James Is An Ass

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James is an ass - By James Harding - Book 1
Yesterday I was let go from the Shangahi Major for entirely my on camera segments I can only imagine. This as you know is the news. Followed by a string of surreal events. I decided I should release a statement. I wasn’t sure what kind of statement. Because there are various parties involved. So I slept on it and Valve asked me to ‘Put it on ice’ yesterday, so sleeping on it seemed a good idea.
But now, upon waking. I read today on reddit:
“James is an Ass’ - GabeNewellBellevue
This is a small quote from Gabes statement. But since I work a lot with various other companies, this also highly affects my business reputation. So after Valve asked me to put my statement ‘On Ice’ last night. Which I obviously agreed to do. Since resolving this situation privately would have been a lot more professional for all parties involved.
I am in the mind where I wish to release the most honest statement I can. With history, emotions, facts, more facts and maybe even heroes and villains. guaranteed to be a rollercoaster of a read. complete with spelling errors by your very dyslexic Host.
Disclaimer: I do not know Gabe well, and to my knowledge he does not know me well.
Once, Where Bruno and myself took a picture with him at TI2. No words were spoken between us, Other than my Thank you.
Second, Where I sat down briefly with Gabe and his Son for 2-3 minutes. Where I congratulated him on his company, and surrounding himself with amazing people (mainly referring to the Dota2 team who were kicking ass with the product back then). Valve at the time were very impressive to me. Myself as an indie game developer and a long time esport player/fan/worker look up to them.
So with that out the way. Let us begin at the Shanghai Major (but trust me, there is more)
I was approached 3-5 weeks before the Shanghai Major to host. I was asked by Bruno If I was interested in the gig. I was told I needed to give an answer that day. So, after some talks, I agreed it can work. Since even before going to the Shanghai Major, I had a feeling that the event would be riddled with problems from delays to lack of production value from previous events put on by the production team. So I figured I was asked to Host since I’m an very improvon camera personality who can keep the customer (twitch.tv - dota 2 fans) entertained by getting more out of the paneliest. and keeping conversation flowing.
I was mentally prepared to go! and do a great job no matter the problems I would face.
Upon the news returning to other Valve employees that I have accepted. I got a message from Icefrog himself.
 This is 100% Real. It pains me to bring a private conversation in to this post. Due to I think Icefrog is an absolute amazing person, who has done amazing things with the game. He’s somewhat a design idol of mine. and his methods of design I have adopted into my current development of the game I’m working on. and now here I am pulling him into this shit show. You have my apologies Icefrog.
So, I’ve been hired. I’ve been told by Icefrog to be myself. And Bruno was NOT in the process of hiring me. Bruno did lobby for me to host ti5. But they decided to go with someone else (I will explain why later after I get through Shanghai). Apparently when I was mentioned as a Host. Bruno put his hands up and said you cannot involve me in this. He knew, it had to be Valve. Bruno for the record is my best friend. So he knew, this had to be a business decision, despite he probably thought I was the best host for the job.
So, As a host I start to prepare for this event. I decide the best way for me to host. Is learn about the current state of the meta live on camera. why? Well because for new viewers. If the host isn't an expert. I can learn with them. Why is this hero good now? Why is this player picking these items? etc etc. So I prepare other segments to help break up the staleness of a potentially delayed event. A way to add texture and start talking points. I design:
Segment concept: A Type of weather report. We have 4 teams playing a day during group stage. So I will ask the panel what heroes are we likely to see because of these teams? After the panel has given me their list. I ask them what heroes would you like to see picked to counter these heroes.
Motivation: It’s important to use visual reference to help explain what might happen today in a fun weather reporting way. I want the customer/viewer to get excited about seeing their favorite heroes! and also learn about each hero before they are played, and of course the meta. This will help aid the viewer in following the games/tournament. Also the visual prop helps break up the staleness of 5 panelists talking on the couch.
Segment Concept: List pros and cons for each team. Though the panel may give me quite boring pros and cons. Try and write them up in memorable ways that stay with the viewer throughout the day
Motivation: I want to teach the viewers why they should care about players, teams. Understand their strengths and weaknesses before the match. and then refer to it after the game as an on going story line. I want to sell you the players… the people behind the heroes. because they after all are the most interesting thing about esports.
So I prepare this and even more, including panel mmr with scoreboards with a mini game attached to it. That I will not get to perform. I’m ready to spice up dota my way and sell some great story lines!
Upon arrival in Shanghai, We get great treatment. Picked up and taken to the hotel. Upon checking in I realize I’m sharing a room. Sharing a room isn't great when you are hosting over 10 hours a day and you know you will have to push your energy levels on camera to keep things entertaining, Plus I’m too old for that these days. 33, ok not old old. But I want my own space. So I ask Perfect World If they can upgrade my room and deduct it from my pay. Which is 12k USD for the whole event. Perfect World relay this to Valve and suggest i'm demanding a suite. Bruno messages me WTF? I reply no no no. and explain it. We laugh about the situation when we meet the next day. Here’s the skype log before we met.
Sorted. It’s important to me I explain these events, due to I really think this whole thing is personal. And If I am a complete cunt off camera. I should be fired. But I am not. I got my own room, So I can do the best job for the dota 2 fans at my own expense. Ontop of spending 2k dollars for new clothes for hosting. And accepting a lower rate for my work. I’m still happy and just want to do a good job.
Lets skip forward to day 1. We can really ignore any external problems from here on out from production. Lets focus on why I was fired.
On day one I open up the show with a joke about pornography 10 minutes within the show. It goes something like this:
Me: That's Great, But no one ever asks how the host is.
Me: well not great actually... Well I’m ok now. But I had a bit of a scare last night. You see my pre hosting ritual was almost un successful. Last night you see I was perusing the tv channels at the hotel for some… Adult entertainment. But It turned out the Chinese hotel had disabled pornography!
Me: I know, China! But I still watched Mr Wangs Amazing Wheelchaired adventures, And I have to say he was amazing. And now I’m here, all good and ready for some Dota!
*This was the joke, probably not word for word. But getting the vods ain't easy on this hotel net.
Afterwards we focused on Dota2, Our guests, I busted out my whiteboard thingy! Did some hero forecast and pros and cons for teams. The segment was meant to be 15 minutes long. But due to delays we were on camera 1h30m ish. But I didn’t care. The segment was entertaining!
After getting off the Panel. Bruno told me. Hey… no more porn jokes (This was pretty much Gabes feedback). I agreed and explained I had to open with something strong due to I haven’t been hosting for some time and my fan base expect this. And I just needed to do something high brow once, to appease my fans and loosen up the panel. And now we can continue onwards.
Though there was more feedback. This time from my arch enemy Ali! *DUM DUUUM DUUUM* Who is Ali? Well I can explain our interactions later. But let's just say his feedback was somewhat in the line of this.
I repeat… why am i watching someone use a whiteboard on a 3 million dollar tournament!?!?!?
Basically he is like fire this guy! Oh Ali… Yes my whiteboard is the problem. I am so sorry for cheapening your so far amazing event. My bad.
The day goes on. We continue. I get no more feedback from the Valve guys at the event. I focus on dota2 and things go well. Even some nice reddit threads about my hosting <3.
We open up the show with professional gamer Swindlemelonz, Hes great. He's giving strong statements. ‘These teams are good, these teams are bad’. He;s selling story lines. This is perfect I’m thinking. People are getting sold on the players and teams. and have more reason to watch.
I bust out my trusty whiteboard and have Swindle almost lead pros and cons. Nothing up there is player negative. It’s entertaining and as you can imagine we have delays so this segment really helps add texture to the panel.
Finally we have some games but then lose some internet, some more delays. then the segment that got me fired… We had internet which we didn’t have for most of the day so far. So I want to keep the panel going to entertain the customer. I suggest we talk or play games like, what player would you replace if you could to be in this tournament. Who is your dota 2 significant other. Top 3 best captains, Who's the best from these super stars etc etc.
Here is a youtube clip of that segment.
So, The segment finishes. I go to production room to ask Bonni the producer when she thinks we will start again. She doesn’t know but tells me she will come get us from the dining room when she knows. Then rushing around the corner comes Bruno.
I peer at his phone he is holding, He has an email open, I can quickly read The mail is from Gabe Newell, That much I saw. I cannot read it, but it appears to be about 3-4 sentences. I looked at his phone because for a brief moment he was just staring at it in disbelief. So.. I joined in.
Bruno: Bottom Bitch Joke, Disrespectful towards players…
For the record the Bottom Bitch joke was about Waga/Sing, personal friends of mine who have both contacted me for support. So for me it wasn’t out of place.
It’s hard for me to remember what we talked about it next. It was surreal being fired by my best friend on Gabes orders for doing what esports has done for years. entertain the audience no matter the problems. The other lady from Valve with Bruno offered me a hug. She was lovely and kicking ass at her job there. All 3 Valve employees were solving problems left right and centre every waking second. Her face was sad and she seemed to show real empathy. Thank you for that.
So I’m fired. But honestly I doubt Gabe even knew that I was told to be myself. And just didn’t like how i was representing his event and my style, so probably thinks… I am ‘an ass’. Plus on top of all the other problems they were having, I can only imagine that things were quite stressful for people at Valve. But they… put themselves in this situation. It’s no ones fault but theirs. They agreed to the contractors and so on for this 3 million dollar prize pool tournament. ultimately It is their responsibility at the end of the day.
I Tell the other employee from Valve there. That I’m so sorry for this. and I will try stay out of the way. But since i'm here and I don’t know what to do right now. I’ll just chill on it until my mind clears. I even offered to help with other off camera stuff if they wanted it. I'm not looking for conflict. I’m just sad. I was having a blast and people working with me seemed to be also.
I made a few tweets, basically saying i'm let go. I asked Valve there if it's ok. I explained I have the right to tell my fan base I won’t be on. It seemed fine.
Later though the net was blaming perfect world for my letting go. The whole event staff there never had a problem with me. Bonni the producer even came up to me in the dining room and explained she was sad, and she really enjoyed working with me.
But these comments of finger pointing did anger me. I wanted to at least clear their name in this decision. I point out its Valve.
People then continue to speculate the situation. So I’m like fuck it. I will release a statement. Outlining potentially the miscommunication within Valve. They didn’t all really know what they were hiring. I was told this but you wanted that. blah blah
Well either way, As i'm mentally preparing to write this statement that should just clear things up. Then Valve employees pull me aside. They ask me to put this situation ‘On Ice’. I agree because as previously mentioned. If we can resolve this privately that would be great. But then as you saw. I wake up to Gabes post.
So here I am tapping away. Giving you the honest play by play run down.
But let’s return shall we to Ali and the Statement as a whole. In our next segment entitled:
1) James. We've had issues with James at previous events. Some Valve people lobbied to bring him back for Shanghai, feeling that he deserved another chance. That was a mistake. James is an ass, and we won't be working with him again.
2) As long as we're firing people, we are also firing the production company that we've been working with on the Shanghai Major. They will be replaced, and we hope to get this turned around before the main event.
As always, I can be reached at gaben@valvesoftware.com.
So Let's explain this. Am I an ass because my on camera appearance? Yes to some I am. That's my hosting style. And if generally someone thinks something of you, they are from their point of view correct. feedback is never wrong imo, there is always some truth in it.
But he also explains We have had issues with James at previous events. Now this gets juicy. and we can start to reintroduce our Villain. It’s not Gabe. It’s Ali and his whispers. (Ok, I’m over selling this, maybe he's super nice. maybe i'm reading into the situation too much. you can decide)
I host TI2, Valves second international. I was hired as a host. I knew some about dota2 but not much. I turned up, No one at Valve had much of a vision of what the hosting would be like apart from Ali wanted sports broadcasting. He didn’t really push for it but you could tell every segment if we had too much… fun? He was asking us to tone it down a bit. Despite the huge reception myself, Godz, Bruno, Nebula were getting for our hosting roll.
I should also point out Valve weren’t controlling back then with our input, they didn’t act like they knew best. Infact they were very receptive of feedback. Bruno wasn’t even meant to be on the panel. But I asked if he could join because I feel inlove with the guys style of humour. We put him on the panel and it was a blast. The whole event was a hit.
The only small problem I saw while there after talking with others was... no one was getting paid….. Only me? I’m like wtf… So you're paying me because I’m not involved in dota 2. but your dota 2 casters are not getting paid. Owning my own agency and working with countless talent over the years. This for me is a big no no. And i'm a problem solver, I don't shy away from trying to help even If i am the ‘annoying guy’ you have to deal with. So, I start conversations with Valve during the evening over drinks. Explain that, These people make very little all year round atm. But they help build your community, they help market your game. If they leave this event paid they can continue to put time and effort into Dota 2, Also they get to tell their families and loved ones, this is their job (it's hard to sell your parents on this type of job. you want to shout about video games for a living, but once you get a pay cheque, things do change!). If they don’t have this income, they might stop due to financial restraints. I sell them on the idea of payment. Maybe they were going to do it themselves, but the talks they gave me was it's good for their brands to be here. The one Valve employee I spoke to the most who kicks ass obviously talked with the team and by the end of the event and EVERYONE got paid! Thank you for helping fight for us! I don’t think I could have done it without your influence.
Either way, We finish the event. Its a hit. everyone is getting along well and we are all happy, including Ali! TI2 10/10
I host TI3, One year later I’m invited back. Talent turn up. We all have payment sorted before the event. Life is good. we nail the event. There are of course small problems, but overall everyone is great to work with. Valve upped the production. Best TI Finals ever!
I come away from the event very happy, we all get on including Ali! TI3 10/10
Group Stage I am in a weird mindset for this one. Valve have made a lot of decisions that has taken the event backwards in my opinion, further away from esports and more into sports. including these problems we do not get paid for our time as hosts only signatures…
Remember those? Well basically our pay was 0. but we got money every time someone would buy an item and add our ingame signature. So if you added my signature for a dollar. I think I got 50c or the whole dollar. I cannot remember. So valve turned the talent into signature salesmen and women. Everyone is in a bad mood. Though luckily a lot of talent talk to Valve and we got this changed and had a base payment no matter how many signatures we sold. but If we sold a lot of signatures we get more than our base salary. If we do not they will give us our base pay. So…. they outsourced all talent costs :) gg. But to explain. if I’m paid 10k, and I sale 11k signatures for 1 dollar each. I am paid 11k. If the sigs gave us 1 dollar.
If I’m paid 10k and sale signatures for 2k. I am paid 10k. got it? good!
So, Problems. There is a new producer who is awful and making my job very hard during the event. I miss Caroline. Oh Caroline I’ve worked 10 years on camera or more, with MTV, SkyOne, and you are absolutely the best! But someone else is here and it's not great. I’ve also got personal problems too i'm trying to keep out of my mind, A family member has a rape case against them, by a girl who apparently came out 7 years later. So I am in America, when I just feel I should be at home at his case. He’s waited 2 years for this trial. It’s fucked us all up in many ways. He cannot get jobs because it goes on your record until you are cleared. And I am in two minds at the event. It’s not going well. But im trying to manage. Just keeping myself to myself mainly. Not my normal social self.
Day 1, I ask Sheever to host the panel with me. She does mornings and I do evenings. Because
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