I Want To Be My Wife

I Want To Be My Wife




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I Want To Be My Wife

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Ask Stoya: I want my wife to dominate me






By



Stoya







Apr 16, 2016, 11:54am EDT
















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The internet and technology have totally changed sex and relationships, we know you — you adults, anyway, this column is not for children ! — have questions about the world of sex. In order to answer them, we've asked our friend Stoya — a professional sex-haver — to field any inquiries. You can write to her at askstoya@theverge.com and we may publish your letter.
I am from India. I am married. Recently I discovered chastity cages and role-play games where a woman is the dominating mistress and a man is her slave.
I desperately want to try this and want my wife to control me, order me around, treat me like her slave, and forcefully make me wear the chastity cage.
I am hesitating to introduce all this to her as I fear the following could happen:
1) She gets scared by the idea of dominating me, putting me in chastity cage, or punishing me.
2) She likes the idea very much — and then always wants to control me.
What is your advice? Should I introduce femdom and chastity to her?
Talking about sexual desire is hard, and sharing a new desire with someone you’re already in a relationship with can be scary. The stakes are higher because there’s a very real risk of damaging your relationship or losing it entirely.
But there are also some really good potential reactions. Your wife might be turned on by your desires. Or she might feel neutrally about them herself — but find something erotic or fulfilling in doing something that brings you sexual pleasure. You may also discover that your wife might also have desires she’s afraid to discuss with you, because she has the same concerns you have. And her desires might turn you on, or be things you enjoy participating in for the sake of her pleasure.
You have to decide if the risk is worth it You have to decide whether the risk is worth it, but I can give you some advice on how to proceed gently and with caution.
Avoid surprising your wife or overwhelming her. You want to figure out where she’s coming from, and about how much new sex stuff she can process at one time. You’ve already got some information about your wife’s sexual experience, knowledge, and tastes. Even if all you have to work with is your sexual interactions with her, that’s still useful.
What positions do you usually have sex in? If you’re always in missionary with the lights off and don’t do much other than genital penetration, you probably want to start by talking about whether she might want to try a different position, one where she has more control. Don’t jump right to, say, asking her if she’s ever thought about giving a spanking to a man with a feather duster strapped to his buttcrack.
How vocal is your wife during sex? If she talks, something she’s said in the past might be a good starting place. Have you ever seen her read an erotic novel or watch a show with any overt sexual moments in it? If so, asking about her favorite part is another good way to start talking about sexuality as a
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