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"The sexual intensity was nothing like I'd ever felt before. It was like being loved by a parent you never had, and the partner you always wanted, at once."
Note: The following article contains reference to sexual misconduct that some readers may find distressing.
Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) seems to be a real topic of discussion at the moment, with numerous stories of long-lost family members who reunited only to discover an intense sexual attraction, being bandied about all over the place.
And another one has emerged today, in the form of an interview by Jezebel. In an initial first-hand piece published by the site, a woman called Natasha described her experience of GSA. Meeting her father aged 19, she ended up engaging in a sexual relationship with him, all the while struggling with the countering emotions of self-loathing and disgust.
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Natasha didn't grow up with her father, explaining that he actually left while her mum was pregnant. But she says her mother's following relationship with a woman didn't leave an unfilled hole for a male authority figure.
"My mom's long-term partner was a patriarchal butch lesbian, so I already had a 'father figure' in my immediate family," she said.
But because her mum's partner, whom she split with when Natasha was 19, had been emotionally abusive, she set about tracking down her father.
"I was desperate for anything else. So when I found my dad, it didn't matter that he was a man, it just mattered that he was a parent," she recollected.
After Googling her father's name, she managed to track him down as living in Jamaica, and says he was "thrilled" at her getting in touch. When Natasha first met her father, she describes being "taken with him, but in a nonsexual way," until a year later when she recalls feeling sexually attracted to him, and during the following year she and her father had oral sex "four or five times over the course of a few days."
Discussing her intimate relationship with her father, Natasha labelled it "crazy", but not necessarily in a bad way.
But the progression of their sexual experience only stopped because her father took control. "I had tried to have unprotected intercourse with him, which I had never done before in my life," she said, "and he stopped me and said, 'We can't, I'm your father'."
While this made Natasha believe her father was trying to protect her at the time, years later she thinks of his actions as "terrifying".
Following that trip to Jamaica - which had been her third - Natasha felt so disgusted at herself that she entered into therapy and stopped seeing her father. Although he was in contact with her at the beginning of her counselling sessions, she soon began to feel angry at the situation and stopped answering his calls.
"He wound up sending me an email eventually, apologizing," Natasha recalled. "It wasn't a particularly long or insightful message. It was just, 'I'm really sorry for what happened.' Too little, too late."
If you are upset by anything you have read and would like support, reach out to ISAS (incest and sexual abuse survivors).
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You are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature. The topics discussed may be triggering to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum. If you are posting about actions of yours which you feel are/were abusive please post about this in The Remorse Forum. If you have been falsely accused of abusing someone please post in the For Those Falsely Accused of Abusing thread.
Please also note that discussions about Incest in this forum are only in relation to abuse. Discussions about Incest in a non-abusive context are not allowed at PsychForums.
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by Fivehop » Tue Jan 24, 2017 10:16 am
A bit of a trigger warning. Please do not read this if you are extremely sensitive about molestation and such...
Hi everyone! This is my first post. Recently I've been opening up about my situation and trying to see if I could find help. So here it goes I guess. Anyways, when I was 5 years old, I was molested by my stepdad, Mike (Not his real name, but we'll just call him that). This was when I first came to him and my mum (I used to live with my actual dad, *mod edit*). Anywho, that's what happened to me. He continued molesting me up until I hit age 12/13. I'm 16 now, turning 17 soon. He stopped ever since I became a teenager and we moved to a different state. This is going to get a bit too personal but I need to just lay everything down on the table...
Mike did a lot of things to me and I'd do the same. We both used to give each other oral. He'd have anal sex with me sometimes and much more. He didn't take my virginity or anything, but he did try once. (No one ever caught us). For most of my life I grew up thinking this was okay. Of course I was little when he first started touching me, so I had no clue what this was. All I knew is that the things he was doing to me felt good and I felt the same way to him. I didnt think this was how it happened with every father-daughter relationship. I just thought that's how HIS AND I father-daughter relationship worked and it was our secret. It wasn't until I hit 8-9 years old when I found out that it wasn't okay. I asked him about it and said "I don't like this anymore. It doesn't feel right. It's wrong!" He decided to be manipulative and said "But you liked it. I'll be sad too." I started sobbing (which he didn't expect) and said "I want a normal relationship with you." Since I was a little older, I finally knew what was going on. He felt bad. He started understanding how much it was taking an affect on me and stopped touching me (as much. He still couldn't help himself sometimes...) A couple years later on Halloween 2011, he decided to take us to Disney Land. On our drive back from Disney Land, I was in the front and he decided to touch my lower area and grope my breasts when I was sleeping. I woke up and couldn't move. I just pretended to stay asleep. I thought it was over already, but apparently he decided that was officially the last time. Skip down a couple more years later, we decide to move to a different state. I was 12 turning 13 now and we both decide to forget all that happened. He apologized before we moved on and never talked about it again. Also, during all of this he wasn't hurting me. He never forced me down or anything. He just somehow got me to do whatever he said. Anyways, now that we're in a different town, state, environment and such, things seemed better. When I got into my freshman year though, things were just okay. I'd still get nightmares of being touched. Not only that, but my mum's health was plummeting along with my grades. Things were really tough for my mum and she gets stressed out so easily. And the only one who really steps up to help her is Mike...The thing is, I know he loves my mum. He really does. My mum loves him too. My nightmares and thoughts won't go away though. Even though he's emotionally scarred me, he's also done a lot to have a roof over our head and food on the table. He's made my mum very happy (most of the time). He does anything she needs to make sure she's healthy and okay. He works not only to have a home, but to pay for all her medical things. In short, he loves my mum to death and does a lot for me too. He tries a lot to make up for what he did. My thoughts and emotions have been playing me for years. I'm so confused and hurt. Despite the fact he's molested me for years, I still love and care about him as my actual dad. Other than him doing things to me, he's been a good dad. I see the way he acts around me when he says sorry for what he's done. I see how much he's changed since we've moved. I've seen how he goes out of his way to do so much for my siblings (who are much older than me), niece, nephew, and mum. At the same time though all I see is a perverted, sick, twisted man that I still smile at every day. I guess this is where I stop to ask for help. I have no clue what to do. I want to report him and tell my family what he did to me, but I love him. I know as soon as I tell the truth about what he did to me years ago, my brother will physically hurt him if not kill. My brother respects our stepdad too. My sister barely got used to him and started liking him. I've always been close to him though because I came to him as a young kid. I love him, but I don't love what he used to do. Recently, I've told him how I felt and how it still scars and hurts me to see him and think about the old stuff that happened. I told him I don't want him to leave. I told him I love him and he's still my dad. I said all these good things about him, but I also told him he hurt me, left me emotionally scarred, and traumatized me. I don't think any amount of sorrys could help me. I also opened up to a few of my friends about this. Half of them know the name of who did it and situation, but half of them only know the situation. I feel as if I made a mistake though. I tend to keep everything inside so when I let everything out and told them the truth, my emotions were just everywhere. They're all supportive, but I hate how I damaged his image/name. Most of them liked him too. I know I shouldn't feel bad, but I do because I still love him. What do I do? I can't tell my family. We all love him so much. It hurts to see him, but if he leaves or if he somehow ends up in jail, it'll hurt more to see him go. Plus my mum's health would just get worse, she's already so sick.
Last edited by quietgirl2538 on Tue Jan 24, 2017 9:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: privacy
by AShatteredSoul » Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:02 pm
I'm not sure I could actually offer you any advice on what to do...
But I had almost the same thing happen to me...
My abuse stopped when I was around 7 and started when I was around 3. It was by someone that I loved, still love...
I'm almost 23 now, and I didn't tell anyone what happened to me until I was in my last year of high school. To this day my family still doesn't know, because it would just be worse.
Anyways...
If you ever just need someone to talk to you can always message me...
Also there is an online chat hotline and a hotline that you can actually call.
It's at rainn.org, the number is 800.656.HOPE (4673)...
They might be able to help you figure out what to do.
My Scars, They are like stripes on a Tiger.
What makes Him unique. Makes Him Beautiful.
No, I won't be ashamed. Won't hide them.
They Are My Stripes.
To show, I do have Willpower, Strength & Courage. That I Am Beautiful. No matter what anyone says. (Even Myself)
I'll embrace the Tiger. Listen to His Soul.
by quietgirl2538 » Fri Jan 27, 2017 11
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