Husband In Lingerie

🛑 ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻

Husband In Lingerie


Posted on August 19, 2016
- By
Victoria Uwumarogie

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN

If you came home from work one day and found your significant other walking around in a pair of your underwear, how would you react? Would it be immediate grounds for the dismissal of your relationship? Or could you go with the flow as long as he kept this practice within the confines of your home?
As shocking as such a discovery might sound, it’s more common than you would think.
“I’ve been married for 12 years to a man I love. Some time ago, I discovered by accident that he likes to wear women’s lingerie,” a woman shared in the UK’s Independent .
“I arrived home early one night to discover him in some of mine, and was very taken aback. Initially, he said he was just experimenting, and was a bit embarrassed. I didn’t believe him, and challenged him to tell me how much and how often – and eventually he admitted it was something he’d been doing for some time in secret.”
As the woman would go on to say, when he showed her how he looked in a pair of her tights, she had to admit that he didn’t look so odd after all. She “reluctantly agreed” to bear with his lingerie fixation on the grounds that he never tell anyone about it or “overdo” it. She found that his “heightened arousal” actually improved their sex life (which seems to be the familiar result — more on that later). But once he started asking her to pick up some new lingerie for him in specific colors and styles, she became uncomfortable.
She ended up wondering if his fascination with women’s lingerie, a.k.a., cross-dressing, was something that would pass or if it would become something that could no longer be hidden. For her, she was more worried about others finding out about his love of lingerie over time than anything else.
As I scrolled through the Internet, from Dear Wendy pages to The Experience Project , I came across more and more women who were trying to figure out what to do about their husbands wearing their panties and pantyhose. And one of the women giving advice actually said that women should try and be open-minded, and that such kinks, as she called them, could improve their relationships.
“If you can reserve judgment and just listen to his explanation with an open heart, hopefully your husband will trust you enough to share his feelings and you will find that this is really nothing more than a kink — and a pretty harmless one at that — and doesn’t have to have a negative effect on your marriage. It could even have a positive effect.”
One man, in the comment section, even admitted to doing it and also said that it improved his sex life with his girlfriend: “I am a guy who wears panties everyday. MY girfriend [sic] was frist [sic] freaked now she buys me nightgowns, and panties she loves me in stockings, We have an AMAZING love life
Be open, guys like soft things to [sic]. I am a guy who ride [sic] Motorcycles, plays sports and a manly man >> no one but me knows whats underneath”
Reading such accounts left me wondering what those around me would do if they caught their spouse in women’s underwear, specifically their own. The consensus? A pretty contorted face. One of my girlfriends did say she might make it work if they were married and had been together for quite some time (“Like 30 years…”). Another emphatically said she couldn’t accept it.
“I just don’t like the idea of a man being very feminine,” she said. “I don’t even wear silk slips, what I look like coming in and you’re wearing one? Plus, it’s a slippery slope into other things. If you want to dress up like a woman, where do we go from there?”
But is it? Experts remind us that cross-dressing, being homosexual, and even being trans, are not the same things. As the man above pointed out, he could appreciate women’s underwear but still be a “manly man.” And a man could wear your stockings and drawls and very likely do so without finding himself sexually attracted to the same sex or, as “ Dear Wendy ” put it, “feeling like he’s a woman in a man’s body.”
Still, I don’t know what I would do. Some kinks really are harmless, but I feel like such a discovery would make me more uncomfortable rather than open-minded. But at the same time, you telling your partner that you don’t want them to do such things probably won’t keep them from looking through your lingerie when you’re not home. If they’re passionate enough about it, it’s going to happen. It’s all about what you truly feel you can deal with and what things are just a little too outside of the box for you. And I’m sorry, but me seeing my significant other in my underwear as he changes out of his work clothes every day would just be a little too much for me, child…
But as always, that’s just my opinion. What say you? Is a man in women’s underwear a harmless kink or something you couldn’t see past? 
We've joined the BHM Digital family of websites and have updated our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
By continuing to use this site, you agree to our updated Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
MadameNoire is a sophisticated lifestyle publication that gives African-American women the latest in fashion trends,
black entertainment news, parenting tips and beauty secrets that are specifically for black women. Black women
seek information on a wide variety of topics including African-American hair care, health issues, relationship
advice and career trends - and MadameNoire provides all of that.
MadameNoire ® Copyright © 2022 BossipMadameNoire, LLC All Rights Reserved | BHM Digital
Help us keep MadameNoire's content free! Please turn off your ad blocker.


By: Dear Wendy


June 19, 2014

Columns


95 comments

I recently went through my husband’s phone and found pictures of him in my panties and lingerie. The pictures showed him with an erection. I’m so disgusted and confused, and I do not know how to approach him. We have had some troubles in our marriage in the past but nothing ever like this. My concern is that he could possibly be involved in homosexual activity and putting my health at risk. We have a 5-year-old daughter who absolutely adores him, so ending the marriage is not that easy. I know that when I bring the pictures up he will be highly embarrassed. I just can’t imagine why he would be doing this. — He Wears My Lingerie
Archives Archives


Select Month
August 2022
July 2022
June 2022
May 2022
April 2022
March 2022
February 2022
January 2022
December 2021
November 2021
October 2021
September 2021
August 2021
July 2021
June 2021
May 2021
April 2021
March 2021
February 2021
January 2021
December 2020
November 2020
October 2020
September 2020
August 2020
July 2020
June 2020
May 2020
April 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
December 2019
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
June 2019
May 2019
April 2019
March 2019
February 2019
January 2019
December 2018
November 2018
October 2018
September 2018
August 2018
July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
January 2011





New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here . If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com .
Your husband cross-dresses because it brings him pleasure, and he keeps it a secret because he’s ashamed and/or because keeping it a secret increases his arousal. Cross-dressing and homosexuality — and transgender identity, for that matter — are NOT the same thing, and a man can be into wearing women’s clothes without being sexually attracted to men and without feeling like he’s a woman in a man’s body. In fact, many male cross-dressers can have perfectly happy and healthy heterosexual relationships with women they love and are attracted to.
It’s possible that the problems you’ve had in your marriage are related to your husband’s secret (or, they may be unrelated), and bringing the issue out in the open and discussing it compassionately could actually bring you closer together. I’d suggest sitting your husband down and telling him what you found. Avoid accusatory language, but, of course, ask him if he’s being faithful to you and if you have any reason to worry about your sexual health. Tell him you love him and want to understand this behavior. If you can reserve judgment and just listen to his explanation with an open heart, hopefully your husband will trust you enough to share his feelings and you will find that this is really nothing more than a kink — and a pretty harmless one at that — and doesn’t have to have a negative effect on your marriage. It could even have a positive effect.
I actually answered a very similar question (privately) from another reader, and she sent me an update saying: “Our relationship has gotten much better since my husband told me about his cross-dressing — even the sex is better. After 20 years, he has nothing to hide anymore, and, thanks to you, I’m fine with it now. He just likes the way it feels on his skin, and I can understand that.”
Here’s hoping you and your marriage have as positive an outcome.
Follow along on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram .
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com .

LadyinPurpleNotRed
June 19, 2014, 9:04 am

My question after reading: What made you want to snoop through his phone?
So, I saw the snooping as her getting the feeling that he’s keeping something from her. And since he’s been keeping this from her, well, there’s your secret. Sure, it could mean more (I certainly don’t know), but I can see getting a general “he’s keeping something from me” feeling to fuel snooping.
.
I get a pretty good gut feeling when my guy is keeping something from me. And he’s so bad at lying, I’ve ruined many a good surprise by prying just a tiny bit…

LadyinPurpleNotRed
June 19, 2014, 9:27 am

I get that feeling–but talk to him. And if you can’t trust him to be honest, there you go. That’s your answer right there. You don’t need to go snooping for that.
Alternatively, maybe she wasn’t snooping – “recently went through my husband’s phone” could mean she was looking for pictures of her 5-year-old’s recital and he wasn’t being as discreet as he could have been.

bittergaymark
June 19, 2014, 10:18 am

She’d have said that in the LW. The wording reveals the snoop.
I’m sure she suspected something and her instincts were to check on him, it’s not the most righteous thing, and I know I’ve always resisted that temptation, but I get it. something’s wrong and he either isn’t telling her if she’s asking or she just wanted to snoop. Maybe its just me but I think I’d be relieved if this is what I found.

LadyinPurpleNotRed
June 19, 2014, 9:41 am

Just wanting to snoop-really crappy excuse.
Him not telling her=still not great…but a better one–but one that needs to be dealt with on its own-snooping won’t solve that problem.
You Should go snooping if you feel that your spouse is keeping an intimate secret.
Crazy to think that’s out of line
(lady In purple?)”if you can’t trust him to be honest there you go. There’s your answer right there” lol
There’s absolutely no answer in that lol.
I found out my spouse was keeping a crossdressing secret from me by accidentally showing up to his house and letting myself in while he was gone. I found the clothes and other items I won’t disclose, And initially I thought he was reminiscing over his ex girlfriend and missing her so I tossed the clothes over the fence! ( we had been arguing before I had showed up there earlier in day ) Later on when we were getting along again I told him how I tossed that laundry basket of clothes over the back fence and he was mad! I said, “you care that much about her that it’s gonna upset you this much?!”
And he yelled, “ they are not hers!!!”
Right away I heard the message loud and clear. That’s been almost two years ago. It’s still a secret tho. We can not discuss it or there will be hell.. not from me..
And my feelings are still upset and hurting about the secret but mainly cause he don’t or won’t talk to me about it or share the intimacy with me.. I totally can dig it and It would turn me on if he was dressed during sex. However he puts very little real effort into our sex but he puts a huge effort into his masturbation Sex life and tbh.. that hurts too
I get that phones are most people’s regular cameras these days but I can’t help but wonder if the fact that he used his phone means he sent or plans to send the pictures to someone else. … Just wondering: when you went through his phone, were there any sent images? (Also why were you going through your husbands phone?) It sounds like you may be more worried about/suspect infidelity rather than a kink. I wish there were more information here. But, like Wendy said, you’ve got to ask him. And the best way to approach him would be to not jump to conclusions … but if there’s more going on here (and there must have been something to prompt you to go through his phone), that may be hard to do.
So I have to say I haven’t picked up my ‘real’ camera in over a year. I exclusively use my phone to take any pictures. It’s also easier to see yourself if your phone has the switch the view option so you can take a better picture of yourself.
But, I would probably not jump straight to cheating either. I would have thought of it as a fantasy first. So I agree that something else is fueling the feeling that he’s cheating and the original looking through his phone.
I had the same thought as you Addie Pray. I wonder if the fact that they are on his phone means that he has sent them to someone. Although I have taken pics of myself in a bathing suit to show what I looked like in this bathing suit before I started a certain work out program. But I’m certainly not aroused and didn’t plan on sending them to anyone.
Assuming it’s just a kink – the guy likes to dress up in women’s clothing and it turns him on – ladies, would you be ok with that? My first reaction is “I think that’s weird” which then makes me think I might not be so open-minded and understanding as I would hope. Or maybe that would be my first reaction and then I’d become open-minded and understanding? I’d hope. What about you?
Depends on how good he looks in women’s lingerie…
So, not totally related, but I thought underwear would never make a difference in this regard, and I am not a fan of the frilly, slinky underwear stuff. Then I went to a gay club and they had men walking around in boxer briefs – holy shit, that is hot! Totally wasn’t expecting to have that reaction, but I’ve gotten Bassanio to occasionally change his underwear habits… He hasn’t complained.
Question to the gay men out there: is it common for gay clubs to have random hot men walking around in boxer briefs? Or is it just that one place?

Bittergaymark
June 19, 2014, 10:16 am

Fairly common. Extremely common. They are called Go Go Boys. And — yes — they are prone to wear boxer briefs as they are the hottest male underwear around. More often than not these dancing dudes are broke straight college boys who make BANK. Gay men are visual creatures, what can I say? And we like a good show.
Thanks BGM! Man, were those Go Go Boys hot, and now I know what to inquire about next time my friends are down with going to a gay club…

bittergaymark
June 19, 2014, 6:36 pm

Do you live in Portland, by chance?
Do most men wear boxers? My boyfriend is strictly a boxer briefs kind of guy.
I don’t know about most men, but the ones I’ve dated were all in the boxer category, unfortunately.

LadyinPurpleNotRed
June 19, 2014, 10:44 am

I’ve also only dated boxer wearing guys

bittergaymark
June 19, 2014, 10:33 am

Uh-oh. He wears boxer-briefs? GAY!! (I kid, I kid.) All men SHOULD wear a rotating combo of boxers and boxer briefs… Tighty whiteys look good on like 9 people in all of America…
Ha, well it is probably partially because those are the kind of underwear that his mom buys for him for Christmas and birthdays, along with socks.

bittergaymark
June 19, 2014, 10:47 am

All mothers secretly want gay sons…
Fiance started off all boxers, now does all boxer briefs cause he says they are more comfortable. I’m certainly not complaining….
I personally like regular white briefs because when a man is just wearing briefs – oh especially with socks – he looks so nerdy I LOVE IT.
Is it the Risky Business Tom Cruise image? Because I wouldn’t see nerdy, I’d see that…
I recently switched from briefs for the support to boxers seeking comfort. I seems that you just can’t have it both ways at the same time.

muchachaenlaventana
June 19, 2014, 10:33 am

Boxer briefs are my kryptonite. My boyfriend wears the on special occasions like I do lingerie. I hope to slowly phase out all of his boxers for boxer briefs.
I think that just as it’s OK to have a certain kink, it’s also OK to find some kinks to be turn-offs (not to be confused with shaming someone for their kink). If I were confronted with this, I wouldn’t be thrilled (men wearing women’s lingerie do not look sexy to me), but I’d probably try and see if I could adjust to the idea of my guy doing this. But if I
Lingerie Solo Video
Amy Lesbian
Sexy Black Lingerie