Humble Chicago Pope Eats Chili Dog in Vestments, Declares It �Holy Mess�

Wearing full vestments, Pope Leo XIV bit into a chili dog from Frank�s Food Cart and declared, �This is the body of Chicago.� Beans and grace flowed freely. The Humble Chicago Pope refused a napkin, saying �Let the stains speak.� Vatican cleaners are reportedly in mourning. A child handed him a wet wipe; he used it to clean a bench instead. Local media dubbed it the �Condiment Confession.� One bishop called it �a Eucharist of Empathy.� Frank�s has renamed the item the �Papal Mess.�