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Memet Walker on Tuesday’s Stern Show
Photo: The Howard Stern Show



Steve Nowicki in the Stern Show back office Tuesday morning
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

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With a particularly cold winter plaguing New York City,
Howard opened Tuesday’s show wondering if he could ever move the studio to
Florida.
“It would be an easier lifestyle,” Howard rationalized.
Robin thought it was a great idea and noted that it gives
her pause when she sees older people using walkers to shuffle around the city. “Life
in New York is tough,” she said.
There’s no doubt Wendy the Slow Adult and Bobo (a.k.a. Steve from Florida) would approve, too, but not everyone was willing to embrace the idea. “I
got a note that says: ‘Benjy says he refuses to go to Florida if the show
moves,'” Howard told listeners.
“I can’t find a dorm down there,” Fred Norris joked in his popular
impression of Benjy, referencing the recent revelation that the Stern Show
staffer was living in a college residence hall .
Fortunately for Benjy, Howard admitted it would be too much
work to move the show’s operations. “It’s just too overwhelming a task,” he
said.
There are many handsome men who work on the Stern Show but
only one can win the title of Best-Looking Staffer. Howard wasn’t aware such a
distinction even existed but according to Memet Walker, he’s been the clear
frontrunner for most attractive guy in the back office for some time now. However,
on Tuesday morning he conceded to his co-worker Steve Nowicki.
“I am willing to pass on the title of best-looking guy on
the Stern Show,” Memet announced on the air.
“I thought Will had that title,” Howard said, speaking of
Stern Show staffer Will Murray who for years has taken compliments from callers
who consider him attractive. By Memet’s count, though, Will hasn’t been the
best-looking staffer in a while.
“You can’t give away what you don’t own,” Stern Show
executive producer Gary Dell’Abate told Memet with a laugh. But to Memet, the
title of best-looking staffer is hardly self-proclaimed—it was “the world”
who determined him the hottest amongst Howard’s employees.
“I just want to say, man, it is a heavy cross to bear, my
friend. So, be prepared,” Memet warned Nowicki.
“I’m very honored to have this title now,” Nowicki joked.
As the only woman in the Stern Show studio on Tuesday, the
guys were interested in who Robin Quivers regarded as the sexier staffer. Through
girlish giggles she admitted Steve Nowicki was her “main guy.”
“I know what’s going on here,” Memet said after hearing her
answer. He presumed Robin really preferred him to Steve but made her selection
in an effort to get Memet to like her more. “I just think Robin likes to pick
on me,” he continued.
Both Memet and Nowicki have caught the eyes of countless
women and they’ve discussed their many conquests on past Stern Shows . Nowicki
told Howard how just this weekend he made out with a girl he met at a bar. “She
came onto me, like, very strongly,” Steve said, revealing that while they were
kissing the girl even copped a feel of his crotch.
As for Memet, he declared once and for all that he’s no
longer interested in having meaningless sex. “I am not that guy anymore,” he
told Howard. “I’ve evolved.”
Instead, he’s looking for someone special to settle down
with, like so many of his co-workers have done with their significant others.
“This will be a new, exciting adventure. I’m gonna be as
boring as all the rest of these assholes,” Memet said.
Ronnie “the Limo Driver” Mund has been on a mad tear in the
Stern Show office lately between giving his co-workers porn watching tips and begrudgingly admitting how many adult film stars and
X-rated sites he follows on Twitter. On Tuesday, the sexed-up 68-year-old
shocked everyone, though, when he announced he had come across a video on the
internet that was too dirty for even him to watch.
He described how the video started off promising with a girl
on a bed, but he said it quickly took a turn for the worse as her butt was opened with a
speculum and filled with cereal and milk before another woman ate it out of her.
“It sounds like he watched the whole thing,” Stern Show staffer JD Harmeyer said with a
laugh.
“Once she started putting the spoon in her ass, I was done,”
Ronnie corrected.
While eating cereal out of a woman may not be on their
bucket lists, in-studio staff panelists Steve Nowicki and Memet Walker told
Howard they did both strive to one day have a threesome and wondered if Ronnie
had ever— like his parents —gotten the opportunity.
“One time … You got to set some kind of ground rules,” he offered
as a tip, explaining that for his “main” girl at the time it meant he couldn’t go all the way with the other woman. “Sometimes you can’t fuck the other girl … you
could do everything else.”
Memet was incredulous and challenged whether
Ronnie’s experience could even be considered a threesome. Brent Hatley, a veteran of several threesomes himself, echoed the opinion.
“I got to play with her, she got to play with me, she got to
play with her. It was bouncing back and forth everywhere,” Ronnie argued. “I went along with rules and I had a great time.”
Memet was complimentary of the experience but stuck to his
position. “You had a two-and-a-half-some,” he concluded.
Steve, Gary Dell’Abate, Richard Christy, Sal
Governale, JD, and Jason Kaplan, meanwhile, all voted that Ronnie’s
experience would indeed be considered a threesome.
Unsurprisingly, Benjy Bronk chimed in from outside the
studio with his opinion, which was similar to Memet’s. Yet Benjy did surprise
the staff with a revelation that he had, in fact, participated in an official
threesome himself at one point.
“It’s a man’s world,” Gary joked in response.
Do you think Ronnie’s experience can be considered a threesome? Let us know!
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And it still has an impressive 21-minute run time.
Also, even with their tag team sequence edited out, Sal and Richard still come off pretty gay.
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