Husband Humiliated

Husband Humiliated
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I sometimes hear from wives who have no idea how they will ever get their husband to forgive their affair. They are sorrier than they can ever express. And they would do anything to earn his forgiveness. But it seems that the affair has challenged his masculinity – and he finds that sin almost more unforgivable than the affair itself.
A wife might explain, “I could not be more remorseful about what I have done. When I was on a business trip, I had too much to drink and I slept with my boss. It was a big mistake and my boss had no business hitting on me. But at the same time, I made this mistake. I have to take responsibility. I didn’t say no and I allowed it to happen. Once I sobered up, I called my husband and I told him everything. I hoped that he would appreciate me being truthful. He didn’t. He told me to stay with my mother and would not allow me to return home. I accepted this at first, but that was three weeks ago. When I try to talk to him, he is still every bit as furious as he was on the night that this happened. He says that I humiliated him by sleeping with my boss. He says that he knows that my mother is going to tell people at our church and this challenges his masculinity. He says that he won’t be able to look people in the eye at church and he’s not sure if he can ever forgive me for that. The great irony of all of this is that my husband was unfaithful when we were first dating. Honestly, we had just met. And he’s never cheated during our marriage. But still, I forgave him. And now he’s telling me that he won’t be able to forgive me. I don’t want to let go of my marriage. I know that I made a horrible mistake, but I want him to give me a chance to make it right. Is he just over-exaggerating about this humiliation thing?”
It probably doesn’t feel like an exaggeration to him. If you research recovery from affairs, you will see that women will often struggle the most to overcome the idea that the husband was emotionally connected to someone else. (Sure, she hates the idea of sex. But it is more upsetting if she thinks that her husband emotionally loved someone else.) With a man or husband, it is actually the opposite. Even though a wife being “in love” with another man can cause serious damage to the marriage, it is usually the sex that bothers a husband the most. He is often concerned that you did things with the other man that you wouldn’t do with him (or didn’t enjoy) and he will worry that the other man performed better than him.
For a man, a lot of their self-worth is tied up in their feelings of competence and power. If he feels that another man is higher up on this scale for you, it can be extremely damaging and hurtful. This is a pain that he will often want to escape – which is why he may be telling you that he can never forgive you. He may know that he is going to struggle to be okay or to come to terms with these feelings of inadequacy.
The good news is that what you feel immediately or even soon after discovering the affair isn’t always what you feel toward the end of the recovery process. I too thought that I could never forgive my husband. And yet, here I am. I thought that I would never get over that type of betrayal, but I am still married. And I can identify with what your husband is saying: When your spouse cheats on you, it can cause you to doubt yourself in many ways. This process can feel very humiliating. And that is a pain that you don’t want to experience for the rest of your life.
But as you heal and begin to connect with your partner again, feelings of hope can eventually start to replace those negative feelings. This process takes time. I sometimes think that the only reason that I am still married is that my husband hung in there when I was trying to push him away. Why am I telling you this? Because if your marriage is still important to you, just hang in there at a safe distance. Your husband might not want to forgive you right now. That’s fair. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t still stay in touch and communicate while you are waiting for things to improve. Sometimes, you just have to be patient and let him know that you are there if he feels ready to talk. It may take a while before he feels ready. It did for me. The anger and the devastation can be all that you can concentrate on initially. And seeing your spouse can make it worse. So give it time. Keep repeating that you are sorry, that you take responsibility, and that you will be there when he is ready to ask questions. Right now, that is really all that you can do. When your husband does want to talk, be prepared to give him honest answers. And be prepared to do whatever is necessary to heal the marriage.
It probably will not be easy. But sometimes, spouses who never thought that they could forgive (including myself) eventually do once they come to believe that their spouse is willing to wait.
Katie Lersch enjoys helping other women save their marriages or heal from the pain of an affair. See her blog at: http://surviving-the-affair.com

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Home Featured Why Sexual Humiliation Can Be So Damn Hot
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Do you ever find yourself lying in your bed, thinking back to every possible instance where you’ve felt humiliated? Wincing while remembering the most embarrassing and demeaning moments of your life?
Like, maybe you had some toilet paper stuck to your pants when you walked out of your highschool bathroom. It happens, right? But, oh, no , someone noticed it! What’s more, they pointed it out to the entire school! The horror !
Or perhaps your crush publicly rejected and ridiculed you in front of a huge crowd? That’s humiliation. Most people try their best to avoid it. No wonder, right? The negative feelings of embarrassment, shame, and dread that usually follow are a nightmare to most people.
However, some people get off on it. Have you ever felt that delicious pang of sexual arousal while you’ve been remembering those situations? Then you might be into humiliation play.
What pops into your mind when you hear the words “sexual masochism?” Pain, probably, right? But there’s so much more to sexual masochism than mere pain and torture. After all, words can sometimes hurt more than anything else, right?
Sexual humiliation is a form of sexual masochism. It’s usually a part of a dominant-submissive arrangement. The more dominant partner humiliates and embarrasses the submissive one for the sake of sexual arousal and gratification.
In other words, some people simply love being verbally, physically, and psychologically humiliated. This results in enormous sexual arousal that they can’t achieve in any other way.
Now, although erotic humiliation has fascinated people for years, there isn’t much research about it. We don’t know precisely why some people like it. That’s especially weird considering that humiliation is a fairly popular kink. But then again, it doesn’t really matter, does it?
If you like something and your partner is willing and able to give it to you (in other words, if everything is safe, sane, and consensual), then every sexual act you can think of is perfectly fine and acceptable. There’s no kink-shaming in the BDSM community!
Erotic humiliation has to be done with the informed consent of all parties. What’s more, it isn’t something that you can jump into without a lengthy discussion.
Just like any other kink, humiliation demands negotiations. One person might find being called a filthy whore, for example, to be just the right amount of humiliation, while someone else might see that as nothing more than light dirty talk.
So you have to figure out what works for you (and your partner) and set soft and hard limits.
Also, if you’re a complete novice in the world of humiliation, you’re probably wondering what’s it all about. What does it look like? What does it feel like? What do partners say and do to each other?
Overall, we can split humiliation play into two categories — verbal and physical. There are also several levels of intensity when it comes to humiliation play.
There’s the lowest, mildest level, which is embarrassment. Then there’s the run-of-the-mill humiliation, as well as degradation and dehumanization. The latter two are the more intense and not something you should jump into right off the bat.
The thing about the humiliation kink is that it’s extremely specific. You might think that being called a slut in bed is extremely embarrassing. But your partner might not agree.
That’s why negotiating before playing is vital. You have to find the right words and actions that are both erotic (that entice arousal) and embarrassing or humiliation for humiliation play to be successful.
Physical humiliation often includes a reversal of gender roles. Making a man do housework (usually in the nude and on all fours) will probably be a real hit. What’s more, making men wear women’s clothing — short skirts, women’s lingerie, stockings, and even high heels — is another popular form of physical humiliation. Putting men in a cuckold position is another example (albeit an extreme one).
Even something minor can be a form of humiliation. Making your partner wait for ten or more minutes before you open the door to let them in, for example. Or making them crawl instead of walk into your home.
Some popular forms of physical humiliation are:
Although you often don’t even have to speak to humiliate someone, verbal humiliation is still quite popular. If your partner is a man, try calling him a little boy, puppet, sissy, or a pet. And if they are a woman, go for little girl, slut, doll, and whore.
Aside from that, using derogatory language based on your partner’s insecurities will make them divinely humiliating. Maybe they have body image issues? Call them fat and disgusting. Of course, only if you previously agreed upon that.
Even men who have perfectly average dicks are afraid that their manhood isn’t big enough to satisfy their partners. If your partner is into humiliation play, targeting their penis to embarrass and humiliate them is a perfect choice.
What does Science say about the exact penis size for satisfying women? Find out here
Is there anything better than making someone else do your job for you? That’s forced flattery. It’s a form of humiliation where the dominant makes the submissive flatter them while also degrading themselves.
For example, if you’re trying to humiliate your partner, make them act as your footstool. Also, make them say something like, “You’re a goddess, and I don’t deserve you because I’m so worthless!”
The two most extreme levels of humiliation include the dominant partner making the submissive partner feel less than a human. That can include making them feel like a piece of furniture or even an animal (which is an extreme form of pet play).
The question of why some people are turned on by humiliation is not an easy one to answer. The thing is — if you’re into it, then you’re into it. Other people might not get it in the same way that some people don’t get extreme sports. Why risk your life jumping out of an airplane?
Well, because it’s exciting! It’s arousing! On top of that, it’s also a taboo. And every taboo is hot .
If you’re really looking for an answer on why humiliation is sexually arousing to some people, you might find it in prior experiences. Some subs have had experiences where pain, embarrassment, and humiliation occurred at the same time as pleasure. Thus, they might be chasing that high again. You might want to check Sexual Masochism Disorder .
So what should you do if your partner approaches you with the suggestion to try humiliation play? Well, feel free to say no if that’s not your thing. All BDSM practices are huge on consent and mutual satisfaction. So don’t force yourself to do anything you don’t want to.
But what if the thought of humiliating your partner lights that spark deep within you? What if it makes your private parts twitch in anticipation? Well, then sit your partner down to hash out all the details.
Coming up with a safe word as well as a plan for your scene is vital. Both partners also need to be able to enjoy the scene. So there’s probably some compromising coming your way in the future. But, hey, at least the end result will be mind-blowing!

This wife is fed up with her husband who is trying to kick her out so she takes their life to the Internet!

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What a crazy bitch. Blah blah blah, I'm a golddigger, blah blah blah, I'm a whore, blah blah blah, I need to be raped in the butt by someone I met on myspace.

on myspace......inthebutt.......on myspace......that girl right there could've gotten raped in the butt!

i'd put it in her ass then kick her to the curb

Get a Goddamn job you cunt. Every guy has condoms, porn and Viagra. And if I was the millionaire, I wouldn't fuck this ugly dipshit either. Dear lord, 60 million dollars and you can't find someone hotter than HER?!

She married for money, he married for sex.

how did he marry for sex if they dont do it? I dont understand her whole relationship. . .if he is making her so miserable, she should go back to fucking London and back to her 'addiction'

looks like the gold digger just gave him pretty good grounds for a divorce...

She does seem like a bitch. Probably his grounds for divorce.

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