It was all Wrong

Everything I've shared until now turned out to point back to one person, myself.

For the past few months, I kept believing the fault was theirs. I questioned myself over and over, searching for the flaw I thought I had missed, yet I never found a clear answer. The truth is, I am autistic.

I blamed everyone around me while desperately trying to understand where I had gone wrong. All that exhaustion led me to a painful realization. The mistake I was searching for in others had been my own all along. Perhaps the best thing I can do now is stay quiet for a while and stop treating every word or action as if it carries only one meaning.

"I'm sorry."

Still, one question remains. Was it manipulation? I drift through uncertainty, trying to interpret words that never seem to have a definite meaning. I think about them repeatedly, yet I never reach solid ground. Even public deception is easier to understand, and mathematics is simpler still. But this isn't about science. It's about feelings. Meeting them became a challenge I believed I could overcome, yet I couldn't.

To rebuild myself, I need to step back, spend time alone, trust myself again, forgive, and ask for forgiveness. Each of those things deserves its own place, without being stretched into something endless. Sometimes the simplest answers come from within, not from someone else. And sometimes, choosing to believe in yourself is the wisest decision you can make.