Italians Do It Better Sex
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Italians Do It Better Sex
Written by Gaia Zol on March 19, 2021
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From “no comment” to “let’s talk about it.” This is how the relationship between sex and Italians has evolved. Of course, like any marriage, it has had its ups and downs.
To understand how Italians viewed this topic in the past, one detail is important. Italy has always been a Catholic country. The Pope is literally and our neighbor and, to many, the spiritual guide. While his role might have changed recently, in the Italy of the 19th century, the Roman church had great influence.
Its teachings were straightforward and clear. First, no sex before marriage. Second, sex was a mean to the divine end: procreation. Third, a marriage in the eyes of God is eternal. Fourth, homosexuality was a sin. So were prostitution and adultery. Plus, partners couldn’t cohabitate before the wedding.
And that’s how Italians lived. They didn’t go on dates. They looked at each other, nodded, and then asked for the family’s permission. No permission, no marriage. No marriage, no sex.
Now that a couple could finally have sex, it wasn’t supposed to be a pleasure. On the contrary. It was almost a job. And its purpose was to procreate. Hence, contraception wasn’t allowed. After the marriage, no talk of separation or divorce. Despite adultery being a sin, people cheated.
Aka seduced and abandoned. Pietro Germi is the director of this 1964 movie, set in Sicily. To the director, it was impossible to understand Italy without looking at the island.
It’s the story of young Agnese, raped by the sister’s (Matilda) fiancé Peppino, she is now pregnant. The father wants them to marry but the Peppino refuses. Instead, he threatens Agnese. The scene below is the scene of the fake kidnapping. For Agnese’s father, this is a way to restore the family’s honor. Peppino fakes the kidnapping of Agnese and then he agrees to the wedding.
This movie is an example of Italy in the past. It’is when another key player in the story of sex and Italians enters the stage. Indeed, it’s the patriarchy. Truth is, women and men weren’t always equal, not even in bed. Then, the revelation.
This part of the story is linked with the history of women emancipation in Italy. In fact, the Fascist regime in the 1920s and 1930s had pushed towards a policy of procreation. The more Italians, the more patriot soldier. But that changed when the sexual revolution of the 1960s finally reached the country. That’s when Italians start rejecting the Pope’s teachings.
In fact, between 1962 and 1965, the Roman church called the Concilio Vaticano II. One of their decisions included the exercise of the virtue of chastity in a marriage. Although the church admitted to times of infertility, it didn’t allow for any contraception. Now, married couples were allowed to not have sex for a certain period of time.
It changed both families and the relationship between sex and Italians. While the Vatican spoke on the value of the sanctity of marriage, society voted for divorce and abortion.
In fact, divorce passed by referendum in 1970. Over 59% of Italians approved of it. Five years later, the government passed the family law reform and, in 1978, abortion became legal. Women asked to be free. Free to handle their bodies and to choose their faith. And their husbands, too. Unless they wanted a wife.
Slowly but surely, sex stopped being a taboo. But it didn’t necessarily become a healthy topic of conversation. Instead, sex turned into a show. And at the cinema movies in the 1970s to 1980s the sexy comedies , reflected this trend.
Thanks to the sexual revolution, women had aspirations. The most ambitious and pretty ones, ended up on TV.
So, did the sexual revolution stick? The short answer is nay. In fact, while people get more and more undressed on TV, the conversation about sex is lacking. Especially when it comes to education.
Italians school don’t teach about sex. They teach about anatomy and contraception. But they don’t teach about respect, violence, and abuse. Furthermore, they don’t teach about sexual identity. With transgender people and homosexuals doing coming out and speaking up, Italian education is behind. Centuries behind, unlike TV and the Internet.
Just in 2020, the Ministry of Education opposed to a sexual education course, without real reasons. And weirdly, since Pope Francis publicly supported the topic.
“Sex education must be given in schools,” the Pope said, “sex is a gift from God.” But perhaps not all worthy, are they?
Here comes the Italian taboo of the 21st century: the LGBTQ community.
“It is not licit to impart a blessing on relationships, or partnerships, even stable, that involve sexual activity outside of marriage, as is the case of the unions between persons of the same sex,” the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (CDF) in March 2021. And the Pope blessed this decision.
But what do Italian institutions say? Since 2016, same-sex civil unions and unregistered cohabitation have been legally recognized. The change of gender has also been legal, since 1982. But, there is no national anti-discrimination laws. Indeed, the Italian LGBTQ doesn’t enjoy the same protection and rights of the heterosexual community.
So, the institutions are behind. Because society is moving forward, as the example of the Liceo Ripetta in Rome shows. Or the story of the band Maneskin, the Sanremo 2021 winners. In fact, the judges of the contest didn’t impose restrictions on their look or sexual identity.
Needless to say, Italians enjoy sex like any other nationality. And a 2019 Censis report has revealed what they like. Here a few facts:
Of course, sex and Italians have a long way to go. It’s a relationship that is not always easy or fair. But it’s also fun and healthy. Bottoms up, friends.
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Ilaria Perrone, sex columnist for Grazia.it , the go-to magazine for the “It” girls of Milan , has given up on dating. “Italian men are romantic but they are also liars,” she told New York sex columnist Maureen O’Connor in the latest entry in Italy in 30 Days ’ Exchange Rates conversation series . Skyping from Milan, Perrone explained the hazards of dick-centric dating and swearing. Turns out Italians say “What the dick?” the way Americans say “What the fuck?” And don’t even get her started on the shortage of cunnilingus slang.
What is dating like in Italy? It can be very difficult, because in Italy men date because they want to have sex. They are not always interested in you as a person. If you go with a boy in Milan, you know 90 percent of the time, you will be with him that night. Even if you don’t have sex, he will try. He will always try. But if you want to see him again, you have to wait.
I used to talk with friends who lived in USA, and they tell me, “We go on real dates. I meet him on Tinder and we go out to dinner.” And the men would say, “The American girls are so free! It’s easy to take them home and have sex with them, but with you Italian girls, it’s not so easy.” At least, that’s what they say; I don’t know if it’s real. Italian men are romantic, but they are also liars. They treat you like a princess, and the next day they disappear. That is also a kind of lie.
So is it always sex on the first date? Blow job? Something else? No, no. In Italy it is totally different, we have sex first. I know in New York you do the other things first, then sex after, but here we think blow jobs are more private than sex. You can have sex with a condom on a first date, but oral sex is more complicated.
I mean, you really know someone’s genitals after oral sex. All five senses. Blow jobs are palatable for some Italian women, but I think some don’t want them at all.
If those women never give oral sex, do they still receive it? You know, I was discussing this during dinner with a friend of mine recently. We don’t have a real word for this. We have to describe the action, licking the puss. But it doesn’t have its own word, I think because it’s taboo. Some women and men don’t like this, either. I think there are two kinds of men, one that thinks this is not macho and doesn’t like it, and one that really likes it.
Our casual terms for cunnilingus are descriptions, too. You “eat her out,” “dig her out,” “lick cunt,” but those are verbs. Only things done to a penis are “jobs,” blow job and hand job . But wait, you said “puss.” Is that Italian for pussy ? No, here is the most common rude word for vagina: figa . If you walk down the street in Rome, boys will call you figa . Sei un pezzo di figa , “you are a piece of vagina.” It’s a rude way to say “I really like you, girl.”
Oh, like a rude compliment. Our version is “piece of ass.” Yes, it’s the same! We just use the other part. We don’t have a good word for anal sex, either. It’s so rude if a man says he wants to take your ass. I think there just aren’t as many words for these things in Italy.
Do you have a word for rim job ? No, what is that?
When you lick a butthole. Oh. No. No, we don’t have that word. You do?
Yes, several! Nicki Minaj raps about it . What about words for penises? We have so many of those! In the south, they say minchia . In the north, cazzo. When they are talking they insert this word, the way people from London say “fuck.” Che minchia fai? Che cazzo fai? It means “What the fuck are you doing?” In Genoa, they say belin. Same meaning, but when you use it to swear, it’s at the e
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