I Had Sex With My Mum

I Had Sex With My Mum
first cut Caught my girl in bed with another man... then he did something I didn't expect
SEX WITH SISTER I had sex with my sister and now we are having a full-on relationship
HOTEL HELL My girl's wild step-sister seduced me in toilets and I'm disgusted with myself
Little secret My brother-in-law is my daughter's real father... and my husband has no idea
DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS at home with my mother-in-law when she appeared in some incredibly sexy underwear and I could not resist. We had seriously hot sex.
She came to live with me and my wife after she broke up with her boyfriend and couldn’t afford to stay in her home.
She is 49 and I always saw her as attractive but I had never seen her in a sexual way before. I have been married for seven years. My wife is 26, I am 27 and we have a son of four.
My wife and I booked a weekend away at a theme park last year but at the last minute I had to work so she took our son on her own.
I got home early on the Saturday and heard noises from upstairs. I went up and my mother-in-law’s bedroom door was ajar.
I saw her having sex with a younger man. They did not hear me and I was so turned on that I could not stop watching.
After that I fantasised about her all the time and would sneak a peek at her in her undies or in the shower whenever possible.
Three months ago my wife took our son to visit her brother. I don’t get on with him so I stayed at home with my mother-in-law for the weekend.
We agreed to have a takeaway and a few drinks on the Friday night. I got a bit tipsy and started flirting with her.
I told her I had seen her with her younger man. It got very awkward and she went upstairs.
Ten minutes later she came back down. The door opened and she stood there in some very sexy lace underwear. She came over and started to kiss me.
I had the best sex of my life that night and we carried on all weekend. For the next week we had the hottest affair ever but then we agreed it was wrong and stopped.
I am now torn. I love my wife but we are never intimate and sex with her mother was mind-blowing.
Could we carry on without anyone getting hurt?
HAVING a bet is easier than ever online. For most of us it’s just a fun flutter, but it can be a life-wrecking addiction for a few.
If you struggle to know when to stop, my leaflet Gambling Problem? explains self-help.
DEIDRE SAYS: No, you can’t. It would be playing with fire.
If you carry on the affair sooner or later your wife is bound to find out what is going on.
She will feel betrayed by the two people she loves the most and should be able to trust the most.
The resulting hurt would not only affect the adults but it is inevitable that your son would be affected by all the tension at home and it would be very damaging for him.
Tell your wife that you miss having sex and ask her what you can do to help her regain her interest.
My e-leaflet on Reviving A Woman’s Sex Drive should give you plenty of ideas to get it back on track.
Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org . Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Amanda Holden strips to bikini in the back of a truck on holiday in Sicily
Brits to face these FOUR new UK driving laws from September
Annoying mistake everyone makes boarding planes - enraging passengers & crew
I'm a vet and these are the five neediest dog breeds - do you have one?
©News Group Newspapers Limited in England No. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. This service is provided on News Group Newspapers' Limited's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy . To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. View our online Press Pack. For other inquiries, Contact Us . To see all content on The Sun, please use the Site Map. The Sun website is regulated by the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO)
Our journalists strive for accuracy but on occasion we make mistakes. For further details of our complaints policy and to make a complaint please click this link: thesun.co.uk/editorial-complaints/

“My Mother Had Sex With My Husband”

By: Dear Wendy

May 12, 2015

Columns ,
Pop column

178 comments

Archives Archives

Select Month
August 2022
July 2022
June 2022
May 2022
April 2022
March 2022
February 2022
January 2022
December 2021
November 2021
October 2021
September 2021
August 2021
July 2021
June 2021
May 2021
April 2021
March 2021
February 2021
January 2021
December 2020
November 2020
October 2020
September 2020
August 2020
July 2020
June 2020
May 2020
April 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
December 2019
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
June 2019
May 2019
April 2019
March 2019
February 2019
January 2019
December 2018
November 2018
October 2018
September 2018
August 2018
July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
January 2011

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here . If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com .
Back in January when I was 9 months pregnant, I confided in my mother that my OB advised me not to have sex because of some pregnancy complications. A few days later, my husband’s phone went off in the middle of the night, so I reached over to silence it and saw my mother’s name. I woke up my husband and asked him to please show me the message. He unlocked his phone and deleted the message and said, “You’re being ridiculous.” I started losing my cool. I walked swiftly across the house and into my mother’s room and confronted her, asking her if she had something going on with my husband. Her tears started and she began saying, “Nothing! Why would you think such of me?” My husband came in screaming, telling me to return to our bedroom because I’d lost my mind. We talked and I calmed down. The next afternoon, my mother suggested I see a therapist and maybe ask for an antidepressant after my pregnancy because I’m paranoid and anxious.
Six weeks after my pregnancy I did just that, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there had been something more to their messages. Then during the last week in March, my mother confided in me that she had HSV-2 (genital herpes) and had had it for 10 years. She explained that her current boyfriend was accusing her of passing on the disease and was threatening to take her to court because she had kept it hidden.
That night I told my husband about the disease and we never spoke about it again, until the last week of April. I was on the way home and received a call from my husband’s best friend and his wife concerned that there had been something extremely wrong with my husband when he stopped by a few minutes earlier. I called my husband and asked if parenting a toddler and a newborn had been too much. He began to cry. A loud, horrid sob. He said: “You’re going to leave me. Today is the day you leave me and take the kids. I have something, an STD.” I asked him who he had been with besides me; he said, “You already know who!” I hung up the phone in shock and called my mother who admitted it.
Turns out my mother spent the first week in January texting my husband inappropriate messages. One night after he and I had been at a friend’s house where he got belligerently drunk, and while I was asleep, he was rummaging in the kitchen looking for more whiskey and my mother beckoned him to come to her room. He, completely out of control, followed her inside where she took off her clothes and bent over the bed. Afterwards he cleaned up and sat in bed crying. I remember waking up to his tears, asking him what was wrong, and he just whispered that he loves me so. It never happened again, he completely ignored her, and three days later I accused them. (Quick note: He and I and our newborn have been tested for HSV-2 as well as other STDs and have tested negative).
I’ve now had my mother move out and have ceased all communication with her (even though I work with her) and I’m trying to move on, but I want to stay with my husband. I’ve spent a few weeks without him, focusing on the kids but also getting needed alone time to cry, grieve, and process. I absolutely am miserable without him. I know I don’t need him–I am positive I can raise and support my children on my own–but I’m truly in love with this man. I don’t want to stay with him because of the kids, I want to stay with him because of ME. He’s always been a GREAT husband, father, and best friend, and he says he will spend an eternity apologizing and making it right. Of the few times we’ve spent together alone in the last week or so, I feel great, safe, and confident. When I’m without him and alone, I become angry and begin to just break down under myself. How do I continue this healing process without being a woman scorned and without ruining my marriage? — Betrayed By Mom and Husband
One word: therapy. Get it. Get it regardless of whether you decide to give your marriage another chance. Get it because you have been betrayed in the most hurtful way by the two people you trusted most. In the meantime, you should distance yourself even further from your mother. She’s toxic and awful and, though you may never stop loving her, I would caution against ever having a relationship with her again. Since you work together, I’d start looking for a job elsewhere. I don’t know how you can fully process, grieve, and move on from what happened if you have to see this woman on a regular basis.
Now, onto your husband. I wouldn’t be so fast to discount his responsibility here. He had sex with your mother. Being drunk isn’t an excuse. Furthermore, what was he even doing being “belligerently drunk” when his wife was 9 months pregnant and could go into labor at any minute? Or, was getting you to the hospital safely another thing he didn’t have to be responsible for?
Also, you lied to your husband. You told him your mother living with you would be for a “short time,” but she she was still with you a year and a half later. Clearly, your marriage suffered a lack of communication and respect long before your husband had sex with your mother. I’ll repeat that again: YOUR HUSBAND HAD SEX WITH YOUR MOTHER.
Does that make you angry? It should! It should enrage you. You should be filled with so much fury that the thought of sharing space, let alone emotional and physical intimacy, with this man should be one of the last things on your mind. When you say you feel great, safe, and confident in his company and angry when you’re alone, you sound desperate to aim the fury anywhere other than where it belongs: directed at the two people who betrayed you (including your husband!).
You’ve had only a few weeks to start processing this. It’s going to take a long, long time to truly wrap your head around what’s happened. In the meantime, you have two children who need your attention. Look to them for the sense of security and confidence you’re craving. Find validation in being a good mother to them. And work with a therapist on figuring out your feelings toward your husband. Don’t rush back into his arms and don’t make the mistake of sweeping this under the rug and moving forward like nothing happened because you think that’s easier and less painful and will keep your family intact.
Living in denial won’t really keep your family intact. It won’t heal you. It won’t get rid of the rage inside you that needs some place to go. That rage and the hurt and confusion and all the other stuff you’re feeling will eat away at you until you’re empty, and then not only will you have nothing left to give your marriage, but you’ll have nothing for your children either. Please don’t let that happen. Please go to therapy and deal with this ugliness bravely. Face it head-on. And don’t make any decision about whether to stay with your husband or not until you’ve worked through the stages of grief, including getting angry at him. Really, really angry. Because there is no excuse for what he did. And until you accept that he is just as responsible for having sex with your mother as she is for having sex with him, you aren’t ready to move forward. And the feeling of security and confidence you think you have when you’re with your husband, weeks after learning he screwed your mom while you were asleep in the other room, nine months pregnant with his baby, is false. And that’s not something you can even begin to rebuild trust and a relationship on.
Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram .
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com .

Unwanted_Truth
May 12, 2015, 8:11 am

Whoa…I need to really collect my thoughts before I really can have anything of substance to say….What a cluster fuck….I don’t even know…I feel sooooo bad for you all.
Unfortunately all that comes to mind is a quote from Eddie Murphy back in the day that keeps making me laugh somehow… “Now you got herpes , you carry that shit with you the rest of your life like luggage” that’s all I got…..
Drunk or not, that marriage should be over. No body, to me, no matter the love or kids, house or whatever, is worth it to me to sleep with anyone ever again that has a lifelong std, especially if it were my spouse. Nope nope and NOPE
You do realize LW did say they all tested negative for the disease, right?

Unwanted_Truth
May 12, 2015, 8:50 am

Not the husband. I read that the husband does have it, not the mother or the children.

running.unaware
May 12, 2015, 9:00 am

“(Quick note: He and I and our newborn have been tested for HSV-2 as well as other STDs and have tested negative).”
From the LW: (Quick note: He and I and our newborn have been tested for HSV-2 as well as other STDs and have tested negative).
.
So, it looks like he has been tested negative, but can’t this flare up sometime in the future? Not sure.
ktfran,
If a person has their blood taken for a PCR test, a PCR test looks for all signs/characteristics of the disease and someone can test negative. If you go into your physician and say that you came into contact with someone who as the disease but are not showing any signs, you just want to know first hand, that’s what is done. I’m assuming that is what she did for herself, her newborn, and probably had her husband do. (Or so I hope, for her sake.)
THANK! Because I really don’t know how it all works. So… the blood test will show that you’re negative for herpes and it’s official? You’re negative and don’t have to worry until you make some stupid mistake again?
Exactly, once the test is negative it’s official you won’t magically have a flare up and the disease appears unless you make the mistake again. Once you have sex with someone outside of your relationship, then that official negative is once again at risk of being a positive. These tests are done when babies are born so I truly don’t see why she had him tested. I mean maybe she didn’t know, but I would think her pediatrician would’ve have told her such.
AND for anyone who is interested you have to REQUEST for your doctor to run a PCR test! Don’t be blinded! Be sure you are tested completely with every physical!
I think he told the LW he had it without getting tested first, like he heard MIL had it so he assumed he had it too, then they all got tested.
.
He told the LW about the affair a few days after she told him her mom had herpes. There’s no way we could have gone to the Doc and received the results that fast.

Unwanted_Truth
May 12, 2015, 9:12 am

Ok yea, I went back and re-read. I agree with you 100%. Plus even though he tests Negative now, std’s like that, and HPV, may not even show up for months or years. It wouldn’t show up that fast like you said. Regardless there is no way in hell that person would be sleeping with me again.
Yeah, that’s my understanding of some (most?) std’s. They don’t necessarily materialize of test positively immediately, so he still could be carrying something.
.
And totally agree that this entire situation is fucked up and just plain icky.

mrmidtwenties
May 12, 2015, 9:29 am

That was my understanding, and there are many false positives and negatives for herpes as well.
PCR tests are when your blood is specifically tested for the characteristics and all variables of the disease, so NO, so long as she had one done it won’t be a false negative/positive. I’m assuming a PCR test was done because that’s the only test that can be administered to detect the disease if you aren’t physically showing signs.

Unwanted_Truth
May 12, 2015, 9:44 am

I’m kind of going off course here, but since you seem to know much about this….. I am actually scheduled for a physical this week and wanted to have a full on screening for any and all std’s just for piece of mind, should I mention this “PCR” test also? I assume they will know what I am talking about, I have never heard of it.
Absolutely. They may even ask what specific disease you want to be tested for. It’s as simple as them putting in a Lab Req with the additional test code.
–
I wanted to add that when I state “visual” signs of herpes, you can be tested by having the sores, bumps, blisters or whatever you see, swabbed. The bacteria is then tested. So ktfran, that is one way you can be tested for the disease and it come back as a false negative/positive.

Adrienne Curry Nude
Nude Lauren Cohan
Molly Jane Freeones

I Had Sex With My Mum

Report Page