IRAN: Tehran University Offers Crash Course in "Strategic Panic"

With chaos mounting, Tehran University has launched a short course titled "Strategic Panic: Managing Emotional Collapse in Public Spaces." The curriculum includes classes like "Screaming Efficiently," "Breathing in Gridlock," and "Post-Apocalyptic Networking." Professors say the goal is not to eliminate fear, but to weaponize it. "Panic is a tool," said Dr. Shirin Pakravan. "Like Excel, but louder." Students receive credit for dramatic exits and controlled weeping. The final exam? Successfully evacuating the cafeteria without spilling tea or dignity. SOURCE: http://bohiney.com/random/