Incest Mom And Son Sexual
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Affiliation
1 Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, University of Oklahoma College of Medicine, Oklahoma City 73190.
Affiliation
1 Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, University of Oklahoma College of Medicine, Oklahoma City 73190.
Sexual abuse of male children by their mothers is rarely reported. However, it may not be as rare as commonly believed. Eight case histories are presented which exemplify mothers' sexual abuse of their sons to satisfy the mothers' own needs. In no case was the mother psychotic. In seven cases the mother began the seduction and sexual abuse while the son was prepubescent and continued until at least early adolescence. As adults, each of these sons experienced difficulty maintaining an intimate emotional and sexual relationship with one person, and most presented with some degree of depression. Substance abuse was present in five of eight cases.
Kelly RJ, Wood JJ, Gonzalez LS, MacDonald V, Waterman J. Kelly RJ, et al. Child Abuse Negl. 2002 Apr;26(4):425-41. doi: 10.1016/s0145-2134(02)00317-4. Child Abuse Negl. 2002. PMID: 12092807
Sirles EA, Franke PJ. Sirles EA, et al. Child Abuse Negl. 1989;13(1):131-9. doi: 10.1016/0145-2134(89)90036-7. Child Abuse Negl. 1989. PMID: 2706555
Rudominer HS. Rudominer HS. J Am Psychoanal Assoc. 2002 Summer;50(3):909-35. doi: 10.1177/00030651020500032101. J Am Psychoanal Assoc. 2002. PMID: 12434876
Moggi F. Moggi F. Z Klin Psychol Psychopathol Psychother. 1991;39(4):323-35. Z Klin Psychol Psychopathol Psychother. 1991. PMID: 1799078 Review. German.
Sheldrick C. Sheldrick C. Br J Psychiatry Suppl. 1991 May;(10):55-62. Br J Psychiatry Suppl. 1991. PMID: 1840746 Review.
Maikovich-Fong AK, Jaffee SR. Maikovich-Fong AK, et al. Child Abuse Negl. 2010 Jun;34(6):429-37. doi: 10.1016/j.chiabu.2009.10.006. Epub 2010 Apr 18. Child Abuse Negl. 2010. PMID: 20400178 Free PMC article.
Lawson L. Lawson L. Violence Vict. 2008;23(3):331-43. doi: 10.1891/0886-6708.23.3.331. Violence Vict. 2008. PMID: 18624098 Free PMC article.
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Forum rules
You are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature. The topics discussed may be triggering to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum. If you are posting about actions of yours which you feel are/were abusive please post about this in The Remorse Forum. If you have been falsely accused of abusing someone please post in the For Those Falsely Accused of Abusing thread.
Please also note that discussions about Incest in this forum are only in relation to abuse. Discussions about Incest in a non-abusive context are not allowed at PsychForums.
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by chinablue75 » Thu Nov 25, 2010 10:26 pm
Good evening
I am new here and have left a few PMs to other members and I hope I don't ramble too much.
I am unsure where to start but I suppose maybe the best place for me would be my earliest memories (I do hope I don't bore people) and I don't intend my posts to sound like an autobiography and I certainly don't want to upset anyone but I really want some help in understanding the person I'm becoming.
Even reading that last sentence back sounds crazy as by and large I don't think I'm a bad person although of late I have started to become scared of my own thoughts when alone and by posting all this stuff is stopping me doing other things I have become ashamed of.
I am a single mum of 35 yrs old with a wonderful 13 year old boy who is my world encapsulated and without him I know for sure I would be dead (but even that sounds nice to me sometimes).
Bear with me as I am struggling to make sense of the abuse I suffered at the hands of my mother and her many boyfriends and that in turn directly leads to choices I have made in partners etc.
From the age of three or maybe four i can remember being told to take my knickers off and sit on the laps of some the customers of my mum's pub whilst they rubbed my private areas. Sometimes I would squirm and try to get down and that would just make my mum angrier at me and so I learnt to stay fairly still in order to please her.
I still look for my mother's approval even now even though I know I never will have it and that is no good for me and all of my friends agree that my son and I are better off without her in my life and I know this too but the pain of seeing her drunk and helpless kills me and I continually feel guilty for my part in all of the abuse.
I know what 'they' did to me was very very wrong and I could no more subject my son or anyone else to what I went thru (maybe I can share more soon - but don't want to 'trigger' things for anyone - although most of this site probably triggers memories or worse for most of us in here ) but I do struggle with how it has affected me and I as I said earlier - I have such wierd thoughts and am scared of them. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know I'm not unique but thoughts of my incest, rape, torture sometimes turn me on and I really don't know why . I read other peoples posts and they seem to have a handle on this but I am ashamed to say that I am still lost as I am fearful of how all this sounds and I haven't scratched the surface of what I am trying to say. Please help x
by evanessence » Thu Nov 25, 2010 10:50 pm
first i should say out of all the people here i probably am not the best to give advice ,but when somebody just needs to know someone is reading i can do that .my first thought is i wouldn't want my kid around this women ,just being a boy don't mean he is safe from her .i don't know the circumstances ,but if she hasn't tried to explain her actions or show remorse then i'd cut her out period.i wasn't hurt by my mom or dad but he was family and i wouldn't spit on him even if he apologized. like i said people are real different ,for me when i was real young at the beginning of the stuff it felt good and remembering that part today can be like you said arousing ,so i don't think that part is too uncommon . one question ,you talk about your part in the abuse and guilt ,what was your part in it? you were a kid right? you were not in charge right? the one that was in charge knew you didn't like it and did nothing ,right?
seeing her drunk and helpless kills me
she saw you helpless and being molested ,but it didn't kill her did it? i am dealing with the same kind of problem ,being good kids we are loyal to our parents ,its instinct .it's part of the same connection that normaly means a mother would die to protect her kid .you are a good kid ,she is a crapola mother. you owe her nothing .you can care about her ,without excusing or even having contact with her. if she is miserable maybe thats how it is supposed to be ,kinda like a karma thing .its in no way your responsibility
by Onebravegirl » Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:04 pm
What you described was terrible hun. I am so sorry for you. I want you to know that I do not think what you are concerned about is shameful. When a child is introduced to sex as a form of attention and care, it only is natural that it leaves you confused as an adult.
Combine that with being a single mom-which I know very well is lonely at times-I think you are just longing for intense connection. And having been molested, your subconscious memory automatically jumps to what your body has already known.
Have you ever considered Therapy? It is possible to sort out what happened and have a new perception of what love and passion are.
With Hope,
One
Two men looked through bars. One saw Mud, the other saw Stars.
by chinablue75 » Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:26 pm
Thank you for your replies Evanessence (love that band by the way - is that why you chose the name?) and One.
At first I panicked when I read the first few lines of your reply E as I thought you meant my son shouldn't be around me and didn't think I was that bad but then I read further and I assume you meant my mum (right?) well I know she isn't a well person for what she has done and I am doing my very best to keep her away and she has always done quite a bit of damage to my son but hopefully he is getting help from Art Therapy etc to help him understand why up until recently I kept going back to her house and help her only to be bullied and hurt over and over again.
I do find it incredibly hard to not to engage with her as I have so many questions unanswered. We have attempted to talk about what happened back then as she used to deny all the time and for the most part she was paralyticly drunk whilst he (and they) did stuff to me but she can't deny her physical involvement on the number of occasions she went down on me whilst he forced me to give him oral or when she told me to be quiet (or else I'd wake my brother in the next room) and beat me when I cried too much. I left home really young and met children's sperm (he does not deserve any more than that word) just before my 11th birthday and was he was also a violent monster.
A couple of months ago I counted seven members of my family that have had sex with me before I was 12 and my mum allowed all of them to do this. I have recently met up with a cousin who also suffered abuse at the hands of two of these same people and I felt excited to finally connect with someone who remembers and acknowledges that it wasn't 'a figment of my overactive imagination' but feel bad if I am upsetting her by opening up old wounds. I think she is ok though as we have talked a lot about stuff and one of the perps (our step grandad) is now on an oxygen machine and we both voiced how we would just love to make him suffer but obviously can't for fear of recrimination.
I have witnessed and taken partaken in events that will haunt me forever and I have trouble sleeping because of all this on top of blaming myself for things I know not to be my fault. I want to share but fear of someone getting off on it frightens me.
One... I tried to explain about therapy on a face to face level and will go back sometime but am I able to share what happened in this forum? So much I need to release and I am finding it easier to write down than say.
But for now I will just try and forgive myself as there was a part of me that loved the attention in the beginning and even enjoyed the pain of later as a release from having to look at them and still fascinated with pushing my masochistic side to cope with the fall out of what they have done and I still am.
Hope this all makes sense.
Thank you for listening
CB XXXXXXX
by evanessence » Sat Nov 27, 2010 1:37 am
chinablue75 wrote:Thank you for your replies Evanessence (love that band by the way - is that why you chose the name?) and One.
At first I panicked when I read the first few lines of your reply E as I thought you meant my son shouldn't be around me and didn't think I was that bad but then I read further and I assume you meant my mum (right?) well I know she isn't a well person for what she has done and I am doing my very best to keep her away and she has always done quite a bit of damage to my son but hopefully he is getting help from Art Therapy etc to help him understand why up until recently I kept going back to her house and help her only to be bullied and hurt over and over again.
I do find it incredibly hard to not to engage with her as I have so many questions unanswered. We have attempted to talk about what happened back then as she used to deny all the time and for the most part she was paralyticly drunk whilst he (and they) did stuff to me but she can't deny her physical involvement on the number of occasions she went down on me whilst he forced me to give him oral or when she told me to be quiet (or else I'd wake my brother in the next room) and beat me when I cried too much. I left home really young and met children's sperm (he does not deserve any more than that word) just before my 11th birthday and was he was also a violent monster.
A couple of months ago I counted seven members of my family that have had sex with me before I was 12 and my mum allowed all of them to do this. I have recently met up with a cousin who also suffered abuse at the hands of two of these same people and I felt excited to finally connect with someone who remembers and acknowledges that it wasn't 'a figment of my overactive imagination' but feel bad if I am upsetting her by opening up old wounds. I think she is ok though as we have talked a lot about stuff and one of the perps (our step grandad) is now on an oxygen machine and we both voiced how we would just love to make
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