Incest Mama I Sin
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Incest Mama I Sin
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5/9/22
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A Michigan mom who fell in love with her biological son says a rare “genetic” phenomenon is responsible for their red-hot romance.
Kim West, 57, got pregnant as a teenager, and gave up her baby boy, Ben Ford, for adoption in the mid-1980s.
Ford, who is now 38, tracked down his mother eight years ago, and the pair formed a close bond. Things quickly turned sexual, and they went public with their incestuous relationship in 2016, with West boasting she had “mind-blowing sex” with her son.
The couple has subsequently kept a low profile in a bid to avoid being prosecuted for their illegal sexual relations, but say science is the reason they can’t keep their hands off each other.
“This is not incest, it is GSA. We are like peas in a pod and are meant to be together,” West declared to New Day, speaking about a phenomenon known as “genetic sexual attraction.”
The phenomenon was first identified back in the 1980s by Barbara Gonyo, a woman who ran a Chicago-based support group for adoptees and their newfound relatives. She coined the term “GSA” after noting that numerous people associated with the group became sexually attracted to their family members when they first met as adults.
Psychologist Corinne Sweet previously told New Day that she has come across the phenomenon while treating patients who had been in foster homes.
“At a genetic level, we are conditioned to find people who look like us attractive,” Sweet stated. “We have an almost tribal connection with family members with similar features. At the same time, people who are adopted or fostered feel deeply rejected. They have experienced a profound wound which isn’t easily healed.”
She further explained: “So when a son meets his birth mother, he feels a great rush of need. There’s an attraction and a longing there, and when it’s combined with the appeal of genetic similarity, it becomes a very powerful and complex cocktail which is incredibly seductive.”
However, other medical experts are skeptical of GSA, with New York City sex therapist Ian Kerner telling Women’s Health that the phenomenon has never been scientifically studied.
“I think that our mating systems tend to seek out genetic difference more than similarity,” he declared. “In the case of incest or romantic love between family members, I think you have to look at it case by case instead of generalizing it as a disorder or genetic condition.”
Meanwhile, clinical psychologist John Mayer bluntly told the magazine: “My professional opinion is that GSA is an excuse to give these people permission to break social norms.”
However, West and Ford say GSA adequately explains the instant attraction they felt for one another.
“I know people will say we’re disgusting, that we should be able to control our feelings, but when you’re hit by a love so consuming you are willing to give up everything for it, you have to fight for it,” West told New Day.
The loved-up mama continued: “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance and something Ben and I are not willing to walk away from.”
Her equally shameless son stated: “When I met Kim, I couldn’t think of her as my mom but instead as a sexual being. I had seen a therapist at an adoption support group and had learned about the GSA phenomenon.”
Making their relationship more shocking was the fact that Ford was married at the time they met. The smitten son soon dumped his wife in order to be in a relationship with his mom.
Ford told New Day that he couldn’t get his mother off his mind, saying to his spouse: “Every time I have had sex with you since I met her, I imagine it’s her I am kissing, otherwise I can’t perform.”
Meanwhile, West said it felt as if she and her son had “known each other for years” after they met as adults, describing their sex as “incredible” and “mind-blowing.”
But the couple should be careful about bragging about their hot sex, as incestuous relationships between adults are punishable by up to 15 years in prison in their home state of Michigan.
Anyone found guilty of such an offense would be required to sign the sex offenders registry for life.
'Incest' mum and son 'caught having sex after son's wife walks in on them'
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FIRST LOOK AT TWO 'lead family members' OF 'INCEST CLAN' COLT FARM IN AUSTRALIA
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Tony L Lavoie, 43, and his mum Cheryl Lavoie, 64 were allegedly caught having sex by Lavoie's wife, who walked in on the pair at their home in Massachusetts, US on May 20
A mum and son who were allegedly caught having sex after the son's wife walked in on them have appeared in court.
Tony L Lavoie, 43, and his mum Cheryl Lavoie, 64, were allegedly caught romping in Massachusetts, US on May 20.
Police were called to their home after reports of a disturbance, local newspaper Sentinel and Enterprise reports.
When officers arrived at the property, they were allegedly met by the cousin of Lavoie's wife, who claimed her relative had walked in on her husband having sex with his mum and phoned 911.
According to reports, the pair told police that it was consensual sex and that it was the first time sexual intercourse between them had happened.
When a police officer asked Lavoie why it had happened, he is said to have replied "I don’t know. It just happened.".
Lavoie allegedly claimed her and her son had become close before the incident, and had sex after kissing.
Police charged the mother and son with incest, which carries a maximum sentence of 20 years in jail.
Both pleaded not guilty to the charge when appearing in court.
At the hearing, the judge ordered the pair not to see each other.
They are next due in court on October 27.
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Imao sam otprilike šest godina i dalje sam tražio mami da me uspava.
Kada sam video na internetu tekst "Direktorka Etnografskog muzeja Mirjana Menković omogućila je sinu da pravi svadbu u ovom, jednom od najstarijih muzeja na Balkanu", samo sam pomislio koje sve ludosti majke rade za svoje sinove. Onda sam sebe postavio u poziciju tog sina i shvatio da su neke majke najbolji manipulatori na svetu, a na kraju balade, još bude i žrtva koja će mu svakom prilikom "natrljati nos" šta je sve učinila za njega.
"Moja mama divno
priča svake noći
o nekakvim prinčevima
što će doći
i princeza ima
neka u toj priči
mama kaže da na
mene liči
a izmisli čini mi se vrlo
često imena i
prezimena i sve resto
zatim počne da mi
pjeva neke pjesme
sasvim tiho jesen
jače ne sme:
i sve tako dok ne
zaspi,dok ne zaspi
ona sama a ja
tiho sasvim tiho
kažem tati spava mama."
To je pesma koju je meni majka pevala kad me je uspavljivala, a imao sam otprilike šest godina i dalje sam tražio mami da me uspava, da bude tu, da mi veže pertle čak i obriše guzu kad kakim, zašto ne, jer je sve to sa zadovoljstvom činila. Nikada nije insistirala da sam odradim neke stvari. Kako bi ona sada rekla "Nikada se nisam vodila priručnicima za odgoj dece!"
Volela je jako često da mi uradi domaći ili nacrta crtež, jer bi mene to mrzelo. Naravno majka je sela, nacrtala, potrudila se da to verodostojno izgleda. Posle bismo uz neki dobar krimi film analizirali loše postupke oca, koji se obično kasno vraćao kući dok sam bio mali. Dakle, već od malih nogu smo postajali saveznici, a sestra je bila mala, mlađa šest godina koja je bila zaštićeni svedok cele naše porodice i nikada nije bila umešana u ozbiljnije događaje, jer je ''mala''.
Kako su godine prolazile, naš odnos je sve 'čvršći', 'iskreniji'. Postajem polako mamina desna ruka, a i ona moja, kao da se pupčana vrpca nije ni presekla, a zapravo se i tu u nekom uzrastu adolescencije kristalizuje reč manipulacija i samo njeno značenje, ali i postavljanje pitanja 'Da li je to što moja majčica radi manipulacija ili ja manipulišem njome, zapravo da li postoji mogućnost da jedno drugo manipulišemo'?
Nikad mi nije bilo jasno zašto je mojoj mami bitan taj nedeljni ručak i da svo četvoro budemo na okupu, kada ništa ne funkcioniše kako treba?! Zašto mama mene non stop involvira u svoj brak, a da tata nema ni pojma o tome? Zašto joj je izgovor da nam ne bi bilo lepo bez oca ako se razvedu? Zašto mislim da je moja mama borac i za šta se ona uopšte bori? Zašto je sve moje nestašluke krila od oca, a posle me terala da budem zahvalan zbog toga? Šta joj uopšte znači rečenica ''Ubio bi te otac da ovo zna!''
Zašto mislim da je moja mama borac i za šta se ona uopšte bori?
Sve i dok pišem ovaj tekst sa namerom da možda opravdam to ponašanje i dalje imam ogromnu dozu paranoje da ja nisam u pravu i da sam ja kriv za mnoge stvari pa neka sam, ali sada nakon dosta analize mogu sve da razumem, a da ne osudim, razdvojim odnos sa majkom i odnos sebe sa samim sobom.
Prvo pitanje na terapiji je bilo:" Kakav vam je odnos sa majkom?" Najviše je volim na svetu, a onda se posvađamo pa ne mogu da je podnesem narednih pola sata, a onda kreće griža savesti i šlihtanje. Uvek se nakon svađe setim scene iz filma I killed my mother kada majka prati sina u internat u koji on ne želi i na rastanku je pita "Šta bi uradila da ja sada umrem?", na šta ona za sebe kaže "Umrla bih i ja istog trenutka ?" i onda pomislim da bi moja majka dala isti odgovor. "Zbog čega se svađate, šta joj zamerate?" Pa verovatno smo se udaljili, jer nismo živeli više od pet godina zajedno, ali ona je i dalje ista, nabija mi na nos sve što radim, nije zadovoljna mojim pozivom, nije zadovoljna odnosom sa ocem, svaki dan kuka kako je boli neki drugi deo tela, objašnjava mi kako nema izlaz za neke finansijske probleme, ali ko tu mene pita 28 godina, kako sam ja, da li sam zaljubljen i da li patim, da li imam novca. Šta mene boli? Zapravo uvek sam ja taj koji treba da bude najzreliji, onaj koji radi od svoje 17-e godine, stariji brat, svedok, savetnik itd.
Terapeutkinja mi je pored analiza ostalih stvari uočila jedan sasvim novi, ali dovoljno jasan termin Emocionalni incest , što bi se recimo na prvi pogled moglo definisati kao velika ljubav prema detetu pomešana sa pasivnom agresijom i manipulacijom. Pa i bio sam u pravu, ali sam samo sebi postavio par pitanja i našao odgovore, jer je to bio i jedini način kako da sve to razumem, a da me toliko ne dotiče, jer se zaista vodim time da stvari koje ne razumemo ne možemo da osuđujemo:
Zašto roditelj i dete ne treba da budu najbolji prijatelji?
Kako roditelj, razočaran brakom, od deteta pravi partnera?
Kako da deca koja nisu smela da budu deca povrate svoje živote?
Kada odrastu u kakve veze ulaze i kako iz njih izlaze: mamin mali muškarac, mamin sin, mamin princ, mamin ispovednik, mamin terapeut ( ovo sam sve bio ja)?
Žrtve prikrivenog incesta, koji se naziva i emocionalnim seksualnim zlostavljanjem, trpe bol sličan onome s kojim se suočavaju i žrtve otvorenog incesta. To se mnogo teže prepoznaje budući da ne dolazi do direktnog seksualnog kontakta. (Opširnije o tome v. u: Bradshaw, 1988. i Woititz, 1985.) Premda o broju slučajeva otvorenog incesta postoje neke procene, o žrtvama prikrivenog incesta ne postoje slične statistike.Taj broj može biti ogroman, budući da se mogućnost za prikriveni incest javlja kad god se u emocionalnoj, duhovnoj i seksualnoj vezi među roditeljima dešava hroničan lom.
Prikriveni incest se događa kada dete postane objekat roditeljeve privrženosti, ljubavi, strasti i preokupacije. Roditelj, koga motivišu samoća i praznina nastale u hronično problematičnom braku ili partnerskom odnosu, od deteta pravi surogat partnera. Granica između zdrave i incestuozne roditeljske ljubavi biva prekoračena kada taj odnos sa detetom ima za cilj da zadovolji roditeljeve a ne detetove potrebe. Kako se brak sve više pogoršava, zavisnost od deteta raste, te su u reakciji roditelja suprotnog pola na dete sve prisutnija osećanja ljubomore i očajanja, kao i neprihvatanje ličnih granica deteta. Dete postaje objekat kojim roditelj manipuliše i koji koristi da bi izbegao bol i realnost problematičnog braka.
Robert Barni, terapeut i duhovni učitelj, u svojoj knjizi: "Ples ranjenih duša" piše ovako: "Zamislite sledeći scenario: majka je u spavaćoj sobi i plače, njeno trogodišnje dete naiđe. Detetu izgleda kao da majka umire, prestrašeno kaže: Volim te, mama! Majka pogleda u svoje dete, oči joj se ispune ljubavlju i osmeh joj se razvuče licem: Oh, dušo, toliko te volim, ti si moj divan dečak [divna devojčica], dođi da te zagrlim, činiš me tako srećnom.
Dirljiva scena? Ne! Emocionalno zlostavljanje! Dete je upravo dobilo poruku da ima moć da spasi majci život, a pošto ima moć onda ima i odgovornost za mamin život i mamina osećanja.Ovo je emocionalno zlostavljanje i priprema razvoj emocionalno incestuoznog odnosa u kome se dete oseća odgovorinim za emotivne potrebe roditelja. "
Sve porodice funkcionišu kao sistem u kom postupci jedne osobe utiču na drugu i obrnuto. Premda svaka osoba funkcioniše samostalno, ona isto tako utiče na celinu kao što i celina utiče na nju. Salvador Minuhin u svojoj knjizi Porodice i porodična terapija (Minuchin, Families and Family Therapy) kaže da porodični sistem ima funkciju ili svrhu da teži da povrati ravnotežu kada joj je ona narušena. Dakle, u bračnoj vezi koja se ne gradi na zdrav način, roditeljeve nezadovoljene potrebe za zavisnošću, bliskošću i emocionalne potrebe bivaju ispunjene ostatkom sistema – decom.
Sam pokušaj racionalizacije tog odnosa je jako dug i mukotrpan posao. Ponekad sam pomišljao da pustim taj odnos i da ne radim na njemu. Teško je. To je majka, jedan oblik božanstva. Kakva god da je ona je moja majka i ne postoji druga. Ostalo mi je da je prihvatim onakvu kakva ona jeste sa svim vrlinama i manama.Zatvorio sam poglavlje, razveo se od nje i sada je samo odlično osećam i razumem, samo više nisam deo toga! To je recimo slično kao kada se roditelji razvedu, pa jedan shvati sve greške, ali više nema potrebu da bude učesnik, jer je racionalizovao taj odnos.
Ja i dalje obožavam svoju majku, samo sada kapiram sve.
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"Fuj, mama je opet gola" - čula sam da se moj sedmogodišnji sin žali mlađoj sesti.
Primetio je to kada je došao ujutro kod mene u krevet da se pomazimo. Nije nikako reagovao, mazili smo se i ćaskali desetak minuta, a onda je izašao iz sobe i naleteo u hodniku na sestricu, pa ju je upozorio da sam gola - priseća se mama i blogerka iz Australije, Karolin Tejt.
Moj sin se užasava da me viđa golu, i trudim se da to ne shvatim lično. Nedavno je komentarisao da kada se sagnem, stomak mi visi, i nažalost to je potpuna istina. Rekla sam mu da su za to krivi on i njegova sestra koji su unutra živeli svako po deve
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