Infj Male And Enfp Female
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Infj Male And Enfp Female
Joined: Jun 17, 2020 Threads: 1 Messages: 18 Featured Threads: 1 Likes Received: 45 Trophy Points: 757 Gender: Female MBTI: ENFP
Joined: Aug 5, 2018 Threads: 98 Messages: 14,736 Featured Threads: 23 Likes Received: 98,406 Trophy Points: 4,256 Gender: Male Location: Perfidious Albion MBTI: INTJ Enneagram: 1w2
Hello all - I am so well aware that this topic has been beaten to death, but I do need some guidance. I have connected with an INFJ male. Over the years we have developed such a wonderful relationship that includes all night conversations (a lot of them, at times nightly) about anything and nothing at all, playful teasing, him initiating hugs, high fives, inside jokes and just a chemistry between us that is so strong if other people are around I will intentionally avoid him because I am concerned they will notice. I can feel him watching me sometimes when I am not looking. I can feel him watching me for a reaction when someone is talking to me. We always hold each other's gaze and you INFJs... the depth in your eyes is at times startling. Sometimes when we make eye contact it's intense and trance like - like the snake in Disney's Robin Hood. I (the ENFP) am the first to look away after 5+ seconds but when I look back at him, he never turned away. But I am an eye contact person - it's how I read people. When we do get a chance to catch up, he always wants to hear about what's new and insists I keep in touch with updates. If I am not as talkative in the group (I get introverted) he will actually pull me into the convo and is always wondering what I am thinking. He's made multiple comments about how people don't usually have such deep thoughts as I do. I can't remember what all we did talk about but he does bring up topics randomly when we are talking - even months later. He has sometimes call me by my childhood nickname that only my family and closest friends have used - I don't even know how he heard it. He does activities with me and we laugh the ENTIRE time. He has opened up to me about a lot of things and one night even cried for hours to me... I had cried earlier about something else (I believe I heard him sniffling but didn't dare look - sometimes I can feel him looking while I talk and I can't look) He thinks I am hilarious, has made some subtle compliments (I am an insomniac and he tells me I never look tired and always look good) notices what I wear, has noticed if I did something to my hair, etc. Will compliment it if it's clear I put effort into it. Here is the kicker... I am very much taken and he's best friends with my s/o. I can't think of him in any other way. I don't think he's physically attracted to me anyway. But... there is a show everyone says the lead reminds them of me - when I asked him if he saw it, he got flustered and said he started it but couldn't continue because she's sexual and he can't think of me that way. Fine, but the response was kind of dramatic. My feelings weren't hurt - I understood, but it caught me off guard. There has been a 180 in him since September. One night he was so chivalrous - he insisted on a big hug as soon as I walked into the room and helping me (I was injured) since my husband wasn't getting up. When we were alone in the other room he turned to me and said "you can do better" I laughed him off and he said "no, you can do better"... I blew him off again and he turned and said 'no really, you can do better" then continued helping me... That night was full of those looks you share with someone that feel like it's us vs. them. After that night, he kind of went cold on me. I feel like he ignores me. Times when we would sit there talking he is now on his phone, which is something he never really did. Our all night convos never include our phones. So in reading some of the similar forums, I know this behavior can be because he views me as a friend and he's protective of me. I hope that is the case since I don't want anyone to get hurt. It could be flirty, but like the ENFP type - and I have struggled - it can be misconstrued. Also, based only on INFJ personality, I assume he wouldn't betray his best friend because he'd be concerned about messing up the harmony between us all. I am hoping we can continue to grow our friendship since my access to people who have deep conversations with me is down to him and one other person and that other person is not usually available If you suspect this is romantic, any guidance on what I can do to make sure I don't hurt him? I was going to ignore it, but reading how sensitive an INFJ can be, if there are feelings... maybe it's not something I can do anything about, but in moving forward what should I be mindful of? I care so much about him and feel so lucky to be part of his life... What's your read? thank you all, sorry about the novel <3
What is your profession? Being a good man. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 11:5
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Joined: Jan 11, 2009 Threads: 143 Messages: 15,447 Featured Threads: 11 Likes Received: 35,249 Trophy Points: 1,387 Location: fantasy world MBTI: infp Enneagram: 9w8 sp/sx
Joined: Jan 11, 2009 Threads: 143 Messages: 15,447 Featured Threads: 11 Likes Received: 35,249 Trophy Points: 1,387 Location: fantasy world MBTI: infp Enneagram: 9w8 sp/sx
Joined: Sep 28, 2008 Threads: 249 Messages: 37,981 Featured Threads: 19 Likes Received: 208,249 Trophy Points: 4,271 Gender: Male MBTI: INFJ Enneagram: 954 so/sx
I am the child of coyote and bandito ~ G.D . One of the most responsible things you can do as an adult is to become more of a child ~ Dr Wayne W Dyer I-33 N-33 F-33 J-33
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Joined: Jun 17, 2020 Threads: 1 Messages: 18 Featured Threads: 1 Likes Received: 45 Trophy Points: 757 Gender: Female MBTI: ENFP
Yes it's romantic. My advice is that this isn't worth the risk if you care at all about your husband or your marriage. I'm sorry that this would mean that you have to drop a friend that you get on so well with, but lines have already been crossed and the trajectory of this friendship, if it continues, is only going to become even more emotionally intense. This INFJ has already betrayed his 'friend' with the 'you can do better' comment, and it's worth pointing out that people who poach are also more likely to cheat, should you leave your husband for him. I suspect that you already knew how wrong this friendship was, and that you yourself are denying your feelings for him. You have a few options, each with their own ethical value: Most Right 1) Tell your husband what you have told us, and discuss with him what to do about your friendship. End the friendship and eliminate all risks to your marriage. 2) Have a frank discussion with your friend about your concerns. End the friendship and eliminate all risks to your marriage. 3) Tell your husband what you have told us, and discuss with him what to do about your friendship. Maintain the friendship and its concomitant risks to your marriage. 4) Have a frank discussion with your friend about your concerns. Agree to reduce the intensity of the friendship, but understand that there is a significant risk of this backfiring, as feelings can grow in separation. 5) Have a frank discussion with your friend about your concerns. Maintain the friendship with the risks understood. 6) Continue the friendship as if there are no risks. Most Wrong What I would do is (1), and if you're worried in any form about this, then you understand on a visceral level that what you've already been doing is wrong. This is already an emotional affair and if you don't feel guilty about it, then there's something very wrong with your moral compass.
Joined: Jun 17, 2020 Threads: 1 Messages: 18 Featured Threads: 1 Likes Received: 45 Trophy Points: 757 Gender: Female MBTI: ENFP
So my husband has a friend who went through a bad divorce and seemed to develop a closeness with me after. Because he talked to me about it and hung out with us a lot then. There was a little while when he said and did some questionable things but I didn't make a big deal and neither did my husband. I brushed it off and it's not gone any further. We are still good friends. But I also never had a crush on him or felt deeply for him. He's always been a friend. I do think it's worth examining why you have feelings for him. Maybe there are things to work on with your husband if you want to stay together.
Joined: Feb 13, 2019 Threads: 5 Messages: 2,018 Featured Threads: 3 Likes Received: 12,694 Trophy Points: 1,872 Gender: Male Location: USA MBTI: INFJ Enneagram: 4w5
Girl don't be in denial! There is no doubt this is romantic! It sounds like he's fully aware of his feelings and is trying to distance. So let him. He must know if it carries on it means the end of his friendship with your SO and possibly you. Doesn't make anyone a bad guy.
I do think it's worth examining why you have feelings for him. Maybe there are things to work on with your husband if you want to stay together.
Basically he liked you and now he's trying to not like you while also maintaining peace among everyone. He's probably going a bit insane so just don't lead him on in any way, draw clear lines and show that you are comfortable.
Joined: Feb 13, 2019 Threads: 5 Messages: 2,018 Featured Threads: 3 Likes Received: 12,694 Trophy Points: 1,872 Gender: Male Location: USA MBTI: INFJ Enneagram: 4w5
Joined: Jun 17, 2020 Threads: 1 Messages: 18 Featured Threads: 1 Likes Received: 45 Trophy Points: 757 Gender: Female MBTI: ENFP
Basically he liked you and now he's trying to not like you while also maintaining peace among everyone. He's probably going a bit insane so just don't lead him on in any way, draw clear lines and show that you are comfortable.
Joined: Jun 17, 2020 Threads: 1 Messages: 18 Featured Threads: 1 Likes Received: 45 Trophy Points: 757 Gender: Female MBTI: ENFP
Girl don't be in denial! There is no doubt this is romantic! It sounds like he's fully aware of his feelings and is trying to distance. So let him. He must know if it carries on it means the end of his friendship with your SO and possibly you. Doesn't make anyone a bad guy.
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Joined: Jan 11, 2009 Threads: 143 Messages: 15,447 Featured Threads: 11 Likes Received: 35,249 Trophy Points: 1,387 Location: fantasy world MBTI: infp Enneagram: 9w8 sp/sx
Oh my husband and I have things to work on, but he's my person. When i picture getting old it is with him, but I do wish I had a stronger emotional component to it, which is hard. We are so in sync otherwise and I knew it from the moment we met.
Joined: Jun 17, 2020 Threads: 1 Messages: 18 Featured Threads: 1 Likes Received: 45 Trophy Points: 757 Gender: Female MBTI: ENFP
ENFPs and INFJs can have pretty amazing friendships. One of my closest friends is an ENFP. Function theory at play here. The two types have inverse functions in the same order. Ni/Fe/Ti/Se and Ne/Fi/Te/Si - they play well together.
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Joined: Jun 17, 2020 Threads: 1 Messages: 18 Featured Threads: 1 Likes Received: 45 Trophy Points: 757 Gender: Female MBTI: ENFP
That is good to hear! I agree with @Daustus that scheduling some 1:1 date nights with your husband is a good idea. Spend quality time without friends. Do something new and fun and make memories with just the two of you. Maybe ask him questions about things you've never really talked about. Sometimes we just get so used to our spouse we take them for granted. Been there!!! But I decided one day to ask my husband some kind of light hearted questions and it led to really interesting conversations. Even just sending our son to his grandparents so we can go out or stay in together makes a big difference. Quality alone time is very important.
Joined: Feb 13, 2019 Threads: 5 Messages: 2,018 Featured Threads: 3 Likes Received: 12,694 Trophy Points: 1,872 Gender: Male Location: USA MBTI: INFJ Enneagram: 4w5
What does "going a bit insane" look like with an INFJ?
When i can find someone who can go anywhere in the conversation with me, I'm intrigued. It's not often.
Joined: Sep 28, 2008 Threads: 249 Messages: 37,981 Featured Threads: 19 Likes Received: 208,249 Trophy Points: 4,271 Gender: Male MBTI: INFJ Enneagram: 954 so/sx
I go into full retreat from the world mode. Or Hitler is another real life example.
I am the child of coyote and bandito ~ G.D . One of the most responsible things you can do as an adult is to become more of a child ~ Dr Wayne W Dyer I-33 N-33 F-33 J-33
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Joined: Sep 28, 2008 Threads: 249 Messages: 37,981 Featured Threads: 19 Likes Received: 208,249 Trophy Points: 4,271 Gender: Male MBTI: INFJ Enneagram: 954 so/sx
What does "going a bit insane" look like with an INFJ?
I am the child of coyote and bandito ~ G.D . One of the most responsible things you can do as an adult is to become more of a child ~ Dr Wayne W Dyer I-33 N-33 F-33 J-33
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Joined: Feb 13, 2019 Threads: 5 Messages: 2,018 Featured Threads: 3 Likes Received: 12,694 Trophy Points: 1,872 Gender: Male Location: USA MBTI: INFJ Enneagram: 4w5
Ah yes, that sweet bunker life. Just before the end .
Joined: Apr 24, 2018 Threads: 61 Messages: 2,830 Featured Threads: 34 Likes Received: 22,722 Trophy Points: 1,942 Gender: Male MBTI: INTP Enneagram: 5w4
Or Hitler is another real life example.
Oh look at me I'm an introvert and I have nine thousand friends
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Joined: Jun 17, 2020 Threads: 1 Messages: 18 Featured Threads: 1 Likes Received: 45 Trophy Points: 757 Gender: Female MBTI: ENFP
I go into full retreat from the world mode. Or Hitler is another real life example. Well you've come to the right place.
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Why the ENFP and INFJ Are Perfect for Each... - PairedLife - Relationships
[ INFJ ] - INFJ male and ENFP female | INFJ Forum
[ ENFP ] - INFP female + ENFP male = woah chemistry | Personality Cafe
So, an ENFP male and an INFJ female . How would that relationship work out?
INFJ male / INTP female pairings : infj
Discussion Starter
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#1
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Sep 23, 2011
I’ve had extreme chemistry with two ENFP’s in my lifetime. *sigh*
I seem very reserved, very innocent but I’m fiery, sassy on the inside and ENFPs bring it out in me.
There seems to be a friendly/ flirty rapport that builds whenever I’ve come into contact with a male ENFP.
It’s great.
I always get the sense they’ve “singled” me out.
In my experience the attraction between INFP female/ ENFP male is instantaneous and natural.
It just flows nicely.
They tend to be masculine/handsome, and able to flirt in a playful way... so I don’t feel smothered or threatened.
What do you ENFP males think of INFP females in particular.
What have your experiences been?
I'd just like to say this also works between INFP guys and ENFP girls, in my experience. C:
It was the easiest attraction I've ever had.
9 w 1 . 7 w 6 . 4 w 5 . S o / S x
It could work. This one girl I knew in high school had to have been an infp. Very kind and definitely enjoyed my time with her.
I wish I had more infps in my life. I do have two infjs in my life though but she's in her 40s and married and the other is a hippie!
9w8 - 7w8 - 3w2 So/Sp
Rocking ENFP land
ha
my experiences are the same, with me on the other end.. i single out INFP girls and try to bring out their flirty/bantery side. i dunno, INFP women have a certain energy to them.
A bit confused here. Your avatar says INFJ, so you're speaking about someone other than yourself ? Either way it wouldn't surprise me ENFP would be naturally attracted to both the INFP/INFJ female.
so/sx
4w5
Without Fi the world would never experience what it means to love deeply. Fi is the beginning and the end of everything magical and mystical
<3 Johnathan Sweethard <3
What do you guys think of the same relationship but with the genders switched? like... INFP male, and ENFP female...
"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget."
-Come September Speech
I’ve had extreme chemistry with two ENFP’s in my lifetime. *sigh*
I seem very reserved, very innocent but I’m fiery, sassy on the inside and ENFPs bring it out in me.
There seems to be a friendly/ flirty rapport that builds whenever I’ve come into contact with a male ENFP.
It’s great.
I always get the sense they’ve “singled” me out.
In my experience the attraction between INFP female/ ENFP male is instantaneous and natural.
It just flows nicely.
They tend to be masculine/handsome, and able to flirt in a playful way... so I don’t feel smothered or threatened.
What do you ENFP males think of INFP females in particular.
What have your experiences been?
"I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult" - EB White
"We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck them" - John Waters
crede quod habes, et habes
All hearts step to a funeral beat
Tritype: 2w3, 9w8, 7w6 sx/so
MBTI: ENFP
I'd just like to say this also works between INFP guys and ENFP girls, in my experience. C:
It was the easiest attraction I've ever had.
What do you guys think of the same relationship but with the genders switched? like... INFP male, and ENFP female...
There does seem to be this weird energy between the two types. I know I love the way ENFP's bring out the best in me. They have a way of making me feel like I can do anything. I've written about this before in another post (of course I don't remember where...) but basically it's like they take all the compassion and empathy I feel for the rest of the world and push it back onto me. ENFP's make me feel like I matter. *blush*
I can't speak from experience for the other side, but I would imagine that part of what makes INFP's appealing to ENFP's is the fact that we have similar outlooks, and one thing ENFP's (at least the ones in my life) experience a lot is the frustration that people don't understand them. I find that I'm usually able to grasp their perspective and, more importantly, even if I don't I make the effort to.
Or maybe it's our deep, mysterious aura that's so enticing? One time an ENFP told me "I'm all about the chase, but with you I feel like I've never quite caught you. No matter what, you keep me guessing." Could that be the secret? :wink:
"At the end of my suffering there was a door.”
--Louise Glück
This thread is making me a little bit sad and frustrated, because I'm an ENFP female who knows an INFP male, and we would almost certainly be dating if the issue of distance wasn't in the way. It's probably the best early chemistry I've ever had with a guy, to be honest. He thinks I'm crazy but great (or as he put it, "remarkable but kind of strange"!) and I think he's just the sweetest, smartest, most gentle soul. We share a lot of quirks, have similar ways of thinking, and are sort of on the same page in a way I've rarely found with anyone else. So...yes, ENFPs and INFPs share great chemistry!
I've had that undeniably electric connection with two different ENFPs. There's just something about them that is so...attractive. One was a short-term fling and the other is my current boyfriend (I finally decided on his type). Both gave me an adrenaline rush of a lifetime that hasn't been present with other types so far. They seem to have this extraordinary ability to make you feel great about yourself.
I love INFPs and am attracted to them. I suspect my former RA was one. After one of the worst nights of my life (our college's homecoming dance) he walked with me in the freezing cold for an hour , just talking.
He knew EXACTLY what to say and do to comfort me, which is soo rare for men. By the end of the night I felt almost completely better.
I have to admit it..... I love the crap out of you.
I have never had any romantic feelings for any of the (many) INFPs I know but we do have ridiculously friendship chemistry. This does not mean I would ever turn a romantic relationship away just because it was with an INFP though.
I tend to get along with just about every INFP I know <3 My best friend happens to be one.
INFPs are alright (read: awesome)
You were once wild here. Don't let them tame you.
My boyfriend is an ENFP From the time I met him, I just felt this instant connection with him, like I knew he was meant to be part of my life. I felt so, so comfortable around him and I barely even knew him!
I have spent some time with some female INFPs, but it never "clicked." I much prefer me the social awkwardness that is an INTJ <3
I'm dating an INFP woman, and we've been together for about a year now.. Heh.. CHEMISTRY is an understatement..
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"But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother." - 1984
I dated an INFP once. It didn't work because of distance but we remained very good friends. Definitely one of my favorite types! It is my prediction for myself that if I marry one day it will be to either an INFP or ENTJ
i believe your right, i don't date though, but i do have an enfp best friend. we have been friends for years ever since we were little through middle school, high school and now. i am so shy and reserved, but get us both together and you wouldn't recognize me lol. enfps bring out that silly, fun, energetic side of me that is otherwise dormant. i think its great. also we get along despite the fact that we do have slightly different views on things, and disagree on quite a few things. but there is still enough common ground for us to be best friends
im not sure, but i think that most types which share the last three letters like for example NFP would get along, because one would be an introvert and the other an extrovert, the differences between the two would compliment the other.
My boyfriend is an ENFP From the time I met him, I just felt this instant connection with him, like I knew he was meant to be part of my life. I felt so, so comfortable around him and I barely even knew him!
In no attempt to derail this threat, addressing both situations would be nice. I've recently started a relationship with an ENFP female and I'd be curious to know about that type of chemistry as well. It's actually going pretty swell thus far :kitteh:. But I am happy for your similar chemistry as well, OP!
"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget."
-Come September Speech
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