I Was A Male Porn Actor

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What It’s Like to Be a Male Porn Star in 2019
How does working in the adult industry affect your mental health? What are your relationships like? What do you tell your kids? What lessons can be gleaned around consent? To find out, Benjy Hansen-Bundy flew down to Vegas for a glimpse inside the professional world of male porn stars—and it turns out they have a lot they can teach us.
In a hotel room in Las Vegas, a barefoot man in a red tracksuit is frantically searching through his luggage. He checks the closets and drawers without success. He disappears into the bathroom. When he comes back a few seconds later, he tells me that we have a problem. The enema is missing.
Otherwise, the set—a standard king on the sixth floor of the Trump International Tower—is pretty much ready to go. Studio lights and a digital 4K camera on a tripod face the gray couch in front of the windows. Power cords snake across the floor.
Michael Vegas, the man in the red tracksuit, is about to shoot a porno. Except no one is getting paid today: This is a trade shoot, also known as a content trade, which means that the performers organize the shoot on their own time, shoot it with their own gear, and handle their own paperwork. They get together, have sex on camera, and then publish the content on the paid streaming websites they own. No director. No studio. And the performers own the content, meaning they earn residuals, which is not the case on a regular studio shoot.
Ever since tube sites like Pornhub upended the adult industry by making Internet porn free, porn stars have found different ways to evolve and adapt. Trade shoots, I learn, are ubiquitous now. Clip sites, subscription streaming sites, and hosting platforms like ManyVids, OnlyFans, and ModelCentro allow performers to directly monetize their homemade content, albeit while taking a cut anywhere from 20 to 40 percent. In addition to restructuring the adult economy, these new platforms have also drawn in a whole new generation of performers. Given that he regularly shoots with the major studios and also has his own personal website (hosted by ModelCentro), Vegas is something of a bridge between the old porn industry and the new one.
"Guys in porn don’t just end up here," Michael Vegas says. "It’s really hard to get here. It’s a group of dudes that run porn that are judging on whether or not you can come have sex with their friends and colleagues. Because they’re also betting their money on your ability to do it. So if you can get somebody to give you a chance to prove you can do it, that’s how you break the barrier."
While we wait for his co-star, Vegas gives me his backstory, pausing first to take a dab. A mop of curly blond hair falls forward as he leans over to inhale vaporized THC wax.
Vegas comes from a loving middle-class family. His parents, he says, are open-minded, the type to hold down demanding jobs but also make time for Burning Man every year. His first career was as a fireman. He was married and he’d just finished his fire training, and everything seemed to be working out. Then he was in a motorcycle accident, and he broke his neck and his back and spent ten days in a coma.
After that, firefighting was impossible. His marriage fell apart. And he moved in with his parents.
“I’m like a broken person,” Vegas says, looking back. “I wore a neck brace for six months. So I had to come up with a different career, something that would be fulfilling to me. I’m not a desk-job type person if you might have noticed.”
He started smoking weed, in part because he was allergic to most opioids. The weed lessened the lingering neck pain, but it also cracked open this emotional life that Vegas had been suppressing.
“I felt like I was reborn as a person,” he says. “It’s like I’m feeling every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my entire life. So overwhelming. It makes me burst into tears. And I want to spread that feeling to everybody. I want everybody to understand what real unconditional love and compassion from another human being is.”
When he looks up at me, he has this light in his eyes, both delighted and conspiratorial, like the look a friend would give you 30 minutes after you’ve both taken LSD and the patterns on the carpet start turning into fractals.
Then he says, “So I was like, ‘Fuck this, man.’ You know what I’ve always wanted to make? Movies. You know what seems attainable and like I can actually get there? Porno.”
At this point I should probably give you a trigger warning of some kind. Because this scene is graphic. Let me put it this way: Michael Vegas’s personal website is called PegHim.com. He needs the enema because he’s about to shoot an anal scene with Codi Vore. But she’s not the one who will be cleaning out her lower intestine this afternoon.
Vegas, who is straight, loves being pegged and fisted by cis women. Loves it. “So many buttholes are oppressed,” he says. “There’s so much shame surrounding all of it. I’m trying to normalize dudes taking it in the butt so people can actually talk about it. There are so many guys that want their buttholes touched or any amount of attention towards their butts. It’s their body part, they love it, and they want other people to love it, too.”
He flashes me the We Just Ate Some Acid look again.
At that moment, a woman in a matching red tracksuit comes in with a plastic bag full of drugstore enemas.
Siouxsie Q says Michael Vegas has "the strongest butthole in America."
This is Siouxsie Q, Vegas’s partner and frequent PegHim.com co-star. Vegas goes into the bathroom for at least 45 minutes of what sounds like a lot of splashing and flushing. Meanwhile, Siouxsie Q explains how the FOSTA-SESTA bills, which passed Congress last year and effectively outlaw advertising for prostitution on websites like Craigslist and Backpage, has made life much more difficult, and dangerous, for sex workers. (The ability to screen clients online added a layer of safety for sex workers who, deprived of those platforms, are often forced to find work on the street.) When she’s not filming or podcasting, Siouxsie Q advocates across the country for legislation that decriminalizes sex work. She’s looking forward to what she calls the Whore Singularity, which is when everyone, especially the politicians, has their nudes online and it’s no longer a big deal.
Until then, sex work remains dangerous—especially if you’re a person of color or are gender non-conforming—and socially taboo. “The minute you have sex on camera,” she says, “you become a second-class citizen.”
Vegas comes out of the bathroom and photographs Siouxsie Q for some promotional work they’re doing. Codi Vore, a self-identified prepper who drives a diesel truck and is hoping to start a sex-worker commune in the desert, arrives. She and Vegas sign paperwork on his tablet: a 2257 age-verification form, and then a model release form. They provide each other with the clean results of an STD test that’s less than two weeks old. More dabs are taken. Weed gummies are ingested. And then they discuss the two scenes they’ll be shooting.
The first is for Vore’s website. It’s a brother-sister incest scene with a relatively expedient preamble and about 25 minutes of mostly vanilla sex. Vegas is careful to go over Vore’s list of dos and don’ts before they start. Vore requests that at the end of the scene Vegas come on her face. He acquiesces.
They shoot, shower, and return for Vegas’s scene. Vore dons a massive flesh-colored strap-on. It is the size of my forearm. Vegas shoots stills of her for the thumbnails on his website. Then Siouxsie Q takes the 4K digital camera off the tripod and films.
I will refrain from describing in detail what transpires next, other than to say that Vegas’s face looks, at times, something like the visage in Caravaggio’s Mary Magdalen in Ecstasy. And that when Vore withdraws the strap-on completely and I glimpse, briefly, what is known in the industry as the “gape,” it is like looking into the pulsing center of the universe.
Later that night, exhausted and dehydrated, I wonder where Vegas gets the courage to be that vulnerable. To surrender so completely. And I think back to something he said to me on the phone before I arrived in Nevada.
“So many people just assume, ‘Oh, everybody in porn is there because they can’t do anything else,’ ” he said. “It’s like, ‘No, I was doing everything I wanted to.’ When I came back from being dead, it was like this veil was lifted on the world and I just saw so much bullshit. People were unhappy and creating their own unhappiness. I just needed to do the thing I secretly had this desire to fulfill."
“Everybody’s just doing their best, man.”
I came to Las Vegas to find out what it’s like to be a male porn star today. A lot of the coverage of the industry concerns male viewers of pornography, especially boys—whether they’re addicted, if porn is ruining their intimate lives, teaching them the wrong things about sex, or giving them erectile dysfunction.
But I was curious about male performers: what their lives are like, whether they find their work fulfilling, how they structure their personal relationships and families, how making porn impacts their mental health. What’s it like to shoot three or four scenes in a day? What’s it like to take Viagra for work? What’s it like to inject your penis with Caverject, a vasodilator that opens blood vessels, which some performers use to stay hard?
"I like it a little that the curtain is being pulled back on Hollywood," Tommy Pistol says. "Everyone’s looking in like, 'Oh, you’re a bunch of sick fucks.' I guarantee you nobody in our industry adopted a child, raised them, and then married them. There’s no wranglers on our sets that have to keep actors and directors under control from touching people."
It’s not that male porn stars have never breached the mainstream consciousness. James Deen was profiled in the pages of this magazine, and a few years after that, Paul Schrader gave him the lead opposite Lindsay Lohan in The Canyons. At the time, the world of pop culture seemed eager to view him as a Normal Star, and then allegations of sexual abuse made by his colleagues began to surface, most notably from his former girlfriend Stoya. When they did, we got a glimpse into porn’s dark side, at how alleged predatory behavior can be covered up and enabled if the individual in question is powerful enough. As of today, Deen is still working.
In the porn industry, unlike in the rest of the American economy, male workers are typically paid less. (At least, that’s the case in cis hetero porn, which I’ll focus on in this piece because that’s the kind of porn I usually watch.) Traditionally, as many of the older generation of male performers in their late 30s and 40s will tell me, a porno film is not about the guy. He’s secondary to the female performer. Derrick Pierce, who’s been in porn for more than a decade, put it this way: The women are the quarterbacks and running backs of porn, and the men are the offensive linemen. In most cases, she’s the one the audience came to see.
The Hard Rock Hotel hosts the Adult Video News Expo (porn’s premier convention) and the AVN Awards (basically the porn Oscars) in late January, and I figured I could get a critical mass of male perspectives in one dry, sunny location.
One of the guys I meet is Tommy Pistol. He has kids, two boys. He’s been starring in porno films for fourteen years and is known for his parodies, like Pee-Wee’s XXX Adventure. He’s 42, and his kids are still young, not quite at the age where he’s ready to tell them what he does for a living.
“I know I’m gonna have to have this conversation,” he says. “I know it’s coming up. The best advice I got from people who have kids in this industry is to let them know before somebody tells them at school. Let them have the ammunition to deal with it. I’m gonna be honest with them: ‘This is what I do. This is what provides. It’s also kind of our secret right now. You don’t need to tell anybody, because other people don’t understand. Other parents might freak out. And that sucks, but that’s just how people are.’ ”
As far as mainstream crossover success for male porn stars is concerned, Pistol is about as close as possible. He’s in SAG-AFTRA. He made a grindhouse horror movie called The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol.
But he’s scared of what will happen when his kids find out about his career and have to live with that knowledge. “It scares the shit out of me. Whatever vindictive bullshit they might get from people, it would kind of be my fault. And that hurts me. Kids are fuckin’ mean. It doesn’t matter if I still had my union job and I dealt with trash for a living, I’m sure somebody would still talk shit.”
Lance Hart: "If you’re in Manhattan, you can make $10k in a weekend, escorting. If you’re willing to work your butt off. You also have to be very confident that you can get hard. Generally, the going rate for a non–porn star is like $300 an hour. I can get a higher rate because I have a following and I’m a porn star. But $600—is it really worth the stress of showing up at a hotel room—what’s on the other side of this door? What if he doesn’t want to let me leave and he’s gonna get physical? It’s happened to a couple of my friends. It’s scary. But I have an ad up. And once in a blue moon, some celebrity will hit me up and be like, 'I really just want to get dinner with you and can you like jerk me off afterward?' And I’m like, okay."
The kids thing is a dilemma. Porn stars handle it a variety of ways. Some people in the industry try to make sure that they’re behind the camera, producing and directing, by the time their kids reach smartphone age. Others, like Lance Hart—who produces and performs in straight, gay, and bisexual porn—have decided against raising a family. The longer a performer sticks around, the more complicated their relationship to their porn career inevitably becomes: Traditional markers of success like owning homes and starting families come into conflict with the stigma of their chosen career path. Among the newcomers I speak with, however, the mood is more buoyant.
Johnny Stone, 21, is planning his career around one optimistic premise: That the adult industry will normalize in the next ten years, and there will be more opportunities to cross over. He points to the fact that Cardi B is playing the AVN Awards on Saturday—she used to strip, remember? (Other recent crossover moments include Lil Wayne performing at last year’s AVNs and Kanye West as the creative director for the 2018 Pornhub Awards.)
Stone’s approach to the adult industry is unlike everyone else’s I meet over the weekend. I find him at the Chaturbate booth on the Expo floor. Chaturbate, for the unfamiliar, is a webcam site where fans can interact in real time with their favorite performers and compensate them as things heat up. Stone applies the antics of the goofy YouTube prankster—jumping on tables in crowded areas and dancing “real sexy”—to a platform that is otherwise mostly limited to performers masturbating on camera.
He gets booked on occasion for studio porn shoots, but he doesn’t have an agent. “Most men who get into the industry get agents, and they get way undercut,” he explains to me at Hard Rock’s Circle Bar. “They get underpaid. They get taken advantage of. And they’re just meat sticks. I know my worth, and I went in knowing that.”
Stone has a point. In an earlier era, the male porn star was mostly anonymous. When Susan Faludi wrote about male performers 25 years ago for The New Yorker, the salient image was of the long hallway outside an audition filled with nobodies who would never make it. When Lexington Steele first got into porn back in the late ’90s, he decided to move to L.A. and try it out for a year. If he didn’t like it, he told me over the phone, he wasn’t worried about moving back to New York and returning to his job as a bond salesman on Wall Street. There was simply no way that anyone would find out—and even if they did, his bosses wouldn’t care. They hired anyone who could sell bonds (his client interaction was over the phone, not in person), and name-brand Male Porn Stars weren’t really a thing at the time. There was Ron Jeremy (who has also been accused of sexual misconduct) and Peter North, of course, but that was pretty much it.
"A lot of my fanbase is gay guys," Johnny Stone says. "But I have paved the way for female fans in the porn industry. That was one of the markets that people didn’t see: Directing porn towards women. Women like porn and sex just as much as men. Women are a lot more mental when it comes to sexuality, and all you gotta do is play on that. So I made videos directed towards a female audience. Jerk-off instructions for girls. I capitalize on that."
Now, though, the most important thing for Stone is to control his image and his brand. “One of the things that makes it so easy to do what I do is that I get to be myself. I don’t have to put on a mask. That’s what makes me good at being a model online. I’m just being myself all the time,” he says. “When I was debating starting camming, I was worried about the image that it would present, how people would perceive me. But the direction that society is moving, we’re opening up a lot more to sexuality and fluidity. By the time I’m getting the recognition I’m after, it’ll be more of an empowerment thing than something that people would discourage.”
To that end—getting famous on a sex-positive Internet—Stone is also developing non-nude content. He’s got a Twitch account. He’s got a YouTube channel and a paid Snapchat account, too, but he hasn’t fully launched on those platforms yet. Stone, in other words, is like any ambitious young person trying to make it in the brave new ecosystem of personal branding and self-production. The only difference is he’s willing to bring the viewer all the way into his bedroom. Which, to him, doesn’t seem like that big a deal.
“I want to see the industry given the respect and the credit that it deserves,” he says. “It’s an entertainment industry and a really big one at that. And everybody tucks it under the rug. I think we do deserve our spotlight and our recognition. It could go a long way in proving to people that sex work is a real career, a real job. It’s a real demand that people need to supply.”
Since Ricky Johnson, 27, started doing porn, he’s had three major relationships. In the first one, his girlfriend wasn’t in the industry.
“She didn’t handle it well,” he says. We’re in his hotel room at the Hard Rock. It’s the day of the AVN Awards, and Johnson is up for Best Supporting Actor and Male Performer of the Year.
“At the time I didn’t understand, because I would just go to work and it would just be work, you know? I took it as: I’m having sex with a girl, getting my paycheck, and going home. But for her, I’m fucking other people
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