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A grandmother whose fiance is 39 years her junior has revealed she’s lost friends as a result of her relationship with a younger man.
Pam Shasteen, 60, was devastated when her best friends labelled Jonathan Langevin, 21, “young enough to be her grandson” and told her she “needed therapy”.
Since then, the loved-up US couple, from Tulsa, Oklahoma, have refused to let cruel comments affect them and insist age is just a number, while revealing the sex is “mind-blowing”.
“I still can’t believe my friends of over 30 years couldn’t be happy for me just because Jonathan is 21,” Pam said.
“Jonathan is the love of my life and I don’t care what anyone thinks.”
In February 2018, Pam, a counsellor, received a message from Jonathan, a computer engineering student, on dating app, Badoo.
Pam Shasteen, 60, is 39 years older than her fiance. Picture: Hotspot MediaSource:HotSpot Media
When they started dating, Jonathan was just 19. Picture: Hotspot MediaSource:HotSpot Media
Despite his bio saying he was 21, Jonathan later admitted to being just 19 years old when the pair started dating.
“I stressed that I was too old for him as I had two daughters in their 30s and I was a grandmother,” Pam said.
“But thankfully, Jonathan admitted he’d always wanted to be with an older woman.”
A week later, Jonathan who lived 1400km away in Minnesota, travelled across the country to meet Pam.
“When I spotted him, he was even more handsome in real life,” she said.
“We ran towards each other and kissed passionately. It was love at first sight.”
That day, while the pair were out sightseeing, they received dirty looks from strangers.
“I heard one woman tell her friend that we looked disgusting and we shouldn’t be together,” Pam said.
“Every person we walked past gave us a horrible look.”
She described him as being ‘even more handsome in real life’. Picture: Hotspot MediaSource:HotSpot Media
The pair chatted online for one week before they met in person. Picture: Hotspot MediaSource:HotSpot Media
‘WE MADE LOVE AND IT WAS WONDERFUL’
The following night, the pair spent the night together for the first time with Pam describing it as “wonderful”.
“There was very little sleeping done that night,” she said, adding that while Jonathan may have been decades younger, “he wasn’t inexperienced”.
“He knew exactly what he was doing,” she said.
“During the next few nights, we were all over each other. Jonathan was amazing.”
“I felt myself falling for him already.”
The following week after finished packing to head home, Pam admitted she loved him and begged him not to go.
“Jonathan told me he loved me too and agreed to stay,” she said.
“As Jonathan had been living on his friend’s sofa back in Minnesota, he didn’t need to make any arrangements and moved in.”
Jonathan had been couch surfing so was happy to move in with Pam straight away. Picture: Hotspot MediaSource:HotSpot Media
PAM’S DAUGHTERS MEET HER YOUNGER MAN
The following day, Pam invited her daughters over to meet her new boyfriend.
“Before they arrived I texted them, ‘Just a heads up, he’s 19 and he’s moved in with me.’
“When they arrived, they looked so shocked when they saw Jonathan’s baby-face.
“Jonathan said he hoped they could be friends and hugged them.
“As my daughters and I watched Jonathan play around the house with my six-year-old granddaughter, they admitted they liked him.
“I was relieved to have their blessing.”
Soon after, Jonathan broke the news to his parents, who are both in their 60s.
“They replied saying they knew Jonathan always had a thing for older women so they weren’t surprised,” Pam said.
Pam’s daughters approved of her younger man. Picture: Hotspot MediaSource:HotSpot Media
“They even looked forward to meeting me. I was so relieved.”
Unfortunately for Ms Shasteen, her long-time friends didn’t have the same reaction when they met Jonathan, forcing the 60-year-old to cut them from her life.
“I hoped they’d be happy for me, but instead, they sat in silence and were cold towards Jonathan,” she said.
“A few days later they told me Jonathan was using me.
“Another said he was young enough to be my grandson and that I needed therapy.”
Jonathan proposed in May 2018, after three months of dating.
“I knew it was fast, but I was turning 60 soon and I knew life was for living,” Pam said.
“I’d been waiting all my life to meet my soulmate and he was right in front of me.”
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What should you do if you catch a 10-year-old looking at porn on the Internet? (brian kersey / getty images)
Q: I recently found my 10-year-old daughter looking at pornography on the Internet. When I asked her why she was looking at this, she said, "The devil made me do it!" I am appalled and don't know how to handle this.
A: The Help for Families panel understands you are upset, but wonders whether saying you are "appalled" may be a little harsh.
Pornography is rampant on the Internet, says panelist Michael Daniels. He suggest it may have been innocent. A 10-year-old could've been doing a report or looking up something simple and could easily comes across a pornographic site, he says.
"It is scary how pervasive it is and how accessible it is," he says. "But as a parent you need to get a handle on it and be a parent, to be effective."
The panel guesses from your daughter's reference to the devil that you are a religious household.
For the future, you can put controls or filters on your computer to control what sites she can access on the Internet, says panelist Pam Wallace.
You need to sit down with her and explain that pornography is something that isn't for children, Wallace says.
"She is at a developmental age when many kids start to be curious about sex," says panelist Denise Continenza. "Have an open conversation with her and give her information that aligns with your family's values."
She may be looking for answers to questions she has but will be directed in an inappropriate way, Daniels says.
"You don't want to squelch her curiosity," he says.
Talk to her to find out what she may be curious about, says panelist Rhoda Stoudt.
She also recommends you keep the computer in a public place so you can see what sites she is going on.
"Look at it objectively," says Continenza. "Put your emotions aside. This is one of the hardest parts of raising adolescents. Don't judge or condemn her."
If you feel you can't talk to her about these issues, find someone else who can talk to her," Wallace says.
You do know what to do, Daniels says.
"Love her and step back," he says. "Look into your own experiences. Pornography has been around for a long time, although it was not as accessible in the past as it is now," he says. "How you respond to this will determine whether your relationship with your daughter grows or not. She has obviously internalized your family's values and from a religious standpoint she's right."
She is showing she knows it's not the best thing to do, agrees Wallace.
"This is an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your daughter," says panelist Suzanne Mulhern. "She is a whole individual and this is just one small aspect of that."
Keep the communication open with her, Daniels says.
"This could always be a door to the next level," he says.
Parenting experts and guest panelists who helped this week:
Pam Wallace, program coordinator for Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House.
Denise Continenza, family living specialist for Penn State's Lehigh County Cooperative Extension, South Whitehall Township.
Michael Daniels, adolescent and attachment therapist, Bethlehem.
Rhoda Stoudt, Lehigh County Office of Children and Youth Services.
Suzanne Mulhern, The Arc of Lehigh & Northampton Counties, Bethlehem.
Help for Families is a collaboration between The Morning Call and parenting professionals brought together by Valley Youth House's Project Child

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