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Humiliation Penis
Home Featured Why Sexual Humiliation Can Be So Damn Hot
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Do you ever find yourself lying in your bed, thinking back to every possible instance where you’ve felt humiliated? Wincing while remembering the most embarrassing and demeaning moments of your life?
Like, maybe you had some toilet paper stuck to your pants when you walked out of your highschool bathroom. It happens, right? But, oh, no , someone noticed it! What’s more, they pointed it out to the entire school! The horror !
Or perhaps your crush publicly rejected and ridiculed you in front of a huge crowd? That’s humiliation. Most people try their best to avoid it. No wonder, right? The negative feelings of embarrassment, shame, and dread that usually follow are a nightmare to most people.
However, some people get off on it. Have you ever felt that delicious pang of sexual arousal while you’ve been remembering those situations? Then you might be into humiliation play.
What pops into your mind when you hear the words “sexual masochism?” Pain, probably, right? But there’s so much more to sexual masochism than mere pain and torture. After all, words can sometimes hurt more than anything else, right?
Sexual humiliation is a form of sexual masochism. It’s usually a part of a dominant-submissive arrangement. The more dominant partner humiliates and embarrasses the submissive one for the sake of sexual arousal and gratification.
In other words, some people simply love being verbally, physically, and psychologically humiliated. This results in enormous sexual arousal that they can’t achieve in any other way.
Now, although erotic humiliation has fascinated people for years, there isn’t much research about it. We don’t know precisely why some people like it. That’s especially weird considering that humiliation is a fairly popular kink. But then again, it doesn’t really matter, does it?
If you like something and your partner is willing and able to give it to you (in other words, if everything is safe, sane, and consensual), then every sexual act you can think of is perfectly fine and acceptable. There’s no kink-shaming in the BDSM community!
Erotic humiliation has to be done with the informed consent of all parties. What’s more, it isn’t something that you can jump into without a lengthy discussion.
Just like any other kink, humiliation demands negotiations. One person might find being called a filthy whore, for example, to be just the right amount of humiliation, while someone else might see that as nothing more than light dirty talk.
So you have to figure out what works for you (and your partner) and set soft and hard limits.
Also, if you’re a complete novice in the world of humiliation, you’re probably wondering what’s it all about. What does it look like? What does it feel like? What do partners say and do to each other?
Overall, we can split humiliation play into two categories — verbal and physical. There are also several levels of intensity when it comes to humiliation play.
There’s the lowest, mildest level, which is embarrassment. Then there’s the run-of-the-mill humiliation, as well as degradation and dehumanization. The latter two are the more intense and not something you should jump into right off the bat.
The thing about the humiliation kink is that it’s extremely specific. You might think that being called a slut in bed is extremely embarrassing. But your partner might not agree.
That’s why negotiating before playing is vital. You have to find the right words and actions that are both erotic (that entice arousal) and embarrassing or humiliation for humiliation play to be successful.
Physical humiliation often includes a reversal of gender roles. Making a man do housework (usually in the nude and on all fours) will probably be a real hit. What’s more, making men wear women’s clothing — short skirts, women’s lingerie, stockings, and even high heels — is another popular form of physical humiliation. Putting men in a cuckold position is another example (albeit an extreme one).
Even something minor can be a form of humiliation. Making your partner wait for ten or more minutes before you open the door to let them in, for example. Or making them crawl instead of walk into your home.
Some popular forms of physical humiliation are:
Although you often don’t even have to speak to humiliate someone, verbal humiliation is still quite popular. If your partner is a man, try calling him a little boy, puppet, sissy, or a pet. And if they are a woman, go for little girl, slut, doll, and whore.
Aside from that, using derogatory language based on your partner’s insecurities will make them divinely humiliating. Maybe they have body image issues? Call them fat and disgusting. Of course, only if you previously agreed upon that.
Even men who have perfectly average dicks are afraid that their manhood isn’t big enough to satisfy their partners. If your partner is into humiliation play, targeting their penis to embarrass and humiliate them is a perfect choice.
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Is there anything better than making someone else do your job for you? That’s forced flattery. It’s a form of humiliation where the dominant makes the submissive flatter them while also degrading themselves.
For example, if you’re trying to humiliate your partner, make them act as your footstool. Also, make them say something like, “You’re a goddess, and I don’t deserve you because I’m so worthless!”
The two most extreme levels of humiliation include the dominant partner making the submissive partner feel less than a human. That can include making them feel like a piece of furniture or even an animal (which is an extreme form of pet play).
The question of why some people are turned on by humiliation is not an easy one to answer. The thing is — if you’re into it, then you’re into it. Other people might not get it in the same way that some people don’t get extreme sports. Why risk your life jumping out of an airplane?
Well, because it’s exciting! It’s arousing! On top of that, it’s also a taboo. And every taboo is hot .
If you’re really looking for an answer on why humiliation is sexually arousing to some people, you might find it in prior experiences. Some subs have had experiences where pain, embarrassment, and humiliation occurred at the same time as pleasure. Thus, they might be chasing that high again. You might want to check Sexual Masochism Disorder .
So what should you do if your partner approaches you with the suggestion to try humiliation play? Well, feel free to say no if that’s not your thing. All BDSM practices are huge on consent and mutual satisfaction. So don’t force yourself to do anything you don’t want to.
But what if the thought of humiliating your partner lights that spark deep within you? What if it makes your private parts twitch in anticipation? Well, then sit your partner down to hash out all the details.
Coming up with a safe word as well as a plan for your scene is vital. Both partners also need to be able to enjoy the scene. So there’s probably some compromising coming your way in the future. But, hey, at least the end result will be mind-blowing!
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Model Josh Kloss' complaint of sexual harassment by Katy Perry opens up serious questions about general abuses of power and the particularities of penile humiliation.
The male model Josh Kloss has accused Katy Perry of exposing his penis to a group of people at a party. The pair had met when Kloss was cast as Perry’s love interest in the ‘Teenage Dream’ music video, but later at a mutual friend’s birthday party she pulled down his trousers and underwear to show the gathering of people his penis. On an instagram post in which he detailed the incident, Kloss commented, “Can you imagine how pathetic and embarrassed I felt?” and said, “…our culture is set on proving men of power are perverse. But females with power are just as disgusting.”
Interesting story this, obviously drawing attention to the fact that yes, men can be sexually assaulted or harassed too. Certainly it valuably adds new angles at an important time when drunken hijinks are being reframed in terms of the victim of the behaviour rather than the ‘wildness’ of the perpetrator. It’s important because it creates a general sense of self-examination we all have to do with regards to the past, and education in how to move forward with more empathy and responsibility. What’s particularly interesting about it is how deeply this hits the thing that really get to men: humiliation. And not just any humiliation, but penis humiliation.
As we learned at one of our events , when you talk to a lot of prisoners, you find their lives can often have been dictated by one moment of humiliation which they never get over. A life of violence, addiction, and rage can have been instigated by being laughed at in a shower, or having someone mock you sexually. Men can have their entire lives dictated by perceptions of their penises. Photographer Laura Dodsworth told us that men who felt they were small down there, often felt like less of a man, and those with larger penises feel burdened in other ways, like the man she photographed who “used his penis as a shield” and developed serious self-esteem issues.
Penis shaming can really have a detrimental effect, and when you understand that, you understand why Perry’s action was so out of order. “Look at his dick, everyone.” It’s a man’s worst nightmare – to have your most vulnerable thing laid out for everyone to giggle at, is primal degradation. It will no doubt have haunted Kloss all this time, and you believe him when he says he’s not speaking out for monetary gain, just so that people will know how abuses of power can be meted out by all genders, and understand how much this can affect a person.
This is not to say Katy Perry wilfully set out to psychologically damage the guy for the rest of his life, but it’s uncomfortable because of the fact she felt she could go there, with this underling, this model who’d been paid a few hundred dollars for her video shoot. It demonstrates that hierarchal thinking, where you can believe you are ‘untouchable’ and can get away with everything, particularly with the ‘lessers’ among us.
A post shared by Joshkloss (@iamjoshkloss) on Aug 11, 2019 at 4:33pm PDT
Some quarters are questioning the seriousness of Kloss’ complaints, like how bad was it really? And while you can say he was not in a position of physical threat like many of the high profile media cases of powerful men assaulting women, his experience would still have cut to the heart of who is.
In closing, what we would add is that as well as wanting people to understand that men can be sexually harassed, it’s valuable for us men to also think harder about the kind of harassment towards women that goes on everywhere. Think how awful you would have felt in Kloss’ situation, and then think how awful women must feel as they are catcalled, slut shamed, and objectified on a daily basis. Talk to women – this shit is so prevalent it’s been normalised. In this respect, while we can gather in sympathy behind Kloss it’s also worth looking at the bigger picture, at the casual harassments that happen in bars, workplaces, parks, and homes, everywhere that people are, and ask: how can we show more respect and assume less ownership? Because sure as shit, this master-slave dynamic exists at all levels of our society.
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