Incest Taboo Forum

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Blogger Jill Smokler wondered how honest women would be if she created a judgment-free confessional online. She had no idea.
Now picture yourself at book club. In the middle of small talk, you say, "I wish I could be happy for my best friend's amazing children, happy marriage, and perfect life, but I'm seething with jealousy."
Pretty far-fetched scenarios, right? Yet the quotes above are real: They all came from an anonymous "confessional" on my website, Scary Mommy. I started the section because I got tired of the shiny-happy parenting reports filling up my Facebook feed. I knew I wasn't the only mom who wanted to slam the door in my kid's face every once in a while, or temporarily favored one child over the other. I wasn't proud of those moments, and thinking I was alone in having them made me feel even more helpless.
So I built a virtual confessional for people like me, and made it a safe place by barring judgment of any kind. Women post their feelings in the raw, and readers have three reaction options: They can click "Like," "OMG, Me Too!" or "Hug." There's no "Dislike" or "Eye Roll" button. I left no room for superiority or snark — we all face enough of that in the real world.
The response was phenomenal. Anonymously, mothers were willing to get down and dirty about what parenting really looks like. Sometimes, we yell too loudly and make poor choices. And finally, we're being honest about it. Halle-freaking-lujah!
The need to vent is universal, and so is the craving for understanding. I get emails from people who type and delete the same confession a dozen times before having the courage to submit. When they finally do, their words are met with 20, 30, or 200 OMG Me Too's. One woman wrote, "If it wasn't for the confessional, I'd be convinced I'm the only mother who'd ever felt like a failure. I no longer do." And then there are the confessions that deal with depression or illness or a deeply troubled child. People might not necessarily relate, but they want to offer their support. If, for whatever reason, those moms aren't getting the real-life hugs they need, a virtual one can do wonders.
Confessing online feels so good — imagine how liberating it would be to speak the same words over a beer with girlfriends? It might be like therapy: You unload your darkest, most embarrassing thoughts, and then you're able to move on (only it's free)! We encourage our kids to talk about their emotions, but as parents, we do the opposite. It's too bad; when close friends lend you perspective, you almost instantly become a better mother.
Of course, getting comfortable with that kind of honesty hinges on having friends that act as a cheering squad, not hecklers. Motherhood binds us: We are all on this crazy ride together, loving our kids the absolute best ways we can, trying to survive another day. So why the condemnation? Why does identifying someone as a poor mother make us feel better about ourselves? There is no trophy for best parenting, and nothing to be gained from pitting ourselves against one another. After all, we play for the same team: our kids.
Jill Smokler blogs about motherhood at scarymommy.com. Her first book, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, comes out in April.
For every mother who is doing the best she can (and yes, that's all of us), we're starting a movement to banish mom-on-mom criticism and start supporting each other. We're declaring November 30 "No-Judgment Day." Go to redbookmag.com/motherboard, where we've just launched our new Motherboard Blog Council, featuring great new mommy bloggers nationwide. They'll be confessing the secrets they don't want to be judged for — so join in! Tweet @redbookmag with your own #dontjudgemebecause mom moment, or share it on our Facebook page. Plus, add our "No Judgment" badge to your profile. Feels good, right?
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i ust wanted to put the question so i canrepy to comments. anyway im askig about very uniqe cicomstanes like having noone but each oter or locked up together to grow and mutur.

bout ust experimeting ( by kising)
\
an hving felings for ach other ( or just on for the othe and ever acting on it)

You know? I honestly was always stuck on this issue.

The sexual relationship between siblings is always known as taboo; it's called incest, imbreeding, sexual abuse depending on the older sibling's age, and is simply seen as disgusting. This type of love between siblings was in all ways seen as forbidden. At first, I completely agreed with all who thought this. Mainly for two reasons; 1) Well, to me it was just simply disturbing. You grow up with this particular person....maybe even develop in the womb with him/her....and go through many hardships and enjoyment with him/her as children. But once your reach your teenage years or adulthood; you start having sex with him/her? That would seem quite awkward at the least. My second reason is the children that can result from this type of affair. Now I'm not trying to say that a child borne from something like this is a "mistake". I whole heartedly believe that no child is a "mistake". But I am concerned about what a child born from any type of incestuous relationship will face during his or her life. Children from incest are known to have severe deformities due to the DNA of his/her parents being so familiar. Also, if one were to find out that the child's parents were siblings, father and daughter, mother and son, relatives in any area....imagine the stigma that child will carry. Numerous people will end up knowing (because we all know how much of a gossiper each person can be) about how this child was born, and of course many would create harsh judgments on the child and his/her family. This will more than likely emotionally traumatize the child.

My main reasons....it's extremity in being exotic and my great concerns for a child born from incest...brought me the conclusion to be completely against something like this.

But as time went by, I slowly began to wonder....a brother and sister in love is seen as disturbing. But why? Besides the only feelings that I felt, what else makes a sexual relationship so stigmatized? Is this issue really as forbidden as we sometimes make it seem, or could this type of thing actually be....okay? What if we're violating the rights to love?

Now, I may be looked upon as completely insane right now by readers.

But, this is honestly my opinion.

And my opinion is in the middle ground.

Parts of me say "NO!" to a brother-sister love relationship, and other parts of me simply ask, "Why?"

:)

thespikedturtle posted over a year ago
DarkCEpitome posted over a year ago
No, because if I say yes to this kind of incest, then I have to yes to all kinds of incest, including mother-son, Father-daughter, and Uncles/Aunts with Nephews and Nieces. I know that if I had a son and my older sister ended up in a sexual relationship with my son, I would kill her in cold-blood.

The only brother and sister relationships I would accept is step-siblings, adopted siblings, and with cousins gained through marriages. For example, The son of a woman getting married dating a girl who will soon become his cousin through their families joining through marriage.

Depends on the 'brother and sister' relationship. It could be a situation where a girls mom is getting remarried and the husband had a son the same age, or the opposite way around. It would only be gross if they were blood related.

Just the thought of it ever happening is gross...

miyaismykitty posted over a year ago
I think it's perfectly fine! I don't get what's wrong with that at all! If two siblings love each other, what's wrong with that? If love conquers all, then how come it can't conquer a tiny detail like that? I don't care if I'm the only one on this side, I'm sticking to what I think is right, the power of love is endless!!

thespikedturtle posted over a year ago
thespikedturtle posted over a year ago
Its wrong, the thought of it sickens me. and to any one who thinks its okay is really disgusting. just my opinion :)

My inner moralist says no but my inner philosopher says yes.

I think everyone can guess why this seems like a gross idea, but philosophically speaking why shouldn't it be legal?
In this day and age of birth control and sex ed people should get to decide about their own sexuality. Most often incestuous couples are people who were separated as children and after meeting each other later in life fell in love. It's because of something called "genetic sexual attraction" and you can find more info on it on Wikipedia.
If a couple like that wanted to have sexual relations, why is it the society's responsibility to judge them when they're both mutually attracted to each other and they're not harming anybody? I am opposed to incestuous couples reproducing though, and think that they should be obligated to take care of birth control. Obviously this would be difficult to arrange and undoubtably they would continue to have children. But let's face it - making it illegal isn't going to make them stop. Instead these "dangers to society" are just burdening the social system because they are jailed, their children taken charge of and all types of expensive councelling and help is arranged to the family.



I think its gross. Thats incest. Ewwwwwww.......

Sometimes, when a Brother and Sister were seperated at birth, they have misplaced feelings for each other. I can't remember the name of it, but most incest stems from this.
I don't particuraly like it, but I think we all have the right to love who we want. It's the children who will have the problems, what with the similar genes.

MissKnowItAll posted over a year ago
to me thats just messed up, i can understand cousins, but brothers? i guess if u were born in a country where they believed in that sort of stuff it would seem ok, but to me its just wrong.

I thought about this long and hard and I dont think its wrong. Some of my comments may make it seem like I think no but If you really love someone why should that get in the way of true love?


Much like sapheraqueen, I'm torn on this issue. On the one hand, it leads to serious deformities and not just the visible kind. I'm not comfortable with a brother and a sister having sex any more than I'm comfortable with a mother and son, or uncle and niece. It almost seems (to me) like the one relative is taking advantage of the affection and, in some cases, dependency the other relative has on them.

But, if the two siblings know the risks and are willing to deal with societies problems (and deal with the problems of a sick child, should they have one) they why shouldn't they be allowed? Isn't this, basically, the same thing the homosexuals are going through - not being able to be with the one they love simply because society sees their relationship as "disgusting"?



Married into the family? No.

Blood relatives?
Yes!!
I just find that nasty as hell. If you want someone why not find a non-relative?

I mean I wish them the happiness everyone deserves but...ugh.
Nasty...

No, I don't think that that's right. But that is what I've always been taught.

Look it up in the Bible. It will tell you that is wrong. Perverted,and wrong. That does not mean however, that persons having been in such a relationship cannot be forgiven by God if seeking repentance. I believe it very, very, wrong myself. Don't even ASK if it should be made legal.
And for the record, love is meant to be enjoyed within the bounds it was created for. Man has taken it and perverted it with such relationships between people.
(a side note: you will find in the beginning, there were obviously brothers and sisters marrying one another, but that was because there were no other humans! They were all related. However, as there is no longer a need for that, it is wrong.)

no, because it is just akward and gross.

As long as they are consenting adults, and they don't produce children. I really don't see the problem with it. It's just 2 people in love to me.

Perfectly acceptable. I find the hypocrisy of people who support gay rights claiming that it's everyone's right to fall in love with whomever they want, but are against incest for the very same reasons that society was once against homosexualty ("It's gross." "It's just wrong." "It's sick" "It's a mental disorder." "It makes baby Jesus cry.") to be quite repulsive.

um, having feelings for somebody, is not the person's choice, i think sexual relations would be bad if they had kids in terms of the closeness of their genes or something (from biology class) but what is love anyway? and who's to say it can't develop between siblings, i think kissing and touching is a way to express love between anybody, even if it's like "that" im not sure if it should go further, i mean its not like the brother or sister is the only other person in the world out there.... :\

Well i think it's wrong nasty follish becuz u crew up with a person and now you making love with them that is bad and i do not agree with that at all .

Just thinking about having sex with my brother is disgusting...something I have never thought of & I have 2 brothers. But I can see where u r coming from especially if the brother is older, your protector, & u admire. Also puberty is a crazy hormonal period for adolescents & lots of experimenting & trying new things. I don't think you're the only person who thinks this. Personally I don't & society doesn't.

No. It's all clear. Plainly, downright no. It's even prohibited in our laws... for reason of public policy - 1.) morally speaking, it's inherently taboo and perverse; and 2.) practically speaking, there are the consequences of any defect and stigma on the future offspring. Why? Will it yield more benefits if we change the status quo, aka approving incest, than keeping the old order of things? Moreover, we shouldn't be confused of this overwrote excuse - "The universal right to love." Because, indeed, "No right is absolute." - a classical maxim/principle.
It's actually the same reasons why, in no way, the idea of approving gay marriage will ever be entertained in my country.

blackpanther666 posted over a year ago
What I think is basically irrelevant, as is that of society. Yes, perhaps it is illegal in most places... Well, besides that, I don't have a personal problem with it... I mean, I don't particularly like it and I would never indulge in that myself, but I'm hardly going to stop other people from doing it, or from thinking that there's nothing wrong with it. At least those people committing incest aren't out there killing, or raping people and committing other types of crimes.

I hope i get a response on one of these, I'm really confused, I found out that one of my closest friends is having sex with her brother, has been for a while, and has no intention of stopping. She was only embaressed that I found out, not by what she was doing...I almost wanted to strangle Dan, i mean she's his SISTER, he's supposed to be the protector.I just dont understand, shes beautiful, one of the best ballerinas in missouri, why would she choose this incest life with her brother?? I mean he's good to her from what she said, but still. I guess it works for them, but i dont know how

whiteflame55 posted over a year ago
There's no really good reason to be against it if both of them consent to it and both are not minors.
The only thing is preventing pregnancy from it. Besides that, its all good. If she does get pregnant, they hold the responsibility of that child if the child happens to have recessive genes from incest. The child being stigmatized by society isn't a good reason because its the same thing with same-sex parents raising a child, they are stigmatized by society but it isn't wrong. Two straight couples with different genes may have a kid with some type of problem, whether it be mental or physical, and they shouldn't be stigmatized for having sex. Attraction isn't a choice. However, there's a choice of preventing a baby that you know will have a higher chance of having recessive genes (simply by protection or not having sex), but as I said, its the parents choice. I hope they do choose not to have a baby, but its not my choice. I see nothing wrong with two brothers loving each other, so I should see nothing wrong with incest in general.

Why not? The affection between the two can develop to a love. It is really thrill to a boy to see the naked body of his sister and to make love with her. The love between sister and brother is stronger than the love between husband and wife. I know in many families this is happening and parents are also close their eyes thinking that it is better than they try sex elsewhere and entangle in problems.When a sister and brother have sex, their relationship is stronger than an ordinary sister and brother relationship. so far as they avoid pregnancy, if both are consent, they can very well have sexual relationship. Up to what time, till their marriage, it is left to them.

I wouldn't do it but if someone wants to. That's up to them. I mean it isn't hurting anybody and like gays, straights, asexuals, etc. they love who they love, and that's their business.

I use to be disgusted by it and by all means against it.

But I'm more of a chill person now.

To be blank I find the brotherly sisterly aspect of a brother and sister's relationship more heartwarming than that of romantic or sexual. Humans even evolved a mechanism in their sense of smell so that family members have a less appealing smell than that of others who they feel attracted to in order to avoid incest.
But times are changing.

It's fully up to them. I believe in free will and the right to doing whatever makes someone happy as long as they are not hurting anyone. So if they truly love each other, I don't think I am one to judge.

ThePrincesTale posted over a year ago
Let me answer with a story from veda. An ascetic was lonely and he prayed for 17 years till God appeared and gave him a baby girl as a boon. Soon the girl grew up into a beautiful lady and the ascetic proposed to her for marriage. One day while crossing the jungle, a t
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