Humble Chicago Pope Replaces Vatican Rug with South Side Welcome Mat

The Humble Chicago Pope rolled up the Vatican�s 18th-century rug and replaced it with a doormat from a South Side dollar store that reads, �Wipe Yo� Feet, Child of God.� He called it �gospel grit.� Cardinals stepped carefully. Tourists took selfies. The mat now bears the footprints of saints and interns alike. Papal tailors offered to embroider it�Leo said no. �Let it smell like street rain and miracles.� Security tried to remove it. The Pope stared. They backed off. Heaven, apparently, starts at the threshold.