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Draymond Green's future as a boxer | The Weigh In
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Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go.
It was my last year at camp I was in the oldest age group (around 15 years old) who were CITS. Feeling like the man, I figured that continuing the fling that I had the summer before camp isn't a great idea, and that I should try to hook up with the younger chicks. Seemed like a great idea at the time. It wasn't. I pretty much wasted all summer hooking up with better looking younger chicks instead of going for the sure thing.
Fast forward to the last night of camp. Banquet. For all that don't know, they bring everyone into the dining hall, and serve us a grease riddled meal of some chicken that when you cut it open, drips melted butter. How they got the butter into this piece of shit chicken still boggles my mind. Now it's "Camp Dance" time, but I am too old for DJ Jazzy Jeff. After flirting with my old fling from the year before, we decide, it's time to rekindle the fire.
We leave the indoor basketball court, and head for my bunk. Open the door, and it's my buddy and another camper girl, no room for us. We then trek 15 minutes down to the CIT Lounge, open the door, my buddy and his girl, no room for us. We head to the counselor lounge, start making out, only to get caught by some counselors, and told to leave. My dream of getting my first BJ is decreasing by the second. My girl says she is tired, and it's not worth it, I say, let's try one more place.
So the smart 15 year old kid I am, we walk to the back of camp, where all the old school buses sit. These school buses are practically rotting, they haven't been used in years. I open the door, and lift my girl into the school bus. Things are getting hot, and my pants are halfway off and ITS FINALLY HAPPENING. Only then, we hear a car drive by, with people yelling in Russian(the maintenance people). My girl looks up says, "This is really really sketchy and creepy, take me home". After 5 solid minutes of trying to convince her that this rotting school bus "is the perfect place for this right now" she gets up, gets dressed and we walk back to the dance.
So to wrap it up, after wasting 45 minutes finding a perfect place, I get my first ever (half) BJ in the back of a rotting old school bus. It was the best day of my life.
It's my freshman year of college. After having a few at a pregame, some friends and I head out to the local bar. Once there, I quickly spot a girl on the dance floor who I had hooked up with a few times. I walk over, we dance and, shortly thereafter, we begin making out.
Fast forward 30 minutes and we're back at my dorm. I unlock my room and we're both ready to get going. There's only one problem: As soon as I opened the door, the smell of shit hit our nostrils. I turn to her, give her a "I don't know what that smell is, but I'm sorry" look, turn on the lights and find that my roommate (who had also gone out that night and wasn't in the room at this point) had taken a big, big dump right in the middle of the floor.
This isn't some nice, clean log, either. This is a stinky smear, some really smelly shit ground into the carpet.
After spending about one second investigating, I turn to the girl and say something along the lines of, "Oh my God, my roommate shit on the floor." We step back into the hallway and I ask her if we could go back to her place. Unfortunately, her roommate is there and we can't. Bummer. Being a gentleman, I offer to walk her back, figuring I could at least make out a little bit more on the way to her place. Surprisingly, she refuses my offer, saying that we can stay in my room, shit on the floor and all. I think I laughed in her face, asked her if she was serious and, after finding out that she was, decided that it might not be the worst idea. I mean, if I was gonna sleep in there, I might as well have some company, right?
Before we get down to business, though, I have to find my roommate and tell him that I need the room for the night. I heard the shower going, so I stepped into the bathroom (which is completely destroyed – shit stains on the sinks and hand dryers, toilet paper everywhere, poop smeared all over both stalls) ask my roommate if he pooped in the room (he groaned in response) and then if I could have the place for the night (another groan – All clear!). So I head back in there with the girl, my roommate grabs some stuff and clears out, the girl and I proceed to get naked and – of course – I can't get it up. Spend about 30 minutes drunkenly eating her out/trying to wake up the little guy but nothing worked. We ended up passing out in the poop room pretty quickly thereafter.
After the girl left the next morning, I go out into the common area to wake up my roommate so he can clean up the room. He doesn't know what happened, but gladly cleans everything up. After laughing about it with him for a while, I decide to hit the shower (not the one he was in the night before), only to find that my shower sandals had shit all over them. Turns out he had shit on those and wiped his ass with the sleeve of my dress shirts. Great stuff. I packed a bag and stayed at a friend's dorm for the next 3 nights. Still friends with the roommate though, actually ended up living in the same building as him all four years of college.
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When I was in college at UW-Madison, I went to visit my best friend for Halloween weekend at UC-Boulder. I'd broken up with my first serious boyfriend several months before and was just starting to feel fully healed, so I decided that that weekend would be an excellent weekend to meet a cute guy and see what transpired.
My best friend, Stephanie, had a group of friends in Boulder that I was pleased to discover were fairly normal people. Dressed as a sheep, I made my way out to the bars with them and began to drink heavily, as I did in those days. I had my eyes on a good-looking guy dressed as Tyler Durden whose name now escapes me. He and I had some interesting political discussions (this was mere days before the 2004 presidential elections), but I blew it when I got too drunk, things weren't happening, and I declared to him and everyone else within earshot, "I'm gonna hook up with someone tonight!" Fail #1.
I began to flirt with another guy, who was dressed as a Domino's delivery man and whose name I do indeed remember: Bob. Bob was unusually tall and I am somewhat unusually short, but we hit it off and by the time someone (I hope whoever it was wasn't too drunk) drove us all home, Bob and I were snuggling in the car and then on the couch of my best friend's living room. We finally made our way up to the bedroom of one of Stephanie's absent roommates to make out. And make out we did! It felt awesome — I hadn't had a romantic or sexual experience of any kind for almost a year. After about half an hour, though, Bob stopped me. He proceeded to tell me that he was "religious" and that what we were doing (making out while fully clothed) was against his religion. My impatient atheist self was speechless and annoyed. I rolled over and went to sleep. Fail #2.
A couple of hours later, I was awoken by Bob getting up to use the bathroom. When he came back to bed he started touching me and trying to make out with me again! I figured, what the hell, this is a drunken hookup anyway, and proceeded to go with the flow. But ten minutes later, Bob was all, "No, no, I can't." Again. Fail #3.
The next time I woke up, it was light outside and Bob was getting dressed. I groggily asked him what time it was (8am) and where he was going. He said, "I'm sorry, I've got to get to church. So long, Madison." Infinite fail.


October 11, 2022 by: Carolyn Droke Twitter

October 4, 2022 by: Carolyn Droke Twitter

September 30, 2022 by: Aaron Williams Twitter
Each Monday, I publish something called the Breaking Bad Power Rankings . It’s pretty self-explanatory: I rank the show’s characters, from Walt to Skyler to This Guy , by how badass they are. Today, I’m tweaking the formula for an entirely different story , one involving a blowjob at an Eminem concert. Here is: the Humanity Power Rankings.
In last place…oh. THERE’S A TIE. Let’s meet everyone, shall we?
This is one of two pictures of Guy and Girl (names intentionally removed) circulating on the Internet. I can’t show the bottom of it, but it’s still the more SFW photo of the two. ( You can find them here. ) They attended an Eminem concert at Slane Castle in Ireland over the weekend, and while there, they engaged in “public fun.” Or as the Irish would say, she leafed his clover. In front of everyone. At an Eminem concert. That’s important to repeat.
Anyway, Girl’s only 17, the age of legal consent in Ireland, but not in the United States, where the photo has gone massively viral. Looking for a good (read: actually terrible) time? Then search the hashtag “#slanegirl” on Twitter. She’s being called a no-good slut, while he’s “THE MAN,” which brings us to our next contestant.
And Pretty Much Everyone Else Involved
A typical tweet about the incident goes like, “Slane Girl getting sympathy in the papers…What for being a slut?” while “defenders,” so to speak, are replying with, “Nice bit of massive slut-shaming, Twitter. Those using #slanegirl hashtag to bully a young woman should be f*cking embarrassed.” Oh yeah, and now she’s in the hospital.
The pictures went viral after being posted on social networking sites, causing them to even trend around the world on Twitter. But it has since emerged that the girl is understood to be just 17 and, according to reports, she has been so distressed by the online images that she has had to be sedated in hospital. Her family are also said to be distraught. ( Via )
So. What did we learn here? Well: be you guy, girl, or whatever, DON’T DO THIS KIND OF SH*T IN PUBLIC. Guy isn’t a legend and Girl isn’t slut, but I do think they have something in common: they’re both idiots.

By Audrey Fine Published: Mar 10, 2008
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"One day I was at the bus stop alone with this supercute guy who I really liked. I thought that he hated me, but boy was I so wrong! Well, we were just standing there getting bored, and before I knew it, he kissed me! I was in total shock and couldn't move or talk until the bus came! That sure was a great way to start off the day!"
"So, there was this girl Emily in my freshman class who was SO conceited. Seriously, she worshipped the ground she walked on. I didn't like her because she's the school slut, but everyone else seemed to think she was so nice. Well, I recently found out that she was addicted to drugs and sex. I felt so bad for not liking her after that."
"I went to the movies with an old friend, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's friend. I thought her BF was really hot, and he must have thought I was too because he kept staring at me. Before the movie her BF said he wanted to buy us popcorn, so I went with him. Right before we went back into the theater, we started making out! Right at that moment, my friend walked out the door and saw us. She was so mad and didn't speak to me EVER again. Perhaps we should've picked a more private place to make out!"
"My parents and sister were out of the house one night, so I invited over this boy I had a crush on to watch a movie. There happened to be a thunderstorm that night, so right in the middle of the movie the power went out. I got up to get a flashlight in my closet, and when I got back, I tripped over one of my (many) shoes and landed on the bed right next to him! So we start kissing, you know, just the innocent stuff, but it quickly got steamier! Before we knew it, we heard my sister's car in the driveway, so I had to put on my shirt and he had to get his shoes on and make it to the back door in lightning speed! It was so devious!"
"Once when my parents went away for the weekend, my older sister had to baby-sit. Well, in the middle of night I found her in the pool with her boyfriend making out. It was going pretty far when my parents walked through the door! They asked me where my sister was, and I pointed outside. My mom caught them in the pool, so they never let her baby-sit again!"
"One day I was at my friend's house riding on her sister's skateboard when I crashed into her sister's puzzle. We tried putting it back together but couldn't, so she decided to lie and tell her mom the cat did it. I was totally against it and wanted to tell the truth, but I knew it risked our friendship. So her mom and sister still think the darn cat did it!"
"One day at school my friends and I were playing around with a bottle of Victoria's Secret perfume spray during recess. A few of my friends had the bright idea that I go up and spray the perfume on my crush. Well, I did, but it went right into his eyes. Oh no!!! I could not believe it. He doesn't hate me, but he hasn't been paying much attention to me either — just in case I have another bottle of spray!"
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AIR WE GO You've been using your Air Fryer wrong & it's why it's such a nightmare to clean
STYLISH SUPPORT I'm almost 60 - bikini & bra haul proves you're never too old to show off
HAIR RAISING You’ve been showering all wrong…my method means you’ll never smell bad again
SPIN TO WIN People share washing machine cycle tip to dry clothes without a tumble dryer
These seemingly saucy pictures will make you double take but on closer inspection there's nothing weird going on at all
THESE seemingly saucy pictures will make you double take but on closer inspection there's nothing weird going on at all.
If you've got a bit of a dirty mind, you may well have thought you were looking at some x-rated images.
But in fact, each is a strange optical illusion creating a naughty impression.
There's a pair of shoes looking like the seductive shape of a woman's back and a woman whose bath looks very cheeky indeed.
See if you spotted what was really going on straight away or if you were distracted by the apparent rudeness!
Here are a few of our favourites...

In related news, these 10 hilarious photographs could prove that YOU have a dirty mind.
And is this the rudest hotel room sign ever ? The optical illusion has the internet in hysterics.
You’ve been showering all wrong…my method means you’ll never smell bad again
People share washing machine cycle tip to dry clothes without a tumble dryer
People say they’ll never put their lights on again after LADBaby shares a hack
I’m travellers’ go-to make-up artist - they pay me £1k & like slap on babies too
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