I Regret Doing Porn
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I Regret Doing Porn
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When you've done hardcore porn, it's really hard to go back.
Samantha Bentley , 26, is an award-winning porn actress based in the U.K. She's also had roles in Game of Thrones for the past two seasons, most recently as the prostitute who famously wore an assless dress on the show. Here's how she landed the roles and her plans for phasing out of porn by the time she's 30.
I started glamour modeling when I was 18 or 19 years old and did some Page 3 [the Sun newspaper's daily topless feature] and lads' mags over here in the U.K. I had a Model Mayhem account and a photographer messaged me on there and wanted to shoot me for [U.K. adult magazine] Mayfair . Then I got messaged by an agency in Budapest who said, "Do you want to come out and do a couple shoots?" I never considered it porn. Then I did a few shoots with girls, and it still never occurred to me that I was doing porn because I was just doing girl-girl.
It was my best friend who finally said, "You know you're doing porn, right?" And I was like, "No, I'm not!" I never thought anything of it until I Googled myself one day and it came up on a website as "porn starlet Samantha Bentley." The real first big job I did when I realized I was doing porn was for a company called Harmony Films. I shot an all girl threesome with AVN 's performer of the year. It was my first big-budget feature porn movie. That was in 2012.
The scene I did for Harmony won best girl-girl scene at the AVN awards. So Harmony said, "We'd like to offer you a contract to do your first boy-girl." And I was thinking, Well, I know I have a fan base so I know I can sell this to anyone I want right now. I said, "Obviously you guys have kick-started my career and I do want to do it for you, but there are other people who want it, so what are you offering me?" I knew that now I wanted to make a career. So I said, "I'll give you my first boy-girl, my first anal, my first DP [double penetration], and I'll do it over the course of a year and I want my own feature film." Also, I didn't want to be put with any random people. They agreed to all of that.
I was terrified [at my first boy-girl shoot.] We went away for the week to a castle in Scotland. I'd chosen the guy, Ian Tate, because I'd met him before and I got on well with him, and he'd been in the industry a long time. I wanted to work with somebody who knew what they were doing because I had no idea. When we shot it, we were on set with 50 people and everyone was watching and the pressure was so real. I remember Ian and the director saying to me afterward, "Well, if that's your first scene, you're not going to have a problem handling anything this industry throws at you." It was the turning point. When you've done hardcore porn, you can't go back. It's going to be everywhere and everyone's going to know you've done it.
Everyone [in my life] knows [what I do]. It took me a while to tell my family just because I felt protective of them. It's a hard thing to tell your parents. My mom found out because I came home with my AVN award and she said, "I know what that award is." Then she cried. I said, "I'm happy, I'm making money, I'm not doing anything stupid, I'm safe." My dad was different. He just said, "You're my daughter. Of course I know what you're doing. If you're happy, I'll support you and I don't want to know the details, but I will support whatever you think is right." My dad's my hero.
When I first started, there was a lot of concern. My friends asked, "Are you OK? Has something happened? Why are you doing this? Are you being forced into this? Are you happy?" I think that's what people's initial concern with porn is: You're doing it because you're stuck or you really need money or something's happened to you in your life. For me, it was a career. It went from zero to a hundred very quickly.
[Getting cast in Game of Thrones ] was so weird. I got a call saying, " Game of Thrones wants you to read for this scene for season four." My friend had to film me in the buff reading the lines for the scene and we had to email the video to the casting directors. I only had one line. I didn't hear anything for weeks and weeks. Then I got a call after I'd just landed in Barcelona [to shoot porn scenes] and they said, " Game of Thrones needs you the day after tomorrow to be in Ireland." I was booked to do four [porn] scenes over two days in Barcelona, so I said to the porn company, "We have to shoot everything tomorrow, then I'm leaving." They were pissed off with me, but they actually made a whole big thing about me being in Game of Thrones when they released the scenes, so it benefitted them.
The Game of Thrones set was just insane. It makes me have a stupid grin when I think about it. In that scene, there were 50 girls as extras and between every take, they had people go around and make sure every single hair was in place even if they were out of focus in the background. And a closed set was 100 people. I remember getting to set and seeing my name on a trailer and being like, Whoa. I have a trailer .
When I'd been on set, I'd asked them if there was any chance of me returning and they said, "You had quite a lot of face time. We can't really bring you back unless we go back to the same bathhouse [where the scene was shot]." Then I got an email last summer and it said, "Samantha, we'd really like to have you for season five," and I just burst into tears. I was sitting there sobbing over my breakfast. I was living in Budapest at the time and they said, "We have to fly you into Ireland to do a fitting of your costume." I remember they picked me up from the airport and took me to the Game of Thrones offices and gave me some lunch and took me to the costume designer. She showed me the [assless dress] drawings, and I was like, "Is that me?" The scene actually turned out to be really iconic in the series. Everyone's been like, "Oh my god, that was you? You're Daenerys with her ass out?"
I was really excited to shoot a scene with Tyrion. Shooting it was kind of nerve-racking because there were so many people in that scene. Obviously I've done porn, but on porn sets everyone's naked. On the Game of Thrones set, I'm walking around with my ass out and everyone's eyes are on me. The pressure! But this season I did feel like a little part of it because I'd been there before and people knew me from last season.
Caps from tonight's episode of Game Of Thrones! Thank you @kogafoto pic.twitter.com/LLd9J69bKb
Last summer, I started thinking that I didn't really want to do boy-girl [porn] anymore just because it is quite relentless. Shooting every day is hard on your body and on your mind as well. But I wasn't really in any sort of position to stop because I was so in demand. Then I met someone who I started seeing. He said he'd always support whatever I wanted to do. And I started putting feelers out to do other things, and it just so happened that it all sort of came around the time Game of Thrones was coming out. It was a perfect opportunity for me to stretch out and start doing other things. So I started deejaying at some clubs and I wanted to start writing about porn, and giving sex advice, because I do get asked a lot about sex.
Eventually I want to [transition out of shooting porn.] And I want to do it before I'm 30. So I'm making the movements at the moment. I still shoot a lot, but not a lot of boy-girl. I'm shooting more girl-girl and solo. I'm doing quite a lot of magazine work as well and I'm about to start directing. I just bought a house. I'm probably the happiest I've ever been. I've worked ridiculously hard and I feel like everything I've worked for has sort of been worth it. I don't really have any regrets at all. I think I've done it right.
"Sex Work" is a weekly series that profiles women who have careers in sex-related industries — from porn stars to sex researchers and everyone in between. Check back every Tuesday for the latest interview.
Cheryl Wischhover writes about beauty, health, fitness and fashion. Follow her on Twitter .
Women who regret working in the porn industry, why did you enter it and why did you leave?
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If you are not a woman who regrets working in the porn industry, do not leave a top level reply
Do not derail, argue, attempt to invalidate, pass judgment on, or otherwise use other people's responses to this question as the jumping off point for your soapbox. No one cares whether you love or hate the porn industry, and it isn't relevant to this question.
I was in porn for 5 years. From ages 18-23 it was my full time job, but before then it was something I very illegally took part in. I started because I guess it was already my job- I had always used my looks and what people wanted to get what I want. I was in a place mentally where my confidence was low, but my ego was high.
I did enjoy it at times, but my life was truly empty. I felt dead inside, something I now know was depression. I couldn’t trust anyone, I thought the only thing I was good for was sex and being an object. People could (and did) abuse me because it was so normal I would just take it. I was raped multiple times by big names in the industry on camera. The videos were sold and are still online, despite my protests throughout filming.
Anyway, it got worse and I finally decided that anything would be better, so three years later I’m training to be a nurse and working with learning disabilities- I couldn’t be happier!!
I’m sorry you had to endure that, and glad your life took a better turn and you’re happy now.
where my confidence was low, but my ego was high.
Amazing how these things can different and true. I've never thought about it like that
The porn industry is male dominated and a place where men can legally get away with raping and brutally abusing women. If you say stop they laugh at you. Because if you tap out you don’t get paid. It’s either endure the abuse and make $1500 or tap out and have endured what you already have with a complete loss. Men make money in porn... women make some money but take a huge loss in dignity and rights. I can’t wait for the day that women run the porn industry.
I'm sorry you were raped and no one listened to you
You sound amazing. I am so proud of you. Thank you.
I got goosebumps reading this as I can't even... I don't know how to even put it in words that I even cried while typing this. That thought of having a video of me being violated like that and no matter what, at whatever age I was in. Even at advance age, the feeling of having those videos still online and guys watching it is so damn awful.
I hope you become successful in your new endeavor in life. Sending you my love and strength. I hope you meet and make friends with a lot of beautiful people inside out.
I wonder if you could sue them? They shouldn't be allowed to do that to you. If you haven't already, maybe look into if it's possible, and see if you have any screenshots or emails or proof you were taken advantage of. I hate that that happened to you. I am SO happy to hear that now you couldn't be happier!
Congratulations on your inspiring turn around! Your resiliency is amazing!
Good for you. Main stream porn is fake bullshit and sucks anyway. It's toxic for youth who are too stupid to realize it's not reality.
Honestly I feel like you could write a book about your experiences and really open peoples eyes to the industry.. you are so strong!
If you wrote a book I would totally read it
sorry you had to go through that but im glad your doing better
So happy that you are recovering from this experience and doing what you love. I wish you the best!!
Sending so much love and support to you girl, we’re all so glad you managed to get out of that situation and create anew for yourself. <33
Man that sucks. I wish you a very happy life from now
This makes me seriously concerned about pornography that has the woman repeatedly saying “please no” ....like... are they doing this against their will or is it part of a skit? I’m concerned now...
Girls who have done amateur porn and now regret it, what's your story?
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I'm curious after reading about the recent Miss Teen Delaware scandal.
Her ability to answer questions eloquently is just what I'd expect from a pageant girl.
I feel like businesses in bigger, more liberal cities don't care as much if they come across things like this while considering you for a position. If you have any problems I suggest moving to a city like SF or LA and it shouldn't be as much as an issue. I wouldn't put it on your resume though...
How much money do you make? Do you have to go to a studio or something, or do you get to work from your own room?
... I'm just gonna save this post here...
Well, they told me I was too ugly, so I had to clean the set for minimum wage
to the girls that have done it http://imgur.com/gallery/5ChWA
Man, look at all that cultivated mass!
The only regrets I feel are that my pictures could look nicer. It makes me want to do it again so I can represent myself better/work out more.
Yeah, I'm a dude and I regret getting my dick waxed by a hot bitch all day. They even made me cum on her face while she beat me off, it was terrible.
Please post links with your stories
I had to edit this response because it's no longer relevant. Now I'll just duck behind a bush and wait for this to get good
I gotta ask, why? I don't want details, that's gross. Money?
Dudes don't regret it. Therefore this would be pointless to include them.
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