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ICM Registry, the folks behind all those helpful .xxx domains, says its next step is to create a search engine exclusively for porn. It is to launch tomorrow.
It's a filthy nuisance trying to find a movie with three bisexual men and a hula dancer from New Jersey.
It's aggravating beyond acceptance not to be able to instantly discover 5 minutes of rubber-suited short people doing things that may or may not be suited to those above 3-foot-6.
It's not as if Google or Hollywood is fulfilling these needs.
So what joy to those of an imaginative -- or simply needy -- bent that topless men and women on white horses are galloping to the rescue.
For I bring news that tomorrow will see a search engine exclusively for pornography. Yes, tomorrow.
You will be snapped out of your stiff corporate posture to learn that ICM Registry, the people who brought you those very helpful, if still slightly under-used , .xxx domains, intends to launch this Pornoogle.
ICM's CEO Stuart Lawley told Network World that 21 million of the fine .xxx pages have been categorized and are ready to be uncovered on SearchXXX.
In case you might be skeptical, he told Network World: "It's porn, only porn, all porn. There's as much porn there as anyone would need, I'd imagine."
Imagination does tend to reside solely in the hands of the beholder. Still, Lawley promises your experience will be free of viruses.
For this he credits durable products made by McAfee.
Naturally, some might be suspicious that this little wriggling for supremacy might have something to do with Google adjusting its algorithm in order to downgrade porn sites, in favor of more, well, educative sexual matter.
As Lawley put it: "Google, in their wisdom, has decided that's more relevant to what their customers are looking for."
Clearly, anyone who goes to the new .xxx search engine will be in little doubt as to what they are seeking -- relief from life's drudgery.
Lawley promises that the new search engine's experience will be both calm and ad-free. Yes, just like Google, until recent pressures sent it to the commercial dogs .
I know that many will already be experiencing suitable palpitations at the prospect of tomorrow's launch.
For myself, I'm merely wondering whether it'll have an "I'm Feeling Lucky" button.
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Move over, Google. There's a new search engine in town, and it's most definitely not safe for work. BoodiGo allows you to anonymously "search [for] what you're really looking for" -- a.k.a. porn.
BoodiGo is the brainchild of porn producer and director Colin Rowntree, who is fed up with current search engine algorithms. According to Rowntree, sites like Google and Bing bury legitimate -- as in, not pirated -- porn websites in their search results.
Just like piracy is a huge issue for Hollywood, it's also a problem for the adult entertainment industry. When people don't pay for the content they're viewing, it's detrimental to everyone who put work into that content -- regardless of whether it's PG or X-rated.
BoodiGo blocks pirated porn from its results, so users can rest easy knowing that the stuff they're viewing is legal and virus-free. (No, not that kind of virus. Computer viruses, duh!)
The search engine helps people “find legitimate, legal, non-scary, non-damaging content for their adult entertainment needs,” Rowntree told Betabeat .
Interestingly, five of BoodiGo's programmers are ex-Google employees who left the company to help Rowntree build the site. They coded everything from scratch and even added a few perks that most current search engines don't have -- like the fact that BoodiGo won't sell your info to advertisers. This means that your dirty search history won't later creep up in sidebar ads across the Internet.
And as for the site's future possibilities, “We might end up experimenting with some kind of anonymous instant messaging service as an alternative to Skype or Google Chat,” Rowntree told Betabeat . “The obvious name for that will be Boodicall.”
We'll leave you with this classic scene from "30 Rock." Maybe one day, Tracy Jordan will ask Liz Lemon if he can BoodiGo himself in her office.
©2022 Viacom International Inc. All Rights Reserved. MTV and all related titles, logos and characters are trademarks of Viacom International Inc.
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Literotica: 5 websites to quench your online erotica thirst
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© 2022 PinkNews ⦁ All Rights Reserved
Websites like Literotica to get you hot and bothered. (Pexels)
Literotica, and other sites like it, will fill your evenings with erotic passion.
Imagine this: You’re at home and in the mood for some sexual mischief with erotica.
Except you’re alone under the covers and you don’t quite know how to satisfy those urges.
You’ve tried a couple of sites already, but it’s just not doing it for you this time. Sure, the internet has trillions of options when it comes to sexual fantasies, but it’s easy to get lost in the mix.
Without realising, you end up scrolling through the pages of Google for hours but, much like Bono, you still can’t find what you’re looking for.
Let’s consider something new, something exciting, something that will bring us that oh-so-personal release.
Videos are fun, but you’ve been there done that and it might be time to switch things up. Why not try to titillate your mind with some words instead of images? Rather than seeing the hairy butts of ageing actors, why not imagine your own, fictitious, perfect bottom?
Well, consider this our gift to you: A shortcut to the wonderful and inventive world of online erotica, where imagination is your only restrain (unless you’re into bondage, of course). This selection of erotica sites will hopefully save you some precious minutes next time you’re bored of Pornhub, YouPorn or GayForIt.
It is the place for free erotic fiction, and there are many websites that you can go to.
Needless to say these steamy reads are for 18+ only. Underaged readers need not apply.
When it comes to online erotica, Literotica is a titan of the genre – the clue is literally in the name. It leads the field like a Russian dominatrix, offering thousands of erotic stories with hundreds of tags that explore every sexual fantasy.
From vanilla to hardcore BDSM to everything in-between, we guarantee you’ll find something to float your boat to completion. It even has audiobooks for those who’d rather lie back and relax.
One of the most popular genre tags of this site is actually literotica cheating in which there’s an erotic story about cheating partners. Some people have some naught fantasies, it seems. No judgements here.
Literotica lesbian and Literotica gay erotica are also very popular on the site. There are many Literotica tags to pick from.
Of course, if you want some fiction erotica that caters to the LGBT+ community, PinkNews has you covered too, pals. Just head over to Nifty for some hot gay, lesbian, bi and plus action . With 23,000-plus stories, we guarantee it’ll leave your little gay heart satisfied. You won’t be disappointed with Nifty .
Bright Desire also features a wide range of free sex stories open to everyone, with a focus on what often missing in porn : the fun of it all. Not only is Bright Desire sex-positive, but it also offers videos and erotic stories that are all about passion, intimacy and straight up pleasure.
Much like Literotica, Lush Stories is a leader of the genre. Ghost sex? Check. Sex through portals? Check. Watersports sex? Check and check. Sexy ghosts playing water polo?
Probably. With 51,018 stories and counting, plus some 198,898 blog posts and 3,041,349 forum posts, we’d be surprised if you don’t find something that toasts your buns on there. Lush Stories works as a social network, too, giving you the chance to connect with other readers and maybe write your own stories.
Celebs you didn’t know have an LGBT sibling
Slightly differing from Literotica, this next website Sssh is operated by women for women—and we’re not complaining. It counts thousands of erotic stories, as well as sexy sex education articles so that you know the best way to do you.
Looking for something a little bit more refined? Erotic Review actually has editors that make sure you only read the best erotic stories out there. No typos or poor grammar here. It’ll satisfy your inner nitpicker and the most high-brow of your fantasies.
Have fun reading the erotic literature, my darlings. Happy Reading!
Maggie Baska
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