Incest Bondage
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Incest Bondage
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There are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma. But that may short-change the future—which starts by our envisioning something better.
Posted April 28, 2008
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Reviewed by Devon Frye
Fellow "Experiments in Philosophy " blogger Jesse Prinz posted about UVA psychologist Jon Haidt's work on political differences. I want to continue exploring the philosophical implications of Haidt's work by asking whether it's all right for Julie and her brother Mark to have sex .
Here's a scenario drawn from a study Haidt conducted:
"Julie and Mark are brother and sister. They are traveling together in France on summer vacation from college. One night, they are staying alone in a cabin near the beach. They decide that it would be interesting and fun if they tried making love. At the very least, it would be a new experience for each of them. Julie was already taking birth control pills, but Mark uses a condom, too, just to be safe. They both enjoy making love, but they decide never to do it again. They keep that night as a special secret, which makes them feel even closer to each other. What do you think about that? Was it okay for them to make love?"
If you're like most people, your response is "absolutely not," but you'll find it more difficult than you think to come up with a justification. "Genetic defects from inbreeding." Yes, but they were using two forms of birth control. (And in the vanishingly small chance of pregnancy , Julie can get an abortion.) "It will mess them up emotionally." On the contrary, they enjoyed the act and it brought them closer together. "It's illegal." Not in France. "It's disgusting." For you, maybe, but not for them (obviously). Do you really want to say that private acts are morally wrong just because a lot of people find those acts disgusting? And so on.
The scenario, of course, is designed to ward off the most common moral objections to incest, and in doing so demonstrate that much of moral reasoning is a post-hoc affair—a way of justifying judgments that you've already reached though an emotional gut response to a situation. Although we like to think of ourselves as arriving at our moral judgments after painstaking rational deliberation (or at least some kind of deliberation) Haidt's model—the "social intuititionist model"—sees the process as just the reverse. We judge and then we reason. Reason is the press secretary of the emotions, as Haidt is fond of saying—the ex post facto spin doctor of beliefs we've arrived at through a largely intuitive process.
As Haidt recognizes, his theory can be placed within a grand tradition of moral psychology and philosophy—a return to an emphasis on the emotions which began in full force with the work of Scottish philosophers Adam Smith and David Hume. Although the more rationalist theories of Piaget and Kohlberg were dominant for much of the twentieth century, Haidt-style views have gained more and more adherents over the last 10 years. Which leads to the question: are there any philosophical/ethical implications of this model, should it be the right one? Plenty, in my view, and I'll conclude this post by mentioning just a few of them.
First, although Haidt may disagree (see my interview with him for a discussion about this issue), I believe Haidt's model supports a subjectivist view about the nature of moral beliefs. My thinking is as follows: We arrive at our judgments through our emotionally charged intuitions—intuitions that do not track any kind of objective moral truth, but instead are artifacts of our biological and cultural histories. Haidt's model reveals that there is quite a bit of self-deception bound up in moral beliefs and practice. The strength of these intuitions leads us to believe that the truth of our moral judgments is "self-evident"—think: the Declaration of Independence—in other words, that they correspond to an objective moral reality of some kind. That is why we try so hard to justify them after the fact. But we have little to no reason to believe that this moral reality exists.
(I should add that contrary to the views of newspaper columnists across the country, claiming that a view might lead to moral relativism or subjectivism is not equivalent to saying that the view is false. This is not a reductio ad absurdum . If Haidt's model is vindicated scientifically, and it does indeed entail that moral relativism or subjectivism is true, then we have to accept it. Rejecting a theory just because you feel uncomfortable about its implications is a far more skeptical or nihilistic stance than anything I've discussed in this post.)
Second, and less abstractly, I think it would make sense to subject our own values to far more critical scrutiny than we're accustomed to doing. If Haidt is right, our values may not be on the secure footing that we believe them to be. We could very well find that upon reflection, many of our values do not reflect our considered beliefs about what makes for a good life.
It's important to note that Haidt does not claim that it's impossible for reason to change our moral values or the values of others. He just believes that this kind of process happens far less frequently than we believe—and furthermore, that when values are affected by reason, it is because reason triggers a new emotional response which, in turn, starts a new chain of justification.
Finally, I think we might become a little more tolerant of the moral views of others (within limits, of course—sometimes too much tolerance is tantamount to suicide ). Everyone is morally motivated, as Haidt says: liberals should stop thinking of conservatives as motivated only by greed and racism . And conservatives should stop thinking of liberals as—as Jesse Prinz puts it in his post—"either tree-hugging fools or calculating agents of moral degeneracy."
More importantly, if Haidt is correct, we must recognize even the people we consider to be the epitome of pure evil—the Islamic fundamentalists who engineered 9/11, for example—are motivated by moral goals , however distorted we find them to be. As Haidt told me in our interview:
"One of the most psychologically stupid things anyone ever said is that the 9/11 terrorists did this because they hate our freedom. That's just idiotic. Nobody says: 'They're free over there. I hate that. I want to kill them.' They did this because they hate us; they're angry at us for many reasons, and terrorism and violence are 'moral' actions—by which I don't mean morally right, I mean morally motivated."
It seems plausible that in order to shape our policies properly, we need to have an accurate understanding of the moral motivations of the people with whom we're at war.
Haidt, J . (2001). The emotional dog and its rational tail: A social intuitionist approach to moral judgment. Psychological Review. 108, 814-834
August 2005 interview with Jon Haidt in The Believer.
Tamler Sommers is a professor of philosophy at the University of Houston.
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There are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma. But that may short-change the future—which starts by our envisioning something better.
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A few years ago I created a survey on Mister Poll for Mother's Tied up. I kept checking for months but the poll never got put up. I gave up until a little while ago and discovered it had gone up and people had voted! I can't see the poll for some reason because it states "You have already voted". If the link is still good and anyone wishes to, drop me a line letting me know it's still active. Further if it is and there are mothers, aunts or older sisters and the like who wish to vote, please do. I'd love to see the results. And to that, if you wish to relate your story send it please. I'd be happy to put it up on my Deviant page credited or a
It 's summer and as usual Steve after spending the day playing with friends, come home to late, do a quick shower, turn on your computer and monitor facebook, until you notice the strange, the house seems empty, too quiet, she wonders if her mother will not be output to go somewhere or some friend, curious down the stairs and go to see the house, the garden with the pool is empty, the machine is still in the garage, so think that can be output on foot, in returning to his room wants to take a peek into her mother's room.
When he opens the door he was presented this: his mother is half-naked in bed, completely bound, at the time he was a hit,
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I had been tying up mom since I was young and always when we had the house to ourselves. Nothing too drastic, usually sitting in a chair with her feet tied together and her hands in her lap. Looking back I think at any time she could have just stool up and the ropes would have fallen off of her. And the gag. I don’t think a cloth across her mouth really did anything. But she loved me and indulged my idiosyncrasies. It wasn’t until Brandon came over that I got a clear understanding of what it was to really tie someone up.
Brandon was the brother of our babysitter. Breann would come over sometimes when my parents were going out and I would play these games with her. She must have told Brandon because I had mentioned to her that I tied up my mother once and a while.
One day at school Brandon came over and asked if we could play together. I was only six or seven at the time and he was at least twelve. I was confused but happy that an older kid wanted to have anything to do with a little kid like me.
The day it happened was when he asked if he could come over after school to have a play day. I said sure. He asked me if my mother would be home and I told him sure, where else would she be? Then he asked if my dad would be also. I told him my dad was on afternoon shift so he wouldn’t be home until late at night. This seemed to please him. I sensed something funny about those questions and decided that I should call my mother to see if it was alright to have him over. I told him I’d still have to check with my mother first.
So after school I asked if Brandon could come over. Mom asked if he was the bother of Breann our babysitter and I said yes. She knew him and thought it would be great. I called Brandon to tell him it would be alright to come over and he said he’d be by after dinner. So after dinner there was a knock on the door. My mother greeted Brandon warmly and invited him in.
He was very cordial and polite with my mom which was a little out of character because he was more of a tough guy at school. He came in and I noticed he had a knap sack with him. I was hoping that he brought over some of his cool ‘big boy’ toys to play with but he didn’t say anything about the bag. We adjourned to my room and started playing on my game console. I kept looking at his bag and finally asked him what was in the bag.
He smiled without taking his eyes of the screen and told me that it was things he used when he played cops and robbers. Oh boy I thought, I loved playing cops and robbers. I asked him if we could play. I had the toy gun, police badge and plastic handcuffs; all us kids had at one time. I told him I could play the cop and he could play the robber because I had all the cop stuff.
He said sure but wanted to change the game. Intrigued I asked him how. He said he would break into a house and take someone hostage. Then I would have to subdue the robber and rescue the hostage. This was a new take on how I traditionally played with mom. She was always the robber and I would catch her in the act to which we’d have a shootout with her missing every shot and me not.
Now who to play the hostage he asked. Right away I volunteered my mom. His eyes lit up and told me that was a great idea. So off I went to inform my mom we’d be taking her hostage in our game. Once informed she asked how does this go then? I didn’t know so I called Brandon over to explain. He very politely and calmly told my mom that she be taken hostage then be rescued by the cop, her son. I think she was impressed by his sincere and polite demeanour and quickly agreed.
So off we went. I went to get my gun belt and gun, badge, handcuffs and police cap while Brandon retrieved his back pack. We all met in the kitchen and decided how this was going to take place. Brandon took the lead and said he would sneak up on my mom then take her hostage. I was to wait out of sight and come when he was ready. We decided that I should wait in the living room while he took her to the rec-room downstairs. We all agreed. Then my mom asked how was she going to be kept? In a room, under a table. Where?
Then Brandon said he would tie her up on the carpet down stairs, this way there wouldn’t be any obstacles like a door or table and chairs to get in the way. Tied up I thought. Up until now I had never thought of playing cops and robbers this way. I wasn’t sure about letting someone else tie up my mom either because that was my thing. But when I looked over at my mom she seemed quite complacent to play. Who was I to object? Until then the only way I saw tying someone up was by the feeble way I had tied my mom. So with a slight regret I agreed.
As they made their way down stairs Brandon stopped me and said I have to wait up here until he was done. He didn’t want me to interfere or know exactly where she was downstairs.
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