I Didn't Make Him For You

I Didn't Make Him For You
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You didn't make him climb that rock, didn't make him fall.
Daria (1997) - S01E13 The Misery Chick
The Big Bang Theory (2007) - S03E11 The Maternal Congruence
South Park (1997) - S22E01 Dead Kids
SpongeBob SquarePants (1999) - S01E19 Fools in April
Well, you didn't expect him to make it easy for you.
I Love That for You (2022) - S01E06 Crystal Buddiez
The Big Bang Theory (2007) - S11E12 The Matrimonial Metric
You didn't make him feel bad, did you?
Didn't you say you could make him sleep?

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How often does he call and text? (Question 1 of 15)
How often does he call and text? (Question 1 of 15)
Love may feel magical, mysterious, and inexplicable, but it isn’t as random as it seems—there’s actually hard science behind it.
This is why we feel instantly drawn to some people but couldn’t care less for others. Why some people hold our interest after that initial attraction, while others don’t. There is a science behind attraction and what causes us to not only be attracted to someone, but to continue to feel strongly for them.
Yes, a lot of the time things flow so naturally it’s hard to imagine there are real, rational, concrete things going on behind the scenes causing those butterflies, and that is how relationships should feel. You should never force a relationship, and you can’t make someone feel a certain way if they just don’t … but you may be able to tip the scale in your favor and help Cupid along by doing certain things that will increase his attraction to you and keep him interested.
Follow these scientifically proven ways to get build his attraction and desire for you:
Familiarity breeds attraction. Research shows that the more you see someone, the more attracted they will become to you. This goes regardless of how attractive you actually are or how attractive they initially found you. There is something about a familiar and friendly face we appreciate.
We’ve always been told that first impressions are what matters and that for guys especially it’s a yes or no right away when it comes to women. But attraction really isn’t a fixed thing.
We know that someone’s personality can make them more attractive to us, but it takes time to get to know someone. They obviously have the same face before and after you discover they have a fantastic sense of humor or are super smart, making them more attractive.
In the same way, studies show that just seeing someone frequently can boost how attractive you think they are.
What to do:
Get some face time with him. Do this only if it can be done naturally; don’t be a stalker and show up at places where you think he’ll be … well, don’t do that too often anyway!
It’s fine if, for example, you were invited to a birthday party and normally wouldn’t have gone, but you know he’ll be there, so that changes your mind. Because as far as anyone knows, you’re there for the party and not to see him. But know when to take a hint.
If you see him a lot and he’s had ample opportunity to take things to the next level and he isn’t doing so, it’s because he doesn’t want to. Familiarity breeds attraction, but it can also breed contempt. Remember there are two sides to every coin, and you need to go with what your gut is telling you, not just blindly follow a series of steps.
If you feel pretty strongly that he’s not interested , move on. Someone else out there will think you’re amazing. But if you think there’s a chance he could be attracted to you, use these tips to make him more interested.
Seeing him a lot can make him more attracted to you, but how can you make him feel that spark, that connection? Mirroring his body language can help. Mirroring is something we subconsciously do when we like someone. You cross your arms, he crosses his, he leans in, you lean in, and so on.
Just because you normally do this subconsciously doesn’t mean you can’t do it on purpose: you can create feelings of closeness by mirroring him as a way of saying I like you and I feel the same way you do.
Studies show that the reward centers in our brains light up when someone we’re interacting with mirrors our body language, regardless of how attractive we find them. It’s thought this is because when selecting a mate, it’s optimal to find someone we can easily understand and cooperate with, and someone “speaking” the same body language makes us feel we’ve found our match.
If he takes a sip of his drink, wait a few seconds and sip yours. If he leans in and folds his arms over the table, do the same. If he tilts his head while talking to you, you tilt yours. Subtly let your body reflect his posture. Keyword: subtle
Don’t take it too far and copy every move he makes, or you’ll look like you’re playing an awkward game of Simon Says.
Being a little vulnerable and sharing bits of our authentic selves can create a sense of closeness, and it’s what paves the way for forming a truly intimate connection.
One study found self-disclosure is the key to making people like you, and this goes beyond just romantic relationships. People who disclose more personal things about themselves tend to be more liked than people who don’t. Also, it goes both ways, because once we disclose more personal things to others, we like them more, too.
Be real with him. Open up a little more than you normally would. Emphasis on a little. Don’t let all your skeletons out of the closet or overwhelm him with TMI.
Just be a little more authentic. If he asks what you do for work, tell him and maybe explain why your job is meaningful. Or if you don’t like your job, be honest about that and what you wish you could be doing, without going into full-complain mode. All basic questions have multilayered answers. So just peel back a little and give him more than the surface exterior.
Good news- personality counts for a lot more than you think!
In one study , researchers asked men to rate how attractive they found photos of a wide variety of women’s bodies, ranging from super skinny to obese. But one group saw information about the women’s personalities before viewing the photos, while the other group saw only the photos.
Bottom line: personality mattered. We know men are visual, but the idea that they only care about looks isn’t supported by this study. Men who were given positive personality traits to associate with the photos were attracted to a wider range of body sizes than the group that wasn’t.
Not only were men more attracted to overweight women when they were told they had good personalities, they were less attracted to skinny women who had bad personalities.
You can’t turn yourself into something you’re not (and you shouldn’t want to!) but you can work with what you have. Refine your good traits and work to improve your bad ones. We all have them—nobody is perfect.
To do this you need to be a little introspective and get honest with yourself. This can be really tough. Nobody wants to think about what makes them less than a great person. Think about stuff that you’ve done in the past that’s caused negativity and deal with it. Ask someone you’re close to how they think you can improve.
One thing to keep in mind—like generally attracts like. The better the person you are, the better the person you’ll attract and probably end up with, and that will make for a better, happier relationship.
Red is known as the color of passion and love, but apparently, it’s not just symbolic—wearing red can actually increase a guy’s attraction for you.
Studies had already established that red on females increases male attraction in the animal world, but now a study has been done to see how this works for us.
In one experiment, men who talked with women in red ended up asking more intimate questions than they did of women wearing green. As we mentioned earlier, self-disclosure is key in attraction; if he wants to know more about you, he likes you.
In another experiment, men talking with women in red instead of blue chose to sit closer to the women in red. When men like you, they want to be close to you. The scientists running these experiments believe that for men, red means sex, and this isn’t just cultural conditioning, it’s biological. Use science to your advantage!
What to do:
Invest in a few good red pieces. This can be subtle like a scarf, or bold like a curve-hugging dress. Or maybe even experiment with a red lipstick. Basically, think a little more strategically when dressing for a date or headed somewhere you know he’ll be.
Good news, adrenaline junkies! Thrill-seeking can increase feelings of attraction.
That adrenaline rush mimics feelings of arousal, so feelings of attraction are pretty much guaranteed to follow. You’ll not only have fun and a new shared experience to bond over, an exciting or scary experience will make you more attracted to one another. Studies have actually shown that shortly after experiencing something scary, men were four times as likely to call a woman than if they’d just experienced something ho-hum that didn’t get their adrenaline going.
Not an adrenaline junky? That’s okay, it’s not just scary stuff that leads to attraction. The increase in adrenaline from regular physical activity can do the trick, too. One study showed that after only 15 minutes of physical activity, people were more attracted to people of the opposite sex than people who did no exercise at all.
You don’t need to jump out of planes or do anything too death-defying. Sometimes a scary movie or roller coaster or a really competitive board game can be enough. Think about what gets your adrenaline going and try to work that in when dating or hanging out with someone you want something more with.
And remember, the adrenaline rush doesn’t even have to be from something scary—it can be from physical activity, so hit the gym or go for a run with him.
We naturally want to touch people we like, and most of us like being touched, so it’s probably no surprise that touching has been shown to build attraction. Studies show that when you touch someone, they are more likely to become attracted to you.
There are real science-based reasons for this: Touch can cause a chemical reaction within us and change how we feel about someone else. In the early stages of a relationship, touch causes a rush of dopamine that makes us feel high (love really is a drug!)
In one study, touching coupled with eye contact caused elevated heart rates and increased desire, and in another, it only took brief touches to increase likeability and attraction.
Touch remains important throughout a relationship. As time goes on, touch doesn’t fill us with as much lust, but it creates feelings of bonding and comfort.
Don’t hang all over him, but try to increase physical contact. If you’re in a relationship or dating, cuddle, hold hands, and hug. Research shows that face touching and hand-holding were considered more intimate than other forms of touch, so if you’re trying to increase intimacy, keep that in mind.
If you’re not a couple yet, find subtle ways to touch him and see how he reciprocates. Brief touches are good and have been shown to make a difference. Studies have even found that female waitresses who lightly touch male customers get higher tips.
Above all else, the way to capture a man’s interest is to be interesting .
We don’t really need science to tell us this—it’s human nature to be attracted to people who are interesting.
Live a well-rounded life. Live for you—not a man. What do you care about? How do you like to spend your time? What do you find interesting? Don’t obsess over relationships or depend on men or having a man around to gain your sense of worth. This just creates pressure for them to be your all, and nobody wants that kind of pressure.
You doing you is interesting. If you think there’s potential with him, take it up a few more notches by trying out some of these science-based ideas.
I hope this article gave you some insights into what makes a man fall for a woman. But there’s more you need to know. Capturing his interest is one thing, keeping it is another! Do you know what makes a man want to commit to a woman and what makes him see her as “the one”? If not, you need to read this next: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
Also, in every relationship, there will come an inevitable point where he starts to pull away and seems to be losing interest. He’s not as excited by you, the spark seems to be fizzling, and you feel like you’re losing him. Do you know what it means and how to respond? If not, read this too: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...

I’m Sabrina Alexis, the co-founder, and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing relatable, insightful articles that help people understand relationship dynamics and how to get the love they want. I have a degree in psychology and have spent the last 10 years interviewing countless men and reading and studying as much as I can to better understand human psychology and how men operate. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Instagram.

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This is the blog of a 47 year old gay guy in Sydney, Australia. I'm short on stature, but big on ideas. Spending much of my time looking at life through a slightly twisted lens, attempting to unscrew the inscrutible.

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Inside, a part of me is still a seventeen year old in my sister's cast-off platform shoes, a garter belt (which my mother bought for me) and surgical gown, striding up the aisle with a water pistol telling Janet to "Buy an umbrella you cheap bitch!". Sweetie, I soooooo wish I was there in the audience to see that, just thinking about the mental image this formed in my mind caused me smile and laugh out loud. And you know thats huge , huh, considering where my head has been at of late. I have long been wanting to buy a copy of this DVD myself, but was not mad enough to pay full retail. On sale, huh? I must check that out. In the meantime, will have to check out your copy .... I can hardly wait already .... oh the anticip .... .... ation :-) [Back in the early 1980'a, and with my now favourite lesbian Annthea, we once dazzled, amused and I think probably terrified a country town nightclub when we launched into a single handed enthuastic dance of The Timewarp, complete with all the steps, after haranguing the DJ to play it. Dont dream it, be it , indeed.]

Bodes, E-Z DVD in Imperial Arcade had it for $15, that's where I got mine. It's quite a mental image, no? My old friend Pat and I got our pic in the Australian Post once (classy), taken at one of the early birthday celebrations for the film. Both of us in full Frank-N-Furter drag. I also used to go dressed as a Transylvanian; tails, spats, birthday hat etc. Good times. Maybe we should check the film out one Friday night and see if it is still as rowdy? Glad I made you smile pet.

What a great memoir! I would have NEVER guessed!!! I have only seen it once live, and the crew that performed were excellent. I loved this movie from the first time I saw it, and I probably should go again...

Hah! After all this time I'm still quite the surprise package. :-) I'm not sure the audience participation thing is what it used to be, but I think there are a few theatres in NYC where the show crew and regulars keep things on track. If you do go see it, I'd be interested to hear how it was.

Agree with you about Rocky Horror and I have fond memories of the Friday night midnight showings. You want to go and see it one Friday night?

I'm lucky and saw it so many times when it was still so fresh and fun for everyone. Nothing but smiles and laughter. Almost giddy. We were part of the "out in-club". And you only told friends. Great mental images for me too, Andrew. I'm so chuffed that you have this in your background. My mum loved this when it came to telly. If I was over on Halloween, she'd yell out to me in the kitchen that Tim was coming down the lift. I'd rush in to watch. "How d'you do Iiii see you've met my.. Then we'd sing it together (yep, my little mum, "I'm just a cheap transvestite..." and I'd do that ster-rutttt. Love that strut. And the lip thing. Good times. Aw. Petal. Now I'm teary. I miss'er so. ::sniff::

Rocky Horror screen annually at Adelaide's sessions of Moonlight Cinema (http://www.moonlight.com.au/ ... actually it only screens in Adelaide and Perth this year for some reason)... and that's the only time (well, times actually) I've seen it with a crowd... A summer's night, good friends, a pic-a-nic basket (Hey BooBoo!), a blankie and the three huge sofa cushions from my old sofa... and about 150-200 Rocky fans... the only downside being you can't throw rice because it makes the ducks explode (well, it swells in the bellies and kills them)... My favourite open-air Rocky memories are hurling a piece of toast during the banquet scene and finding out later that it hit the new boyfriend (who I didn't like in the slightest) of a boy I had the hots for... SCORE! And the other memory is squirting my water pistol at one of a group of slightly obnoxious Yr 10 drama students and having him try and bury his head futher under his paper while I aimed quite happily at the triangle of skull that was still visible... I'm an evil troll if you annoy me. >:D Of course, there was also the party my friends threw where we (after having a fair bit to drink) ended up acting out the whole movie along with the video... I was Frank... obviously... :P

James, I'd love to go and check it out! Absolutely. Glad that you have fond memories too Loulou. Mentioning your mother made me think, just what did our parents make of this when we were younger? The dressing up etc. I had a younger neighbour who used to come along, so he would have been about 14, and one year his mum made a Rocky birthday cake for us (black icing and big red lips). Funny I'd forgotten about that. I can empathise, it's been 20 years since my mum died, and I still miss her. It softens but never goes away. yaniboy, that sounds like it was fun. (Is the Moonlight Cinema held on the bank of the Torrrens, btw?) Remind me never to piss you off, m'kay? :-) We used to take so many props to the film (newspaper, water pistols, rice, toast, playing cards, hot dogs) it was like carrying your shopping to the cinema!

I've never seen this. ::ducks and cringes::

(Is the Moonlight Cinema held on the bank of the Torrrens, btw?) Remind me never to piss you off, m'kay? :-) We used to take so many props to the film (newspaper, water pistols, rice, toast, playing cards, hot dogs)... In the Botanical Gardens actually... And yes, pissing me off... never a good plan... I hold dear to the ideal that revenge is best serves at subzero temperatures... :D I also have fond memories of making toast while waiting for my friend to come and pick me up, only to let it cool down on
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