I Hate My Mom
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Lyrics
[Verse 1]
You're gonna do
What I tell you
You live under my roof
Follow my rules
Don't speak
Unless you're spoken to
This whole room
Don't need to know you
[Chorus]
I fucking hate my mom
I hate my mom
I hate my mom
I hate my mom
[Verse 2]
It'd be better if
You wore makeup
But not too much
Like a whore they fuck
Wear more this
But don't wear that
That's too much black
Eating makes you fat
[Chorus]
I fucking hate my mom
I hate my mom
I hate my mom
I hate my mom
I hate my mom
I hate my mom
I hate my mom
I hate my mom
[Bridge]
If he bullies you
It means he likes you
You should say thank you
12-year-olds like you
Are too young to know abuse
Why can't you just fuck boys like a normal girl would?
[Chorus]
I hate my mom
I hate my mom
I hate my mom
Oh, I hate my mom (I hate my mom)
I hate my mom, I hate my mom, I hate my mom, I hate my mom (I hate my mom)
I hate my mom, I hate my mom, I hate my mom, I hate my mom (I hate my mom)
I hate my mom, I hate my mom, I hate my mom, I hate my mom (I hate my mom)
I hate my mother fucking mom
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Advice Home > Family > Why Do I Hate My Mother?
Don't Carry The Hatred You May Feel For Your Mother Around With You
Don't Carry The Hatred You May Feel For Your Mother Around With You
For Additional Help & Support With Your Concerns
Get The Support You Need From One Of Our Counselors
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger - don't use this site. These resources can provide you with immediate help.
Almost everyone has said it at one time or another, "I hate my mother," or "I cannot stand my mom." In fact, those who say this rarely mean what they say and they are usually just mad at the time. However, some people really do hate their mother, and usually have good reason.
Hatred of one's mother can begin at different stages of life. It can happen during childhood, adolescence, or adulthood. There is a common misconception that hatred of one's mother is something which always initiates during childhood. Granted, there are many cases and scenarios where people who have grown to hate their mothers began doing so when they were young children or teenagers. However, there are other situations where hatred towards mothers began in adulthood. More often, the latter cases occur due to actions or behavioral patterns. There is no one answer, but there are a plethora of variables and contributing factors.
Of course, there are those who blame their mothers for something that is not their fault. But most of the time, if the person really hates someone (especially a parent) there is a logical reason.
Sometimes it is because of abuse (physical, mental, or sexual) or because their mother left them at a young age. Whatever the reason, if you are feeling hatred for your mother, there must be an explanation.
The short answer is: yes . Your feelings are valid whether or not others agree with them. Many people believe that family is everything and that no one has the right to hate their parents. In a perfect world, this would be true, but this utopian fantasy doesn't mesh with reality.
If you feel as though you've been wronged, hurt, or mistreated by someone, it's natural to have feelings of hatred or animosity towards them. It is unfortunate that parental-child relationships can be damaged so severely, but it happens. Never be ashamed of how you feel; always be willing to acknowledge and accept the way you feel regardless of how uncomfortable it may be.
The emotions that you have are what control you and protect yourself from getting hurt in the future. Most commonly, hatred toward your mother is your mental way of shielding yourself from further despair. While you may carry some guilt surrounding this, it is natural to experience these feelings, and there is nothing wrong with you for having them. The first step to moving past these feelings is understanding them.
Do Not let It Ruin Your Own Relationships
It is important to your mental health to confront these feelings and deal with them. Harboring the hatred and allowing yourself to feel that way every time you think about your mother can affect all your relationships with others. This includes relationships with your children if you have any. This does not mean that you have to forgive your mother and build a relationship with her. It just means that you should find out why you feel this way and let it go, so you are not carrying that around with you all the time.
Many people underestimate the impact hatred towards one individual can impact their relationships with others. You see, hatred is an inherently insidious entity. It festers, grows, and manifests. Someone who harbors hatred may wind up lashing out at others who remind them of the person they despise. This is quite common, particularly amongst serial killers. Many of them have a "type" and go after individuals with specific traits or characteristics. which remind them of the person or people which they hate. Of course, this is an extreme example, but the point is that hatred does have the power to ruin your relationships- if you allow it to.
What Can You Do To Get Over These Feelings?
Not everyone will be able to overcome these feelings in the same way, but there are a few things you can try in order to move past these emotions. Keep in mind not everything will work for everyone; these are just starting points you can try.
Self-Reflect and Find the Reason for This Hatred. We have already discussed the importance of finding the root cause of your feelings towards your mom. Take the time to self-reflect, maybe even commit to journaling about your feelings, and answer some important questions.
Was it something she did? Did she hurt you? Did you feel neglected, abused, or abandoned? Has there been a misunderstanding or miscommunication? Is the issue something else? All of these questions can help kick start your discovery of the cause of these feelings.
Forgive Your Mother. Forgiving your mother is a great step toward getting over the feelings you’re experiencing. It’s important to understand that forgiving someone has no timeline. It might take a long time to truly forgive. We’re human beings with emotions, and time should take its course. And that’s ok. It’s also important to know what forgiveness is, and what it isn’t, in order to help move forward. Forgiveness is a choice, and “forgiveness” can be difficult to define, and could very well mean different things to different people, along with varying degrees of what to forgive entails. It can fall into a sort of gray area. Be sure to be in a safe space emotionally as you begin on the road toward forgiveness.
Forgiveness is as much, if not more, for the forgiver (you) as the forgiven (your mother). The releasing of the emotions surrounding her offenses that requires forgiveness allows for healing and moving forward – with or without the offending party knowing about it or offering it. In fact, even if a person lost a parent before being able to let them know they were forgiven makes no difference. Your mother’s reply toward your forgiveness should not make a difference. We really have no control over how the other person will react anyway; but we do have control over our own feelings, including the release of forgiveness.
The Negative Effects of Unforgiveness
One study reflects that while negative emotions and unforgiveness increased stress response and sweat production, forgiveness, including self-forgiveness, lowered blood pressure and relaxed facial muscles. It further states thatchronic unforgiveness may erode health whereas forgiveness may enhance it.Some risks of unforgiveness are:
Chronic Stress Response. Apart from causing severe diseases like cardiovascular issues and high blood pressure, chronic stress can even cause brain hemorrhage. Chronic stress results in continuous high levels of cortisol and other stress hormones. This can cause a retention of salt, which can increase blood pressure. Over time, this can cause stress on blood vessels, which could result in a stroke or hemorrhage.
Eating disorders. Not address the root cause and emotional pain can turn into going to food to fill the void or to mask the symptoms and pain.
Depression or Anxiety. Unforgiveness, stuffed down in the psyche, can cause negative emotions such as fear, pain, hurt, jealousy, sadness, resentment, and anger. This can, in turn, trigger symptoms of depression or anxiety.
Anger and Bitterness. Being hurt by someone, especially someone close to you like your mother, can cause anger, sadness, and confusion. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance, and hostility can take root; and if you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself drowning by your own bitterness or resentment.
Loss of Valuable Relationships. It goes without saying that many precious relationships have been torn or destroyed by one or more people because of holding on to grudges and refusing to forgive. Families are at risk to be divided, children can be negatively affected by angry and unforgiving separated parents, and lifelong friendships can be destroyed over a refusal to forgive. Risking parental alienation, whether physically or emotionally, is not worth it. In fact, maybe over time she’ll return to the close, best friend of a mother you used to have.
The Positive Effects of Self Forgiveness
Mental Health. Letting go and offering yourself self-forgiveness can help boost your feelings of wellness and improve your self-image. Practicing self-forgiveness results in experiencing lower levels of depression and anxiety, and self-compassion is associated with higher levels of success, self-esteem, productivity, focus, and concentration. Even though mental health is oftentimes improved through self-forgiveness, seeking out a therapist to find treatment might be beneficial to work through your issues. There are many different types of therapy that could help.
Physical Health. People who forgive themselves oftentimes experience more energy, better physical health, and are less likely to experience negative physical health symptoms.
Healthy Relationships. Having a compassionate and forgiving attitude toward yourself is a critical component of successful social relationships. Being able to forge close emotional bonds with other people is important, but so is the ability to repair those bonds when they become fraught or damaged. Life is too short to hold on to grudges and unforgive; and you might just find out that the other person is just as willing and wanting to forgive as well. Keep in mind that extending the olive branch is strength, not weakness.
Reduced Repeat Offenses. It’s a win-win situation. We’re not only reaching out and asking forgiveness to those we’ve offended, but through forgiving ourselves, we’re actually decreasing our chances of repeating the same offense ourselves. Self-reflection and accountability go a long way in understanding how our offenses could affect others, and therefore, through awareness, we are probably less apt to repeat our own negative behaviors.
Lifting the Burden. Carrying a heavy (or even light) burden for too long can be emotionally and physically excruciating. Drop the burden. It’s not yours to carry.
Dropping Guilt and Shame. Guilt and shame are no longer a part of you. You’ve identified what happened, took accountability, and now you’re ready to move on and leave this field of guilt and shame behind. You’re now replacing negative, defeating comments about yourself with new comments – loving and uplifting ones. The only thing looking back will do is pull you back down into guilt and shame. Guilt, shame, or any other negative and self-defeating feelings have no place in your new life!
Forgive Yourself. The same basic rules apply when forgiving yourself as with the steps to forgive others. Self-forgiveness is not about letting yourself off the hook, just like forgiving others is not letting them off the hook. The act of forgiveness, whether you are forgiving yourself or someone who has wronged you, does not suggest that you are condoning the behavior. It means that you accept the behavior, you accept what has happened, and you are willing to move past it and move on with your life without ruminating over past events that cannot be changed. The great news is that self-forgiveness can be equally healing and restorative.Allow yourself to feel free to let the burden go! Maybe you left home in your early 20s and made a decision to completely cut ties with your parents, moving in with a best friend and creating a new and different family life. And suppose your decision to leave was over a seemingly benign and innocuous reason like difference in religious belief or your take on business or world politics. And maybe now you regret the childhood family life you deserted. Forgive your mother and yourself. Look for a therapist to find treatment for yourself as you begin your journey of forgiveness. The day is coming when the feelings of hurt and anguish will begin to subside.
Should You Reconnect with Your Mother? In all honesty, reaching out to your mother to reconnect and address the way you feel may or may not be the best solution. It all depends on you, your situation, and the reasons behind your hatred. Moreover, if you are interested in reconnecting with your mom to rid yourself of hatred or resolve the issue, you should have figured out why you hate your mom beforehand.
Reconnecting with your mom before you are in a good place can open up old wounds and make a bad situation even worse than it already is. Being aware and alert is imperative if you're serious about reconnecting with your mom.
Why You Should Let It Go. Hatred can make you bitter and make you emotionally exhausted. Even if you still hate your mother, you have to figure out why, so you do not blame yourself. Getting to the bottom of an issue always proves to be helpful. If you don't let go of hatred, it will consume you and begin to seep into other areas of your life.
Unfortunately, this is something that far too many people have fallen victim to. There is a common belief that hatred is more harmful to the individual experiencing it than the individual it is directed towards. Although hatred can motivate people to act violently or otherwise lash out, at the end of the day, they still have to live with what's inside them. Essentially, holding onto hatred is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. The only way to free yourself is to let it go .
While the steps above can be helpful, many times you will need to seek help outside of yourself in order to move in and begin to heal from these feelings.
You can make an appointment with a psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist; however, if you are like most of the population, you do not have the time to drive to weekly sixty-minute meetings to talk about your mother. Fortunately, there are now alternatives to traditional appointments, such as video conferences, online meetings, phone calls, or even texting with therapists. BetterHelp is a platform that provides these services and can match you with the perfect counselor for you. If you are considering BetterHelp, but are still not sure, you can read some reviews of BetterHelp's counselors below, from people experiencing similar issues.
"Erin has been incredibly helpful to me a
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I Hate My Mom
