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When My Little Sister Wants to Play 'Doctor'
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My sister is 10 years old, and we all try to encourage her to use her imagination and play. In this day and age, I feel like sometimes everyone (including kids) are too busy looking at screens for entertainment instead of entertaining themselves. I try to explain to her that I wish I felt like doing all the things she can, but having chronic fatigue syndrome leaves me very limited.
Naturally, she wants to play games and do things with me. We might play a game on the card table, where I can lay in the chair on the heating pad. She plays restaurant and brings me food. She made her own menu and everything. Then we swap roles and I bring her fake food.
However, after we were done playing restaurant, she wanted to play doctor. This may sound silly, possibly petty or even me just being plain sensitive. I told her alright, we can play that. She asks me why I am there, and of course, playing doctor is no fun if there is nothing wrong with you. Right? It makes sense for a kid to want to have something wrong with the other. That is what playing doctor is anyway.
I just kept hoping she would not bring up my illness. She had done it in the past. She had asked why I was there and even had a cure for it. I wish she did, I guess she wished so too. I had to explain to her over and over how it works. Do I expect her to perfectly understand? Of course not. But it sometimes seems like she does not believe me.
In the end, all she did was say I had strep throat. She then “removed” my tonsils later.
Every time she asks if I want to play doctor, my stomach drops. I am sick of doctors. I am sick of going to doctors with all sorts of things wrong with me and being told there is either nothing they can do or they do not believe me.
I hate that I am this way, and I hate that the very thought of playing doctor fills me with such dread and fear.
I hate that I am 22 years old, and I have enough diagnoses on my chart that it takes up many pages.
I hate that the smallest thing like this triggers all these emotions. I hate explaining it, so I typically don’t.
When my younger sister wants to play doctor, I do. I play with her. I swallow these emotions, because the last thing I need to do is make her feel like she needs to walk on eggshells.
I try my best to not let everything affect me personally, like when people that say, “if you do not have a wheelchair, you should not use the handicap parking.”
It’s those who refuse to believe someone as young as me can relate on a personal level to my grandmother and have numerous health problems.
It’s those using my illness as a joke or a fake reason not to have a job.
It’s those people who direct something at one population, and yet I get offended.
I feel like ableism is real, but I also feel I need to remember not everyone is aware. I was not aware til I got sick at 19. I was not aware of the world of chronic illness.
Educate those around you. Spread awareness not just for the illness you personally have, but the whole spoonie world.
We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor .
CFS/ME, Fibromyalgia, and Scoliosis. Possibly IBS. Depression. Married, 24. Taurus and INFJ. Demi.
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November 16, 2017 / 6:45 PM
/ CBS News

When Demetris Payne saw a missed call from her son's junior high school, she knew something was wrong.
With a sigh, the single mom of four from Shreveport, Louisiana, called back. A school official said her 13-year-old son Jadarien was suspended for three days for talking back to his teacher. She was told to pick him up right away.
"Three days seems kind of harsh -- why not do in-school suspension?" Payne asked.
But since Jadarien had been in trouble once before, they said he had to leave.
As soon as the pair got home, Payne took away her son's cellphone and video games. She left him with her 70-year-old father who lives with them.
"When I got home from work he's eating strawberries and having fun with my dad," Payne told CBS News. "I was like, 'Oh no.' It was like a vacation."
Payne knew she needed to do more to discipline him.
So she handed him a rake and asked him to start cleaning up the yard. When he was finished, she told him he'd be volunteering his lawn care services free of charge for people in need during the remainder of his suspension.
"He didn't believe it," Payne said. "I can be soft on him and baby him sometimes."
But Payne was serious. She posted a photo of Jadarien on Facebook with the heading, "Yard service - FREE," explaining that he got suspended from school and would mow lawns, pick up trash or wash cars for members of the community over the next three days.
Within hours, Payne got requests from several residents taking her up on the offer.
So she drove Jadarien from house to house. She stood by the car and watched him work. He mowed lawns, picked up pine needles and raked leaves.
"He didn't complain the whole time," Payne said.
Jadarien spent about two hours cleaning up the yards. He ended up hitting at least eight different homes. When he was finished, Payne took him to the library, where he spent the rest of the day reading and completing homework assignments.
"We explained to him that these chores weren't to punish, punish, punish, but to teach him a lesson and teach him about discipline," Payne said. "No matter if the teacher is right or wrong -- always respect your teachers, respect adults."
On Tuesday, Jadarien was happy to finally head back to school.
Look who's back at school. Meeting with all his teachers and set up a plan so we can make sure he stays on track....
The eighth-grader's classmates and teachers said they saw him on Facebook.
"He just laughed it off," Payne said. "Some people say he was 'shamed.' He wasn't shamed at all. He's not that type of kid. He really isn't."
Payne sat down with Jadarien's teachers to help come up with a plan to keep him on track. However, she's confident Jadarien learned his lesson.
Hundreds of people have shared Payne's Facebook post over the past week, many praising her for her unique approach to discipline.
"Beautiful idea! Parenting done right," one Facebook user commented.
"Raising your child to learn consequences for unacceptable behavior falls under good parenting 101," another wrote.
Payne said she hopes her other kids -- ages 3, 8 and 17 -- also learned something from Jadarien's experience. But if she has to do it all over again, she will.
"Single parents, do not give up. Keep encouraging your child. When one avenue doesn't work try another avenue. Get to the root of the problem," she advised.

First published on November 16, 2017 / 6:45 PM

© 2017 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Copyright ©2022 CBS Interactive Inc. All rights reserved.

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