Is Porn Real

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FACEBOOK/TERRY CREWS
A video series by actor Terry Crews detailing his struggles with pornography has been watched by millions over the past few weeks - but is porn really addictive?
Crews called his three-part video series Dirty Little Secrets. It's a frank account of his use of porn, which he says started when he was just 12 years old. The first instalment in his series has been viewed more than three million times, and has attracted thousands of comments.
Crews, a former American football player now better known for his TV and film roles, recounts in detail how he used to spend hours looking at porn.
"Pornography really messed up my life in a lot of ways," he says. "If day turns into nights, and you are still watching, you've probably got a problem. And that was me."
And he admits his addiction almost cost him his relationship with his wife, the gospel singer Rebecca King-Crews, from whom he temporarily separated. Thousands on Facebook applauded Crews for his honesty.
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More on this story from the BBC World Service here.
However, the very idea of "porn addiction" is controversial. It's not a disorder listed in the latest edition of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the "bible of psychiatry" issued by the American Psychiatric Association. Many experts say the brains of people watching porn don't function in the same ways as the brains of, say, drug users, although the evidence is somewhat contradictory on this point. In one study, University of Cambridge researchers performed brain scans on 19 men watching porn, and the same reward centres of the brain were activated as when addicts see their drug of choice.
Nicole Prause, CEO of brain research company Liberos and formerly a researcher at the University of California Los Angeles, says that porn use shouldn't be lumped in with drug and alcohol addiction.
"In the case of porn addictions, the brain looks similar to other addictions but only up to a point and then it diverges. When you look at porn, you get increases in learning and reward... but you don't see some of the other hallmarks," she told BBC Trending radio.
"In other addictions such as gambling, when you see a cue, for people who have a problem, the brain is more responsive. In the case of porn, with people who say they have problems, their responsiveness is decreased."
Prause says the brain science means that porn is not addictive according to current models, and that treating it as an addiction can be counter-productive.
But calling porn non-addictive is no comfort to the thousands who talk about their struggles with pornography online. One such group on Reddit, r/NoFap ("fap" is slang for "masturbate") has more than 170,000 followers, making it as popular as Reddit boards (aka subreddits) devoted to beer and Grand Theft Auto.
Many users of the forum - which is associated with a website of the same name - detail their intense struggles with their porn obsessions, and pledge not to use pornography or masturbate for a certain period of time. Tom (not his real name) is a teacher in the US Midwest. He told Trending that his obsession with porn began at a young age, and took a toll on his marriage.
"You've probably heard a saying that porn is great but it doesn't compare to the real thing," he says. "When you're addicted to porn, you'll feel the opposite. Sex is great, but it doesn't compare to porn."
At one point, Tom says, there were weeks when he spent hours every night looking at porn.
"I had trouble getting aroused with my wife, just because it wasn't enough any more," he says. Whatever scientists might say, Tom feels he's addicted to porn - as do many others on the Reddit forum. He's been trying to stop watching it for two years, and has gone as long as 90 days, but he says he still struggles to stop entirely.
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What started as light hearted inside joke between two California high school students has taken the web by storm. READ MORE
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10 Things You See in Porn that Don’t Happen in Real Life
We all know that the classic pizza delivery guy porn scenario is unrealistic. And that one very bad pickup line doesn't ever immediately lead to hours of hot sex. Still, porn is a contributor to sexual education and there are parts of it that are too often mistakes for reality. The problem with that is obvious: "Anybody who would get their sexual information from pornography alone would be highly misled," says Neil Malamuth, professor of communication and psychology at UCLA. To avoid being counted among the "porn educated," here is some clarity about its most common deceptions and exaggerations.
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In theory, the desire to orgasm at the same time as your partner has a certain sweetness to it. The first problem is this coordination is much more complex than it appears in porn. There are some sex toys and methods that you can use to attempt this feat, but that brings us to the second problem: If you are spending all your time and energy trying to climax together, you probably aren’t enjoying yourselves and each other as much as you should be.
Squirting and gushing are popular tricks of women in pornography and are often portrayed as female ejaculation. Tests of the fluid produced have shown these are not the same thing. Female ejaculate is chemically similar to semen. The fluid produced by squirting, on the other hand, is likely watered-down urine. While women can learn to squirt, sex researcher Beverly Whipple doubts women can train themselves to ejaculate.
Malamuth has studied porn consumption, often outside of the United States, and he’s found that people do draw inspiration from what they watch. “It certainly has made them want to try to copy certain acts to try that thing they haven’t done before,” he says. Using porn to expand your sexual horizons is reasonable, and possibly healthy, but remember that the vast majority of these films feature actors who are paid to play up the enjoyment of every moment. Remember this and don’t set yourself up for disappointment when sex in the shower doesn’t do it for you, or expect your partner to be as enthusiastic about this experimentation as the actors were.
Pornography is generally produced for a male audience and tends to depict women in a submissive, or at least very sexually permissive, way. This is not the reality of most sexual partnerships. This disparity has made people worry that the way men dominate over women in porn encourages men who watch it to commit violent sexual acts. Malamuth has studied this in his own work. “For the majority of men, it does not have that impact,” he says, “but for those men who already have other risk factors, heavy consumption of pornography — particularly the more extreme or the more violent — can add fuel to the fire.”
You already know that men’s penises and women’s breasts tend to be bigger in porn. For women, these large, perky breasts accompany thin bodies, which is a relatively uncommon combo in the general populous. Vaginas shown in porn are also of a very restricted aesthetic. For men, the disparity between porn penis size and average can be outrageous. The average man’s penis is 3.6 inches when it’s flaccid and 5.16 inches when it’s erect. If you’re overweight or un-manscaped, it can look even smaller — notice the male actors are rarely either of those.
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