Incest Road Trip

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Mother-Son Trip: Not the Experience Mom Expected
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I remember hearing friends who have older teens say, “Yeah, I barely see my oldest son anymore—he’s so busy with sports, school and his friends.” And, like everything else in life, I didn’t understand it until I experienced it.
Recently, I was particularly excited to take my oldest son, Zach, skiing. He and I were meeting some good friends who have a son the same age as he is. And, we were driving our own car so that we could have three hours of uninterrupted quality time .
I began making the list of discussion questions in my head weeks ago. What was his favorite class and why? What type of college did he see himself attending? How was sophomore year different from freshman year? If he could go back in time and witness a historical event, which would it be? And on and on.
I could barely contain my excitement as I packed the car with snacks, and Zach arranged the skis. We proceeded down the driveway.
“Mom, can we discuss last night’s episode of The Middle?” he asked. It’s our family’s current favorite sitcom—mainly because they mirror our family. And, his question introduced a topic I hadn’t even considered. I was giddy with excitement.
“Oh, it’s funny you mention that. I just heard the kid who plays Axel is 20. Can you believe that?” I asked.
Since we live in an age where you don’t have to wonder about anything, Zach grabbed my phone and googled. He read the blurb to me, commenting about the actors and other show trivia.
Wow, this was going even better than I expected.
I wanted to cry. We hadn’t even left our neighborhood. Didn’t he realize how special this time was? Didn’t he get that in this conversation he wouldn’t get interrupted by his siblings, and I wouldn’t get a phone call that would stifle the momentum of our time together ? Didn’t he … just start snoring? Seriously?
I glanced over at him, and he looked so peaceful. I could hear his music and noticed the slightly turned up sides of his mouth, revealing the dimples I love. I was reminded of the toddler who took four-hour naps and fell asleep in his high chair with food still in his hand. I almost descended into full-blown nostalgia, until I slapped myself back to reality. His dozing and my musing on the good ole’ days was so NOT what I envisioned for our journey across I-90.
Zach dozed on and off the entire ride. I chatted to myself. Good thing I make such great company .
We arrived at the ski hill and brought all of our gear into the lodge. He left with his friend, and I with mine. Lunch was a blur, and by dinner we were all nearly asleep. By 9 p.m., I could barely keep my eyes open. I muttered a half-hearted good night.
I snickered at his inherited sarcasm, but then I realized something. He was actually serious. He was glad he wasn’t sharing a bed with his brother. He was glad we weren’t getting interrupted. And he was glad to be away , just the two of us—exactly like I envisioned.
Stephanie Schaeffer Silverman is publisher of Your Teen Magazine.
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Mom Wants To Be Included In This Father-Daughter Camping Trip, Ruins It By Making It About Her
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This incident comes from a 16-year-old teen who prepared the sweetest gift for her dad for Father’s Day—a camping trip for which she saved for months. And when her mom heard about their plans, she couldn’t miss a chance to participate, although normally, when she hears about “camping, her immediate reaction is ‘ew, no way.'”
But sooner than the author of this post knew it, her mother was already doing the trip her own way, from foods only she liked to activities she would shut down because “it would inconvenience her.”
As you can imagine, the vibe at the campsite was not the best, and the family drama escalated up to a boiling point when the mom just told the author to go and play with kids nearby. That’s when the daughter had enough and laid all that she thought out on the table.
Now she’s asking the dear people of the internet if it was an overreaction, so let us know what you think in the comments!
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I think mom is a narcissist, and dad should have stepped in on his daughter's behalf. He probably didn't because he has to suffer the consequences of his wife's narcissism too. likely his calling out his daughter's comments was more about self preservation than really thinking she was TA. But then again, maybe the girl has the situation distorted a bit being young and having a still developing brain it might not be too far fetched.
You hit it right on the nose. This is my own family dynamic, except bio-mom and step-dad. She too turns on the tears when you tell her about herself and point out her wrongdoing. Totally turns it back around.
I 100% agree with this. I'm assuming it was an exasperated response like "you shouldn't have upset your mother". That kind of nightmare personality always works out that way.
Yes. I was thinking the same. The step-mom is a narcissist and that is not going to change. Do some reading about the traits of narcissism and that will help you to set your boundaries, especially as you get older. Narcissist don't change because they are without the ability to understand their motives and drives. Conflicts are the fault of others, never their mistake.
I would feel so betrayed by the dad. He's not even capable of understanding that she did that for him... That would be my last present for him, ever.
@John C you speak of "leveling" as if it's a positive parenting technique, it's not. Children are meant to be lifted up higher than ourselves. The dad's attempt at leveling would have brought his daughter down to the same selfish, immature level as his wife.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
As a father of 2 daughters (and someone very familiar with being the only male in a house of females), let me clue you in: her gift was not lost on him. I see him as employing the same tactic I do: leveling. Everything is a compromise and I call it as I see it. Yes, the mom horned in on the weekend, but given the situation for what it was in that moment, there's no excuse to act like that to mom. It's vitally important for parents to present a united front, even when you don't necessarily agree. These are some lessons I've learned as a husband and father.
It's vital to stick up for your kids when a parent is flat out wrong. Parents need to apologize to their children when they are flat out shitty parents. Mom for being an entitled asshole and dad for letting it happen. Wtf. Your girls know you're keeping the peace instead of standing up for what's right. That's spineless and not a lesson you should be teaching especially to girls that their feelings do not matter as long as the adults say so. You are not 100% right always bc you're the parent and I can see this just from your comment. Can't imagine what your kids see. This is coming from a 50yr old mother of two teen girls. Empathy needs to be taught especially by example.
And to call your girls females is frigging weird. You sound like a cop and you're talking about a suspect. Emotionless. That's what I see. Therapy would help you so much. Poor young girls to have this as an example. They'll never be able to deal w their emotions bc you can't. I'm sure they aren't allowed to have difficult feelings bc you can't deal w them. Talk about passing on generational trauma. Men have emotions too just as many as women. At your age and being a father you should know this by now
Oh I see! Thanks for the perspective! So if your wife starts burning cigarettes on your kid's face, you should present a united front and help her burn them! I never thought of it like that! Now I understand the stories of spouses that help their husband rape girls, thanks for enlightening us! Now, I'll stop with sarcasm and say that I hope your daughters never realize that their father is not capable of assessing a situation fairly and be on their side when needed. I pity them.
That's the dumbest thing I have ever read in my life. That's nowhere near what he said. She wasn't being abused. You're taking about physical abuse. You seriously are beyond ridiculous.
And THAT is how you lose your kids trust in you and why they hide things. That gap widens to a chasm over the years.
"I call it as I see it" -- well, if that's the case, why not call out mom's bs? Compromise must come from mom as well. And what does being the only male around a bunch of females have to do with anything? Are you suggesting that your actions would be different if you had sons? That's so wrong; men and women aren't that different. Much of our differences originate from our upbringing.
So, John were this ONE of your daughter's excursions to the nail salon with mom and you horned in and changed the outcome of the event, that's cool too? Nope yourself out and be the bigger parent, because this was a childish thing to do to over ride the trip that was not funded by you.
First, what a thoughtful and loving daughter you are! A gift like that from one of my sons would make my YEAR! Secondly, if my husband said, "I want to go too" on my special Mother's Day trip, I would have gently suggested that we plan another trip for the whole family as I would understand my child's intention. In my view, your dad should have seen your desire to have this special trip with him, giving him what HE liked at great cost to you, and protected and cherished that time. You were generous to include her, even though it messed up your plans and your budget. I'm so sorry they didn't see that - parents mess up all the time, just like everybody else! You are a special young lady - keep being the lovely, giving young person you obviously are!
Jennifer Hanks: YES!! To everything you've written here. <3
I think mom is a narcissist, and dad should have stepped in on his daughter's behalf. He probably didn't because he has to suffer the consequences of his wife's narcissism too. likely his calling out his daughter's comments was more about self preservation than really thinking she was TA. But then again, maybe the girl has the situation distorted a bit being young and having a still developing brain it might not be too far fetched.
You hit it right on the nose. This is my own family dynamic, except bio-mom and step-dad. She too turns on the tears when you tell her about herself and point out her wrongdoing. Totally turns it back around.
I 100% agree with this. I'm assuming it was an exasperated response like "you shouldn't have upset your mother". That kind of nightmare personality always works out that way.
Yes. I was thinking the same. The step-mom is a narcissist and that is not going to change. Do some reading about the traits of narcissism and that will help you to set your boundaries, especially as you get older. Narcissist don't change because they are without the ability to understand their motives and drives. Conflicts are the fault of others, never their mistake.
I would feel so betrayed by the dad. He's not even capable of understanding that she did that for him... That would be my last present for him, ever.
@John C you speak of "leveling" as if it's a positive parenting technique, it's not. Children are meant to be lifted up higher than ourselves. The dad's attempt at leveling would have brought his daughter down to the same selfish, immature level as his wife.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
As a father of 2 daughters (and someone very familiar with being the only male in a house of females), let me clue you in: her gift was not lost on him. I see him as employing the same tactic I do: leveling. Everything is a compromise and I call it as I see it. Yes, the mom horned in on the weekend, but given the situation for what it was in that moment, there's no excuse to act like that to mom. It's vitally important for parents to present a united front, even when you don't necessarily agree. These are some lessons I've learned as a husband and father.
It's vital to stick up for your kids when a parent is flat out wrong. Parents need to apologize to their children when they are flat out shitty parents. Mom for being an entitled asshole and dad for letting it happen. Wtf. Your girls know you're keeping the peace instead of standing up for what's right. That's spineless and not a lesson you should be teaching especially to girls that their feelings do not matter as long as the adults say so. You are not 100% right always bc you're the parent and I can see this just from your comment. Can't imagine what your kids see. This is coming from a 50yr old mother of two teen girls. Empathy needs to be taught especially by example.
And to call your girls females is frigging weird. You sound like a cop and you're talking about a suspect. Emotionless. That's what I see. Therapy would help you so much. Poor young girls to have this as an example. They'll never be able to deal w their emotions bc you can't. I'm sure they aren't allowed to have difficult feelings bc you can't deal w them. Talk about passing on generational trauma. Men have emotions too just as many as women. At your age and being a father you should know this by now
Oh I see! Thanks for the perspective! So if your wife starts burning cigarettes on your kid's face, you should present a united front and help her burn them! I never thought of it like that! Now I understand the stories of spouses that help their husband rape girls, thanks for enlightening us! Now, I'll stop with sarcasm and say that I hope your daughters never realize that their father is not capable of assessing a situation fairly and be on their side when needed. I pity them.
That's the dumbest thing I have ever read in my life. That's nowhere near what he said. She wasn't being abused. You're taking about physical abuse. You seriously are beyond ridiculous.
And THAT is how you lose your kids trust in you and why they hide things. That gap widens to a chasm over the years.
"I call it as I see it" -- well, if that's the case, why not call out mom's bs? Compromise must come from mom as well. And what does being the only male around a bunch of females have to do with anything? Are you suggesting that your actions would be different if you had sons? That's so wrong; men and women aren't that different. Much of our differences originate from our upbringing.
So, John were this ONE of your daughter's excursions to the nail salon with mom and you horned in and changed the outcome of the event, that's cool too? Nope yourself out and be the bigger parent, because this was a childish thing to do to over ride the trip that was not funded by you.
First, what a thoughtful and loving daughter you are! A gift like that from one of my sons would make my YEAR! Secondly, if my husband said, "I want to go too" on my special Mother's Day trip, I would have gently suggested that we plan another trip for the whole family as I would understand my child's intention. In my view, your dad should have seen your desire to have this special trip with him, giving him what HE liked at great cost to you, and protected and cherished that time. You were generous to include her, even though it messed up your plans and your budget. I'm so sorry they didn't see that - parents mess up all the time, just like everybody else! You are a special young lady - keep being the lovely, giving young person you obviously are!
Jennifer Hanks: YES!! To everything you've written here. <3
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My son and I on our first camping trip together.
. After a week of moping due to my impending separation from Aidan's father, I decided it was time to find happiness again. Who knew a twenty-year-old camper and a weekend with limited cell service would finally do the trick?
Some of my fondest memories from my childhood were when I was camping with my father. We spent countless summers traveling up and down the east coast, with our motor home as our guide. It was those trips that created the special bond my father and I share.
My parents divorce limited our visits to every other weekend and the length of my summer vacation from school. But my father knew how to make the most of them. Camping was "our thing." Last weekend gave me the opportunity to make it a "thing" for my son and I as well.Aidan's father has no interest in camping and never wanted to go. So at the last minute when my father invited us to tag along on his camping trip, I jumped at the chance with no guilt. I couldn't wait to teach Aidan all about "roughing it." Plus
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