I Am Asshole
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I Am Asshole
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19 Things You Know If You're An Asshole
Asshole: anyone who doesn't do, say, think, or feel exactly what you want them to and doesn't care
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I know what you're thinking... I know I can be slightly offensive at times, but I doubt I qualify as a true-to-the-core asshole. But, here we are. So, you might be an asshole if:
To anyone who can relate to MULTIPLE Heartbreaks, Lies, Cheats & Schemes.
First, I would like to say I think pure love is the most beautiful thing on this planet. To feel and be able to share with family, friends, or even just with your pet or favorite pair of shoes. Love can also be the scariest thing on the planet and with my many experiences with love- came with many tests, trials and tribulations. Wheeeeew, if I were to go into every story and detail of how many times I have been taken advantage of and lied to, YOU'd probably think I was lying. Lol. But that has never stopped me from showing love and wanting others to know how genuine and pure love feels. Even if it is just with my clients, I always want to know how they are feeling and doing. No ulterior motive or hidden agenda.
From the second your paws first hit the ground I smiled at you and in return you gave me one back, knowing you'd stepped into your forever home. Months went by and I watched proudly as you grew, bigger and then even bigger. We had spent so many seconds, minutes, and hours together. We were like two siblings the way we argued and played.
Why does September feel so melancholy?
Today, I sat in my fishing buddy's small rowboat, drifting on the surface of the Walkill River, leaned back, and felt so content I nearly fell asleep. I opened my eyes, in awe of a gorgeous cotton candy-colored sky moving along like a painting. One tiny little detail I noticed: the sun was beginning to set.
An open letter to the place I call home on the 20th anniversary of living here.
We fail to see that Our home is a sinking ship, Vanishing slowly.
They failed to see that This place was a sinking ship Inevitably doomed.
Photo : Getty Images ( Getty Images )
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“Am I the Asshole?” is a subreddit where users tell a story of interpersonal conflict, and ask who’s in the wrong. Redditors give their opinions, and the most-upvoted comment becomes the verdict. While a crowd of 1.2 million redditors may not be the ideal jury for deciding appropriate social behavior, reading these stories is messy fun. Here are the best.
The most famous post in the subreddit. This went around Twitter and Facebook too, until everyone knew about this poor asshole, who won’t take his girlfriend out on a date. “Now that I’m thinking about it,” he writes, “she’s gotten kinda gloomy because I’ve asked her to cook on date nights instead of going out more often.” The whole internet made fun of this jerkoff who didn’t realize he was treating his girlfriend like his servant.
His updates were even better: This isn’t some early relationship, they have kids together. He took his girlfriend out for one dinner of tapas, then got so excited that he proposed to her. She said no. Then the post went viral, the girlfriend saw it, and she got mad—as we learn from an update post , in which the guy admits he’s still making his girlfriend cook every night . Breathtaking. As one commenter says, “The way you talk about being fed casserole for the thousandth time as if youre serving time in purgatory instead of being fed by a loving girlfriend is insane to me.”
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Guy gets sick of his roommate’s girlfriend barging into his room without knocking (sometimes when he was still in bed, naked under the covers), even after he asked her not to. So one morning he lays on top of his covers naked, she walks in on him, and now the roommate and the girlfriend both think our redditor is a creep. (He says in the comments that his lease doesn’t allow a lock on the door, and that he’s “gay as spring.”) Consensus is that he’s the good guy here, and that he needs to get a doorstop. Seems a bit late for that.
Read enough of these and you’ll find one where you disagree with the majority opinion. Redditor “throwawaycwdrama” is sick of people asking about TCWD’s three missing fingers. So when each of the redditor’s new co-workers asked, TCWD gave a different silly answer. The co-workers believed them, argued amongst themselves over the real reason, and got mad at the redditor for lying to them. Commenters mostly agreed that there’s no asshole here and this is all silly—which is ridiculous! It’s rude to ask a new co-worker about a physical condition! It’s ludicrous to ice them out because they’d rather not tell you! There was a lot of controversy in the thread over whether or not the co-workers were assholes, but somehow “no assholes here” won out. UGH
Reddit has a fat-shaming problem, and it shows up a lot in this subreddit. I was ready to vote “YTA”—you’re the asshole—from this headline, but then I read the story: “She doesn’t call me by name she calls me ‘slim’ and I even heard her say one time ‘go ask toothpick’ and she has said stuff like ‘you need some meat on your bones’ & ‘you need to eat.’ I have only worked there 8 days. I have asked her very nicely to stop.”
So the next time her co-worker said “Hey Slim,” she replied, “Hey Chunky.” And the co-worker cried. Commenters widely agree that the redditor isn’t the asshole here, though a few wise ones suggested getting out of the body-shaming game and going with “Good morning, verbally abusive stranger!”—or simply replying “Hey Slim!” right back.
This isn’t about a friend wearing out his welcome—this redditor’s friend is trying to raise a 3-year-old daughter alone after his wife died, and he asked the redditor to put them up for one night because he can’t sleep at home surrounded by memories of his wife. The redditor says, hoo boy, “I tell him she can stay but he can’t because he has to get over it eventually.” Everyone agreed the redditor is the asshole; some don’t believe this story could even be real.
The mods had to tell people to stop insulting this redditor, even though she is clearly the asshole. (It’s an important rule of this subreddit: don’t be an asshole, even to an asshole.) This redditor overheard a teen girl saying she was going to buy an expensive pair of boots on her dad’s credit card. She decided this means the teen is a spoiled brat. So she followed the girl to the register and told the cashier, “That’s not her card.” Then the cashier wasn’t allowed to sell the teen the boots.
The teen cried, and the redditor took this as proof the teen was spoiled—“I don’t think she was ever told no.” And then the teen used her own card to buy the boots. Which really seems like the nail in the coffin for our redditor. Cashier and the redditor’s husband both feel that she was out of line for shaming this teen. Reddit heartily agrees.
Kid names his stuffed tiger Tig, asks for a last name. Dad suggests “Bitties.” Kid loves it, wife is “pissed.” The vast majority of redditors decided, “NAH”: No Assholes Here. Mom’s right, that name could cause a little trouble, but so what?
Read more of the greatest asshole stories on the subreddit’s top posts page , and follow new stories here . Remember, even when replying to an asshole, do not be an asshole. The goal is to have fewer assholes in the world, is it not? (For a subreddit with fewer rules and sillier submissions, try the spinoff Am I the Butthole? )
And think very carefully before posting your own story in this subreddit. Most popular threads have a post from the moderators up top, telling everyone to stop threatening and abusing each other. (They’re pretty good at cleaning up the bad comments, so if you get to a post after the first few days, it’s usually only appropriate comments up top.) And you’ll get lots of direct messages from supporters and detractors. The author of “AITA for asking my brother not to bring his boyfriend to my wedding?” posted an update to their legitimately difficult post: “I wanna thank the redditor that sent me a private message and said they hope a mass shooter shows up at my wedding, so thoughtful!!!”
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10 Questions
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By Firedragon1138 | Last updated: Mar 22, 2022
| Total Attempts: 7600
The vehicle in front of you is going to slow. You…
How do you feel about people in general?
Someone calls you a name at a party.
FIND OUT WHETHER YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE, A BIOTCH, A JERK OR A BANANA!!!
Questions: 8 | Attempts: 1435 | Last updated: Mar 22, 2022
Are you ready for a Random personality quiz? If you do enough, here is one for you. Don't mind when this quiz starts to get tricky and a little bit irksome. These random questions will help us in telling you whether you are...
Questions: 10 | Attempts: 64432 | Last updated: Mar 22, 2022
Are you bored? Are you looking for a random funny quiz MCQ (questions with options)? If so, you have arrived at the right place as we have brought a fantastic test that will challenge and entertain you. Have you ever heard that...
Questions: 10 | Attempts: 65152 | Last updated: Jul 11, 2022
Take this fun "Asshole test: Am I an asshole? " Lately, there has been some question on TSR as to who is a true asshole and who is not. This test, the ARSE (Asshole Rating Self Exam), will help you determine what category you fall into. Make sure you post your results on TSR for the rest of us true assholes to laugh at. Have some integrity and answer truthfully. The rest of us will know if you don't.
Honk the horn repeatedly until they speed up.
Swear and flip them off, hoping they will see you in their mirror.
Pass them and then take off like a bat out of hell.
Pass them while honking the horn and yelling obscenities at them.
Pass them and then slow down in front of them.
Nothing, you are not in a hurry anyway, just enjoying the scenery.
Follow them until they stop, kidnap and kill them, then eat the bodies.
Minions are useful. I like minions.
You have a lot of acquaintances, but no really close friends.
As long as alcohol is involved, everyone is your friend.
You have a small group of people you consider to be good friends and a lot of acquaintances.
Those who are less intelligent will be enslaved, those who are equally intelligent you will keep around to procreate with, and there is no one smarter than you.
You don’t trust others, and they really shouldn’t trust you.
You trust people until they give you a reason to not trust you anymore.
Go ahead and trust me, you will change your mind when you wake up in a tub of ice and missing a kidney.
You trust no one. You like your kidneys where they are
You like to make people trust you. It is more fun that way when you violate that trust on purpose.
You are worthy of everyone’s trust. You consider it a sacred vow that you will never violate.
The world would be a better place if we all expressed how we felt.
You only share your true feelings with your spouse/mate or a really good friend if you have been drinking.
You had your tear ducts surgically removed.
Feelings require having a heart – something you do not possess.
You share your feelings with your therapist only – that is what you are paying them for.
You feel like shaving your neighbor's dog and duct-taping its naked body to the wall.
It is only appropriate for grown men to cry in public if they have suffered massive head trauma or their favorite team has won/lost the Super Bowl.
You refuse to admit it until there is undeniable proof.
You are the kind of stand-up person who is comfortable admitting when you are wrong.
The moot question, you never have been, and never will be wrong.
You blame it on someone else, or you insist that you heard the question wrong.
You usually are wrong to the point people assume anything you say is incorrect.
Those who have accused you of being wrong were killed, and you use their intestines as shoelaces for your superhero costume.
Your jokes and teasing can get a bit nasty at times, but you have to admit, they are pretty funny.
Nothing is sacred. You can, and have, made jokes at funerals.
The point of most of your jokes is to make others cry or feel bad about themselves.
You think mailing people an animal head is a great joke.
Why did God give women 2 holes? So you can carry them home like a six-pack.
You change the ethnicity of people in racist jokes depending on what race you are talking to.
If you pay, you expect the other person to put out.
As long as there are not too many, maggots you don’t see why homonecrobestality should be illegal.
No sex until at least the third date.
It’s only cheating if you get caught.
As long as your spouse/partner says it’s okay for you to fuck someone else.
You are saving yourself until marriage.
You have lied about a death in the family to get out of work or helping someone move.
You enjoy lobbing "innocent" comments during meetings that serve no purpose other than to humiliate or cause discomfort to the person on the receiving end.
You find it useful to glare at, insult, and even occasionally holler at some of the idiots at your workplace – otherwise, they never seem to shape up.
As long as you are doing it in the privacy of your own dungeon, it is none of anyone’s business what you do to the sheep.
Treat people how you would like to be treated because karma is a bitch.
Treat people the way they treat you.
You try to be nice at all times. You never know when your smile will make someone’s day.
When people see you, they run away screaming something about you being the one on the news.
You have the feeling that people are always very careful about what they say around you, and they are usually hesitant to share personal information with you.
People often seem to react to your arrival by announcing that they have to leave.
Strangers will often approach you for help.
You notice that people seem to avoid eye contact when they talk to you – and they often become very nervous.
High fives and handshakes all around, you are just that damn cool.
I would call him names. Nobody has ever heard.
I will make faces to tease him/her.
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