I Caught My Son Masturbating

I Caught My Son Masturbating

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Home | Patients and Families | Health Library | Is It Normal for an 11-Year-Old Boy to Fondle Himself?

Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
© 1995-2022 KidsHealth® All rights reserved. Images provided by iStock, Getty Images, Corbis, Veer, Science Photo Library, Science Source Images, Shutterstock, and Clipart.com

The other day, I walked into the bathroom and caught my 11-year-old son fondling his penis. Is this normal? I remember the old warning about boys going blind from this. It's not true, is it?
– Jane
As kids mature physically and emotionally, they become increasingly curious about their sexuality and their own bodies.
Although infants and younger children do touch their own genitals from time to time because they like the way it feels, masturbation is more common in older kids, from the preadolescent and teen years and beyond.
Contrary to the beliefs of some, masturbation won't cause your son to grow hair on his hands, become infertile, go blind, or develop emotional problems. A small number of kids and teens with existing emotional problems may become preoccupied with masturbation — just as they may become overly occupied with other behaviors or thoughts.
Other than that, masturbation is generally considered by health care professionals to be a form of harmless self-exploration and sexuality. While some preteens and teens may choose to masturbate, others may not.
Because masturbation is often considered a private topic, kids can feel too embarrassed to talk about it, fearing that their parents will be angry or disappointed. Many may prefer to talk to older siblings, friends, or their doctors rather than a parent.
If you continue to be concerned or have questions about masturbation, you may want to talk to your child's doctor.
© 2022 Johns Hopkins All Children’s Hospital. All rights reserved

9yr old daughter started masturbating?
Hello, just recently my daughter has started masturbating in the shower. This really bothers me and I don't know how to handle it or what to say to her. I want to be open and honest and I want her to know that she can talk to me but I don't know where to start with this one. Is it normal?
Yes, totally normal. I personally would just leave it as probing her further may just end up needlessly embarrassing her. It's perfectly normal to explore your own body, why does it bother you? Can I just ask (out of nosiness) how you know she is doing it?
How do you know?! Id say its normal x
Thank you that makes me feel loads better. I walked in on her shower a few weeks ago and saw her - she immediately pretended she wasn't doing anything and bless her, my heart went out to her. She asked me to close the door when I went out which I did but I lingered on the other side listening to the rhythmic noise and aching that my baby girl was growing up Since then she asks to shower in private. I did have a heart to heart with her about growing up and experimenting etc but she wasn't keen to persue it so I let it be. It only bothers me because she's still so young and I didn't realise that she would be having these feelings at such a young age.
Thank you that makes me feel loads better. I walked in on her shower a few weeks ago and saw her - she immediately pretended she wasn't doing anything and bless her, my heart went out to her. She asked me to close the door when I went out which I did but I lingered on the other side listening to the rhythmic noise and aching that my baby girl was growing up Since then she asks to shower in private. I did have a heart to heart with her about growing up and experimenting etc but she wasn't keen to persue it so I let it be. It only bothers me because she's still so young and I didn't realise that she would be having these feelings at such a young age.
Bless her she must have been mortified when you walked in. I am almost certain I did it at that age, I have done it for as long as I can actually remember (and there's definitely nothing wrong with me ). The important thing is that she shouldn't feel it's something to be ashamed of. Perfectly normal and absolutely fine to do privately.
Thank you that makes me feel loads better. I walked in on her shower a few weeks ago and saw her - she immediately pretended she wasn't doing anything and bless her, my heart went out to her. She asked me to close the door when I went out which I did but I lingered on the other side listening to the rhythmic noise and aching that my baby girl was growing up Since then she asks to shower in private. I did have a heart to heart with her about growing up and experimenting etc but she wasn't keen to persue it so I let it be. It only bothers me because she's still so young and I didn't realise that she would be having these feelings at such a young age.
It shouldn't bother you as this is totally normal. Children as young as six learn to masturbate. It's wrong to associate masturbation with adulthood and sex because it's not quite the same.
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Oh goodness. My daughter is 9 and hadn't given it a thought! I remember my mum walking in on me, on the floor, rubbing myself against a cushion!! It was never mentioned though. X
Oh gosh.... I hope my 9yr old isn't doing such things... She still seems so young. Although she bathes with her younger siblings with the door open.... Feeling your anxiety. X
I have a 9 and 11 yr old daughters,and was cort masturbating by my 9 year old.i didn't realize she was stood watching,and now I've seen her masturbating!I feel so guilty thinking its my fault:(
Don't make an issue of it. Somebody a while ago talked about a 'growing up box' which I plan to so for my two girls soon. It included books about sex and biology, sanitary towels etc... Maybe just do something like that and offer her the choice to come to you with any questions...
What is it that you are worried about? This is perfectly normal behaviour.
Oh gosh.... I hope my 9yr old isn't doing such things... She still seems so young. Although she bathes with her younger siblings with the door open.... Feeling your anxiety. X
Not a very helpful comment - it's perfectly normal behaviour
Maybe not helpful, but a scary thought none-the-less...
Maybe not helpful, but a scary thought none-the-less...
My eldest is 9 i wouldnt feel comfortable knowing that either. How do you know she does this? and does she just touch her bits or actually masterbate? i wouldnt have known how to at 9
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9yr old daughter started masturbating?
Yes, totally normal. I personally would just leave it as probing her further may just end up needlessly embarrassing her. It's perfectly normal to explore your own body, why does it bother you? Can I just ask (out of nosiness) how you know she is doing it?
Oh goodness. My daughter is 9 and hadn't given it a thought! I remember my mum walking in on me, on the floor, rubbing myself against a cushion!! It was never mentioned though. X
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My thought exactly Lucy. I don't believe my 9yr old even knows what to do. she is quite a 'nieve' (sp?) 9yr. old, much prefers to play with younger girls that older or same age. I don't think i even thought about it until high school, And I think the OP's feelings about it at this age is about on par with mine.
Oh goodness. My daughter is 9 and hadn't given it a thought! I remember my mum walking in on me, on the floor, rubbing myself against a cushion!! It was never mentioned though. X
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Interesting comments and views. My opinion and experience is that most kids get curious about their bodies but its usually no big deal and they move on quickly.
Bath or shower times with siblings or parents are beneficial and healthy in this regard.
What we adults call and understand as masturbation and how kids understand their touching/feeling/exploration behaviour are often quite different.
The most important thing is to not make a big deal out of it and to deal with it using common sense, understanding and support.
I agree it is very natural for her to explore but totally correct talking to her about it embarrassing.
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Its perfectly natural. My daughter ( now 11) masturbates pretty openly at home
We are pleased that she is not ashamed of her body and its natural functions and can enjoy them!
Much better this way then in hiding.
That is good as long as not too open at home. Like when others are around. But I am sure you told her that
I agree it is very natural for her to explore but totally correct talking to her about it embarrassing.
Yes cause Moms understand daughters and their curiosity down there front and sometimes in back.
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What surprises me most is parents that feel its natural for their son to masturbate but at same time feel is unnatural for their daughters to masturbate. Its natural for both to be curious down there so as same time leads to masturbation. Definitely if you catch daughter playing with herself don't call her on it since it would be very embarrassing and demeaning to her since most very modest.
As mom of daughters prefer that at young age than catching them experimenting with boys at early age
Perfectly normal. I caught my 12 year old, he now locks the door, I told him if he ever wants to talk about anything just to let me know, or to write his question on a piece of paper and I will write a response on his paper and he can dispose of the question and answer or keep it, if it helps. He is pretty shy and easily embarrassed. I monitor the internet to make sure that porn and such isn't an obsession. For boys that a common issue with the internet and obsessing about the new discoveries that come along with puberty... almost would be easier with a girl child, they seem a lot easier to talk to since they are usually more emotionally mature than boys are..
First off though if I had a girl in the same situation, I would have my wife talk to her... so that off the bat would be easier for me lol. Women are better at communicating with little girls since they relate to them and once were one themselves.
Since we have 2 boys I am the one who will be answering all the growing up questions.
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Yes cause Moms understand daughters and their curiosity down there front and sometimes in back.
Makes sense daughters curiosity holes front and back from very young ages
From any age they start young or old doesn't matter to you they are exploring their body and found what felts nice doesn't need to be brought up it's normal and private to them. They are their own person . She may hear you doing it or having sex nobody needs question It. Some things if you know just need leaving it's fine. Until she's having sex then make sure she knows protection and she can talk to you making a big deal over exploring body will only make them never tell you anything. It's not really your business
Daughters more curious about bodies now specially if have older sister or catch mommy naked. Noticing the adult female body
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I hope I don't annoy you by saying that I think it is normal for girls her age to start masturbating. It's around that age that they start to get curious. Some girls (and boys) do it later, but it's a natural urge for her to start to touch herself. I had to ask a friend what to do lol I wanted to do it, I just didn't know how. She's getting the same urge. I'd be surprised if she went all the way at first. She's probably just touching a little bit. How
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