I Love Dating Single Moms

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Dating A Single Mom: 9 Tips for Success
Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved
Jennifer Wolf is a PCI Certified Parent Coach and a strong advocate for single moms and dads.
Medically reviewed by Carly Snyder, MD on February 01, 2020
Carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments.
If you're in the dating game, single moms will likely be in the mix. In fact, according to a Pew Research Center study, the U.S. has the world's highest rate of children living in single-parent households, specifically those run by single moms.
Single moms are smart, strong, and beautiful, and they also have unique perspectives, priorities, and life experiences that need to be considered. Here's what you need to know before dating a single mom—and how to take your relationship to the next level without getting overly involved too soon.
When dating a single mom, it's important that you adjust your expectations. In other relationships, you may have been able to gauge a woman’s feelings for you by how much time and energy she put into your relationship.
When you’re dating a single mom, this isn’t necessarily the case. She may not have the time to see you as often as you'd both like. A mom's time is limited, and much of her energy goes toward taking care of her kids. You'll need to look for other expressions of her feelings for you.
Another difference is that many single moms are much more clear about what they want in life, and that can eliminate a lot of mystery and become an attractive quality in a relationship.
For a single mom, her kids likely come first. It's important to understand and accept this fact. A mom's devotion to her children is admirable and embracing this can help enrich the relationship and prevent you from becoming jealous, which will only harm your relationship.
Don’t try to be too much too soon to either your girlfriend or her children. If you’re not sure about how involved you want to be with the kids, be open and honest about that. At the same time, it’s important that you don’t begin to take on a role that you can’t maintain for the long haul.
It’s important to give your relationship time to develop. Don’t rush into becoming a "father figure," moving in together, or getting engaged. Instead, take it slow and focus on developing trust before you take your relationship to the next level.
Are you looking to hook-up or interested in a long-term girlfriend? Is marriage a possibility? Do you see yourself co-raising kids? Most single moms want to know what type of commitment you're looking for from them, and how much you're willing to commit in return. Whatever the case, it's best to be honest and upfront as you start dating.
As a single mom, there is a tremendous amount of pressure to provide for your children financially and emotionally. Be the kind of partner who can listen without trying to solve every problem for her. She will work it out in time. Offering support and encouragement will help you build a stronger bond.
As a single mother, your girlfriend may have experienced situations previously where she depended on someone who was not trustworthy. Set yourself apart by being someone she can trust. Be responsible to her without being responsible for her.
Single moms have a lot of responsibilities. Between working and caring for their children, they have limited availability, which can sometimes make it hard to schedule (and keep) dates. If a sitter cancels at the last-minute or a child gets sick, they may run late or need to cancel. Being a single mom also makes it hard to go on a spontaneous date, since childcare is always a top priority.
If you decide to date a single mom, you will need to be willing to be flexible and temper your disappointment.
If she has introduced you to her kids, it means that she's serious about your relationship. Still, unless she specifically asks for your support, disciplining her kids will likely remain off-limits.
When you’re dating a single mom, let her handle 100% of the kids’ discipline. If you have concerns about the kids’ behavior, talk with your girlfriend about it privately. Never attempt to handle the issue yourself without discussing it with them first.
If you have significant concerns about their approach to discipline, autonomy, or family dynamics, the relationship might not be the best fit for you, especially if you hope to one day get married or have children of their own.
It's easy to come in from the outside and judge another person's parenting choices, but this behavior will not be welcomed or healthy for your relationship. Instead, do your best to acknowledge that being a single parent is very difficult and do your best to view her choices and lifestyle from a place of helpfulness, compassion, restraint, and curiosity.
You’re the only one who can know whether dating a single mom is right for you. Don’t get caught up in listening to family members or friends who will try to discourage you or suggest that she’s just looking for a stepparent figure. This is rarely the case. A single mom is so much more than just a mom, she is an adult with personal needs of her own. Pay attention to the woman you know and the relationship you’re building together.
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Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved
Verywell Mind is part of the Dotdash publishing family.

Dating as a single mom is challenging. Whether you feel guilty for wanting to have some alone time, can’t seem to connect with anyone, can’t find the time, or simply fear heartbreak, these things are all hindering your dating life. As a single mom, I have some insights into what I’ve learned that I would love to share with my single sisters!
Putting your love life on the back burner is something most single moms tend to do. Your kids are your priority, your everything, and sometimes they are even your best friends. But having a loving partner in your life is important. It’s beneficial to your wellbeing and you should never feel guilty for wanting a romantic companion. When your children are young, you tend to focus on what’s best for them – as you should but this doesn’t change the fact that you may need to set aside some time to fall in love again.
I’ve learned that most childless men aren’t against dating single moms. Being a single mother doesn’t mean you’re tainted and never to be touched again. Let’s repeat that one more time with feeling: being a single mom does NOT mean you’re tainted and never to be touched again. Having children doesn’t mean you’re a burden.
In fact, many men find moms to be much more grounded, goal oriented and beautiful. Seriously, they don’t think twice about dating a single mom with a runny-nosed toddler! There are men who understand your children’s needs will respect you for being so focused and hardworking. There are men who will respect you for being a single mom dating. It takes a strong, confident man to date a single mom. So keep your heart open and remember that when you find the RIGHT one, being a mom will only make the relationship sweeter!
Chances are you haven’t been out on a date in a long time. Many single moms feel like they’ve forgotten how to date. Some of us got married young and never really had much of a dating life before marriage. Remember that old saying about riding a bicycle? It’s the same for riding…well you get the idea.
Who doesn’t love dressing up, putting on heels, and enjoying a night out on the town? Dating is fun and it’s healthy to interact with people other than your little ones. If your date doesn’t turn out amazing, even if it goes terribly wrong, at least you had a pleasant time and good conversation with someone other than your toddler.
Single moms love to go out on dates just as much as the next girl. Some men might not know how to date a single mom because there are other factors involved – like what time you need to be home and what days you are available. Don’t be afraid that you’re asking too much by being home before midnight so you can relieve the sitter. Speak up girl!
If you and your date are scrambling for some fun date ideas try taking a cooking class together, going for the classic dinner and a movie, a quick coffee run and walk in the park, or even go grocery shopping together. Sometimes you won’t have time for a luxurious night on the town, but grocery shopping can be romantic, too!
As a mom, we know how precious our time with our kids is. We cherish it, we hold it tight in our hands, and we never want to let it go. Some of the best memories of your entire life will be those spent with your children.
I’ve learned that when you’re a single parent, time is even more valuable. That’s because you have less of it. You have less time for your daily responsibilities, for quality time with your children, for nights out with the girls, and for your own self care. I’ve learned you should never waste your time. If you are a single mom and you’re in a dead-end relationship, get out! Your time should be treasured. You don’t have time to waste on less than perfect partners. Now this doesn’t mean to swipe left on everyone, or avoid casual hookups, but it does mean that you should actively work to protect your time!
Falling in love as a single mom requires effort from you and from the man you are building a relationship with. A man falling in love with a single mom needs to understand a few things:
This can seem like a lot for a childless man (or even another single parent) to take in, but if he really loves you, these things will fall into place. Remember that relationships take work – whether it’s with a lover, a friend, or your kids, but some things are worth fighting for. 
A mom is like a mama bear protecting her cubs – as it should be. As a single mom, you’re more than justified to keep your children safe from forming an attachment to a man who won’t be around for long. Before you introduce your new boo to your little ones, make sure the relationship is exclusive and progressing. Don’t waste your time, or your children’s, on someone who they aren’t going to see again. Trust your gut, and don’t let anyone pressure you into bringing your relationship home. You should only take the next step when you truly believe you and your partner are ready.
Now’s the time to discuss some uncomfortable stuff. There’s a whole subset of men who chase “milfs” (it’s an acronym… look it up) and only want to be dating single moms. While we’re not saying to avoid them altogether (they can be fun for a bit!), you shouldn’t introduce these kind of guys to your children. Trust your gut, add in a dash of common sense, and you’re good to go!
Depending on the age of your kids and how long you have been separated from their father, most children are okay with their mom dating. If you have really young children, this might not be an issue at all. Preteens and teenagers will want you to be happy, as long as they’ve had time to process your separation. Every child wants to see their mom happy, loved, and taken care of.
If you’re just waiting for Prince Charming to sweep you off your feet, don’t! Go out with your girls, create a dating profile, put yourself out there. There are men who will gladly pick you up and hit on you, or at least attempt to. Be yourself, be confident, and be open about your children.
By the way, if a guy says to you, “you’re hot for a mom,” this isn’t a compliment! You’re beautiful anyway, mama!
Most importantly, dating as a single mom is nothing to be ashamed of. Single moms are powerful, strong, and confident. Go out, date, and fall in love again. You deserve it!
If you need more dating advice for single moms, Ask Ali.
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