Is Sex Good For Anxiety

Is Sex Good For Anxiety
Part of HuffPost Wellness. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
Experts share how the mental health issue affects what goes down in the bedroom and how to deal with it.
May 30, 2019, 05:45 AM EDT | Updated May 31, 2019
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Living with anxiety often means it’s present wherever you go ― including between the sheets.
“Anxiety and sex are not happy bedfellows,” said Jassy Casella Timberlake , a Massachusetts-based licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified sex therapist, aptly summing up a complex issue.
Whether it’s anxiety/stress itself or the medication you use to treat it, the issue can have wide-ranging effects on a person’s sex life. While no two people will experience mental health conditions in exactly the same way, you should be aware of some general truths about anxiety and sex.
Below, experts share what you might expect, plus some strategies to cope:
The most ubiquitous effect of anxiety on your sex life is a lowered libido, or desire to have sex, according to Abby Altman , a New York-based psychiatrist. Higher levels of cortisol are associated with anxiety and stress emotions, and high cortisol can suppress sex hormones that impact desire.
Having sex when you’re feeling anxious is also basically like asking your mind to multitask, which is hard to do.
“It’s almost as though you have two competing interests for the same neurological system,” Altman said. “You have the anxiety, which uses the pathway of the autonomic nervous system, and you also have the sexual activity, which employs the very same system.”
So it’s not surprising why that doesn’t exactly put you in the mood.
But it’s worth noting that not everyone will experience a decreased libido. “There are some who may use sex as an anxiety reliever, or who will masturbate compulsively, for instance,” Altman added.
Data also supports that some people may have an increased sex drive when they’re feeling anxious. All this to say: there’s really no “normal” way to react to stressors.
Anxiety can also affect the sex you do have. For one, anxiety can delay or impede your ability to orgasm, and make it harder to maintain an erection, Altman said.
Additionally, some of the physical symptoms of anxiety can throw a wrench in your plans. Those symptoms include tensed or clenched muscles, rapid breathing and lightheadedness — all of which can be pretty distracting if they’re coming from a feeling of panic and dread and not, say, an orgasm.
Casella Timberlake added that the distraction that anxiety can bring into the bedroom certainly doesn’t help you stay connected to your partner in the moment.
“People take that anxiety personally. They think it’s got something to do with them when their partner’s libido has dropped,” she said. “Anxiety can be picked up by the partner, and then they just bat that ball back and forth between them.”
Then, of course, there’s anxiety about sex, which can complicate things even further. Whether there’s a history of sexual trauma, performance anxiety or fallout from a shame-based upbringing, Casella Timberlake said that issues surrounding intimacy can greatly impact the sex you have.
For example, some people may experience vaginismus , where the vaginal muscles will clench so tightly during penetration that intercourse becomes incredibly painful. In many cases, the root of vaginismus is anxiety about sex that was brought about by past trauma or shame-based education surrounding sex, according to experts.
In an unfortunate Catch-22, the very same medications that treat anxiety can also lower your sex drive. Altman said that doctors will often prescribe SSRIs ― selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors ― to treat anxiety. However, too much serotonin can decrease your libido and make it harder to orgasm.
All of this doesn’t mean you’re relegated to a subpar sex life.
If it’s anxiety medication that’s causing you concern, Altman advised talking to your doctor. Your dose could be adjusted or you could switch to a different medication, although it’s worth noting a different drug might bring about other equally undesirable side effects.
Your doctor might try adding an antidepressant medication like Wellbutrin to your existing regimen, as it’s been shown to mitigate some of the negative sexual side effects of other medications, Altman said. If your anxiety is severe enough to be impacting your daily life, it’s understandable that doctors will prioritize that and the medicine that helps you instead of sex, Altman said. That being said, don’t let it deter you from advocating for yourself. A satisfying sex life is also important for your mental health, she added.
If your anxiety is unrelated to medication, you also have strategies to get more out of your intimate life. Talking to a sex therapist could be a great place to start, especially if you think that past trauma could be at play.
“One of the things that’s beneficial about having a sex therapist is that we’re trained to gently help people develop more comfort talking about sex,” Casella Timberlake said.
A sex therapist can help you work through concerns and facilitate communication with your partner if anxiety has caused a breakdown in your intimacy. However, therapy is often expensive and inaccessible. You could try a more affordable option , like text therapy, group therapy or finding someone who can provide sliding scale session rates based on your income.
Additionally, Casella Timberlake recommended trying stress-relieving techniques like meditation or mindfulness exercises. Given the many physical ways in which anxiety manifests, it can be useful to really focus on where you feel that anxiety in your body, she noted. Does it make you take shallow breaths? Tense up your muscles? If you can better understand the ways you experience anxiety, you can work on developing specific coping skills for your particular body. If you’re new to meditation, you might start with one of these apps .
Even a little self-exploration on your own might also help. While it might be difficult at first to manage your anxiety with a partner, figuring out what turns you on (and finishing in the process) can help ease your stress and know what to communicate to someone else when the time comes .
While it’s true anxiety and sex might not be “happy bedfellows,” exploring your options for treatment can make your bed cozier for you and whatever else you’re bringing along for the ride.
“Living With” is a guide to navigating conditions that affect your mind and body. Each month, HuffPost Life will tackle very real issues people live with by offering different stories, advice and ways to connect with others who understand what it’s like. In May, we’re covering anxiety in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month . Got an experience you’d like to share? Email wellness@huffpost.com.

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This World Mental Health Day , we’ve decided to take a look at one of the burning questions many people have about sex and mental health.
Sex makes us feel good, and anxiety and depression make us feel bad, so in these simple terms, it’s easy to see why people might think that the former could help ease the latter.
In fact, orgasms, similar to exercise, release feel-good hormones called endorphins so they can boost your mood.
On top of that, studies have shown that orgasms can help you get a better night’s sleep and reduce stress. Since many people with anxiety and/or depression report trouble sleeping, this could, erm, come as a welcome relief.
As the experts at sex toy brand Femme Fun previously told us: ‘You may notice you feel like you want to go straight to sleep after a mind-blowing climax, this is due to prolactin, known to induce the sleepy or drowsy feeling that you experience after sex or masturbation.’
They added: ‘You may be familiar with the post-wank high that can sometimes feel like a wave of happiness that comes over you, this is the flood endorphins working their way around your body.’
That’s right, you don’t have to get another person involved to feel the soothing benefit of orgasms – masturbation can be a good way to practise self-care.
Mia Sabat, Sex Therapist at Emjoy, said: ‘More and more studies and research are concluding that masturbation and sexual stimulation benefit your overall health: it reduces stress, improves the immune system, helps to exercise the pelvic floor, and helps to improve sleep.
‘Other great reasons are because it is enjoyable, because you want to do it and because you like to discover yourself.’
However it’s important that sex and masturbation don’t become crutches for dealing with negative emotions.
You shouldn’t rely on sex as some sort of magic wand you can wave to get rid of your mental health problems, and you should still seek help if you think you’re experiencing depression and/or anxiety for the first time or your symptoms are getting worse.
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There are plenty of ways to find a therapist to suit your needs , and in some cases you may be prescribed medication to help.
While sex shouldn’t be seen as a substitute for professional help, orgasms might be able to give you a boost here and there.
You can contact mental health charity Mind on 0300 123 3393 or text them on 86463 .
Mind can also be reached by email at info@mind.org.uk .

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Stress & Anxiety | Written by: Keely
Inarguably, the daily demands of life put tremendous pressure on the body. The pressure to perform well at work, place a decent meal on the table, marriage; the list is endless. All of that stress compounds over time, to the point that you just need some form of relief. While yoga, meditation and journaling can all be great, sometimes soothing your primal desire does the trick. Yes, we’re talking about sex for stress relief.
Sex makes a great stress-relieving antidote, boosts the immune system and offers numerous other benefits. It not only involves physical intimacy but there is a spiritual and emotional connection between partners, which is therapeutic.
The body is designed to respond to stress by releasing adrenaline and cortisol hormones. Cortisol, the primary stress hormone, increases the glucose levels in the bloodstream, which enhances energy concentrations in the blood and ensures the availability of certain elements that repair tissues.
It also limits functions that would be harmful in a fight-or-flight situation. Adrenaline, or “the flight or fight” hormone, elevates the heart’s rate, blood pressure, and boosts the supply of energy. This natural alarm system communicates with different regions of the brain that control one’s moods and motivation.
The body’s stress-response system is self limiting, hence once the perceived threat wears off, hormone levels go back to normal, and other systems resume their regular activities.
However when stress factors are always present, the fight-or-flight reaction remains turned on, disrupting most of the body’s processes. As such, when you’re stressed, you may come off as rather edgy, anxious, and depressed and some may develop headaches, sleep problems, low libido, and heart diseases.
Here’s a video that goes into more detail on how your body reacts to stress.
Sex increases the production of oxytocin , which is often referred to as the love hormone. Before achieving an orgasm, oxytocin levels in the brain surge and are accompanied by a release of endorphins (discussed later in the text).
Researchers from the University of North Carolina and the University of Pittsburg analyzed oxytocin levels in 59 middle-aged women before and after contact with their partners. The study concluded that more contact in the form of sex, holding hands, or hugging increased oxytocin levels.
The same study showed that an elevated mood resulted in more physical affection and sexual activity with partners the following day. It indicates that managing stress through sex works both ways; sex relieves stress and reduced levels of anxiety create an urge for more sex.
Oxytocin affects the way we feel and is responsible for forming deep emotional connections with partners. According to Patti Britton , oxytocin increases the urge to bond and in some cases, it is linked to the feeling of generosity.
The endorphins released during intercourse act as natural mood boosters, thus relieving stress.
In fact, studies show that regular sex boosts self-esteem and intimacy between partners. Additionally, semen is believed to contain mood-altering hormones that reduce stress and depression.
Intimacy begins with developing a profound respect for yourself and your partner, which is often enhanced by genuine communication, trust, and honesty. Whether you are married or in a relationship, these truths go a long way to having great sex.
Passionate encounters that come from balanced and healthy relationships rather than emotional neediness or desperation produce better results for stress relief.
As mentioned earlier, stress-relieving sex comes as a result of having a deep connection with your partner through honesty, respect, and communication. But additionally, the stress relieving benefits of sex are amplified even more when you experience an orgasm.
Men and women achieve orgasms differently, but the health benefits are almost similar. Additionally, self-stimulating orgasms, such as through masturbation have different effects on the brain from those achieved from a partner.
Orgasms cause the body to release endorphins that rid of the stress-causing hormone known as cortisol from the system. Apart from their pain-relieving effect, endorphins have a chemical structure similar to morphine, thus controlling the body’s response to stress and boosting your mood.
In addition to stress relief, researcher Barry Komisaruk discovered orgasms can help you achieve an improved state of consciousness.
Here are some other ways sex is the perfect antidote for stress and anxiety:
Though this benefit can be achieved through other activities like hiking, walking, biking, or running, sex also plays a significant role in promoting the health of the heart. Additionally, the opening of the hips releases stress and tension in the psoas during sex—a feat also achieved through yoga .
The profound sense of connection that comes with sex is intense and is known to relax the nervous system. Keep in mind that partners engage in lengthy conversations after intercourse that allow them to explore their cultural and individual hang-ups around sex, which creates a deep connection.
During intercourse, partners engage in a lot of deep breathing which also relaxes
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