I Kissed His Wife

I Kissed His Wife




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Christian author Joshua Harris announced Wednesday that he and his wife, Shannon, are separating.
The former courtship advocate shared with his Instagram followers that the two will continue their lives together as friends.
"In recent years, some significant changes have taken place in both of us," he says. "It is with sincere love for one another and understanding of our unique story as a couple that we are moving forward with this decision."
Harris rose to prominence in conservative Christian circles when he wrote his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye in 1997 and, three years later, Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship. In the books, he encouraged Christians to avoid the dating scene and instead pursue a group- and family-oriented approach he called courtship.
Last year, he wrote an official statement apologizing for the books, saying he spent two years talking to people who said the books greatly hurt them.
Now, as Harris and his wife are separating, he says they "hope to create a generous and supportive future for each other and our three amazing children in the years ahead."
Harris ended his post by asking followers to respect the family's privacy at this time.
A post shared by Joshua Harris (@harrisjosh) on Jul 17, 2019 at 8:03pm PDT
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For several summers my wife and I overlapped vacation time with another couple, since my wife and his wife worked together for many years. After an opposing world-view discussion the night before they left, the other hubby gave my wife a kiss on the lips that was a second too long before he and his wife left the next day. And it was more his look at her that really got me pissed. I want my wife to keep the friendship with his wife, but this guy is no longer on my radar as any type of friend, to put it mildly. Even his wife looked a bit taken aback. This is his second marriage. Some may say it was just a social kiss, but the look and the entire moment were very odd. When is a kiss just a kiss? Am I off my rocker, or do I have every right to feel as I do?
You're not off your rocker. That guy sounds like a creep. No one likes a husband getting handsy with someone other than his wife. I'd be ticked off, too. And his wife should really be ticked off.
It's important to trust your gut on marital matters like these. Your honest emotions are always valid. The next step is learning how to handle those feelings, and sharing them with your partner.
Have you talked to your wife about the kiss? What does she think? How did it make her feel? You can't do much about the gross husband, but you can certainly express your feelings to your wife. You should feel comfortable sharing your thoughts with her — even the uncomfortable ones. Be open. Tell her the kiss has been bothering you.
You may find out that she's been feeling awkward about it, too. Connecting over it could make you both feel better. Or maybe she'll think you're overreacting — perhaps she didn't even notice the extra-long kiss or the look. That could be tough to hear, but if she's not taking the smooch too seriously, try to follow her lead and move on. What really counts is that she's receptive to hearing how it made you feel.
I agree that you can't forbid her to be friends with the other woman. But once your wife knows how you feel, she'll be better prepared for any discomfort you experience when they make plans. And just because the women remain friends doesn't mean you have to stay buddy-buddy with the husband. You're off the hook on that one.
As for next summer, when the question of sharing a vacation comes up ... just say you're both busy that week.
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I Kissed His Wife


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