I Can T Stop Masturbating
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Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST — Written by on July 12, 2019
Masturbation is a normal part of sexual expression. It can relieve stress and help a person determine what they enjoy sexually. If it becomes compulsive, however, it may become a problem. If this is the case, there are many ways a person can stop masturbating.
In most cases, masturbation is a normal sexual practice that does not cause any physical or emotional distress.
However, it can become a problem if it is interfering negatively with a person’s life.
In the sections below, we discuss why it may be beneficial to stop masturbating, how to stop, and how to recognize when it may be becoming a problem.
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Staying active can help a person lower tension and focus their energy.
In some cases, masturbation can lead to negative emotions or interfere with certain aspects of a person’s life.
For example, if a person limits their interaction with others or misses work to masturbate, it may be time to consider how to stop masturbating.
Although uncommon, frequent masturbation can cause skin irritation and swelling of the penis.
When this is the case, it may be necessary to stop masturbating to ease the symptoms.
If masturbation is becoming a problem, there are strategies and techniques to help a person stop.
A combination of techniques may be helpful, including the following:
Exposure to pornography may trigger the desire to masturbate.
People who want to stop masturbating should avoid pornographic movies, images, and websites. If a person can place a barrier between themselves and pornography, it can help them break the habit.
It is now very easy to access pornography in just a few seconds. However, people can try to limit their access to pornography by using filters on electronic devices that block certain types of content, such as pornographic material.
Although a person can unblock such websites, taking the time to do so can give them time to regain control of their impulses and allow the urge to pass.
It can be helpful for a person to find ways to occupy their time that does not trigger the desire to masturbate.
Finding outlets for energy release can replace the time spent masturbating. People can consider taking up a new hobby or learning a new skill, such as learning a musical instrument or trying a new sport.
Developing new goals can help a person refocus their energy and find excitement and fulfillment in other things.
It may also be helpful to determine when the urge to masturbate is highest and plan other activities for that time.
When masturbation is negatively affecting a person’s life, it may be helpful to seek advice from a mental health professional who specializes in human sexuality.
It is possible that additional issues, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, are the underlying problem. Talking with a therapist or psychologist is useful to work through negative feelings and learn behavior modification strategies to stop masturbating.
Some people may masturbate because they feel lonely or have nothing else to fill their time with.
Spending less time alone reduces the opportunities to masturbate. Spending time with others will not only keep a person occupied, but it might also redirect their focus.
There are several ways to decrease solitude. People can meet up with friends or family, take a class, or join a gym to stay socially engaged with others.
Exercise is an effective way to both lower tension and positively focus energy.
Activities such as running, swimming, and weight lifting can strengthen the body and release endorphins that promote feelings of well-being.
Feeling happier and more relaxed may reduce the urge to masturbate as frequently.
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Joining a support group can help decrease feelings of guilt and shame associated with compulsive masturbation.
When masturbation is compulsive, it might be due to various reasons. For example, it may be due to:
However, having support from a trusted group of people may be helpful for some people to quell the habit. Finding a support group can give them the space they need to express concerns and develop positive coping strategies.
When a person talks openly about the challenges they face, others can help them feel validated. This can decrease any feelings of guilt or shame associated with compulsive masturbation.
Masturbation does not typically cause side effects.
However, if masturbation is compulsive, constant, or vigorous, it may cause the following side effects:
Myths that masturbation causes blindness or infertility are not true.
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Masturbation becomes a problem if it is negatively affecting a person or impacting other areas of their life.
For example, if it starts to interfere with their ability to orgasm or have sexual relationships with a partner, it may be worth addressing the habit.
In some instances, masturbation can be a compulsive sexual behavior.
A compulsive sexual behavior involves an intense and repetitive preoccupation with sexual urges, fantasies, and behaviors.
It is worth noting that this is not the same thing as having a high sex drive.
Compulsive behavior causes psychosocial issues or distress. This makes it hard for a person to actually enjoy the behavior.
When masturbation is a compulsion, it is a mental health issue. According to a case study report in the Journal of Psychiatry, compulsive masturbation is usually either an impulse control condition or a type of sexual dysfunction.
For some people, masturbation also causes feelings of intense guilt.
One study in the journal Sexual Medicine, which involved 4,211 men attending a sexual medicine outpatient clinic, found that 8.4% of the men reported feeling a sense of guilt after masturbating.
All the participants completed a questionnaire and a structured interview regarding their frequency of masturbation and associated feelings.
Feelings of guilt may also lead to other issues. For example, higher levels of guilt was linked to increased alcohol use, which may cause other mental and physical health concerns.
In most cases, masturbation is a normal part of sexuality. Masturbation frequency varies greatly from person to person, and there is no “normal” frequency.
However, if masturbation begins to interfere with other parts of a person’s life or starts to cause distress, it might be helpful to stop or reduce the frequency.
There are several ways to stop masturbating, including avoiding pornography and focusing on other activities. However, if someone suspects that they have a problem with sexual compulsion, it is best to seek professional help.
Last medically reviewed on July 12, 2019
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Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST — Written by on July 12, 2019
Medically reviewed by Femi Aremu, PharmD
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Last Updated: December 11, 2020 References
Masturbation happens in every culture, across every period of history, and it's the way most adolescents discover what they enjoy before embarking on adult sexual relationships. Masturbation is a healthy and natural part of human sexuality and development. However, if you are unable to control your urge to masturbate or if frequent masturbation is interfering with your school, work, or social life, then it's possible to gain control.
Know when to seek help. Masturbation is a natural and healthy behavior. Even if you masturbate often, you may not have an addiction. If you cannot control your thoughts or urges or if masturbation is preventing you from participating in school or work, it may be time to reach out for help. Don't feel ashamed, and remember that many people have similar problems. Seeking help is a brave action, and most people you ask will see it as such.[1]
Make an appointment with a medical professional. Counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists are all trained to help people with varying levels of addiction. Start by seeing a therapist in your area, who can assess your addiction and refer you to more specialized help if necessary.[2]
Discuss how masturbation affects your life with the therapist. Some people may use masturbation as a way to distract them from other feelings, emotions, and problems. Try to be open with your therapist as you discuss the impact that masturbation has on your life.[3]
It may take a few sessions for you to feel comfortable with your therapist. This is natural. Take the time you need.
If you feel empty, sad, or angry before or after masturbation, share these details with your therapist. They can help you determine the source of your feelings.
Discuss your treatment options. Masturbation addiction is considered by some to be a form of sex addiction. Your therapist may recommend a combination of medication and cognitive behavioral therapy to help you work through it.[4]
Find another outlet for your time and energy. Fill your life with engaging activities. The excitement of doing something different can help replace the urge to masturbate, and you'll have a go-to distraction next time you're tempted. Try some of these options:[5]
Be creative. The process of turning sexual urges into creative output (called sublimation) is something on which monks and sages have relied upon for centuries. Start writing, learn to play a musical instrument, paint, draw, or do whatever else makes you feel like you're doing something productive.
Play sports. It takes discipline and persistence to excel at a sport. Develop an interest in running or swimming, or a group sport like soccer, football, basketball, or tennis. Also, any form of exercise will help you relieve tension, feel happier, and make you focus on your physicality in a positive way. Yoga is another form of exercise that can help you feel more relaxed and less likely to feel the sudden urge to masturbate.
Eat a healthy diet. Fruits and vegetables have healthy effects on the body and provide nutrients necessary to increase your energy to make you more active throughout the day. Minimize consumption of aphrodisiac foods, such as oysters, salmon, chili peppers, coffee, avocados, banana, and chocolate.
Find a new hobby, or cultivate a skill. Learning something that takes a while to master can refocus your brain on the delayed gratification of achieving goals instead of the instant gratification of masturbation. Try skills like cooking, woodshop, archery, baking, public speaking, or gardening.
Volunteer your time. Devote your energy to helping teens who've been less fortunate than you, such as working at a shelter, tutoring low-income students, cleaning up blighted areas, or raising money for a good cause. You'll get an altruistic feeling from helping others, and you'll have less time to stray from your goals.
Get enough sleep. Urges to masturbate can be exceedingly strong, so make sure you have enough energy to fight those urges. Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep. If you frequently forget to go to bed at a reasonable hour, set an alarm to remind you.
Make a plan for avoiding masturbation during your go to times of the day. If you have problems before going to bed or in the shower, refrain from any temptation to masturbate. For instance, if it's a problem late at night, drop to the floor and do push-ups until you're too exhausted to do anything but fall asleep. If you find shower time too tempting, start using ice cold water only — you won't want to be in there for long; cold shower will offer the added benefit of saving you time and water.[6]
If you always masturbate when you get home from school, make sure to have a solid plan to stave off any boredom you may feel. If you have so little to do that your mind frequently wanders to sexual thoughts, occupy your schedule. You'll find it gets easier to avoid masturbation if you're too busy or tired to spare any energy for distractions.
If you're tempted to masturbate in the morning, try to sleep with more than just one layer of clothing so touching yourself is more of an effort.
Limit your solitude. If you masturbate frequently because you feel lonely, find ways to be as socially engaged as possible. This means that you should join as many clubs or activities as you can, accept and give more invitations to people, and go out of your way to make more friends. If you want to date someone, consider asking a friend to set you up or join an online dating site.[7]
Another thing you can do is to limit the times when you are likely to be home alone. If you tend to masturbate in the hour or two before your parents get home from work, go for a walk during that time, or do your homework in a coffee shop.
Even if all of your friends are busy, you can still limit your impulse to masturbate by going out in public. For instance, instead of watching the game at home by yourself, watch it at a sports bar. Even if you're not hanging out with friends, you will not be alone, ultimately having no time for masturbation.
Stop watching porn on your computer. One of the reasons you may be masturbating so much is that you know that you can access porn within seconds if you desire. However, if you don't have the willpower to stop looking at the porn on your own, then you may have to take other measures to get the job done:
Consider installing porn-blocking software on your computer. Of course you will know the password to bypass the blocking function, but just having it pop up will remind you of your priorities. You can also type a random password in a text file, copy and paste it when you enter your password and verify it, then delete the text file. Then, you will not be able to know the password of your own porn-blocker. This is the best way to keep you strong and spare you the struggle.
If you have the tendency to masturbate looking at porn on the computer, try moving your computer into a room where others can see you.
If you have a physical collection of porn, dispose of it ASAP (as soon as possible).
Be persistent and patient. Stopping a masturbation addiction won't hit you like a lightning bolt. It's a process that requires commitment, and you might make mistakes or relapse on occasions. The real struggle is persevering, so commit now that you won't let little mistakes stand in your way.
Set up a reward system. Bribe yourself to stay on-track with rewards for good behavior. For instance, if you can go two whole weeks without masturbating once, treat yourself to a small indulgence like a new game or an ice cream cone.
Stop punishing yourself. Remember, you're human, and humans masturbate. Some studies show that up to 95% of males and 89% of females admit that they have masturbated. Masturbation is normal and healthy for all ages and genders.[8]
Don't believe the myths about the harms of masturbation. If you want to stop your masturbation addiction, then you should do it for reasons that are personal and moral, not for reasons that are health-related. Here are some things that masturbation will not do to your body:[9]
Masturbation will not cause infertility, premature ejaculation, or impotence.
Masturbation will not cause insanity.
Masturbation will not cause blindness or even eye floaters.
Masturbation will not cause frequent urination.
Masturbation does not affect facial hair, growth, facial features, kidneys, testicles, cause skin problems, or cause any major physical issues! These are all myths.
Know that it will get better. If you believe that you can really find a way to stop your masturbation addiction, then you'll be able to do it. Maybe your goal isn't to stop masturbating completely, but just to limit your masturbation to a healthy amount, such as once or twice a day. That's perfectly fine, too. If you have the belief that you really can win this battle, you'll be much more likely to succeed than if you're constantly second-guessing yourself.
That being said, there may be days when you have relapses. This is a normal part of the recovery process. Don't become discouraged. Believe in yourself.
This article was co-authored by Natalia S. David, PsyD. Dr. David is an Assistant Professor in Psychology at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center and a Psychiatry Consultant at Clements University Hospital and at Zale Lipshy University Hospital. She is a member of the Board of Behavioral Sleep Medicine, the Academy for Integrative Pain Management, and the American Psychological Association’s Division of Health Psychology. In 2017, she received the Baylor Scott & White Research Institute’s Podium Presentation Award and scholarship. She received her PsyD from Alliant International University in 2017 with an emphasis in Health Psychology. This article has been viewed 13,239,139 times.
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