Indian Cuckold Story

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Indian Cuckold Story
Acting on adulterous fantasies may strengthen a relationship, as counterintuitive as it may sound.
Story highlights Cuckolding has become fetishized into a powerful sexual fantasy for some Sometimes just sharing a sexy thought can be arousing enough -- you don't have to follow through
But, according to a recent study by David Ley, Justin Lehmiller and the writer Dan Savage, acting on cuckolding fantasies can be a largely positive experience for many couples, and hardly a sign of weakness.
References to cuckolding appear in literature as early as the 13th century, usually in the form of male characters who fear that their child has been sired by another man during an act of infidelity. Today, however, cuckolding has become fetishized into a powerful sexual fantasy for some men, who get aroused by the idea of their romantic partner engaging in sexual activity with someone else. Women also share this fantasy, but less so than men.
"This fantasy has been around as long as marriage and sexuality," said Ley, whose book "Insatiable Wives" addresses cuckolding in heterosexual couples. "But we're hearing more and more about it these days, and more people are rejecting the social stigma against this fantasy."
Indeed, the numbers suggest that cuckolding, or at least thinking about it, is more common than you might imagine. For his forthcoming book, "Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help Improve Your Sex Life," Lehmiller surveyed thousands of Americans and found that 58% of men and about a third of women had fantasized about cuckolding.
"Men are more likely to fantasize about cuckolding, and they do it more often -- but there are a number of women who have these fantasies as well, which points to the need for more research focused on women's cuckolding desires," Lehmiller said.
Initially viewed as a heterosexual phenomenon, it's increasingly prevalent among gay men, too. "I'd long gotten letters from straight couples into cuckolding (usually initiated by the husband), but none from gay couples until after marriage equality began to gather steam," explained writer and activist Savage. To learn more, Savage joined with Lehmiller and Ley for a study of cuckolding fantasies and experiences in 580 gay men.
Their findings suggest that there are similarities between the way gay and straight men view cuckolding, but clear differences, too. Most notably, interracial and BDSM themes don't appear to be as common in gay men's cuckolding fantasies as they are among heterosexual men. The motivations behind these fantasies may also be different.
Part of what makes cuckolding arousing for heterosexual men is that they tend to view it as a taboo act. "In a society or culture that idealizes monogamy, the cuckold fantasy is a current narrative that is available to people to conceptualize their sexual fantasies," said Ley.
But that may not be an influence for everyone. "For gay men, cuckolding isn't quite as taboo because the norm of lifelong monogamy isn't so strong in the LGBT community; however, it can still be arousing for a number of other reasons," said Lehmiller. For instance, fantasies about voyeurism and group sex seem to overlap with those about cuckolding in these men. "It's a sexual desire that can be easily customized to meet a wide range of sexual needs and desires, whether it's taboo sex, novelty, voyeurism or something else," he told me.
And the emotions surrounding seeing your partner with someone else can add to the turn-on, explained Savage. "It's not cuckolding if there isn't an element of humiliation, degradation or denial," he said. "Our erotic imaginations have the ability to turn shame lemons into delicious kink lemonade."
As a sex therapist, one of the more intriguing findings from this study involves the impact of cuckolding on relationships.
"Overall, our research found that for the most part, cuckolding tends to be a positive fantasy and behavior," said Ley. "It doesn't appear to be evidence of disturbance, of an unhealthy relationship, or of disregard for one's partner." But there's an important caveat, added Lehmiller. "We found several personality factors that predict more positive experiences acting on cuckolding fantasies. For those who have a lot of relationship anxiety or abandonment issues, who lack intimacy and communication, and who aren't careful, detail-oriented planners, acting on a consensual non-monogamy fantasy could very well be a negative experience," he said. "In other words, not everyone who has a cuckolding fantasy should think about acting on it."
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Remember that sometimes just sharing a sexy thought can be arousing enough -- you don't have to follow through. If you are thinking about acting on a cuckolding fantasy, it's worth stepping back first and making sure your relationship is in a good place and that you have strong sexual communication skills.
"For men and couples considering the issue of cuckolding, it's important there be honesty, integrity, communication, mutuality and shared values," advised Ley. "I've seen men who try to trick their wives into cuckolding them, and this never, ever ends up well."
For couples who do decide to move forward, it's important to take things slow. "The reality of watching your spouse have sex with someone else -- or knowing they're doing it, if you're not there -- is often very different than the fantasy. It can dredge up powerful emotions, so take baby steps and keep talking and communicating," said Savage. "That said, the rewards can be amazing, according to couples who have successfully folded cuckold play into their relationships."
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Updated 2057 GMT (0457 HKT) March 9, 2018
(CNN) In our current political climate, the term "cuck" -- short for "cuckservative" -- has become an insult of the so-called alt-right, aimed at men they view as spineless and emasculated. The slur has its roots in the concept of cuckolding, or having an adulterous partner.
See the latest news and share your comments with CNN Health on Facebook and Twitter .
Ian Kerner is a licensed psychotherapist and sexuality counselor in New York City.

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I am a bi, white, married man—35 years old and living in a big Midwestern city. I’d like to know what’s going on in my psyche—from a sex-research perspective. I’ve been hung up on cuckold fantasies with my female partner for years now. I’m a creative person and I’m especially fond of creative fantasizing in bed, and my partner enjoys this as well. But 9 times out of 10, I’m spinning a yarn about her fucking other men, whether it’s a threesome, cuckolding with me watching, or her going out on dates and coming home a delicious mess. These fantasies took an unexpected turn when I asked her to share stories about people she fucked in the past. She obliged—and holy shit, was I turned on. The only unfortunate thing is that she did not have many great sexual experiences in the past, so she feels like there is not a lot to share. Anyway, we have an amazing sex life, obviously, and I feel no shame whatsoever about these fantasies or how turned on her memories make us. I’m just curious as to why it turns me on so much. I know others have similar kinks, but it seems so antithetical to the heteronormative expectations of what I should be turned on by. Any ideas? Fantasies Reliably Enhance Every Dalliance
“‘Why am I like this?’ questions are always rabbit holes,” said Dr. David Ley, a clinical psychologist, author, and sex researcher. “We create rich, satisfying stories that are really just a form of mental masturbation—no bust on masturbation—when the truth is, at least at this point, we really have no clear idea why people have any of the unique sexual fantasies they do.” (Dr. Ley literally wrote the book on cuckolding: Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray And The Men Who Love Them .)
One popular explanation for why being cuckolded might turn a man on—why knowing his wife or girlfriend had fucked someone else (or was fucking someone else in front of him) might turn a guy on—was the “sperm competition” theory. To quickly summarize: A man who suspects his female partner recently had sex with another male—and whose reptile brain believes the other man’s semen might be “present” inside her—will have a more powerful and voluminous orgasm when he next mates with his female partner in an effort to “flood out” his competitor’s semen. For a time, many sex researchers theorized that male swingers and cuckolds were subconsciously inducing “sperm competition” reactions—i.e., they were in it for the more powerful orgasms.
“Unfortunately, much of the research into sperm competition is now suspect, due to a failure to replicate many of these findings,” said Dr. Ley. “So to a degree, we’re now saying, ‘You know, it’s complicated, everyone is different, and there are no simple answers.’”
And now that we’ve said that, FREED, Dr. Ley, who has worked with many cuckold couples, has noticed patterns and he’s willing to put out some alternative theories of his own.
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“Many cuckolds have a desire to engage bisexually with other men, using their wife’s body as a sort of proxy,” said Dr. Ley. “Given that FREED is a bi male in a heterosexual relationship, these cuckold fantasies might be a way for him to express his bisexuality while including his wife. Additionally, vicarious erotic fulfillment is often a central component in many cuckold fantasies. This goes beyond simple voyeurism—and FREED’s comment about his wife’s regret at not having enough sexual experiences to share offers us a clue in this direction. Many cuckolds celebrate their partners being sexually unrestrained. FREED might just be turned on by the idea of his wife cutting loose and sharing that supercharged erotic energy with other partners—past, present, and future.”
Finally, FREED, I wanted to add a “ding, ding, ding” to something you mentioned at the end of your letter. The erotic power of doing something that seems antithetical to the heteronormative and/or vanilla-normative expectations heaped on us by culture, religion, family, etc. should never be underestimated. While not everyone is turned on by the thought of transgressing against sexual or social norms, a significant percentage is. So long as our normative-busting transgressive turn-ons can be realized with other consenting adults, we should worry less about the “why” and more about the “when,” “where,” and “how.” (Now, in private, and safely!)
Follow Dr. Ley on Twitter @DrDavidLey .
I’m a 35-year-old married man with two beautiful small children. I knew I was a cuckold before I met my wife. As soon as things got somewhat serious, I made this very clear, as I had learned repeatedly that my desire for a cuckold relationship almost certainly spelled doom. While we were dating, she cuckolded me multiple times and seemed very accepting of the idea. I was in heaven, as I finally felt accepted for me. I remember very clearly on the day of our elopement discussing that this was more than a kink for me—it was central to my sexuality and I needed her buy-in before committing for life. We played a time or two after we got married, but my wife’s interest in the lifestyle greatly decreased. After we had children (first child four years ago), her interest in cuckolding evaporated. It’s entirely gone. I accepted this for some time due to having young children. When I broached the subject recently, she expressed legitimate concerns around STIs, pregnancy, and being “found out” by friends/family. But this is something I need, as I made clear before we married. It’s not just a “kink” for me. I love my wife and I don’t want to pressure her into having sex with others, but I’m hurt and frustrated. I can’t help but feel like I had a bait and switch pulled on me. What do I do? Be thankful for the things I do have? Ask to go to a sex-positive therapist? Ask for a divorce? I’m lost, hurt, confused, and angry. Cuckold Has Understandable Regrets Now
Cuckolding may be something you need, CHURN, but it’s something you’re asking the wife to do. And the doing presents more risks for her—the risks of STIs and pregnancy fall entirely on her, as she pointed out. And if people were to find out (or suspect) she was sleeping around, the “shame” and potential social ostracism would fall entirely on her, too. Even if you were to tell anyone who found out that it was consensual and/or that you were a cuckold, it’s not like she wouldn’t still be shamed or ostracized. Judgmental family and friends would just heap equal portions of shame on you, too.
To your credit, CHURN, you acknowledged the legitimacy of your wife’s concerns. And I’m going to acknowledge the legitimacy of your frustrations: You told her before you eloped that you needed this to be happy, and she didn’t just agree to it, she was (or seemed) enthused about it. I might be inclined to see this as a bait and switch myself if you didn’t have children. Even the most adventurous people—sexual or otherwise—tend to become risk-averse when their children are young, and I imagine your wife is currently some combo of highly risk-averse and completely overwhelmed. (Hey, are you doing your fair share of the housework and childcare?) Instead of threatening to divorce her (which would amount to pressuring her), I would encourage you to find a sex-positive counselor who can help you two talk about what your sex life can look like once your children are a little older.
If she can express it without being expected to act on it tomorrow, my hunch is your wife can see cuckolding you again once your kids are older. Since finding women who are into this isn’t easy, as you already know, it would be in your own self-interest to take the long view and be patient. In the meantime, CHURN, content yourself with hot memories of all the times the wife cuckolded you in the past and hot dirty talk about all the times she’s going cuckold you in the future.
On the Lovecast , summer sex toys with Erika Moen. mail@savagelove.net Follow Dan on Twitter @fakedansavage ITMFA.org 

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GENEVIEVE and her husband aren’t into anything too “out there”, so they were surprised to find themselves at a swingers night in Sydney. Here’s what happened.
I’M NOT an exhibitionist. And while I enjoy sex, I’m not into anything out there or over-the-top.
Which is why I was surprised to find myself, a few weeks ago, having sex with my husband while a group of strangers watched.
Out on a dinner date a few weeks ago, my partner and I were cruising around the streets with a post-meal ice cream when we came across Sydney’s Couples Club .
Curious, we googled it when we got home to see what that discreet unmarked door was hiding.
Turns out, it’s a sex club and its monthly First Time Friday night was coming up. On a whim, we decided to check it out.
It felt like less pressure to visit during a time when we wouldn’t be the only ones who had never done anything like this before.
We didn’t necessarily go with the intention of swinging, swapping partners or even “playing” (as the site described) with others — we were just curious and keen to explore something sexually new.
We love visiting strip clubs together (who doesn’t love a gorgeous woman dancing around?) so we knew we’d be comfortable with nudity, but laid out a few ground rules before we went.
For us, we decided if we felt like it, we would be game to have sex in front of others. We weren’t up for letting others join in though, and agreed if it was something either of us wanted to do in the moment, we could talk about it afterwards and go back for another visit to possibly pursue.
The Friday finally rolled around, and I had a glass of wine while getting ready for the evening.
I put on a new set of Agent Provocateur lingerie and sent a selfie to my BFF (who is a psychologist and was also super curious to hear about our experience) before we grabbed a bottle of champagne and hopped in an Uber — the club is BYOB, but there’s a bar you bring your alcohol to so a bartender can serve it to you.
As soon as we arrived, we were buzzing. After climbing three flights of red carpeted stairs, were reached the entrance where we were told the house rules: simply approach others you’re interested in, but if they put up a palm, it signals “no”, and vice versa.
Other than that, the jacuzzi, outdoor terrace and play room were our proverbial oyster.
We headed to the bar to have a glass or two of champagne first and take in the scene. Several screens showed various porn movies , there was a stripper pole in the middle of the room, and the bartender was in fishnets and underwear.
Several other couples were hanging around the bar, and within moments, a woman was bent over and being spanked. It was more humorous than sexy, and everyone seemed to be trying really hard to look natural and comfortable.
As we finished our drinks, a dancer entered and cleared the room to perform a striptease on the pole.
An older man loudly whooped and yelled throughout the entire performance, but it wasn’t anything crazy and we decided we wanted to go downstairs to see more.
Several open yet separate rooms had various beds and couches scattered about, and most were occupied with couples having sex or several people tangled up in each other.
Props like whips and paddles decorated the rooms, and there were attachments against some walls to tie someone up with.
My partner and I saw a small, empty room containing one small bed and looked at each other and shrugged. “Why the hell not?” we thought.
I jumped on top, and during the time were we in there, a steady stream of people approached to try and join or just watch.
For me, I wasn’t particularly turned on by that, but wasn’t bothered either as obviously it came with the territory.
After we got dressed and left, we agreed we were glad we went (and came), but did it more for a good story than it being something either of us were really into.
Every person and couple has their own preferences and fetishes, and if exploring with others is your thing, it’s definitely worth checking out.
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