Is rejection good for us?
Introduction
How would you feel about going up to a stranger on the street and asking them for a cheeky favour? If the idea makes you nervous, then don't worry – you are not alone! But recently, some people have been filming themselves doing this, as part of a social media trend called 'rejection therapy'. It's not an officially recognised form of therapy, but some have found that it improves their confidence. Georgie and Neil discuss this and teach you some new vocabulary.
This week's question
Which of these things did not happen to the animator Walt Disney before he became successful?
a) he lost his job as an artist
b) his first business ran out of money
c) his first full length film was a failure
Listen to the programme to hear the answer.
Vocabulary
rejection
saying no to someone; refusing an idea or suggestion
spike
increase suddenly
socially anxious
worried about speaking to other people, or being judged when around others
come easier
be easier to achieve
perfectionism
feeling that everything you do needs to be perfect
appraise
judge
TRANSCRIPT
Note: This is not a word-for-word transcript.
Georgie
Hello and welcome to 6 Minute English from BBC Learning English. I'm Georgie.
Neil
And I'm Neil. Don't forget you can find vocabulary, definitions and a worksheet for free on our website, bbclearningenglish.com.
Georgie
So Neil, today we're talking about rejection. So, rejection means saying no to someone or refusing to accept their idea or suggestion. Neil, how do you feel about rejection?
Neil
Well, nobody likes rejection. But I think as you get older, you get used to it. And probably it's quite a good thing to experience rejection, even if it doesn't feel nice.
Georgie
Yeah, I agree. We can't always get what we want, can we?
Neil
We can't, no. In this podcast, we'll be learning about a new internet trend called rejection therapy and how people are using it to help them to be more confident. OK. Let's start with our quiz question, Georgie. Lots of famous people have faced rejection in their lives before they became successful, but which of these things did not happen to the animator Walt Disney before he became successful? Was it:
a) he lost his job as an artist,
b) his first business ran out of money, or
c) his first full length film was a failure?
Georgie
I've got no idea, but I'm going to go with a) he lost his job as an artist.
Neil
OK. Well, we'll find out the answer at the end of the programme.
Georgie
OK Neil. So, most people don't like being rejected, but one thing to try might be something called rejection therapy. It's a social media trend where people record themselves talking to strangers and sometimes being rejected.
Neil
OK. That sounds quite interesting, but let's find out how it works in practice. Hannah Gelbart, host of the BBC World Service podcast What in the World, had a go at the trend. Let's see how she got on.
Hannah Gelbart
Hey, can I come sit down at your table?
Stranger
Yeah.
Hannah Gelbart
Hey, how's it going?
Stranger
Good, thank you.
Hannah Gelbart
How's your day gone? Good afternoon. How are you doing? Can I drive your cab? Can I? Can I get behind the wheel?
Cab Driver
Don't be silly!
Hannah Gelbart
Don't be silly...! Coming somewhere else to try and face my fears... maybe do a bit of shopping. I was wondering, can I have a nap in one of these beds? Can I just try it out? Wow – I didn't expect that one to be a yes!
Georgie
Well, it seems like people were pretty nice to Hannah in those examples.
Neil
Yes. And she talks with psychologist Claudia Hammond about how she felt during the experiment.
Hannah Gelbart
And actually, walking up to the first person, I felt my adrenaline really, really spiking. I'm not a socially anxious person – I think I'm really confident. But that first thing really scared me. And once I'd done one, the second one came easier and the third one came even easier. And you know, by the fourth time I didn't even mind it whether they said yes or no.
Georgie
Hannah says that when she walked up to the first stranger in the video, she felt her adrenaline spiking. If something spikes, it increases sharply.
Neil
Hannah is not generally a socially anxious person. Someone who is socially anxious is nervous or worried about speaking to other people.
Georgie
Each time Hannah tried to speak to a new person, she says, it came easier. Come easier is an informal way to say something is easier to achieve.
Neil
Now, this social media trend is called rejection therapy, but it's not a proper form of therapy. It hasn't been tested.
Georgie
And there are some criticisms of the videos because they involve filming your interactions with strangers, which people might not want.
Neil
But people who post the videos say they boost their confidence. So, why do people want to ask for rejection?
Georgie
Psychologist Claudia Hammond has some ideas, which she shared with Hannah on the BBC World Service podcast What in the World.
Claudia Hammond
What we do know is that there is an increase in perfectionism. People are more worried now, younger people, about how other people are judging them. And so, I wonder whether that might make people more shy of speaking to strangers – worried that the people will, you know, not appraise them in a good way, and so doing something like this to try to counter that might feel like a positive step to people, that they're trying to do something. Also, they're fun to watch.
Neil
Claudia says there's an increase in perfectionism among young people. Perfectionism is the feeling that everything you do needs to be perfect.
Georgie
Young people are also worried about how people will appraise them, which means judge them.
Neil
Deliberately looking for rejection might be an extreme way to become more confident, but it can lead to surprising discoveries.
Georgie
Yes, and Hannah found that most strangers she spoke to were friendly and happy to help, so she didn't really experience rejection much at all.
Neil
OK. Georgie, I think it's time now for the answer to my quiz question. I asked you which rejection Walt Disney didn't experience before becoming successful?
Georgie
Yes, and I went for a) I don't think he lost his job as an artist.
Neil
Well, actually, the answer was c) his first full length film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, was not a failure. It was a huge success.
Georgie
Wow! That was his first film? That's really impressive.
Neil
It is.
Georgie
OK. Let's recap the vocabulary we learned in this programme, starting with rejection, which means saying no or refusing an idea or suggestion.
Neil
The verb spike means increase suddenly.
Georgie
Someone who is socially anxious is nervous or worried about speaking to other people.
Neil
If something comes easier, it's easier to achieve.
Georgie
Perfectionism is the feeling that everything you do needs to be perfect.
Neil
And if you appraise someone, you judge them.
Georgie
Once again, our six minutes are up, but you can test what you've learned with the free worksheet on our website, bbclearningenglish.com.
Neil
Thank you for joining us and goodbye.
Georgie
Goodbye.
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