I Am Dating Someone Younger Than Me

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“It was a whirlwind post-divorce experience."
If you're ready to accept that age is just a number, then your pool of eligible bachelors just got a hell of a lot bigger—and might include some much younger dudes. 
Plus, all the cool kids are dating younger these days. Kourtney Kardashian allegedly hooked up with Justin Bieber not long ago, while Carole Radziwill, the 50-something star of The Real Housewives of New York City, is currently dating Adam Kenworthy, who's more than 20 years younger than her. And, we all remember the OG cougar from Sex And The City, Samantha Jones.
Curious what it's like to get serious with someone lacking as much life experience as you? We asked real women to spill all the details of dating a more youthful dude.
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"I once dated a guy who was 10 years younger than me. I was 36 and he was 26. We were at two different stages in our lives: He was still working at his first post-college job and I was the chief marketing officer of a tech start up. I was working long hours and making six figures. He was working eight hours a day and making $40,000 a year.
"What I loved about the relationship was that I felt empowered. I made all the decisions, like where we went on vacation or what spot we ate at. I would also pay for almost everything, like food, plane tickets, or a night out at a bar. I liked that, though, because I felt like I didn't need to rely on him for anything. I was able to have independence while also being with a person who made life fun. Whenever I was too caught up in work, he encouraged me to go out with him and party till 4 a.m. or ditch checking my email to hang with his friends. I liked that aspect of our relationship. However, we ended up breaking up after a year of dating because he cheated on me with someone two years older than him. At that point, I realized I didn't see much of a future with him anyway. He was, essentially, a kid." —Tamara K., 38 (This 20 Function Bullet Vibrator from the Women's Health Boutique is the only bullet you'll ever need.)
"When I was 41, I dated someone who was 33. I liked the thrill of it at first. He still enjoyed going to concerts, bars, and doing fun activities that weren't just dinner and a movie. We dated for three months. Honestly, he made me feel younger, and when we first started dating he thought I was his age. When he found out I was almost 10 years older them him, he was shocked, but said I seemed younger than my age. Ultimately, the age factor didn't matter much to him. We were both successful in our careers, we constantly talked about current events, and had similar political and social views. But, to be honest, it was exhausting to date him because he could never relax. When I suggested just spending a night at home eating dinner, he'd beg to go out and try a new restaurant or get a table at a club. Deep down I was more of a homebody, so it didn't work out." —Amy V., 43
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"Back in 2012, I ended up dating someone I worked with who was 15 years younger than me. We found ourselves in a romantic relationship when we slept together after our company's holiday party. At the time, I had just gotten a divorce, so getting into a fast and fun relationship was a whirlwind post-divorce experience. It felt refreshing to date a good-looking younger guy. He said I was the oldest woman he had dated, but that he liked to date women older than him. We didn't have much in common, but that didn't matter. We had a great time together.
"Despite the fact that our relationship was going well, everyone in my life told me I was crazy for dating him. When my two kids found out (they were 8 and 11 at the time), they wouldn't even talk to me. They were mad that I had moved on from their dad so quickly and also found it weird that I was dating someone so young. My friends thought I was just trying to get revenge on my ex-husband, who had cheated on me. However, the only reason we were together was because our relationship made me feel good about myself. We only dated for five months, but that wasn't because of the age gap." —Wendy P., 47
"I was 43 and my now ex-boyfriend was 29, which actually isn't that much of an age gap. However, there were four or five times when we were out and people thought that I was his mother. It didn't help that he looked very young because of his baby face. It was embarrassing when I had to tell people that he was my boyfriend." —Olivia C., 44
See how real men and women feel about cheating.
"Everyone assumes that when you date someone younger they're more wild and immature, but it was the opposite when I dated a guy who was nine years younger than me. When we met online, I wasn't looking for anything serious but he was actually looking to settle down. He had just finished law school and was working crazy hours. On the other hand, I was working two part-time jobs, while auditioning as an actress. Despite me being older, I liked to joke around and party, while he liked to Netflix and chill. Ultimately, it didn't work out because he was looking for a wife and I had no marriage goals for my near future." —Alexia L., 37
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I Met “The One” But He’s 7 Years Younger Than Me
What's the deal?
By Hannah Coleman

I’ve always been open to whatever the universe has for me, which is why I’ve dated all sorts of people from all types of backgrounds. These experiences have taught me to accept people for who they are and to be flexible, but dating a man who’s seven years younger than me has pushed me to my limits.
1. He acts his age.

My boyfriend is 25 and he acts like it. There’s nothing wrong with that except I’m 32. The extra years I have on him have made me a lot more mature. I don’t want to force him to become something that he’s not, but I also don’t want to date someone whose maturity level is not the same as mine. The problem is that there are so many great things about him. He ticks so many boxes but I worry that his lack of maturity will become a problem. All the talk of women who dated younger guys and got burned is just making more worried about where this relationship is going.
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2. I can see him beginning to change based on what I say to him.

I think that growing and becoming a better person is good in any relationship, but I worry that my boyfriend is molding himself into my ideal guy. Just over the last few months, he’s stopped going out and doing a lot of dumb things with his friends. I don’t want to force him to become something he’s not. I want him to be a good partner to me but also be his own person.
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4. I feel like I’m robbing him of his youth.

I had all my fun in my twenties and I still have fun now I’ll be it a different kind of fun. My boyfriend keeps telling me that he doesn’t mind growing up a little faster, but I worry that not getting to experience the things that he should will come back to haunt us. I don’t want to deal with a husband who has a mid-life crisis because he didn’t get to have fun in his twenties.
5. His family doesn’t like me.

I should mention that I have only met his family twice, but the vibe I get from them is that they don’t approve of our relationship. His sister even made an offhand comment about how much he’s changed and asked him if it was because of me. I don’t want to create tension in his family or marry into a family where no one likes me.
6. I don’t know if he’s ready to be a father.

As a woman of a certain age, I feel like my biological clock is ticking. So many of my friends that are only a couple of years older than me are having fertility issues. I don’t want to wait too long and face the same consequences. The only problem is that I don’t know that my boyfriend is ready for kids and I don’t want to force him to be.
7. I wonder if there will always be a maturity gap between us.

Yes, my boyfriend has done a lot of growing up in the past year, but he’ll always be seven years behind me. While I’m trying to work my way into junior management, he’s just starting in the corporate world. So much of who I am and the maturity I have comes from my life experiences I worry that as time goes on, I’ll continue to feel like he’s one step behind me. I fear that I’ll always feel like he’s not my equal, which sounds horrible but it’s true.
8. People always mistake him for my younger brother.

I know that other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter, but it feels weird whenever we go into a restaurant and someone assumes we’re related. I want everyone I meet to understand he is my man, not raise their eyebrows when I say that this young looking 25-year-old man is my boyfriend.
9. My friends and family doubt that he’ll stay with me.

Something we all know about young men is that they tend to be flaky. I’d love to say that the thought of my boyfriend leaving me has never crossed my mind but that would be a lie. At 25, I didn’t know what I wanted. How could he? And if he does, how sure can I be that he’ll want the same thing in 10 years?
10. I worry that we’ll grow to resent each other.

The reality of our situation is that we are in different places in our lives. If we go at my pace and get married and have kids, I worry that my boyfriend will be resent me for pushing him into a more mature lifestyle early on. If, on the other hand, we go at his pace, I worry that I will resent him if for some reason I can’t have a child. I find myself torn as I’ve never been. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend is “The One,” I just wish we were the same age.
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Hannah Coleman Hannah is a twenty-something-year-old freelance writer, obsessed with reality TV, and all things sweet.

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