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13 Ways to Have Better Sex, According to Science

Tell Her She Looks (and Tastes) Great

Don't Worry So Much; Intercourse Isn't Everything

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You can bottle up your sex-related questions or ask your idiot friends. Or, you can call up doctors and experts for sex advice on their one surefire trick in the bedroom. Listen and learn. (By the way, they go great with these sex positions .)
"If anybody trains you on a sport, they're going to train you first on your breathing. If you begin to work with your breath, just like you would in a yoga class , or if you're running, or doing anything physical where you coordinate your breath and your movement, all of a sudden you create a rhythm... Finding the rhythm of your own breath—not only through sex but all things—is going to improve your life, your endurance, and your ability to remain calm and not anxious."
— Kumi Sawyers, an instructor at Sky Ting Yoga in New York
There are few places where feedback can be more important than in the bedroom . Knowing what's working (or not) can lead to better, more rewarding sex. When done well, dirty talk can drive your partner crazy. When done poorly, it can drive them, well, home. Literally. Successful dirty talk isn't always about the actual words used, but more about connection and intention. This may seem obvious, but if you aren't sure what kind of dirty talk your partner likes or if they like dirty talk at all, ask them!
— From Giulia Rozzi's Guide to Dirty Talk
"I think it's important to cue up the videos in advance, to know what your favorites are, because this process is very drying. If you feel awkward in the moment, be like, 'Yo, I'm feeling hella awkward right now.' Because it can start with you guys making fun of it." And then, debrief on what you liked—and didn't like. That will transfer to the bedroom.
— Shan Boody , sexologist and author
According to not one but 34 sex therapists, the scientifically proven " desirable " length for intercourse is seven to 13 minutes. That's not including foreplay.
"It's been proven that women who feel confident about the appearance of their genitals are more open to different kinds of sexual activity, and are more likely to orgasm because they feel relaxed... When a man goes down on his partner, he should be enthusiastic, tell her how beautiful she is and how great she tastes. Don't treat it like a chore."
—Debra Lynne Herbenick, Ph.D., Indiana University, Kinsey Institute
"There is a degree of manipulation when it comes to the amount of neurotransmitter released... Looking at a nude picture will trigger a quick and strong release of dopamine and possibly oxytocin, but it fades quickly... Let her work for it a little; she'll enjoy the prolonged neurological orgasm more."
— Andrea Kuszewski, Behavior Therapist and Consultant, Boston, Massachusetts
"The only difference between a gigolo and a regular guy is that a gigolo listens to what a woman wants in bed. So, ask. I would also advise that you ask her while not in the bedroom—raise the discussion while out walking or doing some other casual yet intimate thing together."
—Dr. Helen Fisher, Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University
"Arginine is the basis for Viagra, so men should stick with foods high in it—such as oysters, fish, and other lean proteins. Everything that's good for you above the waist is good for you below the waist as well: greens and beans; high protein/low-fat foods; and brightly colored fruits and vegetables, high in antioxidants. The Standard American Diet is ... a detriment to performance."
— Lynn Edlen-Nezin, Ph.D, co-author of Great Food, Great Sex
"There's no proven human pheromone to make you irresistible. So, until one is found, wash well—you can have too much of a good thing. (But why not leave a worn T-shirt at her house? It will keep you always in her mind.)"
— Dr. Tristram Wyatt, Department of Zoology, University of Oxford
"If you're thinking, 'I hope it works! I hope it works!' it's not going to work. Take penetrative sex off the table for a month—do everything but that. Avoid making intercourse the be-all/end all. In most cases, once men stop worrying about it, it starts working. You can definitely stress yourself out of a boner."
— Emily Wentzell, Assistant Professor of Anthropology, University of Iowa
"For women to get aroused, parts of their brains associated with stress and anxiety need to de-activate, according to neurological studies in the Netherlands. If women aren't relaxed, they're not going to enjoy sex. So dim the lights and share a fantasy. A Harvard study found that when you hug a woman longer than 30 seconds, it increases her oxytocin levels and anticipation of sex."
—Ian Kerner, Ph.D, FAACS, author of She Comes First: the Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
"Find out what position of intercourse is most stimulating to her—it's usually woman on top, facing away, also known as the reverse cowgirl. The angle of the penis through the anterior/front wall of the vagina stimulates the area of the G-spot."
— Beverly Whipple, Ph.D, Professor Emerita at Rutgers University and co-author of The Science of Orgasm
"Sensual touching releases a powerful sex hormone called oxytocin, which increases a woman's testosterone levels and ignites her sex drive. The seductive silky feel of oil being rubbed on skin is a turn-on for more passionate sex—for both of you."
—Carol Cassell, Ph.D, former president of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, Western Region

by Nicole Blades , Aryelle Siclait , Sabrina Talbert and Marissa Gainsburg Published: Oct 24, 2022
This content is imported from poll. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
Aryelle Siclait is the editor at Women's Health where she writes and edits articles about relationships, sexual health, pop culture, and fashion for verticals across WomensHealthMag.com and the print magazine. She's a Boston College graduate and lives in New York.
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Some things in life are better on repeat: Friends , perfectly sunny beach days, your trusty manicure. Your sexcapades, though? Definitely not one of them. Even the hottest spark in the bedroom needs new sex positions to stoke the flames from time to time—otherwise things get boring, fast.
"Anytime you introduce something fresh and novel into the bedroom, you set yourself up for a more stimulating experience and bigger finish," says Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex therapist in Los Angeles. In short, your brain craves newness, and especially for women, your brain is very involved in your excitement and satisfaction.
Trying out different ~moves~ can also work wonders for your relationship. "One significant challenge to intimacy is the loss of novelty in the bedroom," says Shawntres Parks, licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego. Exploration between the sheets amps up emotional intimacy and encourages partners to take risks and grow together. New sex positions will encourage vulnerability with one another in—and outside of —the bedroom. And in the end, you’ll find your relationship injected with an extra dose of trust.
In some cases, switching up positions might even be a must. "If you're thinking 'ouch' when the offer of sex is put on the table, you could definitely benefit from exploring other positions that are more comfortable for folks with diverse abilities, as well as those with chronic pain, or pain from penetration," Parks adds. But even after you’ve found that pain-free position, that doesn’t mean it’s your only option. While it’s easy to become a creature of habit as soon as you’ve nailed that go-to, comfortable, climax-every-time position, Parks urges you to keep mixing it up. There are SO many possibilities out there—some even beyond your wildest imagination.
Going it alone? You can mix it up on your own, too. Try as they may, it's unlikely someone pleasures you better than, well, you can, so dedicate some quality time to discovering what gets you off without the pressure of having to make someone else feel good. There are tons of positions you can take on while playing with yourself, and then , should you want to bring someone in on the action, you'll know exactly what you want them to do and can communicate that off the bat.
Meet the Experts: Vanessa Marin , is a licensed sex therapist in based in Los Angeles, California. Donna Oriowo , PhD, is a licensed sex therapist and owner and lead therapist at AnnodRight . Shawntres Parks is a licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego, California.
Ah, but where to begin? How about with any of these 49 orgasm-inducing positions that'll blow your d*mn mind.
How to do it: Have your partner lie down, flat on their back. Then climb on top, so you're facing away from their upper body. This way, you'll look like the number 69 , get it? Your genitals should be lined up with your partner's mouth, and their genitals should be lined up with yours. Alternatively, try it in a side-by-side position.
Why: This position is one of the best for dual pleasure as both partners can give and receive at once.
Make it hotter: Sure, the mouth-to-genitals stuff is the main attraction, but don't shy away from getting handsy, too. You might even want to bring in a sex toy , especially if you find it hard to concentrate while your partner's going down on you and need to proxy for a bit.
How to do it: Near the edge of a bed or bench, rest on your hip and forearm and press your thighs together. Your partner stands and straddles you, entering or grinding from behind.
Why: Keeping your legs pressed together during this sex position allows for a tighter hold on your partner as they thrust.
Make it hotter: Instead of letting your partner do all the work, try thrusting your hips slightly to match the tempo.
How to do it: Your partner sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face them, seated on their lap.
Why: During this sex position, you’re in control of the angle and depth of the entry and thrust. Being seated adds support, so it’s great for marathon sex sessions.
Make it hotter: Let your fingers (and hands) do the talking. Once seated, you can put your hands anywhere on your body or your partner's to make things more interesting.
How to do it: Get on all fours, then have your partner kneel behind you, with their upper body straight up or slightly draped over you (ya know, like a humping dog).
Why: This sex position allows for deep penetration and easier G-spot stimulation .
Make it hotter: Stimulate your clitoris with one hand, or ask your partner to do the finger work for you. "Temperature play can happen here, too!" says Donna Oriowo, PhD, is a licensed sex therapist and owner and lead therapist at AnnodRight. "Grab an ice cube and slowly run it down the spine of your partner."
How to do it: Lie on your right side; your partner kneels, straddling your right leg and curling your left leg around their left side.
Why: With this sex position, you get the deeper penetration of doggy style while still being able to make that important eye contact. Or, if penetration isn't your thing, your partner can easily grind against up against you stimulating your clit.
Make it hotter: Add nipple clamps into the mix or grab an ice cube and have your partner use it on your nipples, says Oriowo.
How to do it: Lie facedown on the bed, legs straight, hips slightly raised.
Why: This sex position creates a snug fit, so your partner’s penis or strap-on will seem even larger.
Make it hotter: " This is a great opportunity to nibble or bite on your partner's shoulders and the back of their neck to add additional sensations," explains Oriowo.
How to do it: Lie back with your legs resting on each of your partner’s shoulders.
Why: This sex position is awesome because when you raise your legs, it narrows the vagina and helps target your G-spot .
Make it hotter: Ask your partner to start rocking you in a side-to-side or up-and-down motion. That should bring the penis or strap-on into direct contact with your G-spot.
How to do it: Similar to the popular Cowgirl sex position, you kneel on top, pushing off your partner's chest and sliding up and down the thighs. But your partner helps by supporting some of your weight and grabbing your hips or thighs while they rise to meet each thrust.
Why: This sex position puts less stress on your legs, making climaxing easier. Plus, if you're with a guy, female-dominant sex positions delay his climax—so everyone wins.
Make it hotter: Alternate between shallow and deep thrusting to stimulate different parts of the vagina.
How to do it: Get on your hands and feet and have them pick you up by the pelvis. Then grip their waist with your thighs.
Why: Aside from being a fabulous arm workout, this male-dominant sex position allows for deeper penetration.
Make it hotter: Try resting on a table or the side of the bed and give your arms a break.
How to do it: This is a modified doggy style position. Get on your hands and knees, then, keeping hips raised, rest your head and arms on the bed.
Why: This sex position creates deeper penetration —and gives you a chance to rest on a pillow.
Make it hotter: Use your hands to stimulate your clitoris.
How to do it: Your partner sits, legs bent, leaning back on their hands and forearms. You do the same and then inch toward them until you make contact.
Why: You’ll both feel really connected looking at each other. Increase your stimulation by grinding your clitoris against their pelvis.
Make it hotter: Slide ice cubes down their chest and let the cold water collect at the base of their pelvis.
How to do it: You kneel on top, pushing off your partner's chest and sliding up and down their thighs. You can relieve some of your weight from their pelvis by leaning back and supporting yourself on their thighs.
Why: By being the dominant in this sex position, you’ll delay their climax and intensify yours.
Make it hotter: " Change the depth and pressure by bringing your chests closer together, a.k.a. lean in," says Oriowo. "While you’re leaning forward, take the time to add in some nipple play and neck kisses." Alternatively, she recommends grinding in directions that slightly differ from what you normally do. Tend to go back and forth? Channel your inner Ariana Grande and go side to side.
How to do it: Your partner lies on their back; you straddle them, facing their feet.
Why: The beauty of reverse cowgirl is that it lets you take control and show your partner the pace and rhythm you like.
Make it hotter: To get more leverage, put your knees and shins inside their legs and under their thighs.
How to do it: You lie on your back while your partner straddles you. They then gently inserts their penis, strap-on, or finger through the tight opening created by your semi-closed legs.
Why: Tightness increases the intensity of the penetration.
Make it hotter: Have them fondle your breasts or gently hold down your wrists for a little bondage action . If you're into BDSM , this is a great opportunity for some light choking, Oriowo notes. Otherwise, your partner can grab a toy to use on your clit.
How to do it: Standing on one foot, face your partner and wrap your other leg around their waist while they help support you.
Why: This sex position allows for quality face time and connecting.
Make it hotter: If you’re really flexible, try putting the raised leg on their shoulder for even deeper penetration or clitoral stimulation during outercourse.
How to do it: Do I really need to spell this one out? Okay. L ie on your back while they lie facedown on top of you.
Why: The missionary sex position is simple, elegant, effective, and surprisingly versatile. Vanilla, sure, but delicious.
Make it hotter: You can drastically change the sensation for both of you by shifting the angle of your legs.
How to do it: Your partner enters you from the missionary position, then slides their chest and legs off your body so their pelvis is in the same location but their limbs form an “X” with yours.
Why: You feel more of your partner's body in motion with this sex position.
Make it hotter: Use this unique angle to massage their back, butt, or legs as they thrust. They'll go crazy (as will you, watching them).
How to do it: While they sit on the bed or a chair, back yourself into their lap and spoon each other while seated.
Why: You can’t see your partner during this sex position, which means fantasizing is easier and can add to the excitement.
Make it hotter: Tighten the muscles of your pelvic floor so you can grip them and keep them hard AF or stimulate their clitoris.
How to do it: Both of you lie on your sides, facing the same direction. You bring your knees up slightly while your partner slides up behind your pelvis and enters you from behind. (You may also know this as spooning.)
Why: This sex position allows for more skin-to-skin contact, increasing your stimulation.
Make it hotter: Have your partner place their hands on your shoulders to increase the intensity and deepness of the thrust.
How to do it: From the missionary position, without disengaging, turn together onto your sides, using your arms to support your upper bodies.
Why: You get the same full-body press and can gaze into each other’s eyes.
Make it hotter: Try intertwining your legs with his or fondling them down below.
How to do it: Your partner sits with their legs straight and you sit on top of them with bent knees on top of their thighs, and you both lean back.
Why: This position gives you both nice views of each other’s full bodies. You’ll also have control over the depth, speed, and angle of the thrusts.
Make it hotter: Have them use their hand to rub your clitoris, or use your own. Lean back farther for extra G-spot stimulation.
How to do it: Lie back with your legs raised all the way up and your ankles crossed behind your own head. They enter you from a missionary position.
Why: Your hands are free to work your clitoris. As you should.
Make it hotter: Have them “ride high,” rubbing their pubic bone against your clitoris, or “ride low,” directly stimulating your G-spot with the head of the penis, the strap-on, a dildo, or a finger.
How to do it: Lie on your back with your legs raised and folded over so that your ankles are on either side of your head, while they squat and dip their penis, strap-on, dildo, or finger in and out of your vagina.
Why: Aside from getting that eye contact, the extra rush of blood into your head will increase the ecstasy.
Make it hotter: Have them dribble chocolate syrup or something sweet into your mouth (yes, really). It gets more of your senses involved, amping up the entire experience.
How to do it: Your partner sits on the edge of the bed and you sit on them, facing away while leaning back on them.
Why: This sex position will hit the spot…as in, your G-spot. Meanwhile, you can use your hands to stimulate their scrotum, per
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