't quite remember... mmm... Could it be LeoLLLLLLAAAA-LA-LA-LA I CAN`T HEEEEAR YOOOUUU!!! Guess this will just remain a mystery.

Pretty, demure-looking Janet Margolin was born in New York City in 1943 and educated at the New York High School of Performing Arts. The long-haired brunette was discovered for films by director Frank Perry as she was making great strides as a teen on Broadway. He saw her in the play "Daughter of ...
Just check out Woody Allen's 1969's Take The Money And Run.

Entrancing, gorgeous Lesley Ann Warren started gearing towards a life in show business right off the bat as a young ballerina who trained at the School of American Ballet at the age of 14. Little did she know that Hollywood stardom would arrive on her doorstep in the form of a "Cinderella" story. ...
This woman was A BOMBSHELL. Check her out in 1982's Victor Victoria, or 1985's terrible/great Clue... She was also great in a small role in 1999's The Limey, an underrated Steven Soderbergh gem.

Sarah Silverman was most recently the host of the two-time Emmy-nominated weekly topical series, I Love You America, which streamed on Hulu and also received a Writers Guild Awards nomination. Silverman is currently working on a musical adaptation of her 2010 memoir and New York Times Bestseller ...
No, not just because of the boobs, moron! Silverman is a very polarizing comedian, and admitedly not a great actress (though I did like her in The Larry Sanders Show and loved her own show), but she is a) Funny (OK, to me) b) Beautiful (again: to me) c) VERY left-wing (even Bernie Sanders was all like "chill with the socialism, girlfriend!") - a combination I can in no way resist. Yeah, OK - the boobs, too.

Actress |
My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Actress and singer Lainie Kazan first made her mark with her Broadway debut in 1961 with the musical The Happiest Girl in the World. The following year, she appeared in another musical, Bravo Giovanni. She eventually served as Barbra Streisand 's understudy for the lead role of Fanny Brice in Funny ...
Though she came to be known mainly for playing ethnic mom-types in her later years (My Big Fat Greek Wedding is perhaps her best known role), in the 60's and 70's she was a big star on Broadway musicals, known also for her nude Playboy spreads and for appearing in Playboy clubs and on TV variety shows. How sexy was she? Well, she inspired comics legend Jack Kirby to create Big Barda, the first true (sorry, WW fans) comics amazon. That is deserving of some (well, a lot of) respect!

Gwyneth Kate Paltrow was born in Los Angeles, the daughter of noted producer and director Bruce Paltrow and Tony Award-winning actress Blythe Danner . Her father was from a Jewish family, while her mother is of mostly German descent. When Gwyneth was eleven, the family moved to Massachusetts, where ...
Can't stand this woman, nowadays, but - she IS hot, and I did at one time have a sort-of, borderline crush on her. Yes, we all have our dark secrets - and I will not be shamed for mine!!

The Radical Adult Performer With a Very Regular Dating Life
What's it like to date online when you're a famous porn actor? For starters, no one believes you're you, explains Janice Griffith.
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This story is part of GQ’s Modern Lovers issue.
Online dating is tricky enough when you're not famous and often naked on the internet. But having potential suitors mistake your real dating profile for a catfish is just one of the many occupational hazards that the adult performer, activist, and—coincidentally—my new Brooklyn neighbor Janice Griffith is forced to navigate on the daily. “When I was on Bumble, my account got reported for being fake,” she tells me. “And I was like, ‘You deleted me!’ ”
Griffith, 25, is one of the most outspoken and in-demand porn actors on the planet—someone who cares deeply about normalizing sex work. She and I have been online acquaintances for a few years now, and when she said she was down to talk all about her dating life as someone who works in the industry, it seemed like a perfect reason to finally connect IRL. Her challenges, I'd learn, aren't so different from any other millennial's, though she does have some wisdom we can glean. “Porn years,” she explains, expedite maturity very swiftly.
When I arrive at her door on a cold afternoon in December, I can hear her pleading with her 50-pound pit bull mix, Opal, from the other side to refrain from accosting me. (One of the reasons she settled on this new multi-bedroom duplex is it has a backyard for Opal to run around in.) Griffith is wearing an elegantly flowy satin pajama set befitting a wealthy eccentric auntie, and she immediately apologizes for the state of things: There are pantry deliveries that need to be put away, as well as a few boxes still awaiting unpacking. A DVD sleeve of Lesbian Anal Virgins, starring my host, rests on top of one. As we settle onto her sofa, she fixes us tea using one of her vintage tea sets and rolls a joint. Opal hops up and melts into my lap.
“It's fun to want to be the best version of yourself after a breakup. When you get revenge hot.”
Originally from New York, Griffith flew to Los Angeles when she was 18 to shoot “just one scene” and then subsequently continued to work for nearly every adult production company under the sun. She tells me she fell in love for the first time not too long before that, at 15, and it was a “perfect intense puppy love and it taught me I can be absolutely bananas in love,” she says. The guy was “kind of stupid” and showed her how to drive (even though she still doesn't have a license), but things ended abruptly and she wound up with a broken heart. At one point Griffith pulls out her phone to look for the guy on Instagram, but nothing comes up and she shrugs it off. “Heartbreak is fun, though,” she says. “It's fun to want to be the best version of yourself after. When you get revenge hot.”
Her visibility means she gets a ton of DMs from fans—which range from extremely bad to just very bad—but they don't seem to faze her much. (“Do not use a weird, dirty joke in the first few messages,” she advises.) For Griffith, any potential partner has to be sex positive and open-minded about what she does for a living; even the faintest whiff of possessiveness is a non-starter. “I'm friends with tons of people I've had sex with,” she says.
At another point during our conversation, she scrolls through the text messages of one of her more well-known exes, the political Twitch streamer Hasan Piker. This was maybe the only one of Griffith's relationships visible online, and although they don't talk anymore, she says he's partly responsible for why she got Opal—she loved spending time with his dog so much that she wanted a canine companion of her own. For the most part she believes exes can still be in each other's lives, although it takes hard work and care. The friendship has to feel intentional. “It'd be such a shame to not have someone in your life after they were so important to you, just because you aren't romantic anymore,” she says.
Hollywood seems to love portraying sex work as some sort of cautionary tale, even when it's well intentioned. (See: The Netflix docuseries Hot Girls Wanted, which Griffith and her peers have criticized as exploitative.) Reality, however, is tamer—at least for Griffith. She's picky about her partners. And even though she can be fiery online, in person she strikes me as a romantic optimist—the kind of person who chooses to see the latent good in others. The pandemic has made dating tricky, and she's not eager to jump into a new relationship anytime soon. But she has thought a lot about what she wants in a partner. “If I fall asleep on the couch, I need you to carry me to bed and tuck me in—I think that's my love language,” she explains, laughing. “But I've taken a couple of love-language tests, and I'm almost equally split between the five of them.”
Sable Yong is a writer based in Brooklyn .
A version of this story originally appeared in the March 2021 issue with the title "The Radical Adult Performer With The Very Regular Dating Life."
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