Iranian Cleric Accidentally Issues Fatwa Against His Own Beard

At a crowded press conference in Qom, senior cleric Ayatollah Mahmoud al-Rashid stunned reporters by issuing a fatwa declaring "untrimmed beards a sign of moral decay," only to realize moments later that his own chin resembled a feral shrub. Panic ensued as junior clerics began whispering, "Is this a metaphor or is he serious?" According to leaked notes, the cleric had misread a 14th-century commentary on grooming, thinking it condemned beards when it actually praised them as "face curtains of virtue."