Incest Therapy
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Key points
It's believed that the most common form of incest happens between older male relatives and younger females.
PTSD as a result of incest can result in a variety of coping mechanisms including self-injury.
The first thing anyone can do to help a victim of incest is to believe them.
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Relationships
Low Sexual Desire
Relationships
Sex
Family Life
Child Development
Parenting
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The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Posted February 7, 2013
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Reviewed by Ekua Hagan
Incest as a form of abuse can be challenging to define, as it differs from culture to culture. Perceptions of incest vary across societies, and the degree of taboo around incest—not to mention the legal ramifications—depends largely on where you are from. In some cultures (and eras), marrying your first cousin is a perfectly acceptable practice.
In this post, we’ll focus on the contemporary Western attitude toward and definition of incest. According to Incest: The Nature and Origin of the Taboo , by Emile Durkheim (tr.1963), “The incest taboo is and has been one of the most common of all cultural taboos, both in current nations and many past societies.”
Incest is a type of sexual abuse that can (but does not always) include sexual intercourse, sexually inappropriate acts, or the abuse of power based on sexual activity between blood relatives. The important thing to remember is that incest is a form of sexual abuse. As a form of abuse, it is highly damaging to a child’s psyche and most often results in prolonged post- traumatic stress disorder ( PTSD ).
Feminist.com says that “Incest and sexual abuse of children take many forms and may include sexually suggestive language; prolonged kissing, looking, and petting; vaginal and/or anal intercourse; and oral sex. Because sexual contact is often achieved without overt physical force, there may be no obvious signs of physical harm.”
Incest is a reprehensible form of abuse not just because it is cloaked in shame and stigma, but because this type of sexual abuse, in particular, affects young victims by implicating and damaging their primary support system. This can be very confusing for children who have been taught to be wary of strangers but to trust family. Because they are in the beginning stages of developing their value systems and trust models, the betrayal of incest can be utterly confusing, if not permanently damaging, to a child’s delicate psyche.
The statistics on incest are extremely difficult to pinpoint because most cases of incest are never reported due to the intense level of shame associated with this type of sexual abuse. Aside from the misdirected shame that victims of incest often feel, there is increased pressure to keep it a secret because of fear of disrupting the family dynamic or experiencing blame or anger from other family members. However, it’s believed that the most common form of incest happens between older male relatives and younger females.
PTSD as a result of incest can result in a variety of coping mechanisms including:
The most important thing to remember when dealing with those who have suffered incest (especially if the victim is yourself) is that shame and guilt , while a common response, is not an appropriate one. The biggest immediate help you can offer to a victim of incest is to listen with respect and compassion... and belief. In other words, the first step is always to believe the victim.
RAINN (The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) has a protocol in terms of who a victim can feel safe reporting an incest situation to:
To report suspected incest to authorities, call Child Protective Services (see this directory) .
To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory .
Susanne Babbel, Ph.D., M.F.T., is a psychologist specializing in trauma and depression.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
Psychology Today © 2022 Sussex Publishers, LLC
The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
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In treating victims of incest, therapists need to be aware of the gamut of symptoms, personality traits, interpersonal difficulties, and clinical syndromes that occur with special frequency in this population. A list of these features is provided. Vignettes with typical therapist-patient dialogue are offered, demonstrating techniques for handling the initial consultation and opening phase of treatment. During later phases of treatment the focus will usually shift to the discussion of the pertinent symptoms (such as suicidal feelings, substance abuse, dissociative phenomena, sexual disturbances, and distorted self-image). Further on, therapy will focus on abnormal personality traits and attitudes that the incest experience may have set in motion. Examples include mistrustfulness, jealousy, seductiveness, hostility, impulsivity, defiance and emotional volatility. Many incest victims develop borderline personality disorder. Highly polarized attitudes ("splitting") toward sexual partners are characteristic of this group. Therapy relies upon supportive, re-educative, and interpretive work designed to help the victim develop more realistic and integrated views of self and other.
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This topic likely comes as a surprise to many. Just the idea of abuse of this nature, between a mother and her son, is shocking to most. The idea of mother-son incest is so far out of the realm of what we as a culture understand about mothers and women that even its victims rarely seek help.
As a society, our views of mothers as nurturers who would never willingly hurt their children may be so ingrained in our psyche that even trained psychologists can be uncomfortable entertaining the idea that sexual abuse can happen between a mother and her son (Osborne, 2015).
Incest (sexual relationships between family members) is taboo and can bring a strong sense of guilt and shame to its victims (Kluft, 2011). While the idea that fathers sexually abuse their children is disturbing, it is accepted as something that can (and does) happen. It is well documented and studied.
Although the idea that some fathers can be sexual predators towards their own family is accepted, the parallel idea, that mothers can be sexual predators towards
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