Is Casual Sex Wrong

Is Casual Sex Wrong
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But this is my unique experience and I have met women who share the same experience as me or a different experience than me around hookups. So, what makes the same kind of encounter likeable for some and miserable for others? It depends on our motivation, why we do it, our reasons for doing it.
Many women engage in the hookup culture just because everybody else was doing it. As a single mother, I often get propositioned by many married men to be their casual sex partner, who are living sexless lives with their wives. Entering into such an encounter where you always remain in the shadow of that “other woman” feels unfulfilling and demeaning to me. Why would I minimize myself to just another number of a married man’s hookup list?
Yes, love and sex are two distinct entities and for many people are inseparable. That is, many people cannot disconnect emotionally with someone we have sex with or we need commitment, and love from that person. But some people can keep it to a biological need, which sex is indeed. Harpreet, says, “I’m not that casual but I think sometimes being casual is good. After divorce I don’t want a man in my life but I need sex.”
Poorvaja Sivaraman says, “Sex is a biological need and it looks you missed the whole point of casual sex. Maybe this analogy will help. It’s like eating instant noodles. There are times when you’re hungry but you don’t have the energy and resources to make a gourmet or a three course meal. Instant noodles taste amazing, gets the job done with very little fuss. Do you reminisce about every meal you’ve ever had or you eat, shit and move on with life? ”
Despite a wide uptake of hookup culture, love is still in vogue. As anthropologist Helen Fisher says , our brains are wired for love, we crave love and attachment as much as we want sex. It is seen that people who regularly engage in hookups are more likely to feel distressed and lonely. On the other hand, a stable relationship with a committed partner is connected to better mental health, lower levels of stress, and less depression. Can it be said that hookup is a phase but not a lifelong solution, and as human beings we need much more than a body-to-body connection with a person on psychological, emotional, and social level?
Women have been told all their lives that they must keep their bodies pure. We have been told that if we give away the milk for free, he is not going to buy the cow. This perspective has been hammered into our minds so much that we cannot help but internalize it. Even if a casual relationship is fulfilling for a woman, she cannot help but feel guilty because of the rigid norms. A battle between what they feel like and what they should feel like breaks out in their mind.
It is also true that many people go into a casual relationship in the hopes of it becoming something more. This contributes a lot to the guilt and lack of self-esteem later. When women engage in casual sex with a discreet hope of getting the man committed to them in the long run (happened with me), it does not end well for them. But this experience is not identical to all the women out there. Many women are completely happy with their casual sexual encounters. They do not want a commitment, and hookups make them happy and sexually satisfied. These women are the ones who are going into the casual hookups with their eyes wide open, knowing exactly what they want. What they expect and what they desire is what they get from an arrangement such as this.
My friend, indie filmmaker Meera Chowdhary said in a Facebook comment “People should disclose to each other that they are only meeting for casual sex…. problem is they give different impression from day one…they try to impress each other; show they are falling for each other, but they don’t disclose that it’s only for casual sex. Even casual sex is not bad if both the people are in agreement with it. Problem is not in casual sex; problem is in behaviour of people. Problem is also when a person remembers you only for sex and entertain you only for sex…In that case go to market where one can buy sex.”
Hookups are not for everybody. But we should also remember that people are built differently. What is degrading to me might be liberating for somebody else. Even if you are in a casual relationship, communication, setting boundaries, and respect are immensely important things. Even if you are only in it for sex, you should avoid objectifying someone or yourself. Much of the negative feelings that women feel after a hookup comes from the thought that they have been treated without respect. It does not matter if you are only seeing your partner for a single time. You need to talk to them. You need to have a conversation that lets your partner know that you are an entire person and not just a walking genital.
We need to see each other as human beings who enjoyed a short but wonderful time together instead of faceless sex toys. By doing so, we are taking equal control over the encounter, keeping a steady handle on our self respect, and extending the same to our partner.
Pallavi Barnwal is a certified sexuality coach and founder of a sex-positive platform Get Intimacy. She has been featured as a sexpert in publications such as Huffington Post, India Today, Vogue, The Hindu, Dainik Bhaskar, Indian Express, Times Of India, BBC, Deccan Chronicle, Femina and more. She specialises in helping people gain courage to talk openly about sex and relationships and equipping them with actionable tips and skills so they can start having more pleasure both inside and outside their bedroom. The views expressed are the author’s own.
Digitalist Tech Media © 2021 All Rights Reserved.

Home / Advice & Tips / Is Casual Sex Good or Bad? Pros & Cons
In the modern sex culture, casual sex has become a normal thing. In fact, a lot of people are open about their lifestyle and they are not stigmatized because they aren’t monogamous. It’s a free world and everyone has the right to do whatever they want with their body, don’t you agree?
Still, just because a lot of people have casual sex it doesn’t mean that it’s right for everyone. There are many things that you need to consider before embarking on this adventure. You need to weigh all the pros and cons and see whether getting regular hookups is the right thing for you.
When you have a casual sex relationship with someone, there is no need for complications. Everything is much simpler because there is no emotion and attachment involved.
You won’t have to worry about what kind of impression you’ve made, whether you’ve gotten your message across the right way, or think about whether you should make the first call or wait for the other person to do so.
When it comes to casual sex, both people can relax, these are simply the rules. In fact, they have to be relaxed because this is the point of the whole shebang. The deal with casual sex is pretty simple, you have intercourse quickly without any commitment, in and out, just like that.
This is why nobody is motivated to play mind games which are almost always present in relationships. Both sides know what they came for and if they stop liking the deal for any reason, they can call it quits, nobody will have to feel like they did something wrong and get into an argument.
Being with someone casually means that you won’t have any expectations from each other. This removes the pressure of having to deliver every time and try to be “on point”. When things are casual, people are relaxed because they don’t expect anything and nothing is expected of them except sex.
This is about letting go and not thinking for once. If you are tired from all the relationships you’ve had and burned out emotionally, having a hookup may be the best thing to relax mentally and get the physical pleasure you need. You can be yourselves or be somebody else, it’s perfectly ok.
Use this opportunity to do what you want to do, experiment, and get weird if that’s your thing. When there is no pressure, both of you will be more open to different things and not be scared about underperforming or anything else.
As society became more open towards the hookup culture , more and more people wanted to start experimenting with their sexuality. This includes experimenting both with your sexual orientation as well as the new “moves” you want to try out in bed. People who prefer casual sex have more sex and generally, they are more open to trying out new things.
Chances are that you’ll learn new things and get the confidence you need to try out some new things you couldn’t do with your previous partners. To really find your sexuality and discover the things you love, you have to experiment and get some practice. Casual sex allows you to do this without being judged by anyone.
While not pursuing anything serious you can experiment and get better at sex . This experience can greatly help you with your relationships because, let’s face it, sex is half of a relationship. No matter how good you “click” with someone on an emotional level, you need to have a good chemistry in bed to maintain a healthy relationship.
Sex is great exercise. Having regular sex will lead to losing fat and tightening your muscles. Overall, sex carries many health benefits that we take for granted. Of course, sex also feels very good because of the various chemicals that are released during it. Sex can also help you alleviate stress – if you have a tough job, it’s a must.
During orgasms, our immune system becomes stronger. At the same time, orgasms trigger chemical releases which increase the level of testosterone and estrogen, which lead to the improved look of your hair, skin texture, and skin tone. Orgasms make you look and feel better and there is no point in waiting for the right person to come along when you could be having a lot of good sex during the waiting period.
Like any other physical activity, sex is also good for your heart health and there are many studies that confirm this. Sex also raises the level of endorphins, putting you in a better mood. At the same time, all exercises including sex can make you calmer. It can also help reduce blood pressure and make you handle stressful situations better.
Let’s face it, we all feel better about ourselves after we “get some”. Sex is a powerful motivator and gives us the confidence we all need in our lives. Especially today when everyone’s depressed and prone to anxiety issues. This is why when you are in a relationship there are “suddenly” a lot of people interested in you and you get hit on often.
This is no coincidence, it’s because of the sex. Naturally, when you feel better physically, it reflects on your mental state. Apart from that, less stress means feeling comfortable with yourself and showing your true face to the world. When you have something, it’s easy to get more of it, this is the simple truth.
When you have casual sex on a regular basis, you won’t feel any pressure when you meet someone else nor will you be frustrated in a physical way. This makes it easier to be yourself and be a bit reckless, which is very attractive. In the end, when you have a “sure thing” concerning sex, it will be easier for you to find someone who is good for a long-term relationship, while it will also be easier to reject people that you know aren’t.
Sex is not just a physical thing between two people. Sorry hardcore hookup people, but it simply isn’t. It can be a fleeting desire in some cases but sometimes it’s not. If you are hooking up with the same person over and over and you are having great sex, there’s a possibility that you will get emotionally involved.
It’s simple math – sex makes you feel great and spending a lot of good time together might make you want more.
At one point you are having a completely sexual thing and the next you find yourself laying in bed and talking about personal stuff for hours. When you are away from your sex buddy, you find yourself thinking about them and being anxious about your next hookup. All these things indicate that you’ve developed feelings for that person and that this is no longer a regular hookup.
Relationships that start this way can be potentially disastrous and you might even end up being hurt at the start by being rejected instantly. The best thing you can do is to lay some ground rules about your thing to avoid getting personal but even this won’t guarantee you anything.
Hookups are not all rainbows and sunshine. Even though we are talking about being more open towards things, sometimes this can lead you into trouble. First of all, when you’ve just met someone you might not know what they are about and there are dangerous people out there. However, the potential dangers don’t just apply to bad people.
Some people might cause you harm unintentionally by infecting you with an STD without them even knowing they have it. Sadly, there are STDs that can be transferred even when using protection. It’s up to you to decide whether or not it’s worth the risk.
At the same time, you might get into some unpleasant situations with jealous exes or current girlfriends or boyfriends of people who decide to cheat with a bit of casual sex on the side. If you are not the type willing to take a risk and feel some adrenaline, then this is probably not the thing for you.
We mentioned earlier that casual sex can give you the confidence and experience you need to get into relationships and help maintain them for a longer time. However, the effects of casual sex can go both ways when it comes to this.
When you constantly maintain “friends with benefits” relationships and casual sex is dominant, you might find it difficult to meet monogamous and traditional people who are looking for a committed relationship. When you get attached to the hookup culture and spend a lot of time in it, you might encounter great difficulties when you try to settle down.
You will be out of the loop when it comes to dating and it might be very difficult to adjust to a whole new game that you haven’t played for a long time. Not only this, but you might have trouble getting emotionally invested and making a commitment, causing others and yourself pain.
Casual sex is just that – sex. You won’t have anyone to share your troubles with, bring to your friend’s wedding, dream about the future, or live with. If you need this in your life, you won’t be able to get it from a sex buddy and trying to do so will only cause you even more harm. Furthermore, forcing relationship things on a fling rarely works out well.
You will definitely feel the social pressure when you see all your friends, high school friends, and exes getting married and “moving on” with their lives. Whoever says otherwise is lying to you. You might work around it but it will affect you. Some people even start feeling cheap and ashamed, as they have nothing to look back upon except countless hookups, most of which are just a blur.
No matter how much you might be into the hookup culture and dismissive of traditional values, the whole thing will get to you at some point. The main focus of casual sex IS sex. Don’t try to turn it into your lifestyle and base your emotions and well-being on it. Make it all about sex and nothing else.
A lot of people frown upon the hookup culture and chances are that some of those people might be your close friends or family. At first, they might be “ok” with what you are doing, but after some time it might start irritating them, especially if something bad happens to you. Sex and relationships are a big part of our lives and it might create distance between you and your friends.
On the other hand, a lot of people have casual sex arrangements with friends, the so-called “ friends with benefits ”. However, if you don’t handle the situation appropriately and develop feelings for each other, it might turn into a “not friends at all” situation.
Even if you try hard to keep it casual, your friendship and sex can complicate things and make your relationship messy to the point where you cannot spend any more time together. Losing friends over sex is not worth it and might cause you to regret it for the rest of your life.
Ultimately, the choice is yours to make. Consider the pros and cons and consider whether you are the type of person who can have casual sex. Hookups aren’t universally good or bad, it varies from person to person and you need to find out what works for you.

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There's nothing wrong with it, if that's what you're into.
4 Surprising Reasons to Have More Sex, According to Science See Gallery
Part of HuffPost Wellness. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
Here's the story about casual sex and your mental health : If you enjoy having casual sex, casual sex might be good for your well-being and happiness. If you don't enjoy having casual sex, it's probably not.
It's really as simple as that. As long as the sex is consensual and safe, there's nothing wrong with it. It's time we ditch the stigma associated with this shared experience, and instead celebrate all of the health benefits associated with a good romp . Learn more about this issue in the Science of Us video above.

April 10, 2015 By Dan Boone 2 Comments
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