I Had Sex With My Mom

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I Had Sex With My Mom
By Gross over this, 7 years ago on Dating
Help, my bf had sex with his mom :'(

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I am very devastated and hurt like hell when my boyfriend just told me all this mess. I will try to be clear and short
My mom's bf is a sl*t ( sorry now I have to call her that), she was trying to seduce my bf to have sex with her when he was visiting her on vacation, but he said to me he was trying to reject her many times then one night he woke up to her being on his top :'(. I don't want to go in details because this thing seems so disgusting and gross but I don't know what to do either. Ditch him? He kept saying he was sleeping and she was trying to do that. I know many of you would think about this soo gross but I just want to be clear, is it possible that a man can have sex while sleeping or my bf was trying to lie to me to cover his behavior also? Though he has been very honest to me ☹️ . I am just both disgusted and don't want to talk to him right now..Please give me advice
Your posting is confusing. Who did your BF have sex with?
His mom :'(. Can you please re-read my post?
You said before "mom's bf" so that is what I am clarifying. What do you mean "while he was visiting her on vacation?" How old are you both? Is his father around?
yeah, my mistake for using word, sorry for it. He didn't live with her parents and was back to visit them so when he was staying there for few weeks, things happened between him and his mom. He is 28 and I am 25. His father didn't know anything and my bf only told me about that. I really don't know what to think or do ☹️
I do not think that this incident was the first time it happened. This may be his way of reaching out for help. Please have him call 1-800-799-SAFE . This is the National Domestic Violence Hotline. He can discuss privately with someone and get resources to help him find counseling and/or take legal action in your home town.
In the meantime, recognize that this type of thing is not his fault or a reflection of how he feels about you. This is his mother taking advantage of her son in the worst way possible. You may also want to call the hotline as well to discuss your feelings and possibly seek some counseling for yourself to deal internally with this matter.
Thank you very much for the advice and I really appreciate that. The problem is we ( me and my bf) are living in a different country now and that thing happened when he came back to the States to visit them. The point is my bf at the first time agreed to let her touch his private place for her curiousity and they ended up doing oral for each others ( so this is my bf's mistake I do think) but he said he tried to avoid the tempting things from his seductive mom and one night later woke up to her being on top of him. I just don't know if he was trying to lie to cover his action, since at the first time they did things together it means he agreed for her to do that ( at that time me and my bf were kind of being on hang due to fightings )
I am very confused ☹️
What happened between him and his mother has NOTHING to do with you guys fighting. Honestly, you are in way over your head. The relationship between them is still ongoing; even if he stops now and seeks help this will be a huge roller coaster ride for you. I think that you can support him as a friend, but really distance yourself right now and find a caring professional who can discuss this situation with you.
yeah I lost all the respect for him mom as well as it really damaged our relationship. I am very gross over this thing. I don't know what to do, it would be much better if that was a random girl but it was his mom. I can't tell this situation to any friend or my family. After telling me all the truth, my bf seems to avoid talking to me too, and I also don't want to talk to him right now, should I just break up with him and leave all this mess and move on? Things are really over my handle
Ask yourself if this is the kind of relationship you see yourself in for the next 60 years of your life. As of now, he is still a man who is a little boy inside terrified of his mother and under her control. He has to be at a point where he is ready to confront her himself and you cannot pull his arm to make that happen. I'm sorry this is a terrible situation for you to be in and I do hope that you make a decision that will be the best for you and your future.
Yeah I told him what his mother and he did together was really hurtful to me and his dad ( his dad doesn't know anything at all) and the reason why she did it to her son as his words was she wasn't having sex for a very long time like few years and his dad couldn't function properly and that's why she used her son when he was back to visit them. It sounds mean to leave him in this situation but I feel terrible to be around him imagining things between him and his MOM
Stop talking about how hurt you are feeling to him. His mother has more control over him than you do and He needs help and clearly he is justifying why the thing happened when frankly, it is IRRELEVANT and changes nothing about his relationship with the mom. You are not equipped emotionally to handle what is happening and you need to stop worrying about sounding mean and focus on your own mental health.
There is no way that your boyfriend could have had sex with anyone, including his Mom, while he was asleep. It is physically impossible because, in order to have sex, a man has to have an *****. Even if he woke up with one and his Mom was on top of him, he could have pushed her away and not have had sex with her. It is not normal to have sex with your Mom. I knew a guy who was psychologically messed up because his Mom made him have sex with her while he was a teenager. When he grew up, he had problems having normal sex with women his age because of this. Your boyfriend has a problem and he needs help. He is trying to excuse his incestuous behavior with his Mom by saying he was asleep. I know you are hurt and disgusted. That's a normal reaction. I don't think you should stay with him because he is very unstable and you should be thinking of your own safety and stop worrying about him. He needs to see a therapist and get straightened out before he can have a relationship with a normal girl like you.
Gross, we get the picture. Now go take care of yourself.
Please listen to Night_Orchid and Foxie Ladie.
Gross, we get the picture. Now go take care of yourself.
Please listen to Night_Orchid and Foxie Ladie.
Hi Foxie and night_orchid, thank you for being there for me when I am this terrified. I don't really know what to say but if he wanted to do real sex with his Mom, he should have hiden the truth with me but he told me everything and kept saying he woke up to his Mom doing him. I honestly agree with Foxie that a man couldn't have sex while being asleep but he said he pushed her away right after he found out her on his top and confronted her. As his words, she said she saw my boyfriend hard and couldn't help it -_-.
Should I trust his words ? ☹️ . I haven't talked to him about this cause I feel very hard and I couldn't talk to anyone else either. And it's not easy to find a therapist in this country where we are both living now. So only guys could give me help
"I don't really know what to say but if he wanted to do real sex with his Mom, he should have hiden the truth with me but he told me everything and kept saying he woke up to his Mom doing him."
I'm sorry but that is absolutely ridiculous. You are saying that it would have been o.k. to have sex with his mom so long as he didn't tell you he was having sex with her? I think you need to seriously find some counseling, even if you have to go somewhere else to get it.
I understand your point but I just really want to know if he is just lying to me about the things. Like foxie said, a man couldn't have sex while being asleep and he did say he was. So I meant things happened between him and his mom was the consent of two, not only from his mom ( cause if the case it was from his mom then it would be her raping him)...
Technically, e.rections occur during a man's sleep. I find it very odd that there are no men contributing to this thread. Perhaps they fear they will be in the line of fire and suspect for having random e.rections while unconscious (which is not uncommon). Infact, I regularly find my husband erect when sleeping but he is completely unconscious and not aroused in the way women interpret it. It is perfectly viable for me to use his ***** while he's sleeping and it depends how deep of a sleeper a person is. This is of course rape, and not consensual sex.
In this other situation, it seems consensual because o.ral sex requires a level of consciousness and ability to perform consensually. Your boyfriend is a bit confused and needs to talk to a professional. The last thing he needs is a girlfriend who's freaky deaky, emotionally highly strung and extremely unstable. No one is blaming you for your reaction which is probably normal. But you should calm down, chill out and take a step back.
Deal with what has happened. Forget the who said, he said, she said nonsense. Just deal with what happened which was sex between two people which didn't include you.
Thank you very much Myriad, your answer somewhat settled me down a bit and i know one fact that my bf is a really heavy sleeper. And you're right, I am here to listen to many point of views so I know how to deal with the situation. I have been still silent with my bf about it and he seems also avoid talking to me too. I really don't want to wreck things worse or blow up things badly. So yeah, I am trying to be calm as much as possible, only confiding here with you guys.
And as you said, I really also want to know the other men contributing to this post...
Remember that you will be okay and you will survive this. You're right. This is pretty out there but there are also thousands of people dying in Nepal as we write. I know it may be wrong to bring that up here and I know that you are in a lot of pain. You shouldn't have to feel that you can't be upset because letting that out and being authentic with your emotions and being you, however you feel about this, is good.
I just wanted to mention that e.rections do happen while men are asleep and it is not because they are aroused. In my experience with relationships, sometimes these ***** are so annoying it's hard to pee in the morning. (otherwise known as morning wood) I am not excusing your boyfriend's actions or his emotional or mental health after being exposed to his mother. There are most likely some deep scars there but it's not my place to mince it up or draw a diagnosis. I'm afraid I don't have the qualifications for that. Only someone qualified and able to speak to him can help him if he wants that help. Even then, it may not be a cure or something he can just simply forget or move on from so easily. I think you know this and that's why you feel so helpless. That is okay.
No one here probably has the heart to tell you whether you should stay or you should go. Ultimately that is your decision and you know, either way, no matter how opinionated we all are, we would support you and help you through it even if you just wanted to start a thread to talk about how you're doing and give updates. There is always someone online and the moderators do a fine job keeping this place alive and happy.
Just know that you are not alone and you don't have to deal with this alone or pretend not to feel or be strong. I think the only person who can give you the answers you need is your boyfriend but if he doesn't feel healthy enough to talk about this, you may need to find your peace of mind elsewhere and learn to cope with this in your own way. We're all here for you.
I understand that you are in complete shock over this and are trying to rationalize his behavior in any form possible. But I strongly disagree with Myriad that he was sleeping, because your BF already told you that earlier that same evening his mother had come on to him and he allowed her to touch him and they had ***** together. He would have left the home and not stayed on to allow the intercourse to happen. I am willing to bet money that this is not the first (or probably last) time he has been intimate with her.
You can't fix him. You can certainly encourage him to get counseling if you decide to stick around.
Hi guys, last night I tried to talk with my boyfriend about the thing and it went down hill very badly. The exact message I sent him was "( His name) you probably know that I might have been thinking about what you told me. Do you think you need to talk with someone professional cause I honestly think you really need it" . That exact message made him go so mad at me :'(. He thought that I thought about him so poorly and called him crazy ( but I didn't and I was really shocked at his reaction). Even though I felt really bad at it but my goodwill was taken so wrongly and he definitely didn't listen to me and kept blaming me to think that he was a crazy person (?!). I am so hurt and it was a huge misunderstanding thing between me and him and things now are really messy, he never replied me anymore. I feel it really ridiculous and unfair for myself.
This is probably not something you want to text anyone about. No one wants to wake up to that kind of message suggesting they seek professional help when they're blurry eyed in the morning or exhausted after work. Poor execution on your part.
Just let it blow over, don't pester him or anyone, let things cool down. You might do yourself some good to distance yourself from the situation and not get involved right now. He already told you to back off. Now that you started it in such an awkward way you may want to smooth things over with some finesse and just tell him you are sorry for texting and were just worried about him - would he like to meet you for coffee whenever he has time.
Leave it at that and go enjoy a barbecue or make lemonade or busy yourself with other things. Don't text about these things. It's the worst way to approach a tough subject.
It took me a lot effort to text him that message after he told me about things. And worse, he thought that I thought he was a psychopath so he said to me that i should be out of his life and leave him alone. Though I already said sorry a lot and told him to calm down, I just wanted him to seek help cause he kept saying he felt sad and odd, that's exactly what I texted him, I said it was my concern and I got worried for him but well, he listened nothing at all. HE WAS REALLY MAD. And of course I am feeling so hurt ' no good deed goes unpunished'
What should I do now? It seems really done for him ..
You should break up with him. Even if his mom bring on top of him when he woke up WASN'T his fault, the fact that they had ***** is something that he could have avoided. That's just wrong and on so levels.
Well, I must be the one to tell you, 25 to 30% of boys out there have that type relationship with their mom. Many just never disclose that to anyone, even their wife/girlfriend. It's been that way for centuries. I have known guy for most of my life that had this unique relationship with mom. I'm a counselor, and I tell you I get in on this all the time. Most just never reveal this. Maybe he is telling you the truth that he isn't wanting it cause of you. Most boys never stop having sex with mom. Even long after marriage.
I had sex with my mother, then aunt, and my grandmother. Not sure what this unstable nonsense is your speaking about. You knew one guy who admitted to it. He might of been unstable but seriously doubt it was having sex with his mother that caused it.
I've since been married , and moved away from my family. Not saying I wasn't molested as it started at age 11 and ended at 18.
What I'm saying is you can't judge the impact nor the cause of mental issues without all the facts.
Frankly I've had none other than resentment towards my family. To each their own I guess.


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First of all she is not my blood mother , but she is the only mother I can remember . My real mother was killed when I was less than four years old . She was going to work according to my father , and made a mistake , she pulled in front of a train and it killed her. I really don't remember much at all . My father for what ever reason met and married my step mother in only about 8 months after my mother was killed. She can not have children and is almost 18 years older than me . So she raised me and the only mother I have ever known . About a year ago my father was killed by some crazy black man who wanted his truck . According to the sheriff the man was high on drugs , and wanted my father's new Toyota truck . I was so angry to this day I will never have a black friend as long as I live . I have come to hate nigs. I began sleeping with my mother out of l*** for her. She is still very beautiful and did little to resist me after my father was dead . She did nothing to provoke my advances , It was me who did everything . I wanted her so bad, I open the door while she was taking a shower and got in with her. I pushed and pushed her to have s** with me . For a long time she refused . Then finally she let it happen . I now sleep with her every night and love the s** . She is so clean and beautiful , It took a while and now she loves the s** with me . S** with an older woman is absolutely fantastic and especially if you love he
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