Infj Male And Enfp Female Relationship

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Why is an ENFP female the best match for an INFJ male?
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Answered 3 years ago · Author has 168 answers and 334.5K answer views
First of all, I'm gonna say that it works either way- ENFPs in general will be pretty compatible with INFJs, with any gender combination. Also, this is all pretty theoretical and of course, there are many outliers. This is simply a theoretical match-up that in my experience, has worked almost every time, but others may see it differently.
ENFPs and INFJs are supposedly compatible due to their specific similarities and differences of their cognitive function stack- namely, they have the same process stack, but they are oriented differently. Basically, ENFPs have Ne-Fi-Te-Si, whereas INFJs have N
First of all, I'm gonna say that it works either way- ENFPs in general will be pretty compatible with INFJs, with any gender combination. Also, this is all pretty theoretical and of course, there are many outliers. This is simply a theoretical match-up that in my experience, has worked almost every time, but others may see it differently.
ENFPs and INFJs are supposedly compatible due to their specific similarities and differences of their cognitive function stack- namely, they have the same process stack, but they are oriented differently. Basically, ENFPs have Ne-Fi-Te-Si, whereas INFJs have Ni-Fe-Ti-Se. What this generally results in is INFJs and ENFPs having very different thought patterns, but ending up in the same conclusion. This works in many ways: intellectually, emotionally, and mentally they cover each other's blind spots.
For example, when my INFJ friend and I work together in English, I work on the examples or themes/motifs and she works on the “thesis” (what I call the basic premise) of our project. This uses my Ne where her Ni can be iffy, and it uses her Ni where my Ne might not be able to focus on a single view.
Emotionally and relationship-wise, it works because in many ways, they are almost negatives of each other, even though they are both NFs. ENFPs are the most introverted extroverts, while INFJs are the most extroverted introverts. We are both charismatic, but ENFPs focus on their strict morals and passion for an idea to rile a crowd, while INFJs use their vision for the future and their instinctive knowledge of how people work to rile people up. Both are insightful people-wise, but where ENFPs tend to use that in somewhat less lofty goals when they're younger (for example, my rampant manipulation of others) whereas INFJs have a much lesser effect of such in their childhood.
All in all, they're similar enough in behavior and abilities that they enjoy spending time together and work well together, and they're different enough that it's fun to talk and explore each other’s differences and we work effectively and efficiently.
Related Questions (More Answers Below)
From the point of view of a male INFJ, how does the romantic relationship between a male INFJ and a female ENFP usually flow?
What do INFJ males appreciate on ENFP females?
How can a male INFJ avoid hurting a female ENFP?
From the point of view of a female ENFP, how does the romantic relationship between a male INFJ and a female ENFP usually flow?
Do INFJs and ENFPs do well in romantic relationships? How common are arguments? What are some positives and negatives?
Updated 2 years ago · Author has 504 answers and 2.4M answer views
Well, ENFPs are actually one of the best types for INFJs but ENTPs are also a great match. ENFP females and INFJ males are very similar in their core personality since they are both intuitive feelers. These personality types thrive on experiencing deep human connection, being compassionate, and trying to make a difference in the world. They are humanitarian and idealistic in their broad overview of what they think the world should be like. They are both unconventional daydreamers and visionaries who have far-sighted vision.
ENFPs and INFJs are like magnets because they fit the-opposites-attract
Well, ENFPs are actually one of the best types for INFJs but ENTPs are also a great match. ENFP females and INFJ males are very similar in their core personality since they are both intuitive feelers. These personality types thrive on experiencing deep human connection, being compassionate, and trying to make a difference in the world. They are humanitarian and idealistic in their broad overview of what they think the world should be like. They are both unconventional daydreamers and visionaries who have far-sighted vision.
ENFPs and INFJs are like magnets because they fit the-opposites-attract description, while also have several similarities. They share zero cognitive functions, but they are both dominant and inferior perceivers and auxillary and tertiary Judgers. The ENFP extroverts what they INFJ introverts and the latter does the direct opposite. They are both dominant intuitives, auxillary feelers, tertiary thinkers, and inferior sensors. They are both abstract and big picture analysts with pure wit, heart, compassion, and Intelligence.
These types are also highly compatiable because of their perceiving versus judging difference. The ENFP is admittedly more spontaneous, open-minded, and laid-back, so they can help the INFJ to be more flexible. On the other hand, the INFJ is structured, goal-oriented, and determined, so they can help the ENFP to be more organized.
From the point of view of a male INFJ, how does the romantic relationship between a male INFJ and a female ENFP usually flow?
What do INFJ males appreciate on ENFP females?
How can a male INFJ avoid hurting a female ENFP?
From the point of view of a female ENFP, how does the romantic relationship between a male INFJ and a female ENFP usually flow?
Do INFJs and ENFPs do well in romantic relationships? How common are arguments? What are some positives and negatives?
What is it like being an ENFP and falling in love?
Why are INFJs and ENFPs supposedly the “perfect match” for each other?
Male ENFPs, do you know a female INFJ? What do you think of her?
Can an ENFP and an INFJ be just friends without it turning sexual (male and female, not that it matters)?
How do INFJs & ENFPs match up as friends or lovers?
I'm a male INFJ and I was dating an ENFP, and it didn't work out. What, when and where, exactly, did it go wrong?
What does it look and feel like when an ENFP is in love with an INFJ?
I just spoke to an ENFP and I felt like the best version of myself. I’m INFJ, why is that?
Any INFJs who have had dating experience with an ENFP?
What can I do to keep the relationship thriving with my INFJ other (female) as an ENFP (male)? What are some needs that INFJ needs to be met?

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Hello all -
I am so well aware that this topic has been beaten to death, but I do need some guidance.

I have connected with an INFJ male. Over the years we have developed such a wonderful relationship that includes all night conversations (a lot of them, at times nightly) about anything and nothing at all, playful teasing, him initiating hugs, high fives, inside jokes and just a chemistry between us that is so strong if other people are around I will intentionally avoid him because I am concerned they will notice. I can feel him watching me sometimes when I am not looking. I can feel him watching me for a reaction when someone is talking to me. We always hold each other's gaze and you INFJs... the depth in your eyes is at times startling. Sometimes when we make eye contact it's intense and trance like - like the snake in Disney's Robin Hood. I (the ENFP) am the first to look away after 5+ seconds but when I look back at him, he never turned away. But I am an eye contact person - it's how I read people.
When we do get a chance to catch up, he always wants to hear about what's new and insists I keep in touch with updates. If I am not as talkative in the group (I get introverted) he will actually pull me into the convo and is always wondering what I am thinking. He's made multiple comments about how people don't usually have such deep thoughts as I do. I can't remember what all we did talk about but he does bring up topics randomly when we are talking - even months later. He has sometimes call me by my childhood nickname that only my family and closest friends have used - I don't even know how he heard it. He does activities with me and we laugh the ENTIRE time. He has opened up to me about a lot of things and one night even cried for hours to me... I had cried earlier about something else (I believe I heard him sniffling but didn't dare look - sometimes I can feel him looking while I talk and I can't look) He thinks I am hilarious, has made some subtle compliments (I am an insomniac and he tells me I never look tired and always look good) notices what I wear, has noticed if I did something to my hair, etc. Will compliment it if it's clear I put effort into it.
Here is the kicker... I am very much taken and he's best friends with my s/o. I can't think of him in any other way. I don't think he's physically attracted to me anyway. But... there is a show everyone says the lead reminds them of me - when I asked him if he saw it, he got flustered and said he started it but couldn't continue because she's sexual and he can't think of me that way. Fine, but the response was kind of dramatic. My feelings weren't hurt - I understood, but it caught me off guard.
There has been a 180 in him since September. One night he was so chivalrous - he insisted on a big hug as soon as I walked into the room and helping me (I was injured) since my husband wasn't getting up. When we were alone in the other room he turned to me and said "you can do better" I laughed him off and he said "no, you can do better"... I blew him off again and he turned and said 'no really, you can do better" then continued helping me... That night was full of those looks you share with someone that feel like it's us vs. them. After that night, he kind of went cold on me. I feel like he ignores me. Times when we would sit there talking he is now on his phone, which is something he never really did. Our all night convos never include our phones.

So in reading some of the similar forums, I know this behavior can be because he views me as a friend and he's protective of me. I hope that is the case since I don't want anyone to get hurt. It could be flirty, but like the ENFP type - and I have struggled - it can be misconstrued. Also, based only on INFJ personality, I assume he wouldn't betray his best friend because he'd be concerned about messing up the harmony between us all. I am hoping we can continue to grow our friendship since my access to people who have deep conversations with me is down to him and one other person and that other person is not usually available

If you suspect this is romantic, any guidance on what I can do to make sure I don't hurt him? I was going to ignore it, but reading how sensitive an INFJ can be, if there are feelings... maybe it's not something I can do anything about, but in moving forward what should I be mindful of?
I care so much about him and feel so lucky to be part of his life... What's your read?

thank you all, sorry about the novel <3
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Yes it's romantic.

My advice is that this isn't worth the risk if you care at all about your husband or your marriage.

I'm sorry that this would mean that you have to drop a friend that you get on so well with, but lines have already been crossed and the trajectory of this friendship, if it continues, is only going to become even more emotionally intense.

This INFJ has already betrayed his 'friend' with the 'you can do better' comment, and it's worth pointing out that people who poach are also more likely to cheat, should you leave your husband for him.

I suspect that you already knew how wrong this friendship was, and that you yourself are denying your feelings for him.

You have a few options, each with their own ethical value:

Most Right
1) Tell your husband what you have told us, and discuss with him what to do about your friendship. End the friendship and eliminate all risks to your marriage.

2) Have a frank discussion with your friend about your concerns. End the friendship and eliminate all risks to your marriage.

3) Tell your husband what you have told us, and discuss with him what to do about your friendship. Maintain the friendship and its concomitant risks to your marriage.

4) Have a frank discussion with your friend about your concerns. Agree to reduce the intensity of the friendship, but understand that there is a significant risk of this backfiring, as feelings can grow in separation.

5) Have a frank discussion with your friend about your concerns. Maintain the friendship with the risks understood.

6) Continue the friendship as if there are no risks.
Most Wrong


What I would do is (1), and if you're worried in any form about this, then you understand on a visceral level that what you've already been doing is wrong. This is already an emotional affair and if you don't feel guilty about it, then there's something very wrong with your moral compass.
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So my husband has a friend who went through a bad divorce and seemed to develop a closeness with me after. Because he talked to me about it and hung out with us a lot then. There was a little while when he said and did some questionable things but I didn't make a big deal and neither did my husband. I brushed it off and it's not gone any further. We are still good friends. But I also never had a crush on him or felt deeply for him. He's always been a friend. I do think it's worth examining why you have feelings for him. Maybe there are things to work on with your husband if you want to stay together.
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Girl don't be in denial! There is no doubt this is romantic! It sounds like he's fully aware of his feelings and is trying to distance. So let him. He must know if it carries on it means the end of his friendship with your SO and possibly you. Doesn't make anyone a bad guy.
I do think it's worth examining why you have feelings for him. Maybe there are things to work on with your husband if you want to stay together.
Basically he liked you and now he's trying to not like you while also maintaining peace among everyone.
He's probably going a bit insane so just don't lead him on in any way, draw clear lines and show that you are comfortable.
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Basically he liked you and now he's trying to not like you while also maintaining peace among everyone.
He's probably going a bit insane so just don't lead him on in any way, draw clear lines and show that you are comfortable.
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Girl don't be in denial! There is no doubt this is romantic! It sounds like he's fully aware of his feelings and is trying to distance. So let him. He must know if it carries on it means the end of his friendship with your SO and possibly you. Doesn't make anyone a bad guy.
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Oh my husband and I have things to work on, but he's my person. When i picture getting old it is with him, but I do wish I had a stronger emotional component to it, which is hard. We are so in sync otherwise and I knew it from the moment we met.
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ENFPs and INFJs can have pretty amazing friendships. One of my closest friends is an ENFP. Function theory at play here. The two types have inverse functions in the same order. Ni/Fe/Ti/Se and Ne/Fi/Te/Si - they play well together.
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That is good to hear! I agree with @Daustus that scheduling some 1:1 date nights with your husband is a good idea. Spend quality time without friends. Do something new and fun and make memories with just the two of you. Maybe ask him questions about things you've never really talked about. Sometimes we just get so used to our spouse we take them for granted. Been there!!! But I decided one day to ask my husband some kind of light hearted questions and it led to really interesting conversations. Even just sending our son to his grandparents so we can go out or stay in together makes a big difference. Quality alone time is very important.
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What does "going a bit insane" look like with an INFJ?
When i can find someone who can go anywhere in t
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